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Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Davis Cup Tennis (TurboGrafx-16)

Davis Cup Tennis review (TG16)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

In a genre primarily dominated by the kerfuffle that is American sports, Tennis has often been grossly overlooked and ignored. The excitement of a good hard game of grid-something-or-other has proven so alluring that classics such as the NES’s “Tennis” and the TG-16’s “Davis Cup Tennis” don’t get the recognition they deserve. If recreated correctly, a game of console Tennis is one of the greatest things in life, and Davis Cup Tennis has a lot of good things going for it.
kingbroccoli's avatar
Lion King (SNES)

Lion King review (SNES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

I have oft been mistaken for a lion. Who could blame the perpetrators though? It's perfectly understandable! With my flowing mane of golden hair, my animal-like voraciousness and my liking for the subtle tenderness of gazelle meat, I’m more lion than man. These characteristics would normally be enough to convince most people that a game such as The Lion King is right up my alley. For a virile, powerful man-killer like myself this little cartridge should be an absolute pushover! How wrong you all...
kingbroccoli's avatar
Rival Turf! (SNES)

Rival Turf! review (SNES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Hi. It's King Broccoli here, and as a king I have all kinds of women at my disposal. To me they're little more than temporary playthings (I'd never dream of using one more than once, how revolting), or decorative pieces that talk and spend too much. This lifestyle of mine offers me a little more copulation than the average man, and that might just explain why I find games like Rival Turf so utterly confusing.
kingbroccoli's avatar
Disney's Aladdin (SNES)

Disney's Aladdin review (SNES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

The blue genie lies dormant in his lamp. There is no sound. There is no movement. For decades – god knows how many – he has waited inside his lamp for a new owner, waited for freedom. Luckily for genie, that day has come!
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Super Mario 64 (Nintendo 64)

Super Mario 64 review (N64)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Ah, to be a plumber! To wake every morning, the sun swimming lazily through a cheery blue sky, and know that somewhere out there is a sticky brown blockage with your name on it! These lucky folks have the privilege of doing a job that the less fortunate of us would gladly do for free, and get paid exorbitant rates for that privilege! To be a plumber! To unclog! To tighten! To show alluring portions of one’s buttocks!
kingbroccoli's avatar
Pokemon Snap (Nintendo 64)

Pokemon Snap review (N64)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

My first foray into Pokemon Snap was intended as a stepping stone, a mere platform into the more fruitful pastime of photographing naked ladies. The Rasputin-like fellow who was to be my boss assured me as he handed over the sticky cartridge ''There's no better practice than snapping pictures of fuzzy, strange looking little things.'' My, how we laughed. I relished the feeling, for my mission was indeed a serious one, and there could be no laughter.
kingbroccoli's avatar
Wall Street Kid (NES)

Wall Street Kid review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Wall Street Kid is an intriguing little NES game that puts you in the shoes of one Mr. Benedict, a blonde haired, 20 something, hot-shot with a dazzling smile. It turns out that this Mr. Benedict had some kind of male relative, who also had the name Mr. Benedict, and an obscenely large collection of money. This relative has unfortunately passed away as the lawyer tells our hero (whos dazzling smile doesn't even flinch at the upsetting news) and he stands to collect $600 Billion dollars, of cours...
kingbroccoli's avatar
Totally Rad (NES)

Totally Rad review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Totally Rad is a ''gnarly'' little platformer that has quite a few RPGish options much in the style of Castlevania: Symphony Of The Night. It put you in the role of Jake, an up and coming magician who must face off against mysterious enemies who kidnap his girlfriend and her parents. With a few tips from your local magic man you must discover the power deep inside you and SAVE THE DAY! Sounds corny? Well it is....
kingbroccoli's avatar
Tetris (NES)

Tetris review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Playing Tetris for the first time can change a gamers life forever. Squaring off against those blocks is one of the magic moments of gaming. Play the game for half an hour and you can be hooked for life. The addictiveness that Tetris contains is almost scary, it's like a drug that you just can't get enough of. Turn this game off and you'll have falling blocks imprinted onto your eyelids, once it's taken a hold of your mind it'll never let go. Tetris is one of the greatest games of all time, if n...
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Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

Super Mario Bros. 3 review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

First up there was the absolute classic Super Mario Bros., it was a game that delighted NES owners here and NES owners there, it delighted pretty much everyone! The next game to pop out of course was Super Mario Bros. 2! It strayed off the path from everything normal and sane, giving the gamer a far more abstract look at all things Mario, despite all the quirkiness it was still a lot of fun. It would have been pretty silly to have just stopped there, so naturally Super Mario. Bros. 3 got a relea...
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Snake Rattle 'N Roll (NES)

