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Review Archives (Reader Reviews)

You are currently looking through reader reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Iridion 3D (Game Boy Advance)

Iridion 3D review (GBA)

Reviewed on August 08, 2007

When Iridion 3D was released as part of the Game Boy Advance launch lineup in 2001, it was almost without question the greatest technical marvel the system had. The jump from GBC to GBA was such a great one that most developers didn’t know how to utilize it, yet this little space shooter, as boring and uninspired as it was, managed to pump out an amazing 3D engine unlike anything I’d ever seen on a handheld. It was the kind of game you’d buy alongside your system with the sole intention o...
Suskie's avatar
The Amazing Maze Game (Arcade)

The Amazing Maze Game review (ARC)

Reviewed on August 08, 2007

Let me start off by asking a simple question. Do you enjoy stabbing yourself in the eyes with pointy things? If you answered "No" to the above question, there's a great chance that the pain suffered in this game will not appeal to you. If you said "Yes", well then boy have I found a game for you: horrible eye pain, and no sharp objects required! See, the game is a plain, black backdrop with a tiny white maze in front. There is two entrances/exits in the maze: one for you and one for the computer...
iamtheprodigy's avatar
Barbie Game Girl (Game Boy)

Barbie Game Girl review (GB)

Reviewed on August 08, 2007

Firstly a disclaimer is warranted. Barbie Game Girl is not, strictly speaking, a game. See, the word "game" generally brings connotations of something which is fun and which you play, and with Barbie Game Girl you do neither. There is nothing fun about this and the playing experience is non-existent. Instead you sit around bashing the buttons in a desperate bid to get Barbie to JUST FUCKING STEER, with your mood becoming increasingly dark and irritable. Eventually, rainclouds form ...
lisanne's avatar
The Muppets: On with the Show! (Game Boy Advance)

The Muppets: On with the Show! review (GBA)

Reviewed on August 08, 2007

Dear reader, please allow me a moment of misty-eyed recollection. Let me remember the times I spent as a young child - blonde-haired, blue-eyed, grinning broadly, full of life and hope for a bright future, untainted by the rigours of corporate society as we know it today - watching my favourite programmes on television on a weekend evening. Such happy memories - Dukes of Hazzard, Grandstand with Des Lynam, and my favorite programme of all - The Muppet Show. Those brightly coloured bundles of sla...
lisanne's avatar
Gurumin: A Monstrous Adventure (PSP)

Gurumin: A Monstrous Adventure review (PSP)

Reviewed on August 07, 2007

Welcome to Tiese.
espiga's avatar
Dead to Rights (Game Boy Advance)

Dead to Rights review (GBA)

Reviewed on August 06, 2007

Jack Slate wasn't kidding when he said Grant City was the hardest place on Earth. Every inch you walk in his world, you'll confront criminals and bad dudes that wanna kill you. This being an action game and all, you'd figure that would be a great thing, right? I mean, who doesn't want to bust into an area, guns blazing, killing anyone who dares stand in your way? Well, unfortunately, the developers screwed up this simple formula for an action title, because you won't be having any fun at all in ...
pickhut's avatar
Slave Pageant (PC)

Slave Pageant review (PC)

Reviewed on August 05, 2007

One fateful night, I was working at my usual place of business when a disheveled gentleman hobbled into the spaghetti warehouse. This man was draped in a conspicuous trench coat, as if hiding something on his person. He was sweating bullets from his messy hairdo as if he had been engaged in strenuous activity and exercise for many nights. He hobbled over to me, hands clenching my shoulders as he shook my body and yelled, “You must take this from me!” He then handed me a black jewel case barren e...
Hermione's avatar
Doom (Game Boy Advance)

Doom review (GBA)

Reviewed on August 05, 2007

It's a future day. As a Marine for Union Aerospace Corporation, or UAC, you're no pushover. You walk with purpose wherever you go, flexing as many muscles as possible. On the job one day, you hear a rumor that the Mars moonbase is having problems. This is somewhat surprising, as ever since its establishment, it had been surprisingly well-kept with few if any issues. As you hear more of the story, you realize that this is serious. Marines and scientists at the base are being slaughtered by hellis...
iamtheprodigy's avatar
LEGO Racers (Nintendo 64)

LEGO Racers review (N64)

Reviewed on August 04, 2007

I've always hated Legos. Perhaps it's my lack of natural building skills, as I've never been into models, Tinker Toys, Jenga, or whatever else there is out there to stack, mold, or design. Figuring that the N64 racing game was just, well, a racing game, I didn't worry that my strong dislike of the toys might come into play. Well, put simply, I was completely wrong. The game involved building and customizing your car and your driver using animated Lego pieces. Alright, so this bugged me. I once a...
iamtheprodigy's avatar
God of War II (PlayStation 2)

God of War II review (PS2)

