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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for PC & Miscellaneous games. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Ninja Gaiden (Arcade)

Ninja Gaiden review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 17, 2003

Tecmo made a Double Dragon type game, where the screen scrolled sideways and you could walk up into the background, and added some interesting spices. The result is the arcade version of Ninja Gaiden. Fans of the NES series will find things dreadfully amiss here, (where's the wall climbing, the swordplay, the magic?) and no doubt immediately consider this much different coin-op to be inferior. It is, actually. But not by as much as you'd think.
Masters's avatar
Double Dragon II: The Revenge (Arcade)

Double Dragon II: The Revenge review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 17, 2003

How wildly our imaginations distort the truth! How apt they are to bend and twist our so-so memories of games into more favourable aspects so that we may think dearly of these adventures from our past, and finally, triumphantly, gloriously, return to them. More often than not, we shouldn’t. With games like Double Dragon 2, we should leave it at, ''wasn’t that a blast?'' Because with revisitation comes the dark face of reality unadorned by the kindly mixture of time, and time away.
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Crime City (Arcade)

Crime City review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 17, 2003

Remember Miami Vice? Or, failing that, the Lethal Weapon series? Well, from the two-word titles, right down to the main characters - the cool ADD-afflicted Caucasian guy, and by-the-book clean cut black guy - Crime City isn’t ashamed to imitate.
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Violence Fight (Arcade)

Violence Fight review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

There’s no game that encompasses the smell of pizza quite like Violence Fight. The aroma twists my head and lures me in. I cannot escape it; it is all-consuming. The game itself -- well, the quality was never in question. At best Violence Fight was always a comical time-waster to me, to us, who spent our lunch times feeding it quarters. Sure, it wasn't deserving of our attention, but it was there, and it was a video game. Better that we should have stayed indoors, inside the school-cum-penitentiary, and eat our packed lunches humbly hunched over at long nondescript benches? HA! How much sweeter it was to play a game this loaded with kitsch, loading our own stomachs full of sloppy pepperoni pizza, and enjoy a sun-filled walk back to our cells and classrooms.
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Superman (Arcade)

Superman review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

Taito used to rule the corner stores with an iron fist. And as such, all we kids who cut class to go to the corner stores to play video games thought Taito was the shit. Superman was a big name cog in the mighty Taito wheel that included other beat-em-up notables like Thunder Fox and Crime City. I think the latter two were my absolute favourites, and what’s nice is that in revisiting them, I found that I still enjoyed myself quite a bit beyond the tingly feeling in your stomach that nostalgia brings. Unfortunately, Superman doesn’t do any tingly things anymore. It just makes me yawn.
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Street Fighter (Arcade)

Street Fighter review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

That guy in the first player slot with red hair, jerking about as if frames of animation are missing, is Ryu. You might recognize him; his hair has gotten darker with age and he has since doffed the ruby red slippers he wears in this incarnation. The blonde guy occupying the spot opposite his Japanese counterpart is the barefooted Ken. He seems to have gotten prettier with age, which is a good thing, because he’s ugly as sin in this game. (Perhaps the Masters Corporation was on the cusp of multibillion dollar success, allowing young Ken to later go under the knife.) These are the only two characters you can select from.
Masters's avatar
Snow Bros. (Arcade)

Snow Bros. review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

Nick and Tom are snowmen. They wear little hats on the backs of their heads, and are dressed down, trailer park style in overalls, with no shirts. The two always smiling wonders have a daunting task on their plates - no less than 50 levels of one-screen-at-a-time action demands conquering, and the monsters patrolling each one-level screen or 'floor', have only one mission in life, and that's snowman homicide.
Masters's avatar
R-Type Leo (Arcade)

R-Type Leo review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

When you play the first few levels, your hardened fan’s heart will melt with the realization that this is the sort of simple genius that makes for excellent shooting, and is deserving of its own sequel, or series. Under another moniker, Leo may have flourished, but it found itself in limbo during the shooter supply and demand pipeline between IREM and their fans. An excellent game they got - the game they wanted, they did not.
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Rezon (Arcade)

