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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by kingbroccoli and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Final Fantasy X (PlayStation 2)

Final Fantasy X review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 30, 2004

Final Fantasy X reached down a mighty, benevolent hand and pulled a faltering series from the tepid water in which it was drowning. Years of terrible indiscretions were forgotten in an instant, as the epic quest of Tidus and Yuna banished former Final Fantasy failures to the backs of minds everywhere. Earlier instalments of this perennial series had been keen to show off a “newfound maturity”, bombarding us with hour upon hour of overbearing melodrama, and “romances” seemingly plucked from the p...
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! (NES)

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! review (NES)

Reviewed on July 12, 2004

Most gaming protagonists do not need our help, for they have been blessed with the skills, weapons, physique and mentality to win at all costs. They strut about the screen, preening and flexing and sneering dismissively at all who dare inhabit their personal space. Look at these heroes! Solid Snake’s only true obstacles are the hundreds of girls who flock after him, Cloud Strife fears nothing but a bad hair day, and Mario can barely sneeze without knocking a dozen Bowser’s into a pool of molten ...
NHL '98 (PlayStation)

NHL '98 review (PSX)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

There comes a time in every reviewers life when he has to defy common sense, shut down a large portion of his brain and dive into the neon trash-can that is franchise sports. EA Sports is generally the main offender, churning out the same mindless rubbish year after year, and it just so happens that they are behind the NHL hockey series! NHL ’98 was my introduction to the sleazy world of fast-paced action and 12-month updates, and I can’t see my intrigue stretching much further after what I’ve w...
God of Thunder (PC)

God of Thunder review (PC)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

Usually the excitement that surrounds a free game lasts from the time the download starts, to the time the game actually begins. It certainly may be a big buzz to be able to experience a game for the price of nothing, but eventually reality sinks in and you realise that there is a reason why the game is considered valueless. God of Thunder is an exception, split into three parts, and each individual section offering some great gaming, its value as a giver of entertainment far outreaches its non-...
3D Movie Maker (PC)

3D Movie Maker review (PC)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

If you're the kind who just loves getting out there and making your own home movies, but find your scope limited by the low-quality of your mummy's camcorder, then Microsoft may just have the right little tool for you! What they've given us access to is 3D Movie Maker, a simple but effective program that can easily convey that maelstrom of ideas floating about in that (beautiful) head of yours. Hosted by a purple, Scottish directorial type named McZee (most likely an off-shoot from the Barney fa...
Kirby's Dream Land 2 (Game Boy)

Kirby's Dream Land 2 review (GB)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

“Kirby! Your arch-enemy King Dedede has been possessed! You must save him!”
Super Mario Advance (Game Boy Advance)

Super Mario Advance review (GBA)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

Super Mario Advance, a dual Mario game, has crashed onto the fledgling Game Boy Advance system with a moderate amount of style. This cartridge contains two old ''classics'', Super Mario Bros. 2 and the absolutely ancient Mario Bros. These two games meld together to make a gaming experience that is at times endearing, but ultimately unfulfilling.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Game Boy Advance)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone review (GBA)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

Yet another eerie hallway looms in front of you. You creep down it - ever so slowly - daring not to make a noise. Hideous gargoyles and grotesque oil paintings line the walls, making you wish you hadn’t left your invisibility cloak tucked away in the sock drawer. It’s quiet...too quiet. You can’t hear a thing above the frantic racing of your heartbeat, its rhythmic pounding even managing to drown out the chattering of your teeth. You extend a cold, clammy hand and grasp the doorknob in front of ...
Syphon Filter 3 (PlayStation)

Syphon Filter 3 review (PSX)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

Rarely in the history of gaming has there been a more apt name for a particular game's character than Gabriel Logan. The star of the Syphon Filter franchise can indeed flit around any given landscape with the grace and agility of an archangel and, when the time comes, emerge from the wilderness and tear his unsuspecting opponents opponents apart with the ferocity of a wolverine. The first two Syphon Filter outings were major successes due largely to this intuitive combination of espionage and ac...
Final Fantasy VIII (PlayStation)