Snake Rattle 'N Roll review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Snake Rattle 'n Roll is a fun little NES game that will leave most of you scratching your heads after playing it, this isn't because the game will give you head lice, it's because it's such a strange little game you'll question the sanity of those that developed it. You take the roll of a snake, actually it's just the head of a snake, and you must build up its tail, make it really heavy and then get out of the level you're in. There might be a story attached to this, but if there is I just don't...
kingbroccoli's avatar
RoboCop 2 (NES)

RoboCop 2 review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

I had high hopes for Robocop 2. Upon first encountering the cartridge – a bloodthirsty Robocop emblazoned on its front – images cascaded in front of my eyes. They were images of a sleek, titanium machine lunging onto the screen, chasing down enemies with fearful speed and filling them up to their eyeballs with lead. I would be this machine. I would be unstoppable.
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River City Ransom (NES)

River City Ransom review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

River City Ransom (given the rather masculine name of ''Street Gangs'' in Australia) is perhaps the most enjoyable NES game you'll ever play. At a quick glance it may appear to be your run of the mill, scroll this way and that way and beat up a person or two type of game, but it has a surprisingly large amount of depth to it. You can choose to play as either Alex or Ryan, they both fight the same and only look slightly different. It turns out that Ryan's girlfriend has been kidnapped by same bad...
kingbroccoli's avatar
Rampart (NES)

Rampart review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Rampart is a simple little NES game with only one objective given to you, shoot anything that belongs to your opponent! The game puts you in charge of a castle and a few cannons and lets you take it from there, the only problem is that everything is extremely repetitive, you'll find yourself doing the same things over and over (which is actually what you're doing) and getting bored in quite a big hurry. It's not the ideal way a person would want to spend their well-earned spare time.
kingbroccoli's avatar
Rainbow Islands (NES)

Rainbow Islands review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

A quick glance at Rainbow Islands and one could easily pass it off as a run-of-the-mill platformer, nothing out of the ordinary. However upon closer inspection the game lends itself to a higher train of thought, something with a little bit more substance. Indeed this harmless little title appears to be a heartfelt call by a software developing company who care about their planet, a cry for world peace! It’s not just about hoarding treasure and climbing level after level for personal benefit; a g...
kingbroccoli's avatar
Pinball (NES)

Pinball review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Pinball is a quaint little NES game that puts the player in control of a pinball machine. Start up this game and you'll be sent on an epic journey, one that includes flippers, an assortment of bouncy things, and of course something that all games should have........a cameo appearance by Mario himself! In this game you have a simple task of taking control of all sorts of extremeties which jut out from the sides of the pinball machine, stop the ball from escaping from your grips and accumulate as ...
kingbroccoli's avatar
Mario is Missing! (NES)

Mario is Missing! review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Mario is Missing is a fairly laborious game that plays much in the same vein as the enjoyable Carmen Sandiego series. Despite having Mario's name in the title, you do not get to control the roly-poly plumber at any stage of the game, this time you take control of Luigi (and Yoshi at times as well). Mario has been kidnapped (!) and it's up to Luigi to retrieve Mario, in addition to some landmarks from the capital cities from the world (but WHY?). What is to follow are many different kinds of shen...
kingbroccoli's avatar
The Incredible Crash Dummies (NES)

The Incredible Crash Dummies review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

This game was released at the peak of the crash test dummy hype (if you could call it that, perhaps a passing interest would best describe it). It combined some classic platforming gameplay and a dialogue laced with safety heavy remarks and horribly corny jokes. It had its flaws but there was nothing huge stopping it from being a decent play.
kingbroccoli's avatar
Arch Rivals (NES)

Arch Rivals review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Arch Rivals is an immensely enjoyable sports (basketball to be precise) game that was ported pretty well from the arcade game. Whilst it didn't offer the player much in the way of depth the real beauty lay in the sheer fun and mayhem of the whole thing, this game was the precursor for NBA Jam and is an absolute beauty to play. There's just nothing more satisfying than whacking an opponent in the back of the head and seeing him sprawled out only semi-conscious on the court...
kingbroccoli's avatar
Adventures in the Magic Kingdom (NES)

Adventures in the Magic Kingdom review (NES)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

It’s not every day that one gets the chance to visit Disneyland. The enchanting premise of a land filled with dizzying rides, tacky restaurants and harshly overpriced souvenirs is indeed the stuff that dreams are made of. I myself had long wished for this dream to be realised. So when a short, furry, big-eared man with a squeaky voice (the manager of Cash Converters) offered me his grey, plastic ticket to Disneyland, I jumped at the chance. Here was my chance to experience the kaleidoscopic worl...
kingbroccoli's avatar

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