Rezon review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

The people at Alhummer were some evil, sadistic sons of bitches. I can’t stress this enough. They weren’t so creative, but they were cold and calculating. Consider this: they took Irem’s arcade, horizontal shooter hit, R-Type, and absolutely, positively ripped it off. But that was only the beginning. I mean, we’ve seen R-Type clones before. But Rezon takes the cloning process to a whole other level.
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Gals Panic (Arcade)

Gals Panic review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

Your goal here is to move your icon around the square-shaped stage. You can move wherever you like so long as you like and not have to worry about dying. The minute you start drawing a line, though, you're vulnerable to attacks. Enemies are moving about along with you, and if they hit you while you're drawing, or shape you're drawing that you haven't completed, you lose a life.
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Mario Bros. (Apple II)

Mario Bros. review (APP2)

Reviewed on December 12, 2003

There are new elements from one set of stages to the next. In the early areas, your enemies are turtles. Those fellows fall easily to your bumping technique. However, as you'll soon face the lobsters (they take two hits to disorient), the flies (they bounce about) and even natural hazards such as ice monsters that freeze ledges and the icicles that like to break loose and fall on your head from time to time.
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Unreal Tournament: Game of the Year Edition (PC)

Unreal Tournament: Game of the Year Edition review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Do you have any friends? Well, do you? If the answer to this dubious and revealing question is 'yes', then you simply cannot do without playing Unreal Tournament. But I am not good at First Person Shooter games! You whine, clearly unimpressed (and most likely hiding your negative response to the first question!). To this I say, it doesn't matter! like The Rock before he hung up his spandex briefs.
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Wolfenstein 3D (PC)

Wolfenstein 3D review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

The German voices are probably the biggest aural highlight (achtung baby!), and the dogs certainly represent the most impressive show of the games graphics. Human enemies are large and menacing, but they have a squashed look to them that makes us take the whole thing less seriously than we should. It's as if the cast of River City Ransom was dropped into a pseudo 3D environment and given guns and awkward accents.
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Raptor (PC)

Raptor review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Raptor uses a vitality bar, so beginners won’t be intimidated as they would be by an R-Type-ish one hit wonder. That vitality bar can be extended if you’ve got enough money. Money can’t buy you love, but life - now there’s a perfectly reasonable investment.
Masters's avatar
God of Thunder (PC)

God of Thunder review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

GoT (you’ve gotta admit, it’s one of the best acronyms in the world of gaming, ever: got GoT?) gives us a top-down perspective on the goings-on in the world of its hero, much like The Legend of Zelda. But don’t confuse the challenges of Asgaard with the strictly action–RPG swashbuckling of Hyrule; there is a lot more brainwork for Thor to do than bomb cave walls and pull tongues to open doors.
Masters's avatar
Worms 2 (PC)

Worms 2 review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

''It looks just like a cartoon!''
snowdragon's avatar
Star Trek: Judgment Rites (PC)

Star Trek: Judgment Rites review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away......
snowdragon's avatar
Progress Quest (PC)

Progress Quest review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

I had no idea what to expect when I was ushered into the world of Progress Quest by a couple of online acquaintances. I had been told, however, that it was a game unlike any I'd ever played and that the super-fast download was well worth the time. After unzipping and opening my 300kb file, I opened the game and saw that I was being treated to an MMORPG of sorts. The list of occupations and races was there and seemed fairly normal ..... but then I got to really looking at it. And I knew beyond a ...
snowdragon's avatar
Pocket Tanks (PC)

Pocket Tanks review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

You may not realize it, but this game has been around in some form or another since (you won't believe this) (you just won't) (I swear it on my life) the 80s. Yes, back when Cosby was everyone's paradigm of humor and people took you totally seriously when you did things like say ''Gag me with a spoon'' or bust out with the Safety Dance. This game's very oldest pappy was programmed in a strange archaic computer language called QBASIC (I can see all you young whippersnappers scratchin' yer heads i...
snowdragon's avatar
King's Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder (PC)

King's Quest V: Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Once again, it's time to dip into my Hotmail inbox, where once in a while I rummage down far enough past the debt consolidation messages and annoyingly persistent offers to ''enlarge [myself] safely and naturally'' to locate a message worth reading. Ah, here's one! Let us peruse its inner details. Ahem:
snowdragon's avatar

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