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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by sclemmons and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Final Fantasy IV (DS)

Final Fantasy IV review (DS)

Reviewed on December 26, 2009

So I was engaged in rare event: purchasing a new game that I might actually play. I looked upon the shelf, next to the sloppily produced Dragon Warrior Monsters (oh god, not another one of these) laid a lone copy of Final Fantasy IV (FF II on SNES). Filled with nostalgia from my childhood, I couldn’t let this opportunity to relive my past go. I had to buy it, no matter how bad it could possibly be. After all, gaming’s history is marred with inadequate remakes, taking one’s childhood memo...
The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay (Xbox)

The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay review (XBX)

Reviewed on July 30, 2005

Murderers and rapists, women and children, entire families and pets have all been murdered indiscriminately and left with slit throats, broken necks, and bullets through their heads while blood adorns nearby walls with no one to blame. Maybe this could be a testament to the greatness of a skilled bounty hunter. For Riddick, this is just another day at the office.
Chaos Legion (PlayStation 2)

Chaos Legion review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 18, 2005

Chaos Legion isn’t for the regular man. Regular men break down and cry in its mere presence; its difficulty is something to behold. Most gamers give up, throw the towel in and scratch off Chaos Legion as just another lame brawler. Why not? Hordes of unfettered beasts assault us from so many sides it’s almost claustrophobic. They eat away at our health relentlessly with their feral attacks until we’re nothing more than a limp mass of torn flesh and tattered cloth. We’re left with nothing m...
Mobile Light Force 2 (PlayStation 2)

Mobile Light Force 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 08, 2005

Mobile Light Force 2 is one of those cheesy ‘bullet’ shooters that come along, do absolutely nothing new with the genre, and are only remembered for bombarding the player with an unimaginable number of, well, bullets. That’s probably because shooters like this don’t really have much to hang their hat on, so the developers use an incessant barrage of red and purple lasers as means to supplant actual game play. You know, making the game enjoyable or trying to do something new isn’t a concern of t...
Devil May Cry 2 (PlayStation 2)

Devil May Cry 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on March 27, 2005

Devil May Cry 2 is an underwhelming sequel in every respect. From its sloppy presentation to its water-downed game play, we’ll be only left to wonder what possessed Capcom to make such a lousy follow up to their original smash hit. Maybe the blame shouldn’t lie with Capcom, rather the fans that could be found pouting in their rooms after repeatedly dying to the same clan of scythe-wielding monstrosities all night long. They whined and wished that the game wasn’t so difficult since they clearly l...
Defenders of Oasis (Game Gear)

Defenders of Oasis review (GG)

Reviewed on February 22, 2005

The Gamegear was practically devoid of any RPG’s except for around 20 some, about a fifth of which came stateside. Defenders of Oasis was a RPG that happened to get lucky and find a publisher that brought it to the states. There are no idiosyncrasies that lift Defenders of Oasis above and beyond other turn based RPGS that were out at the time. It’s simply just a game that’s both brief and entertaining. Definitely worthy of your time.
Gauntlet II (NES)

Gauntlet II review (NES)

Reviewed on February 17, 2005

The name Gauntlet couldn’t have been more appropriate. What we have here is nothing more than some palette-swapped dungeons that we force our reckless heroes through while being assaulted by a never-ending myriad of blood-hungry denizens. Gauntlet didn’t start anything revolutionary here folks; this concept of infinite monsters and randomly created dungeons has been around for quite a while before Atari added some spices to the mix.
R-Type Final (PlayStation 2)

R-Type Final review (PS2)

Reviewed on February 13, 2005

The Bydo Empire has been terrorizing the universe since about mid-eighties now and had no plans to stop. Well, that was until Irem decided to end the shooter series R-type with one last game. My incorrigible side didn’t want to believe such nonsense “One of the greatest series in shooter history just can’t end can it?” Much to my dismay, I’d look like I was only getting one more go around against the Bydo Empire and all their evil machinations.
Resident Evil 4 (GameCube)

Resident Evil 4 review (GCN)

Reviewed on January 22, 2005

Maybe things would’ve been better if he stayed home.
Silpheed: The Lost Planet (PlayStation 2)

Silpheed: The Lost Planet review (PS2)

Reviewed on January 09, 2005

Silpheed: Playstation 2’s shooter that fell short?
Einhander (PlayStation)

Einhander review (PSX)

Reviewed on September 17, 2004

In an age where mundane RPGs and over-the-top sequels rule the market, it’s rare to even hear the word ‘3D shooter’ out of any gamer’s mouth. The genre that had its golden days back on the Genesis is seldom heard of anymore. When put against the newest Final Fantasy or Silent hill, the old-school game play style simply cannot compete. Most gamers would rather aid the newest fifteen-year-old protagonist through puberty and first kisses than mop the floor with screen-sized space denizens from a di...
Myst (Jaguar CD)

Myst review (JCD)

Reviewed on June 14, 2004

If you've ever heard someone scrutinizing Myst, you've probably witnessed some loser running to its defense with an inane comment along these lines: “Well, it's really good for what it is.” What is Myst exactly? I'll synopsize the whole game for you: You take a pointer and you click around while collecting clues. Is there something revolutionary and pioneering that I am missing here? Call me ignorant, even go to the extent of calling me a condescending fool, but I'm lost on why people find this ...
Hellfire (Genesis)

Hellfire review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 01, 2004

An enormous, glistening beam of amplified power decimating helpless henchmen after henchmen aptly named “Hellfire” wrecks and ravages all who stands in its way. At this point in your life, nothing can go wrong; you’re obliterating useless pawn after useless pawn with this catastrophic beam. But then suddenly, your ship is torn into bits of intergalactic debris by nothing more than a lone bullet. An abrupt, feral rage takes complete control and you end up breaking your controller (or keyboard) be...
Contra (NES)

Contra review (NES)

Reviewed on March 07, 2004

Back in the glory days, when video games came in cardboard boxes and Dr. Phil didn't exist, there were games that two people could play forever competitively. Duck Hunt would prove itself competitive as two people would put their dignity on the line just to say they shot more ducks than the next man. An obscure baseball game entitled Dusty Diamonds would be a blast for hours on end with its simple, yet entertaining, game play.
Abadox (NES)

Abadox review (NES)

Reviewed on February 12, 2004

IMPENDING MIDGET PUN
Conan: The Mysteries of Time (NES)

Conan: The Mysteries of Time review (NES)

Reviewed on January 23, 2004

Have you ever been in a serious situation and just started laughing for no apparent reason? You just find amusement in something that’s to be taken seriously but it just comes off as funny. I’ve had situations like this, such as a friend falling of a ledge and breaking a few the bones in his body. I sat over him laughing at his foolishness. You know it’s wrong to laugh, but, hell, you live the moment up and make him feel even stupider about his mistake.

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