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Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Pick Me, Honey! (PC)

Pick Me, Honey! review (PC)

Reviewed on July 04, 2005

The harem route has become a standard in the repertoire of H games. These raucous paths, where all pretenses are dropped in favor of uninhibited orgies, are now the de facto reward for reading the multitude of monogamous threads to completion. Pick Me, Honey! teases about reversing that equation, providing the protagonist with a cadre of concubines from the very beginning.
woodhouse's avatar
Shining Tears (PlayStation 2)

Shining Tears review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 04, 2005

From the original Shining in the Darkness to the mystical yet inconclusive Shining Force III, I’ve always been a die-hard fan of one of Sega’s most prominent RPG series. And while I could mutter eloquent praise for their latest installment—Shining Tears—it would only be from a “fan boy” standpoint. That and I don’t want to be sued by countless people who read this review, spend the money to buy it and find out what a jumbled mess it really is. I didn’t absolutely hate the ga...
True's avatar
Dig Dug (NES)

Dig Dug review (NES)

Reviewed on July 02, 2005

How would you feel if your lovely garden was wasted by a bunch of alien bastards? Yeah, you would go into your shed, pick up your favourite bicycle pump and forcefully evict the little cretins from your backyard paradise. That’s precisely what has happened to Dig Dug, the misplaced spaceman (He really does look like an astronaut!). Without a thought for his personal safety, he goes down on a digging expedition to pump these invaders bodies full of air and clean his garden from these alien scum...
goldenvortex's avatar
Burnout 3: Takedown (PlayStation 2)

Burnout 3: Takedown review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 30, 2005

Watch someone who’s played a few videogames—newcomers to the medium don't count. Maybe your little brother enjoying the latest shitty licensed superhero disc? I guess it doesn’t matter. My point is this: most of the time, no matter how intense the action on screen, no matter how much your brother may be enjoying himself, he’ll probably be slowly jiggling the thumbstick, methodically pressing a buttons or two, his eyes unblinking but glazed over.
careless_whisper's avatar
Bahamut Lagoon (SNES)

Bahamut Lagoon review (SNES)

Reviewed on June 30, 2005

A year or two ago, I finally got the opportunity to lay my hands on Square’s epic turn-based strategy game, Bahamut Lagoon. As a big fan of that company’s SNES stuff, I booted it up, KNOWING I was about to play a game I’d consider a classic for the rest of my life. After breezing through a couple of the introductory battles, I was pumped — prepared to play through the entire quest non-stop. It was perfect!
overdrive's avatar
Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana (PlayStation 2)

Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 30, 2005

This review will cover both the US NTSC and JPN NTSC releases of Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana and Iris no Atelier: Eternal Mana, respectively. Published by Nippon Ichi yet developed by Gust, Atelier Iris has a distinct feeling from other Nippon Ichi titles but heavily resembles other "Atelier" titles from Gust. The main attraction of this game and its kin is the Synthesis system employed for items, weaponry, and Mana. All the fundamentals of a basic role-playing game are present: traditional tu...
masamune167's avatar
Area 51 (Xbox)

Area 51 review (XBX)

Reviewed on June 29, 2005

Yes, the infamous Area-51, the government’s most secure base. Conquering its myriad mysteries is just one mission you’ll be prompted to take on. You are Ethan Cole, a member of the Army’s Hazmat team. A virus is running rampant and has already vanquished the original Hazmat Team Delta. You’ll be inflicting revenge and satiating that inquisitive nature in yourself all throughout this game. Buckle up; Area-51 is a thrill ride that presents numerous obstacles and joys for any FPS enthusiast.
mrmiyamoto's avatar
Valis III (Genesis)

Valis III review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 28, 2005

Valis III showed a lot of promise when I first turned on the Genesis: the intro was pretty neat, not only showing King GLAMES and plans to take over Dreamland and the Human World, but a dramatic recap of the last two games. It was a long ass intro, which featured an unintentionally funny moment ("Dreamland and the Human world are in danger!! Cheer up, Yuko!!"), but it got you pumped up for the game ahead, making you want to take control of Yuko, Warrior of Valis, and start kicking some as...
pickhut's avatar
Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening (PlayStation 2)

Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 27, 2005

"Is this a return to form? Is this is a good Devil May Cry game?" These are the questions you want answered, right? If you're out of the loop, here's the short story: Devil May Cry rocked. Devil May Cry 2 sucked. Is the third installment more like the former game or the latter? I think it’s not so much like either. Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening is worth your money, your sweat and your tears, but it sure isn't a second coming of its massively popular and influential ancestor. Devil Ma...
careless_whisper's avatar
Area 51 (PlayStation 2)

Area 51 review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 27, 2005

When you think of Aliens you think of little green things that like to stick things up your (insert bad word here). Well that is where YOU are wrong. First of all they aren't green, they're Gray. But...they still like to probe people. There have been many attempts to a great Area 51 game, and this time Midway topped all with their new release. Unlike the other Area 51 games you may come across, this one actually has an attempt to a story, great graphics engine and let's not look past the fact of...
alucard517's avatar
Barney's Hide and Seek (Genesis)

