Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for PC & Miscellaneous games. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

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	X-Change review (PC) Reviewed on June 21, 2004 If in earlier days, or perhaps even now, you were like most young men -- and all you ladies out there, I’m guessing you weren’t -- you probably at some point wished yourself a girl. That’s right -- a frilly dress-wearing, tea party-hosting, Nancy Drew-reading girl. Well I’m here to disillusion you and hopefully break you of those twisted desires, because if X-Change is any indicator -- and knowing the reputed mystical insights possessed by your average Japanese game designer, it probably ...
	Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic review (PC) Reviewed on June 20, 2004 In that familiar galaxy far, far away, some 4000 years before the long-ago events of the two Star Wars film trilogies, the Republic is threatened by a Sith army led by Darth Malak. Its fate lies with the sultry yet sour-mouthed Jedi Bastilla, who possesses a potent ability called Battle Meditation that allowed her to kill Malak’s former master Revan. She’s not doing so well as the game opens, though, as a Sith armada destroys her vessel and forces her to hide out on Taris, a decaying urban world...
	The Queen of Heart '98 review (PC) Reviewed on June 19, 2004 Watanabe Seisakujo is an interesting Japanese company. Obviously an impassioned collection of individuals, they seek to pay tribute to games that they admire. Apparently, some of those games are of an adult nature, as the group tends to borrow their favorite female characters to use in their own games… their own fighting games. Watanabe Seisakujo aren’t alone in their desire to see cute girls beat each other senseless, though, as all their creations have achieved at least cult-level recogniti...
	DoDonPachi review (ARC) Reviewed on June 18, 2004 What is DoDonPachi? If you answered ''a shooter,'' you are wrong. Go home, go directly home, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
	Serious Sam: The First Encounter review (PC) Reviewed on June 14, 2004 I can honestly say that only a few things have ever actually hurt my brain. One thing that I remember as a brain-hurter was when my friend Chris and I took apart this really old TV and broke a tube inside it that was labeled as dangerous. Suffice to say, I have worn glasses ever since. Another thing that made my brain hurt was Chemistry. Never knew what was going on in there, but after an hour and a half of learning it, my brain felt like it got sucker-punched by Muhammad Ali. The only thing els...
	Autobahn review (APP2) Reviewed on June 14, 2004 The goal is to drive down the Autobahn, that famous French freeway with no speed limit and people who like to drive as fast as their cars will move. Other than yourself, though, there aren’t a lot of people who have the sort of engine to take advantage of the environment. So you take it upon yourself to weave through traffic like a soccer mom on the way to the game in her husband’s SUV. Aside from a few minor details, I’ve just described the whole game.
	Sentimental Shooting review (PC) Reviewed on June 14, 2004 Your concentration wavers as her smile catches your eye. What was supposed to be a quick glance turns into a second-long stare as you survey her girlish face and fine figure. Try to forget her vulnerable position, that in a few more seconds her shirt will explode and only her lingerie will remain. The vibrant music only further detaches you from the battle, obscuring the sound of enemy fire. You only hear a dull explosion, switching your focus only to see your ship disintegrate and the words ''G...
	Ceiling Zero review (APP2) Reviewed on June 01, 2004 As I became slowly disenchanted with Space Invaders, I looked to the Apple for new variants. I just wanted to shoot things up, which was good, because many early Apple games offered nothing more. Ceiling Zero(CZ) had lots of shooting and, worse yet, a flowerpot-shaped boss ship that went FWEEE to start things off. I suppose there was no shortage of shooters that trapped you unfairly with random incidents, but when I was young, that didn't bother me. I wasn’t good enough for that to be a factor.
	Bug Attack review (APP2) Reviewed on May 30, 2004 Most everyone is out to get him. The few that aren’t spend their time cowering in the face of insect-shaped aliens that have made the realm their own. These fearsome foes come in one of three shapes: ants, caterpillars and butterflies. Each of them are capable of dropping knives the size of their own bodies, and the screen is often filled with waves of metal weapons you must dodge while you return pathetic pellets of your own.
	I'm Gonna Serve You 4 review (PC) Reviewed on May 30, 2004 Among fans of English bishoujo titles, Trabulance is a company known for producing less-than-serious fare. Stick some cute girls in cute uniforms, throw them in a novel environment, and let the sexual comedy ensue. At first, or even second, glance, Tsukushite Agechau 4 looks exactly the same. This impression is certainly supported by the opening theme, a cheerful J-pop tune playing over a movie that immediately focuses on the girls’ obvious physical endowments. It leads the player t...
