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Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Wally Bear and the No Gang (NES)

Wally Bear and the No Gang review (NES)

Reviewed on June 15, 2004

Few games invite self-parody from first impressions as readily as Wally Bear and the NO Gang. You may have bad or frustrating games, such as Hydlide or Action 52, didactic efforts with a legitimate streak of imagination such as Bible Adventures, or funny ones aware they're a bit simple. But a bear on his skateboard, out to convince other animals with lower self-esteem(their words) that drugs and gangs are a bad idea seems naive. Or perhaps it's just trying to market itself to naive types. In oth...
aschultz's avatar
Serious Sam:  The First Encounter (PC)

Serious Sam: The First Encounter review (PC)

Reviewed on June 14, 2004

I can honestly say that only a few things have ever actually hurt my brain. One thing that I remember as a brain-hurter was when my friend Chris and I took apart this really old TV and broke a tube inside it that was labeled as dangerous. Suffice to say, I have worn glasses ever since. Another thing that made my brain hurt was Chemistry. Never knew what was going on in there, but after an hour and a half of learning it, my brain felt like it got sucker-punched by Muhammad Ali. The only thing els...
asherdeus's avatar
Myst (Jaguar CD)

Myst review (JCD)

Reviewed on June 14, 2004

If you've ever heard someone scrutinizing Myst, you've probably witnessed some loser running to its defense with an inane comment along these lines: “Well, it's really good for what it is.” What is Myst exactly? I'll synopsize the whole game for you: You take a pointer and you click around while collecting clues. Is there something revolutionary and pioneering that I am missing here? Call me ignorant, even go to the extent of calling me a condescending fool, but I'm lost on why people find this ...
sclemmons's avatar
Sentimental Shooting (PC)

Sentimental Shooting review (PC)

Reviewed on June 14, 2004

Your concentration wavers as her smile catches your eye. What was supposed to be a quick glance turns into a second-long stare as you survey her girlish face and fine figure. Try to forget her vulnerable position, that in a few more seconds her shirt will explode and only her lingerie will remain. The vibrant music only further detaches you from the battle, obscuring the sound of enemy fire. You only hear a dull explosion, switching your focus only to see your ship disintegrate and the words ''G...
woodhouse's avatar
Metal Slug 3 (Xbox)

Metal Slug 3 review (XBX)

Reviewed on June 13, 2004

Before I begin this review, you should know that I have never played a Metal Slug game in my life. Ever. Metal Slug evaded me on the Saturn since I only recently modded mine, and both Metal Slugs for the PlayStation were said to be abysmal ports. Then Metal Slug 3, considered by fans to be the apex of the series, was announced for the X-Box. This piqued my interest, as the Metal Slug games have always been compared to Konami's Contra series. And god damn...
bluberry's avatar
Bubble Bath Babes (NES)

Bubble Bath Babes review (NES)

Reviewed on June 11, 2004

Bubble Bath Babes(BBB) is well-known in hard-core NES gamer circles for featuring frontal nudity. It's a puzzle game featuring bubble tetrads that rise up into a formation, and if you get a clump of four or more connected bubbles of the same color, they disappear. After several plays, I found the generic nude woman very annoying because she blocked my view of the piece I needed to rotate and quickly place in the right spot. Her friends who disrobe as you get further through a level aren't...
aschultz's avatar
Elemental Master (Genesis)

Elemental Master review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 10, 2004

The most endearing quality of Elemental Master is apparent before the controller is even touched. It begins with a pitch-black sky against a low lying blanket of fog, tousled only by the sharp hill tops jutting through, as a single, ever-escalating note lends its intensity to the dreary, oppressive scene. Sheet lightning pierces the darkness, exposing a previously unseen thunderhead. The flashing continues, each pulse giving more form to the cirrus structure, until finally, it is revealed...
deathspork's avatar
Lufia & The Fortress of Doom (SNES)

Lufia & The Fortress of Doom review (SNES)

Reviewed on June 10, 2004

Out of nowhere there appeared a floating island. Four superhuman beings of evil claimed it as their domain. Wielding the powers of Destruction, Chaos, Death, and Terror, they sought to throw the earth into darkness. The Sinistrals, they were called; armies mustered against them, nations allied to save the world from their iron grasp. And yet none succeeded. Finally, four of the world's most renowned warriors were called on to bring down the island. Lead by Maxim, a red-haired warrior wielding th...
lurkeratlarge's avatar
Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES)

Super Mario Bros. 2 review (NES)

Reviewed on June 10, 2004

You probably know the story now. What we Americans know as Super Mario Bros. 2 - that weird, quirky platformer no one quite knew what to make of back then - was never meant to be a Mario game. It is the illegitimate child of Doki Doki Panic, an odd Japanese platformer, and the Mario universe. Fearful that the frightfully difficult Japanese SMB2 will turn away American gamers, Nintendo had grabbed this little game, forcibly inserted Mario and friends, and released it upon unwitting America...
lurkeratlarge's avatar
Silent Hill 2 (PlayStation 2)

