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Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Ardy Lightfoot (SNES)

Ardy Lightfoot review (SNES)

Reviewed on June 19, 2004

It's not difficult to see why companies often make platformers starring cute mascots. After all, making a lovable talking animal is far more easier than making, say, a lovable angst-filled teenager. Mario, despite being an overweight plumber with approximately zero charisma, is nonetheless one of the most recognizable icons of video gaming. Platformers are also quite easy to develop; they may add new abilities or introduce new elements, but you could still get by perfectly with the run-and-jump ...
lurkeratlarge's avatar
Queen of Heart '98 (PC)

Queen of Heart '98 review (PC)

Reviewed on June 18, 2004

Watanabe Seisakujo is an interesting Japanese company. Obviously an impassioned collection of individuals, they seek to pay tribute to games that they admire. Apparently, some of those games are of an adult nature, as the group tends to borrow their favorite female characters to use in their own games… their own fighting games. Watanabe Seisakujo aren’t alone in their desire to see cute girls beat each other senseless, though, as all their creations have achieved at least cult-level recogniti...
woodhouse's avatar
DoDonPachi (Arcade)

DoDonPachi review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 18, 2004

What is DoDonPachi? If you answered ''a shooter,'' you are wrong. Go home, go directly home, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
snowdragon's avatar
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (PlayStation 2)

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 18, 2004

Have you ever gotten the urge to run over the old lady that decides to cross in front of you? How about beating up that wierd looking guy and stealing his money? Well, with the next installment of the Grand Theft Auto series, you can.
heroofthewinds's avatar
Heavy Barrel (NES)

Heavy Barrel review (NES)

Reviewed on June 17, 2004

The overhead run 'n gunner is a genre that never quite came to fruition on the console front. The pioneering Ikari Warriors series, despite having three separate outings, could not overcome the dreadful archetype that defines it. Guerilla War seemed to get everything right, only to turn around and commit an unpardonable sin - players would infinitely re-spawn upon death, so if they wanted a challenge, they would need to imagine their own handicap. Unfortunately, Heavy Barrel...
deathspork's avatar
CIMA: The Enemy (Game Boy Advance)

CIMA: The Enemy review (GBA)

Reviewed on June 17, 2004

He lurks the hallway, with a silent breath that if heard could draw daggers. He has no fear of a dark death, having seen his master brutally murdered by his laughing nemesis, the would-be destroyer of his people. What he waits for, is what will allow him to keep his promise. His honor, his pride, his life, his friends are all at stake.
yamishuryou's avatar
Ninja Gaiden (Xbox)

Ninja Gaiden review (XBX)

Reviewed on June 17, 2004

Introduction:
ender's avatar
Amagon (NES)

Amagon review (NES)

Reviewed on June 17, 2004

When Nintendo released Super Mario Brothers, a new age of video gaming began. Players controlled the cheerful plumber as he traveled on land, in caves, underwater and through castles in his quest to rescue a beautiful princess from the foul dragon Bowser — and loved every glorious second of entertainment that game provided.
overdrive's avatar
Wally Bear and the No Gang (NES)

Wally Bear and the No Gang review (NES)

Reviewed on June 15, 2004

Few games invite self-parody from first impressions as readily as Wally Bear and the NO Gang. You may have bad or frustrating games, such as Hydlide or Action 52, didactic efforts with a legitimate streak of imagination such as Bible Adventures, or funny ones aware they're a bit simple. But a bear on his skateboard, out to convince other animals with lower self-esteem(their words) that drugs and gangs are a bad idea seems naive. Or perhaps it's just trying to market itself to naive types. In oth...
aschultz's avatar
Serious Sam:  The First Encounter (PC)

Serious Sam: The First Encounter review (PC)

Reviewed on June 14, 2004

I can honestly say that only a few things have ever actually hurt my brain. One thing that I remember as a brain-hurter was when my friend Chris and I took apart this really old TV and broke a tube inside it that was labeled as dangerous. Suffice to say, I have worn glasses ever since. Another thing that made my brain hurt was Chemistry. Never knew what was going on in there, but after an hour and a half of learning it, my brain felt like it got sucker-punched by Muhammad Ali. The only thing els...
asherdeus's avatar
Myst (Jaguar CD)

Myst review (JCD)

Reviewed on June 14, 2004

If you've ever heard someone scrutinizing Myst, you've probably witnessed some loser running to its defense with an inane comment along these lines: “Well, it's really good for what it is.” What is Myst exactly? I'll synopsize the whole game for you: You take a pointer and you click around while collecting clues. Is there something revolutionary and pioneering that I am missing here? Call me ignorant, even go to the extent of calling me a condescending fool, but I'm lost on why people find this ...
sclemmons's avatar
Sentimental Shooting (PC)

