Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for NES games. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

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	Ultima: Warriors of Destiny review (NES) Reviewed on February 09, 2010 Ultima: Warriors of Destiny (WoD) doesn't have the cartridge space to replicate the top-down Ultima V, its PC equivalent, but it never even gets close. It banks on a bigger overworld, which just makes it more annoying to travel between sparsely populated towns, and a bigger underworld, where you'll quickly realize the maps repeat. U5 made it enjoyable to slow down and look at the effects of moralistic rule, but WoD is about finding words and items and getting on with it. It's slowe...
	Joshua and the Battle of Jericho review (NES) Reviewed on January 30, 2010 Given Wisdom Tree's notoriety in retro circles, their take on the mediocre puzzler Crystal Mines should not have been any good. Yet while most of Wisdom Tree's games copied from other genres and forced Bibilical stuff in, most of Joshua's hundred levels create small stories so it doesn't feel like just an action puzzler. Though the puzzles are quite good too, as Joshua blasts around with his trumpet (how Jericho was destroyed, you know,) collecting five question blocks and adequate...
	Wacky Races review (NES) Reviewed on January 13, 2010 Each of the 10 levels looks different and is divided into multiple parts. Muttley's opposition varies from level to level, as well, which at least gives the illusion you're doing something different in each stage. Sure, for the most part, you're running and jumping from left to right on the screen while avoiding or disposing of foes, but when the monsters and locales are constantly changing, it at least tricks me into not realizing that most of the game's "variety" is superficial.
	Hottaman no Chisoko Tanken review (NES) Reviewed on January 11, 2010 Hottaman no Chisoku Tanken transliterates gloriously to "Hotman," but that's the only smile I got from this game. It's a dig-in-the-earth game with big levels, power-ups, secret doors, hidden treasure, odd bug enemies and teleports. Find four keys and the exit for a new level. Weak level design and grossly unfair random events, though, mean fifteen looping levels provide very little adventure. Hotman is not the game its title deserves.
	Blodia Land: Puzzle Quest review (NES) Reviewed on January 10, 2010 Blodia Land (BL) is a colorful, active slide-puzzler with the emphasis more on fun than abstract brain-crunching. Each level has a twisting path, which vanishes as the little lost dragon-duck walks forward. If the player shuffles tiles wrong, the dragon spins and dies. Eight diverse SMB-style maze worlds with ten-plus levels each and mini-games in dead-ends make for one of the most colorful, expansive puzzle games the NES has to offer.
	Great Deal review (NES) Reviewed on January 04, 2010 Great Deal combines Solitaire and Tetris into a nastily intriguing puzzle with its own quirks. The player picks one of a hand of four cards to drop on a five-by-five well. Three or more cards in a row of the same suit or number, or in a straight, disappear in a cloud of point values. The bigger, the better, and combos give multiples. A joker helps. One deck of cards makes a level.
	American Dream review (NES) Reviewed on January 03, 2010 American Dream is the story of Pachio, a smiley little ball with hands and feet, who lands in America with $1000 and a goal of becoming obscenely rich. In the New York/New Jersey metropolitan area, with its casino, Pachio can get do just that without working or paying taxes! AD is littered with casinos chock full of positive-payout gambling machines. Navigating them leads to New Jersey, where Al Capone awaits...
	Quattro Arcade review (NES) Reviewed on December 27, 2009 Quattro Arcade, being a compilation, was one of those games nobody wanted to finish for the NES FAQ Completion Project. In attempting to give something of everything, compilation carts invariably serve up one game that just stinks. Too many NES multi-game carts feature games with too few levels or too little attention to graphics or, in Action 52's case, both. I'm not aware of any perfect cross-genre compilation, but QA is clearly above average.
	Yo! Noid review (NES) Reviewed on December 27, 2009 The Noid is surely the dorkiest hero I've controlled in a while. He's Matt Groening's Bongo the Rabbit in red with a goofy buck-toothed smile, flinging his yo-you at equally odd enemies. Unlike his commercial counterpart, he prefers eating pizzas to ruining them. And saving the city will get him a few! Well, it's a better reward than a burger for saving the President.
