Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Contact review (DS) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 Here’s what Contact’s box guarantees you won’t find in the game: A dull moment; normalcy; a guy with “spikey” hair and/or amnesia; dramatic monologues; the same battles you’ve been fighting since the 16-bit era.
	Pariah review (XBX) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 Pariah is a bad first-person shooter that no one should be forced to play. It starts out boring and only manages to get mindless, repetitive, dull, and tedious. Between complex controls, an unexplained story, flat characters, poor graphics, a sloppy frame-rate, buggy sounds, and boring gameplay there is no enjoyment found in this tepid and monotonous adventure. It manages to hit every shooter cliché and never creates any uniqueness or memorable moments. By the time you end the second level or fi...
	Silver Surfer review (NES) Reviewed on August 01, 2007 The first thing you’ll notice about Silver Surfer is how awesome the music is. Most of my experience with this game has been on the pause screen in the first level listening to the soundtrack. This game embraces the NES’ limited sound capabilities; it’s like a techno chiptune remix before techno chiptune remixes existed. The drum samples are the most authentic you’ll hear on the NES. The melodies are catchy as all hell. These tunes are among the best on the system. Seriously. Obtain a copy of th...
	Barney's Hide and Seek review (GEN) Reviewed on July 31, 2007 Barney is enough to convince most people that dinosaurs went extinct for a very good reason. This pacifistic mass of purple and green foam was invented solely to entertain developing children not yet sophisticated enough to speak or eat with a closed mouth. We were all once like that, but even now I can recall never being inclined towards this goofy-voiced Tyrannosaurus Rex bursting with love, even at an age when one isn't expected to have discriminating tastes. My Kindergarten classmates...
	Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix review (WII) Reviewed on July 31, 2007 EA have produced all of the Harry Potter movie tie-in videogames to date. In the same space of time in which J. K. Rowling gave us seven novels using one trusted old technology – that of the printed word – EA gave us five videogames spanning three generations of increasingly powerful gaming consoles. And they've still managed to make the same darn game on at least three of those occasions, or so mutters my inner cynic. Yet this doesn't really matter. The EA Potter games are remarkably consistent...
	The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past review (SNES) Reviewed on July 28, 2007 Forget the rain, forget trying to determine if Link is a stumpy elf or a cross-eyed, inbred troll, forget the much-argued cosmetics. Just... let them go. Focus on Link to the Past as it is; a mediocre game.
	Rampage: World Tour review (N64) Reviewed on July 28, 2007 There's a commonly held belief that at least ninety percent of the people who have played Rampage don't have the slightest clue what the story of it is. Most don't understand why they are controlling a giant lizard or monkey or werewolf, and few comprehend why on earth they are destroying popular cities and eating poor, innocent, humans. For most of my gaming life, I was one of these people. Blissfully unaware of why I was doing it, I was killing and destroying left and right. Regretless,...
	Hitman: Blood Money review (X360) Reviewed on July 25, 2007 Hitman: Blood Money would be the perfect Hitman game if it actually made you live up to the series' name. Mass murder is unsatisfying but easy: fire a shot up into the air and then go ballistic as every single living (if not intelligent) being on the map strolls right into your crosshairs, laughing off any return fire that barely chips away at your charitable health bar. Wiping out an entire cruise ship should be impossible, not impossibly tedious, and that the filthy money you're whacking folks...
	Medal of Honor: Frontline review (PS2) Reviewed on July 25, 2007 For the love of Goebbels, EA, I get it already. Saving Private Ryan was a milestone in film. This does not make it a template for all your subsequent World War II games to follow to the letter. What else should we attribute the big, loud, overlong battle sequences to, if not the defining vision of WWII for this generation? The influence of popular cinema on the Medal of Honor developers is essentially helping to ruin a franchise that was once so full of promise, any original ideas ...
	Advent Rising review (XBX) Reviewed on July 25, 2007 The first time I booted up Advent Rising, the game crashed while the Majesco logo was being displayed.
	Medal of Honor Underground review (PSX) Reviewed on July 25, 2007 May 1940. Hitler has moved his Nazi war machine into France after a hasty surrender. Flanked by Goebbels, they watch gleefully as a formation of SS goose-steps down the Champs-Élysées. The Arc de Triomphe looms in the background. Standing for a photo opportunity, the Nazi leaders pose before the Eiffel Tower. Surely this black-and-white film will motivate troops fighting abroad, poised to lunge into the vast Eastern Front. The Thir...
	Phantasy Star II review (GEN) Reviewed on July 24, 2007 To live a life full of regret is a regret itself. No man understands this more than the twenty year old Rolf Landale, the protagonist of our story. At first glance you may pass him off as a generic RPG hero, with his blue hair, determined expression, mastery of swords and do-gooder attitude. However, you would be quite mistaken to simply pass him off as such.
	WarioWare: Smooth Moves review (WII) Reviewed on July 24, 2007 Another Nintendo console, another WarioWare collection of silly, crazy, zany, madcap, way out, off the wall and wild microgames. This time, Wario and his gang of silly, crazy, zany, madcap, way out, off the wall and wild characters have a new toy to play with: the wii-mote. What does this new-fangled device have in store for us? Are the microgames as charmingly addictive as they were in the four prequels that came before? Does Wario finally wii-n?
	The Horde review (SAT) Reviewed on July 23, 2007 Do The Horde next -- that won't get a 7!
	Oregon Trail review (APP2) Reviewed on July 23, 2007 You’re less than a day out of Independence, Missouri, and you’ve already got a problem. Less than a hundred feet away from you, a massive river separates you from the vast expanse of the American frontier. The midmorning sun is reflecting off the frothy waves, a vision of the beauty and natural splendor that awaits you on your journey. Despite such appearances, however, this river can spell your utter doom. You’ve got a few options. You can try to ford the river, forcing the few wagons in your p...
	Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship 2007 review (DS) Reviewed on July 22, 2007 randomnoob1284, says "any1 in hear play yu-gi-oh?"
	Super Smash Bros. Melee review (GCN) Reviewed on July 20, 2007 I thought I'd begin by mentioning that I really ripped into two player competitive matches with my best friend's Autistic brother. Through this, I came to see this game for what it really is.
	Fable: The Lost Chapters review (XBX) Reviewed on July 19, 2007 Fable: The Lost Chapters is a re-release of the original RPG to hit the Xbox. The original's rushed development led to the game being unfinished and extremely short. The approximate 33% added content does a lot to lengthen the game; it adds a total of about five hours of game-play. The much boasted about additional content is a small selection of new armor and weapons, new tattoos, two new spells, and an entirely new part of Albion for you to explore. The new area is one new town and it's outski...
	Scurge: Hive review (DS) Reviewed on July 18, 2007 You know her type – she’s an intergalactic bounty hunter. Working for a futuristic space federation, she scours the universe battling evil through countless attempts to restore peace and justice to our existence. Donning a unique spacesuit and sporting all manner of lasers and explosives, she’s equipped to handle just about anything, and if there’s an alien infestation or virus outbreak that must be dealt with, you know who to call.
	.hack Part 1: Infection review (PS2) Reviewed on July 18, 2007 The following is a completely true story.

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