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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by timrod and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Live A Live (SNES)

Live A Live review (SNES)

Reviewed on April 29, 2009

It’s rare these days to see the Square-Enix name within a mile of anything original. “Rehashing sells” has been their motto for the past few years, to the detriment of the JRPG genre as a whole. However, Square wasn’t always like that (well, okay, yes they were). There was a time, back in 1994, when Square released the second-best JRPG on the SNES, second only to Earthbound. That game is Live A Live, which unfortunately never saw a release outside Japan.
I-Fluid (PC)

I-Fluid review (PC)

Reviewed on January 24, 2009

The Longest Journey (PC)

The Longest Journey review (PC)

Reviewed on December 30, 2008

About a week ago, I got introduced to The Longest (-winded) Journey, which people told me was the best point-and-click adventure game ever made, and that I would instantly love it the second I began playing it. So I downloaded it, installed it, and played about halfway through. What I found is that The Longest Journey definitely lives up to its name, but that it definitely is NOT the god-adventure I was told it would be, and is DEFINITELY not the best adventure game of all time.
3x3 Eyes: Juuma Houkan (SNES)

3x3 Eyes: Juuma Houkan review (SNES)

Reviewed on November 14, 2008

There comes a time in every man’s life when for the sake of a seemingly pointless competition he is required to review a game whose name is a number because he wasn’t lucky enough to be one of the twenty-six other people and get a letter. Unfortunately for me, I have a terrible university internet connection, which ruled out downloading the game XIII and reviewing that. So naturally, I began looking through some romsets and picked the first game in my 7,637 SNES roms – 3x3 Eyes: Juuma Houkan. Go...
World of Goo (PC)

World of Goo review (PC)

Reviewed on November 09, 2008

In this day and age, marking a game as “casual” is usually a kiss of death, forever putting it into the same genre as non-games like Brain Age, Wii Fit, and Wii Music and killing off any hope of being bought by a core gamer audience. In the eyes of many, casual “games” only sell to two types of people: clueless parents that buy them for their kids, and clueless non-gamers who will buy anything that’s popular. For the longest time, this has been the truth – any game that calls itself casual will ...
Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance)

Mother 3 review (GBA)

Reviewed on October 26, 2008

By all accounts, Mother 3 is a game that should never have been playable by an English-speaking audience. First you have Nintendo’s outspoken hatred of fans of the Mother/Earthbound series – their refusal to translate Mother 1+2 on the GBA, their refusal to translate Mother 3, their refusal to bring Earthbound to the Wii Virtual Console in America/Europe despite Earthbound ranking #1 in their polls of what games to bring to the VC every single time, their outright mocking of Earthbound fans in t...
Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia (DS)

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia review (DS)

Reviewed on October 25, 2008

Since time immemorial (read: 1997), Konami has promised a worthy sequel to Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Every couple of years, the developers rise from their graves, and not even a long history of half-assed failures can stop them. First, there was Circle of the Moon and Harmony of Dissonance. Then there was Dawn of Sorrow and Portrait of Ruin. In the middle was Curse of Darkness and Lament of Innocence, both 3D bastard children in a 2D series. The only post-SOTN Castlevania that can even...
Disgaea DS (DS)

Disgaea DS review (DS)

Reviewed on September 27, 2008

When I heard that Atlus/Nippon Ichi had decided to port the first Disgaea to the DS, I was shocked. For one thing, they’d already ported it to the PSP and had hinted at the port being a PSP exclusive. For a second, there was no way the DS’s extremely limited hardware could ever hope to run a game that was originally for the PS2, even if it came nowhere close to stretching the PS2’s hardware limits. What Atlus delivered was a bad port of a good game.
Time Hollow (DS)

Time Hollow review (DS)

Reviewed on September 26, 2008

There’s been a rash of new DS titles recently – Kirby Super Star Ultra, the remake of Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, and the craptacular Sonic Chronicles. Yet, out of all the releases this week, most people have forgotten about one that would be the best had Nintendo not decided to release Kirby this week. That game is Time Hollow.
Lock's Quest (DS)

Lock's Quest review (DS)

Reviewed on September 13, 2008

THQ as a company can be summed up in one word: shovelware. All those bad movie tie-in games you see? That’s THQ. I don’t think THQ has ever published a worthwhile game in their entire history as a company. They’re attracted to bad games like flies to shit. Then I heard a select few morons saying that THQ had finally published a good game – Lock’s Quest. Naturally, I downloaded it to see what was up. What I expected was a bad Western shovelware title, and that’s pretty much exactly what I got.
N+ (DS)

N+ review (DS)

Reviewed on September 02, 2008

There seems to be a big craze these days over difficult acrobatic-based platformers. Most of them were freeware to begin with – Jumper, I Wanna Be The Guy, etc. So far, only one game has made it to a commercial release, that game being Way of the N, ported as N+ to the DS and XBox Live Arcade. Since I could get the game as freeware anyway, I had no qualms about finding the newly-released rom and loading it onto my flashcart.
Final Fantasy IV (DS)

