Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Mega Man X review (SNES) Reviewed on February 24, 2003 Before I begin, a haiku:
	Super Ghouls 'N Ghosts review (SNES) Reviewed on February 23, 2003 You know, you might get the impression that I’m not a feminist’s best friend from the games I commonly review. Nothing could be further from the truth; after all, it’s obvious a man like me knows exactly what a lady wants. Still, with the common female flesh orgies I review, I think it’s about time I give a little bit back. Ladies, just for you, I’m going to review Super Ghouls and Ghost, which features the sexiest, shadiest, Britishiest man ever seen in a video game.
	Xena: Warrior Princess review (PSX) Reviewed on February 18, 2003 From mediocre graphics and sound to a camera that behaves like it has just drank 10 shots of gin, this is by all accounts a bad game. What saves me from tossing it aside as another flawed and forgettable action title is that Xena: Warrior Princess is…well…Xena. By that I don’t mean *foaming at the mouth like a crazed fangirl* “ooh Xena’s so cool and whatever has Xena in it is also cool.” No. What I mean is that despite questionable gameplay, the developers were able to faithfully recreate the TV...
	Zombie Nation review (NES) Reviewed on February 18, 2003 Cheesy B-quality science fiction movies apparently have their occasional videogame equivalents. Case in point: Zombie Nation, a game in which you play a leering severed head and battle American citizens who have been turned into zombies by a malevolent alien named Darc Seed.
	Ice Age review (GBA) Reviewed on February 18, 2003 Perhaps not since E.V.O. has there been another game that lets you play as an elephant. (Or to be specific, since Ice Age takes place in the prehistoric era, a mammoth.) Ice Age is based on the computer-animated movie of the same name, in which a mammoth, sloth and sabre-tooth tiger make a long journey to return a lost human baby to its family.
	Wild Snake review (SNES) Reviewed on February 18, 2003 Here’s something for anyone who was grossed out by that pit of writhing snakes in the Indiana Jones movie. Wild Snake is a game that vaguely follows the falling-block puzzle-game format, but a more accurate label would be slithering-reptile format. You see, these snakes are incredibly realistic. They don’t just drop from the top of the screen like boring blocks. Their twisty bodies wriggle down head-first, struggling against you and the controller all the way. The idea is to wrangle the snake o...
	Panzer Dragoon Orta review (XBX) Reviewed on February 18, 2003 Summary: You're a chick named Orta, and you've been inprisoned your entire life. You don't know who you are, why you've been inprisoned, or why they let you keep your scarf in jail. Then, one day, the city in which your prison is is attacked by a group of ravenously ugly dragons. Luckily, puff the friendly (yet equally ugly) dragon is there to save you. The rest of the story is kind of irrelevent, yet provides a good backdrop to the action. Dragons are cool.
	Super Solvers: Treasure Cove review (PC) Reviewed on February 12, 2003 After Treasure Mountain, Outnumbered, Mathstorm, and Ancient Empires the Learning Company wanted to put up one last classic before vanishing from the scene. That game was Treasure Cove, which was basically the same as Treasure Mountain and Mathstorm, but underwater. This game was nearly as addictive as its predeccesor, and helped teach that same early education, although at the time I got this game it was very simple (seeing I was about 7, and the questions are made for like 5 year olds).
	Avoid the Noid review (PC) Reviewed on February 09, 2003 Dominos wanted to advertise their pizza in more than just commercials on television, or in newspaper aids. Instead they created a classic videogame for the old PC, in which you would have to avoid the noid. A Noid was this little pink bunny like creature that would try to keep you from delivering your pizza to the 200+ story building (I have no clue how long this game actually went for). It was fun and addictive, and while it really didn't hook me into Dominos pizza I did love the game.
	Progress Quest review (PC) Reviewed on February 08, 2003 Progress Quest is funny as hell. It’s a mockup of role playing games and their fans, and it succeeds wonderfully at this point. You download it, and run it, and that’s it. It sits on your taskbar and goes through a role playing game for you while you do, well, whatever else you might want to do. A text window describes what you’re doing, like slaying a pillow monster with a dirty halibut, but no interaction is needed on your part past entering in your name and picking from some farcic...
	Devil May Cry review (PS2) Reviewed on February 08, 2003 You know Resident Evil 2.
	Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty review (PS2) Reviewed on February 08, 2003 Rain pouring down, cars driving at a frightful speed in spite of the slippery bridge…It's one of those days where all you can think about is to return home and take a nice nap while thunder and lightning lets loose around you. Your decision is already taken; you just don't feel like doing something else…
	Metal Gear Solid review (PSX) Reviewed on February 08, 2003 -----------------------------
	Sonic 3D Blast review (GEN) Reviewed on February 07, 2003
	Castlevania: Bloodlines review (GEN) Reviewed on February 07, 2003 For once, Lord Dracula, sent to the blazes of Hell by another pawn bestowed by the Belmont blood, hasn't come back through means beyond human comprehension. Rather, he is preparing to make a baneful reappearance through the aid of Countess Elizabeth Bartley, who is willing to sacrifice humanity for her startling uncle. On the verge of being resurrected, Dracula represents a menace to humanity, a plague that will in time reduce it to mere puppets. The setting is appropriate; ...
	Dynasty Warriors 3 review (PS2) Reviewed on February 07, 2003 -----------------------------
	Super Mario Sunshine review (GCN) Reviewed on February 04, 2003 Are We Disappointed Yet? A release like that of Super Mario Sunshine brings with it some pretty high expectations. The last time Nintendo gave us a Mario game (and a rushed one at that), it was so spectacular that most would wonder if it could be surpassed. At the same time, even those filled with doubt must also be filled with anticipation and longing for another display of that spectacular genius. The rule of thumb seems to be that one shouldn’t approach any big-name ga...
	Metroid Fusion review (GBA) Reviewed on February 02, 2003 A Tear in this Old Man's Eye In my heyday - back when polygons stayed in geometry class where they belonged - the American entertainment industry first became host to what would become perhaps the most powerful symbiotic entity ever to come over from Japan - the Nintendo Entertainment System. It wasn’t long until everybody and his grandma owned one. But while most of the NES-owning kids cared more about Tecmo Super Bowl or Double Dribble, there was one enchanting game that spent ...
	J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings Volume 1 review (SNES) Reviewed on February 02, 2003 Peter Jackson’s film adaptations of The Lord of the Rings have earned well-deserved praise and respect from just about everyone except nit-picking Tolkien purists. However, some of us may remember the other LotR film, made in 1978 by Ralph Bakshi. This version was pretty much universally derided and despised by both critics and Tolkien fans alike. The Lord of the Rings: Volume 1 for the Super Nintendo is the videogame equivalent of the Bakshi movie. The other Lord of the Rings videogame.
	Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest review (SNES) Reviewed on January 31, 2003 RPG for Dummies

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