	Virgin Roster ~Shukketsubo~ review (PC) Reviewed on May 30, 2004 You should hate this game; it glorifies the type of brutality that society shuns. Virgin Roster ~Shukketsubo~ is a game about rape. More accurately, it’s about one man’s damnable quest to control, humiliate, violate, and destroy any suitable woman he encounters. While the game possesses a theme that will be reprehensible to most, it can tempt many to play because of its visually titillating sex scenes, in particular the ones that feature animation. Virgin Roster is a conundrum;...
	Tsuki ~Possession~ review (PC) Reviewed on May 30, 2004 Despite the fact that only a handful of their games have reached the English speaking market, ZyX has certainly shown they’re not afraid to explore the darker recesses of sexual desire. One of their first translated titles was the condemnable Ring Out, which follows a young girl’s descent into a world of sexual slavery. More recently came the release of Virgin Roster, a title about a rapist prowling a high school. Tsuki ~Possession~ is cut from the same pattern, cho...
	Cobra Mission review (PC) Reviewed on May 23, 2004 Face it, your first intimate encounter can be a mortifying experience. Where do you put those clumsy hands of yours? And, oh my gosh, what are you doing with your mouth?!? Don’t let your inept fumbling plunge you into the depths of humiliation and shoot you self-confidence to hell. Avoid this lifelong trauma; simply play Cobra Mission: Panic in Cobra City. Not only is this game a moderately complex RPG-style detective story. Not only is it an over-the-top comedy that borders on the farc...
	Pretty Girl Makiro review (PC) Reviewed on May 23, 2004 Pretty Girl offers a different perspective than most other adult bishoujo games. Disposing of the idea of a male lead character surrounded by a bevy of beautiful girls, the developers of this game made the main character a female... and surrounded her with a bevy of beautiful girls. Yes, Pretty Girl provides the player with a large helping of girl-on-girl action. Unfortunately, that's the only attraction of the game. The thin script barely provides a story, much less any charac...
	Paradise Heights 2 review (PC) Reviewed on May 16, 2004 Is it possible Paradise Heights achieved enough popularity to warrant a sequel? Could that game, so devoid of memorable or exciting characters and storyline, have succeeded based solely on its lascivious adult content? Hard to imagine, yet Paradise Heights 2 exists nonetheless. Credit should go to the developers of this follow-up. Rather than simply churning out a game of equal quality to the original, the team clearly worked to improve every aspect in the sequel, if only slightly....
	Paradise Heights review (PC) Reviewed on May 16, 2004 Based on arguably specious reasoning, I've concluded that the producers of Paradise Heights passionately hated making this game. For Exhibit A, I present two quotes from the main character, lifted from the opening introduction where he reflects on his time spent as a computer game programmer.
	Clockwerx review (PC) Reviewed on May 15, 2004 Sammy spins left, Sammy spins right. Sammy sees the green rod coming! Sammy tries to duck and weave and avoid a collision, but the green rod is too clever for Sammy. The two collide in a fiery explosion that totally decimates poor Sammy.
	Time Stripper Mako review (PC) Reviewed on May 09, 2004 Foster may have been the greatest bishoujo game developer ever, but the English speaking world would never know it. Only three of their products were ever translated, all a part of Otaku Publishing’s mid-90’s attempt to popularize the genre. Two of these were the first insipid installments of the Paradise Heights trilogy. The other, and best by default, was Time Stripper Mako. To be fair, this title does have some superior features: namely multiple endings and some oddball humor. D...
	Aliens Vs. Predator 2 review (PC) Reviewed on April 27, 2004 “Scary as hell” is a term I rarely, if ever, use to describe a game. So many games that claim to be frightening end up being relatively low on the scares due to poor atmosphere, weak gameplay, or a little of both. I can honestly admit that Aliens vs. Predator 2 had me scared, but only for exactly one/third of the game. You see, this game lets you play as three wildly different races, the standard Marine, the badass Predator, and the freaky-as-hell Alien (dubbed Xenomorph by the in-gam...
	Dungeons & Dragons: Tower of Doom review (ARC) Reviewed on April 26, 2004 Don't be duped.

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