Sentimental Shooting review (PC)

Reviewed on June 14, 2004

Your concentration wavers as her smile catches your eye. What was supposed to be a quick glance turns into a second-long stare as you survey her girlish face and fine figure. Try to forget her vulnerable position, that in a few more seconds her shirt will explode and only her lingerie will remain. The vibrant music only further detaches you from the battle, obscuring the sound of enemy fire. You only hear a dull explosion, switching your focus only to see your ship disintegrate and the words ''G...
woodhouse's avatar
Metal Slug 3 (Xbox)

Metal Slug 3 review (XBX)

Reviewed on June 13, 2004

Before I begin this review, you should know that I have never played a Metal Slug game in my life. Ever. Metal Slug evaded me on the Saturn since I only recently modded mine, and both Metal Slugs for the PlayStation were said to be abysmal ports. Then Metal Slug 3, considered by fans to be the apex of the series, was announced for the X-Box. This piqued my interest, as the Metal Slug games have always been compared to Konami's Contra series. And god damn...
bluberry's avatar
Bubble Bath Babes (NES)

Bubble Bath Babes review (NES)

Reviewed on June 11, 2004

Bubble Bath Babes(BBB) is well-known in hard-core NES gamer circles for featuring frontal nudity. It's a puzzle game featuring bubble tetrads that rise up into a formation, and if you get a clump of four or more connected bubbles of the same color, they disappear. After several plays, I found the generic nude woman very annoying because she blocked my view of the piece I needed to rotate and quickly place in the right spot. Her friends who disrobe as you get further through a level aren't...
aschultz's avatar
Elemental Master (Genesis)

Elemental Master review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 10, 2004

The most endearing quality of Elemental Master is apparent before the controller is even touched. It begins with a pitch-black sky against a low lying blanket of fog, tousled only by the sharp hill tops jutting through, as a single, ever-escalating note lends its intensity to the dreary, oppressive scene. Sheet lightning pierces the darkness, exposing a previously unseen thunderhead. The flashing continues, each pulse giving more form to the cirrus structure, until finally, it is revealed...
deathspork's avatar
Lufia & The Fortress of Doom (SNES)

Lufia & The Fortress of Doom review (SNES)

Reviewed on June 10, 2004

Out of nowhere there appeared a floating island. Four superhuman beings of evil claimed it as their domain. Wielding the powers of Destruction, Chaos, Death, and Terror, they sought to throw the earth into darkness. The Sinistrals, they were called; armies mustered against them, nations allied to save the world from their iron grasp. And yet none succeeded. Finally, four of the world's most renowned warriors were called on to bring down the island. Lead by Maxim, a red-haired warrior wielding th...
lurkeratlarge's avatar
Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES)

Super Mario Bros. 2 review (NES)

Reviewed on June 10, 2004

You probably know the story now. What we Americans know as Super Mario Bros. 2 - that weird, quirky platformer no one quite knew what to make of back then - was never meant to be a Mario game. It is the illegitimate child of Doki Doki Panic, an odd Japanese platformer, and the Mario universe. Fearful that the frightfully difficult Japanese SMB2 will turn away American gamers, Nintendo had grabbed this little game, forcibly inserted Mario and friends, and released it upon unwitting America...
lurkeratlarge's avatar
Silent Hill 2 (PlayStation 2)

Silent Hill 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 09, 2004

I'll be the first to admit that I'm far from unshakable when it comes to horror games. Many of them simply scare me senseless, to the point where I can't even bring myself to pick up the controller when it's dark. The Silent Hill series, with its static-laden ambiance and creepily orchestrated apparitions, is probably chief among them. It's stretched a number of games, ranging from the first where you had to track down your daughter, to the third which basically flip-flopped the roles. Th...
sapharos's avatar
Alundra (PlayStation)

Alundra review (PSX)

Reviewed on June 09, 2004

On the surface, things seemed pretty good in the regions surrounding the quaint village of Inoa. Sure, the fell demon Melzas had been a threat, but he was now trapped in a submerged castle and seemingly out of the picture.
overdrive's avatar
Metroid II: Return of Samus (Game Boy)

Metroid II: Return of Samus review (GB)

Reviewed on June 08, 2004

Something moved. What was that noise? Is something coming? I don't feel too safe walking down this dank corridor ..... wait, how many missiles do I have? Do I have enough? I haven't found a missile supplement in a while ..... should I keep going? Will a Metroid pop out at me? Do I really have enough missiles? Is it worth it to run back to the ship and recharge, or should I just blast a few enemies and hope for a few refills? What if oh God a Metroid AHHHHHH.......
snowdragon's avatar

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