Final Fantasy IV review (DS)

Reviewed on August 01, 2008

There are approximately three Final Fantasy games I can stand – those being Final Fantasy 4, Final Fantasy 5, and Final Fantasy 6. So naturally, when I heard about a remake of FFIV coming out for the DS with new graphics, I was almost ready to go out and buy it. Then I remembered all of Square-Enix’s recent failures (including the sub-par remake of FFIV on the GBA) and loaded it on my flashcart instead, and learned that Square-Enix had nothing to do with the remake, instead contracting it to a c...
Umihara Kawase (SNES)

Umihara Kawase review (SNES)

Reviewed on July 05, 2008

Every puzzle game I have ever played on the SNES has sucked. First there’s the standard billion and one mahjong clones the Japanese consume like so much Pocky. Then there’s your fifty different Tetris games, and digitized versions of the old standbys – picross, crosswords, things like that. You can look through almost every one of the 6,766 roms in the last released SNES romset, and you will not find one single puzzle game that does not totally blow. Then someone introduced me to Umihara Kawase,...
Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift (DS)

Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift review (DS)

Reviewed on July 02, 2008

It’s no secret to most of the world that Square-Enix is a dying company. Their stock price has fallen 20% in the past year and their CEO has issued a memo telling the developers that they will be fired if they attempt to release anything other than rehashes or new expansion packs for Final Fantasy XI. The ironic part is that up until the release of The World Ends With You earlier this year, Squaresoft had not made an original non-Final-Fantasy game since the release of Chrono Cross in 1999, and ...
S4 League (PC)

S4 League review (PC)

Reviewed on June 23, 2008

I’ve played a lot of bad Korean MMOs in my day: FlyFF, Ragnarok Online, ROSE, Trickster, and Pangya Golf, to name a few. However, the worst of them all was a game called Gunz: The Duel. The major problem with Gunz was that even though it was supposed to be a third-person shooter, the entire game revolved around swords-only games and exploiting glitches. Then along came news of S4 League, a game that billed itself as Gunz without the suck. Naturally, I didn’t believe a word they said, and I was r...
Dwarf Fortress (PC)

Dwarf Fortress review (PC)

Reviewed on June 23, 2008

Recently, there’s been a big fad in PC Gaming of so-called “independent” developers releasing games that had potential, but ultimately were garbage or not totally fleshed out. Then came Dwarf Fortress. Programmed entirely by one man under the auspices of his company, Bay 12 Games, Dwarf Fortress is what happens when an independent developer has an idea and fleshes it out properly. On paper, Dwarf Fortress sounds like the single worst idea ever – an RTS done entirely in ASCII graphics, Nethack st...
The World Ends with You (DS)

The World Ends with You review (DS)

Reviewed on April 17, 2008

One of the biggest criticisms of post Final Fantasy 6 Square-Enix titles is Tetsuya Nomura, that being the character designer for pretty much every Square-Enix title that isn’t Dragon Quest related. Criticisms of Nomura include that he has a fetish for belts and zippers, and that he loves making bad emo protagonists (Cloud and Squall from FF7/FF8 respectively). The World Ends With You was supposed to be proof that Squaresoft could make something that wasn’t a standard JRPG with Nomura’s designs....
No More Heroes (Wii)

No More Heroes review (WII)

Reviewed on February 07, 2008

Let's face it. Most games Suda51 has made were a complete and utter failure at being good. You had some of the latter Clock Towers, which were bad to begin with and overshadowed by the vastly superior Silent Hill. You had Killer7, which was mediocre at best. You had Contact, which by many people's standards was at least a partial ripoff of Earthbound. Suda51's latest offering, No More Heroes, vowed to be his first truly good game, as well as a release that fills the four-month void between Mario...
World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade (PC)

World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade review (PC)

Reviewed on December 22, 2007

If World of Warcraft could be summed up into one phrase, it would be either "bait and switch" or "false advertising". To understand how horrid World of Warcraft really is, you must first see through all of the lies put forth by its developer, Blizzard. The first lie you'll run into is the classification of WoW as a video game. The second lie is that it's fun. The third lie is that it has actual content. Three lies, and we're not even past the box the game comes in. Get used to it, because there ...
Heroes of Mana (DS)

Heroes of Mana review (DS)

Reviewed on December 21, 2007

It's been proven time and time again that Square-Enix cannot make anything that isn't a Final Fantasy style RPG. They had Ergheiz, the horrid FF-based attempt by Square to make a fighting game. They had Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, where 99% of the fun value was drawing bad MSPaint comics portraying Marche as a villain. And now, finally, Square releases a third abortion, based off Secret of Mana and it's sequel. Heroes of Mana is at best Starcraft with a thin Squaresoft shell over it. At worst...

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