Reviewed on August 04, 2007

Kratos. He was once a legendary Spartan warrior who fought in many great wars, and he conquered all of them. However, there was one battle he could not win. On the verge of a grisly defeat, he implored for the assistance of the God of War, Ares, to come down and smite his foes. In exchange for the godly intervention, Kratos’ soul now belonged to the vile deity. This set the scene for the events that occurred in the first God of War.
arkrex's avatar
Gitaroo Man Lives! (PSP)

Gitaroo Man Lives! review (PSP)

Reviewed on August 04, 2007

Now that you can shred through your favorite tunes with a plastic guitar controller, the idea of using face buttons and analog sticks to keep the beat must seem antiquated. As the handheld remake of a 2002 PS2 cult classic, Gitaroo Man Lives! hopes you’re in need of such a blast from the past. But this game is about more than learning the rhythm of a few songs. It’s a story of a young man stuck with the strange name of U-1, as he rises from a wimpy doormat to an intergalactic savior. ...
woodhouse's avatar
The Ocean Hunter (Arcade)

The Ocean Hunter review (ARC)

Reviewed on August 03, 2007

If you, like me, have been wondering lately what it might feel like to shoot torpedoes at sharks and other underwater creatures, then you should immediately head to the nearest arcade with The Ocean Hunter in it. I was attracted to the game by its large guns and underwater theme. Bringing a buddy in with me, we inserted our trusty tokens and took the plunge, so to speak. The helpful screen introduced us to our animated counterparts, who happened to be two divers in tight, uncomfortable-looking w...
iamtheprodigy's avatar
Twin Eagle (NES)

Twin Eagle review (NES)

Reviewed on August 02, 2007

In the early 1980s, the home console industry would fall apart (especially fueled by the bombing of Atari's E.T.), creating a lull in the gaming niche. This would pave the way for a re-emerging arcade dominance, especially as at the time they were much more powerful than what you would get out of a more convenient stay-at-home play. Oldies like Donkey Kong and Galaga looked much better on arcade than their 2600 counterparts, and without a console's constant specs to weigh them down...
darkstarripclaw's avatar
Mario Party (Nintendo 64)

Mario Party review (N64)

Reviewed on August 02, 2007

Mini games are generally designed to be a distraction from the main game - a fun little addition to keep you busy if you get bored with the big picture. Other times mini games are cleverly squeezed into the main game as a way to beat enemies, get through some maze, or find an item. But Mario Party is unique in the way it implements its mini games: as the main part of its gameplay.
iamtheprodigy's avatar
Within A Deep Forest (PC)

Within A Deep Forest review (PC)

Reviewed on August 01, 2007

If you are just one person, and you want to make a game, what should you focus on? Maybe the first thing is to get the ball rolling with a hero.
dragoon_of_infinity's avatar
Doom (PC)

Doom review (PC)

Reviewed on August 01, 2007

Doom took the world by storm. You know the drill: all nine levels of opening episode Knee Deep in the Dead were released as a free demo, with network play included to boot. Videogame inspired homicides then soared almost as much as office productivity plummeted. And already I'm sure you've braced yourself for yet another tedious history lesson, the usual story about how we never would have had Halo or any of those other newfangled games without good 'ol iD Software laying down the foundations fo...
mardraum's avatar
Contact (DS)

Contact review (DS)

Reviewed on August 01, 2007

Here’s what Contact’s box guarantees you won’t find in the game: A dull moment; normalcy; a guy with “spikey” hair and/or amnesia; dramatic monologues; the same battles you’ve been fighting since the 16-bit era.
Suskie's avatar
Pariah (Xbox)

Pariah review (XBX)

Reviewed on August 01, 2007

Pariah is a bad first-person shooter that no one should be forced to play. It starts out boring and only manages to get mindless, repetitive, dull, and tedious. Between complex controls, an unexplained story, flat characters, poor graphics, a sloppy frame-rate, buggy sounds, and boring gameplay there is no enjoyment found in this tepid and monotonous adventure. It manages to hit every shooter cliché and never creates any uniqueness or memorable moments. By the time you end the second level or fi...
ghostyghost's avatar
Silver Surfer (NES)

Silver Surfer review (NES)

Reviewed on August 01, 2007

The first thing you’ll notice about Silver Surfer is how awesome the music is. Most of my experience with this game has been on the pause screen in the first level listening to the soundtrack. This game embraces the NES’ limited sound capabilities; it’s like a techno chiptune remix before techno chiptune remixes existed. The drum samples are the most authentic you’ll hear on the NES. The melodies are catchy as all hell. These tunes are among the best on the system. Seriously. Obtain a copy of th...
phediuk's avatar
Barney's Hide and Seek (Genesis)

Barney's Hide and Seek review (GEN)

Reviewed on July 31, 2007

Barney is enough to convince most people that dinosaurs went extinct for a very good reason. This pacifistic mass of purple and green foam was invented solely to entertain developing children not yet sophisticated enough to speak or eat with a closed mouth. We were all once like that, but even now I can recall never being inclined towards this goofy-voiced Tyrannosaurus Rex bursting with love, even at an age when one isn't expected to have discriminating tastes. My Kindergarten classmates...
johnny_cairo's avatar

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