Silent Hill 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 09, 2004

I'll be the first to admit that I'm far from unshakable when it comes to horror games. Many of them simply scare me senseless, to the point where I can't even bring myself to pick up the controller when it's dark. The Silent Hill series, with its static-laden ambiance and creepily orchestrated apparitions, is probably chief among them. It's stretched a number of games, ranging from the first where you had to track down your daughter, to the third which basically flip-flopped the roles. Th...
sapharos's avatar
Alundra (PlayStation)

Alundra review (PSX)

Reviewed on June 09, 2004

On the surface, things seemed pretty good in the regions surrounding the quaint village of Inoa. Sure, the fell demon Melzas had been a threat, but he was now trapped in a submerged castle and seemingly out of the picture.
overdrive's avatar
Metroid II: Return of Samus (Game Boy)

Metroid II: Return of Samus review (GB)

Reviewed on June 08, 2004

Something moved. What was that noise? Is something coming? I don't feel too safe walking down this dank corridor ..... wait, how many missiles do I have? Do I have enough? I haven't found a missile supplement in a while ..... should I keep going? Will a Metroid pop out at me? Do I really have enough missiles? Is it worth it to run back to the ship and recharge, or should I just blast a few enemies and hope for a few refills? What if oh God a Metroid AHHHHHH.......
snowdragon's avatar
Street Fighter 2010 (NES)

Street Fighter 2010 review (NES)

Reviewed on June 08, 2004

I'd hate to be a Ken fan. Capcom can wedge new chapters into the Street Fighter timeline all it wants, but there can be no reversing the series' ultimate conclusion. When the subject of best character comes up among enthusiasts, and the Ken crowd starts in with legends of fire-laced uppercuts, the other side has a kill-all in their arsenal; a point of argument so strong that once this bomb has been unloaded, the Ken fans will have no choice but to be quiet. In the future, Ken Masters will sport ...
deathspork's avatar
P.N.03 (GameCube)

P.N.03 review (GCN)

Reviewed on June 07, 2004

It must be interesting to work for Capcom. Imagine, say, you were serving lunch. Chances are you get paid more for serving multiple customers at a time. Throw the customers their bread roll, and get bonus style points if you can bounce it off their heads. Perhaps the accounts department is in on the act. Mere double-entry book-keeping in Capcom offices is probably frowned upon. Enter things in 5 ledgers and earn extra pay! Or something like that.
cheekylee's avatar
Resident Evil 3: Nemesis (GameCube)

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis review (GCN)

Reviewed on June 04, 2004

As a quality series presses on from sequel to sequel, one of two things tend to happen. Either the series reaches stagnation, each installment a regurgitation of past success, or the series builds an elaborate foundation for future innovation and diversification. To Capcom's credit and fans' delight, Resident Evil falls into the latter type, and the third of the series – Nemesis – introduces its own fresh concept (later pilfered by Nintendo in Metroid Fusion and by Capcom themsel...
lilica's avatar
Disney's Aladdin (Genesis)

Disney's Aladdin review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 03, 2004

Aladdin, at least in this Genesis incarnation, is well-known for being splendidly animated, for recalling the film marvelously, and for being a wholehearted sensory delight. Now surely the film was great -- many of my generation feel a twinge of nostalgia at the mere mention of the grandstanding blue Genie or the audacious mischief of Jafar. Our hearts skip a beat when you mention the touching tableau of the starveling street urchin canoodling with the gorgeous princess upon his magic car...
denouement's avatar
Mr. Driller (Dreamcast)

Mr. Driller review (DC)

Reviewed on June 02, 2004

I never liked to play with plain blocks as a kid, and I wasn't terribly destructive either, but knock me over if I don't find joy in the ways game developers allow the populace to bash endless computerized blocks together and make them vanish. Enter Mr. Driller, a cute little potholder-faced fellow that lets you do this in several ways and scenarios. But it's his first effort, so he doesn't have the concept of fun down pat, even though he looks like he could.
aschultz's avatar
Rygar (NES)

Rygar review (NES)

Reviewed on June 02, 2004

The fine (if somewhat barren) land of Argool had seen better days. The horrid and demonic Ligar, hidden within a floating castle, had sent his army of beasts and monsters throughout the land to steal hope from the general populace. Their only hope — the reanimated body of a valiant warrior.
overdrive's avatar
Hellfire (Genesis)

Hellfire review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 01, 2004

An enormous, glistening beam of amplified power decimating helpless henchmen after henchmen aptly named “Hellfire” wrecks and ravages all who stands in its way. At this point in your life, nothing can go wrong; you’re obliterating useless pawn after useless pawn with this catastrophic beam. But then suddenly, your ship is torn into bits of intergalactic debris by nothing more than a lone bullet. An abrupt, feral rage takes complete control and you end up breaking your controller (or keyboard) be...
sclemmons's avatar
Ceiling Zero (Apple II)

Ceiling Zero review (APP2)

Reviewed on June 01, 2004

As I became slowly disenchanted with Space Invaders, I looked to the Apple for new variants. I just wanted to shoot things up, which was good, because many early Apple games offered nothing more. Ceiling Zero(CZ) had lots of shooting and, worse yet, a flowerpot-shaped boss ship that went FWEEE to start things off. I suppose there was no shortage of shooters that trapped you unfairly with random incidents, but when I was young, that didn't bother me. I wasn’t good enough for that to be a factor.
aschultz's avatar

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