	Times of Lore review (NES) Reviewed on December 24, 2009 Times of Lore for the NES is an example of addition by subtraction in a port. The PC/Apple versions took too long to get between towns, and monsters were too lethal and numerous. Futzing with the admittedly innovative interface was a handicap in fights. ToL for the NES tweaks the world map to create shortcuts and also makes townspeople harder to kill by mistake. The result is a satisfactory, if bland RPG.
	Flappy review (NES) Reviewed on December 24, 2009 At 200 levels, Flappy lasts far too long, but it's decent enough that I wound up playing in longer stretches than I'd planned. It's a simple enough puzzler: push squarish boulders in half-width increments, possibly balancing them on the edge of the boulder/platform below. Gravity affects them but not you, and each level has a shiny boulder you must push some way to a shiny platform to advance.
	Street Fighter 2010 review (NES) Reviewed on December 10, 2009 From the bottom of my heart, I believe this game is based on a true story. Of course, any mild-mannered human cannot grasp the possibility of this logic being real, but thankfully, you have me to explain the details. See, Ken, of Street Fighter fame, built a time machine and went back to the past, to warn the citizens of yesteryear about the impending hardships of the year 2010. He knew people would consider this crazy, however, especially since his time machine, which would have been the ultima...
	Castlevania II: Simon's Quest review (NES) Reviewed on October 27, 2009 This is either the crappiest translation in 8-bit history or a fiendishly clever plot to foist subscriptions to NINTENDO POWER upon precocious vampire-hating youths who were subsequently scarred for life by that awesome cover in which our hero clutches Dracula's severed but eternally undying head for all to see.
	RoboCop 2 review (NES) Reviewed on September 22, 2009 Robocop 2 is not a good game.
	Dragon Warrior review (NES) Reviewed on August 04, 2009 While Dragon Warrior can at times be a slow grind fest, the game exudes an atmosphere that is charming, yet filled with hidden dangers and secrets at every turn. It may take several sleepless nights and plenty of pots of Eight O' Clock Coffee to make significant progress, but the rewards are well worth the effort.
	Challenge of the Dragon review (NES) Reviewed on July 22, 2009 Meanwhile, you have "Dragon Style Kung Fu", which consists of flailing about with a tiny sword, tapping foes with your foot and executing an amazingly awkward jumping kick. The ghost of David Carradine is not impressed.
	Legacy of the Wizard review (NES) Reviewed on July 22, 2009 Legacy of the Wizard has a lot going for it: colorful graphics, a rich soundtrack, diverse playable characters, a huge expansive world to explore, and plenty of items to collect and experiment with. While this sounds like a NES classic so far, one key ingredient is missing from the recipe: game play. To put it bluntly, the game play stinks worse than bad dragon breath and therefore spoils the entire dish.
	Operation Secret Storm review (NES) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 I'm not sure what surprised me more: the fact I only had to deal with seven or eight enemies before encountering the level's boss or that I was fighting the national bird of the United States in Iraq! Perhaps Color Dreams was slyly protesting America's decision to leave the Middle East with Saddam in power by having players beat up a symbol of their country to show they had the mettle to take out the "DICK TATOR". Or perhaps, the programmers were idiots. Considering two later bosses were a genie on a magic carpet and a demonic creature, I'm leaning towards the "idiot" hypothesis.
	Valkyrie no Bouken: Toki no Kagi Densetsu review (NES) Reviewed on July 10, 2009 Valkyrie no Bouken: blah blah something grrarrh (VnB,) despite a fancy title, quickly establishes itself as mournfully bland before turning violently senseless. It achieves what personality it has by committing some baffling mistakes I haven't seen in other bad games. Unsure why anybody would write a translation patch for a game this weak, I Googled to find it was based on an anime series. I also found a detailed walkthrough on a dedicated website. Reading all the secrets hidden by the ga...
	Robodemons review (NES) Reviewed on July 06, 2009 There are a couple of skulls in the bottom half constantly shooting at you while you're trying to deal with top-half enemies, including tiny non-firing skulls that roll right under your boomering's path because the programming doesn't allow you to duck. You have to have a high degree of tolerance for the mindnumbingly stupid to persevere through this — and if, like me, you're a fan of Homestar Runner, you also have to avoid bursting into uncontrollable laughter upon realizing that in the platforming levels, your hero bears an uncanny resemblance to Senor Cardgage.

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