Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for Nintendo 64 games. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

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	Castlevania review (N64) Reviewed on August 11, 2008 This game cheated me. I had originally started playing on the normal difficulty, but finding that its spastic camera and inane method of fighting led to more deaths than I deserved, I decided to restart and play on easy. The game became slightly more tolerable, and it would not be inaccurate to say that I, on some occasions, did not hate it from the depths of my soul. This ended when it came time to ascend a certain tower. Believing that I was to continue playing, I hopped onto an elevator o...
	Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards review (N64) Reviewed on August 05, 2008 Kirby’s Dream Land may have been short and easy, but it was never boring, with levels often vertically oriented to take advantage of Kirby’s flight capabilities. Kirby can still fly here (though the ability is more limited), but most of these stages could be completed by any generic platformer star: Walk forward, defeat a few enemies, jump a few times, move on. And damn, is Kirby ever slow. You’ve got to double-tap a direction on the d-pad just to make him bolt at an adequate pace, and even then there’s the unwavering sense that he’s wading through invisible mashed potatoes.
	Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards review (N64) Reviewed on August 05, 2008 I must confess a predisposition to certain things that we in the west generally consider sickeningly adorable. The very idea of a pink, balloon-like creature with stubby little arms and those cute little eyes just makes me want to run out and hug something. Some may say that the appropriate audience for such a game is clearly pre-adolescent, and that to hug other Kirby 64 players would make a pedophile, to which I would retort that anyone under the age of 15 probably has no idea what an...
	Jet Force Gemini review (N64) Reviewed on August 03, 2008 I’m generally okay with fetch quests – hell, half of my N64 career was positively made of fetch quests – but Rare bumps it up a notch. They obscure some of the Tribals from regular view. The others are thrown out into the open, where they’re more likely to get killed by stray gunfire. What’s worse is that worlds are divided into districts, and you’ve got to collect all of an area’s Tribals before you leave. If an area has ten Tribals and you save nine, you can’t come back later and rescue the one that you missed. You’ve got to get them all in one fell swoop. It’s not simply tiring – it’s exhausting.
	Goldeneye 007 review (N64) Reviewed on August 02, 2008 Goldeneye was the best game I ever played in 1997. In 1997, the idea of firing explosive rockets in my brother's face without the threat of parental beatings was an experience I had never had (in 1997, of course). In 1997, I – as no doubt everyone else who played Goldeneye in 1997 – was flabbergasted by the shear scope of this thing. The expansive levels, the recoil of exotic machine guns, the hordes of intelligent Russians assaulting our hero from all sides, and the complicated missio...
	AeroFighters Assault review (N64) Reviewed on July 30, 2008 Given that its developer is Paradigm, the company responsible for Pilotwings 64, it would be reasonable to expect Aero Fighters: Assault to do things like be competent and not suck. We're just trading a hang glider for an F14; how different can these games possibly be? It's still a flight sim, and Paradigm has proven that they have the skill for such a thing, so what could possibly go wrong?
	Mystical Ninja starring Goemon review (N64) Reviewed on July 30, 2008 Fight on… Fight on…
	Star Fox 64 review (N64) Reviewed on June 06, 2008 Just what you needed to see, Star Fox 64. He can sure be a pain in the neck, but we’re going to break through that fleet. Just don’t get too cocky, otherwise you’ll never defeat Andross.
	NBA Showtime: NBA on NBC review (N64) Reviewed on April 06, 2008 I missed a memo.
	Pokemon Snap review (N64) Reviewed on February 16, 2008 Pokemon Snap. These two words have caused children to shiver with fear. They have ruined the reputation of the Pokemon franchise and caused, I’m sure, numerous depression cases across the country. Pokemon Snap, released on June 30th, 1999 in the U.S. was a new concept was to test an original concept for Pokemon; photography. The game was designed to give kids (hence the game’s E rating) the experience of photographing pokemon. However, this “genius” scheme soon went immediately downhill. In ...
	Star Soldier: Vanishing Earth review (N64) Reviewed on January 18, 2008 The fifth level of this game has an almost Derridian, self-reflexivity to it: the screen goes black, you see the words "Level 5" in bold white text, and a deep male voice announces the stage's subtitle, "Terrible". Vanishing Earth is without a doubt the worst shoot 'em up on the N64. It's also the best. In fact, it is the only shoot 'em up on the N64. Unfortunately, it is so generic, so flawed, and so unresponsive that you'll feel like your playing underwater, that it isn't worth your...
	Tsumi to Batsu: Hoshi no Keishousha review (N64) Reviewed on January 16, 2008 Saki’s having a bad day. Well, worse than usual. His morning started with a shootout. Nothing too serious; Saki is one Hell of a gunslinger, and these Armed Volunteer goons can be taken out with a few bullet sprays. He must have murdered dozens – no, hundreds - of those armored warriors. But it’s getting old. You’d think that the government would take a hint and cut their casualties, but they keep sending wave after wave of these guys. It’s not like you can really blame them, though; Achi...
	Turok: Rage Wars review (N64) Reviewed on January 15, 2008 Did you know that there were multiplayer first-person shooters for the N64 other Goldeneye and Perfect Dark? No really – it’s true! Turok: Rage Wars is the fleshed out multiplayer scenario that didn’t quite pan out in Turok 2: Seeds of Evil. It might not offer the compelling single player found in Rare’s dominating shooters, but the combination of well designed maps, balanced weapons, and a flying drill called the cerebral bore (which does exactly what you think it...
	Monopoly review (N64) Reviewed on December 03, 2007 I'd meant what I said about the iron. He's easily the most expressive of the available choices. When you land on his property and have to pay rent, he'll chuckle silently but deviously. When he arrives on a space that is to his financial gain, he'll pump his arms enthusiastically. Even when he's standing still, he looks just maniacal enough that you can't help but root for his success.
	WWF No Mercy review (N64) Reviewed on November 18, 2007 I have been a major fan of professional wrestling since I was around ten years old, so of course I’ve played nearly all of the wrestling games released on any console. From the old SNES titles to the newer Smackdown! games, I have spent my share of time in the squared circle. That being said, I have never played a wrestling game as entertaining, addictive, or long-lasting as WWF No Mercy for the Nintendo 64.
	Mario Golf review (N64) Reviewed on September 12, 2007 Seamlessly meshing the country club atmosphere, the intricacies of the classic sport and a cast of characters hailing from the Mushroom Kingdom we grew up dreaming of, Camelot's Mario Golf is devoid of the excessive gimmick and glitz we might expect from a title combining two very different themes. Unlike its inferior GameCube sequel Toadstool Tour, we won't find newly invented "fast greens" where the ball skirts off as if it were on ice and poorly designed courses over brewing lav...
	Major League Baseball Featuring Ken Griffey Jr. review (N64) Reviewed on September 12, 2007 I tried.
	Pokemon Snap review (N64) Reviewed on September 12, 2007 We -- yes, we! I need your help here -- have been given a task of dire importance by our scientific superior, one Professor Oak of Palette Town Laboratories. As he toils and sweats in his cramped research facility, poking at specimens and jotting observations in data tables, we’ve been asked to go out into the field and document the various species in their natural habitats, hopefully recording their unique behaviors on film and bringing them back for his approval. Initially equipped with just a...
	Mario Kart 64 review (N64) Reviewed on September 12, 2007 Remember Rainbow Road?
	Jet Force Gemini review (N64) Reviewed on September 12, 2007 Years ago, I forgave Jet Force Gemini.

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