Barney's Hide and Seek review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 24, 2005

Don’t look at me like that.
goldenvortex's avatar
Hogs of War (PlayStation)

Hogs of War review (PSX)

Reviewed on June 24, 2005

I can’t focus. I can barely muster up enough energy to sit in a chair. My eyes are on fire, my fingers blistered and my answering machine is full because I don’t have time to even pick up the phone. It’s ugly over here. But war is ugly and I’m at war. The sound of swine screaming in the background pierces my mind. The grenades shock me out of sleep like a nuclear alarm clock. The crimson has long turned the ground to mud, leaving it soft enough for the carcasses to seep into their hollow, honor-...
True's avatar
Final Fight 2 (SNES)

Final Fight 2 review (SNES)

Reviewed on June 23, 2005

Let’s face it, Capcom’s SNES port of masterful brawler Final Fight was a bit of a disappointment. Not only were fans of the original were “treated” to simpler fights, with no more than three foes on screen at once, but also to some surprising omissions. Gone were one complete level of the arcade game, two-player simultaneous play AND super-cool character Guy. Sure, the game still had the ultra-awesome Final Fight vibe, but a deaf, dumb and blind man could tell something important w...
overdrive's avatar
Shenmue II (Xbox)

Shenmue II review (XBX)

Reviewed on June 23, 2005

Young Ryo Hazuki’s life was smashed by the sudden arrival of an uninvited guest. Dressed in dark green Chinese clothes, the mysterious Lan Di waltzed into Ryo’s family home and used a strange martial art to murder his father. Proving to be no match for this man, Ryo was utterly wasted in one strike and watched in agony as the mysterious man walked away with an odd trinket, the Dragon Mirror. Something that Ryo’s father had wanted to hide from the cold and dark ambitions of Lan Di. After watch...
goldenvortex's avatar
Black/Matrix 2 (PlayStation 2)

Black/Matrix 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 23, 2005

The original Black Matrix was a great game in each of it's forms, whether you played it on Sega Saturn, PSX, Dreamcast, or even on the Gameboy Advance. It wasn't anything revolutionary as far as turn-based strategy RPGs went, but the art style, storyline, characters, and unique setting garnered it attention it probably wouldn't have had otherwise. It's tale of angels vs devils was strongly and violently portrayed with not a single polygon to mar it's beautiful 2D presentation; not one lifeless...
nuts4cowboybutts's avatar
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (PlayStation 2)

Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 22, 2005

I find it ironic that Metal Gear Solid is almost singlehandedly responsible for the wave of "stealth espionage action" that still holds sway today. The game's signature sneaking tactics are now commonplace occurrences in a staggering range of games, but Metal Gear Solid always wanted to be, first and foremost, an interactive action movie. I’m convinced the creeping around corners and crawling through ventilation shafts were only there to lend cinematic credence to the thoroughly Hollywood-blockb...
careless_whisper's avatar
Serious Sam (Xbox)

Serious Sam review (XBX)

Reviewed on June 22, 2005

How serious is Serious Sam, the straightforward first-person-shooter that drew in surprisingly big sales and comparisons to no less a game than Doom when it was released at bargain bin prices several years ago? Well, the action quotient is pretty fucking serious, but ultimately this is a undiluted mindless fun. An adventure self-consciously in the vein of the early 90s first-person-shooter giants, Serious Sam tops even Duke Nukem 3D with arrogant brio. It is the logical endgame of all the shoote...
careless_whisper's avatar
Metal Slug 4 & 5 (PlayStation 2)

Metal Slug 4 & 5 review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 22, 2005

You want Metal Slug 3, in the arcade or on your XBox or wherever. You probably don't want this two-for-one set. It's simple math: neither Metal Slug 4 nor 5 is half the game any of its three predecessors are. Old, two-dimensional action games on new consoles at full price had better be damn good. They had better offer something that hasn't been done in generations past, something you as a gamer need to have. The eminently epic, inimitable Slug 3 is one thing—and by that I mean it's possibly the ...
careless_whisper's avatar
Final Fight (Arcade)

Final Fight review (ARC)

Reviewed on June 22, 2005

Mike Haggar probably won’t remind you of your town’s mayor. The head of Metro City’s government is, to be frank, a steroid-enhanced freak of nature whose idea of bringing law to the masses involves taking to the streets, getting his hands on each individual hooligan and beating the everloving life out of him or her.
overdrive's avatar
Chaos Legion (PlayStation 2)

Chaos Legion review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 18, 2005

Chaos Legion isn’t for the regular man. Regular men break down and cry in its mere presence; its difficulty is something to behold. Most gamers give up, throw the towel in and scratch off Chaos Legion as just another lame brawler. Why not? Hordes of unfettered beasts assault us from so many sides it’s almost claustrophobic. They eat away at our health relentlessly with their feral attacks until we’re nothing more than a limp mass of torn flesh and tattered cloth. We’re left with nothing m...
sclemmons's avatar

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