Final Fantasy VIII review (PSX)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

As the sun sets and dusk approaches, the two tribes draw near. They're shouting, brandishing weapons, and waving silk banners of all kinds of colours. As they get closer the din rises, and insults that would strip paint off a wall are hurled backwards and forwards. Blood is going to be spilt.
Mortal Kombat II (Genesis)

Mortal Kombat II review (GEN)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

I'm not here to lambast Mortal Kombat II for its ridiculous interpretations of the laws of physics. Some might call it nitpicking, if I were to rebuke the game for the way it's characters move as if underwater, throwing themselves around the combat arena with careless abandon, lazily sticking a leg out behind them in a vain attempt to undo their opponents. Surely it would be unjust if I were to classify MKII on the way the shadows of the combatants lift off the ground on occasion, and constantly...
Batman Returns (Genesis)

Batman Returns review (GEN)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

The Gotham City I know is a source of mystery and wonderment. It’s an eclectic amalgamation of monolithic skyscrapers, scraping the heavens with their neon trappings; and shadowy alleys, where the hefty criminal element lurks. Countless lights punctuate the night sky – giving the desolate streets a highly misleading impression of safety - but one punctuates harder than a dozen consecutive exclamation marks. It’s a majestic motif, emblazoning itself powerfully against the stars, calling the city’...
Conker's Bad Fur Day (Nintendo 64)

Conker's Bad Fur Day review (N64)

Reviewed on July 09, 2004

Yes, you can laugh as Conker the Squirrel lurches on-screen and slices the hapless 64 logo in half. You can laugh your silly little brains out for all I care. But should you not also stop and use those shrivelled brains to think for a moment? Yes you jolly well should, ignoramus! That poor logo is just as much a motif – a telling symbol of the game to come – as it is a comic device, and don’t you forget it. Conker’s Bad Fur Day is the Norman Bates of video games. It is a game full of halves and ...
Super Mario Kart (SNES)

Super Mario Kart review (SNES)

Reviewed on June 29, 2004

I want you to be my friend. I want you in my house, right now. We can intertwine our bodies on my patchwork beanbag every night and together we’ll while away the hours. There will be no pain, there will be no confrontation; there will be only the sunshine that can come when you look into the eyes of another and know deep down that they’re feeling you.
Ecco The Dolphin (Genesis)

Ecco The Dolphin review (GEN)

Reviewed on June 29, 2004

Games about dolphins are for wimps. I’m too busy exuding machismo to be flouncing about the ocean with creatures too puny to hang with the whales, too docile to swim with the sharks. Game’s like Ecco the Dolphin are made by the girls, for the girls; and it’s unfortunate that men like me get caught in the wimpy crossfire. Yeah, I’ve played Ecco the Dolphin. I could have been driving really fast, or busting phat skateboard tricks like the hardcore dude I am. Instead, I flipped a flipper and went f...
TimeSplitters 2 (PlayStation 2)

TimeSplitters 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Oh no! The TimeSplitters are back! But let's face it, if anyone had the pleasure of playing the first instalment of the TimeSplitters series they'd know that these title characters proved to be the most useless of adversaries. It was as if they were added to the mix as an afterthought, in the game solely to give the single player mode a feeling of continuity. Well they're back anyway, and it appears that the 'Splitters have spent some serious time in the gym over the last couple of years or so. ...
TimeSplitters (PlayStation 2)

TimeSplitters review (PS2)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Once upon a time a mystical group of people called Rare made a mystical game called Goldeneye and a lot of people liked it, everyone was happy. But one day darkness fell over the land of Rareware, an evil sorceror and his followers ran away to forge their own kingdom, they called it Free Radical. These people have made their very own FPS and it goes by the name of TimeSplitters, one of the most fast-paced frantic shooters to grace any console so far. Although it doesn't have much competition so ...
The Sims (PlayStation 2)

The Sims review (PS2)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

So there I was, as usual, crouched on my bedroom floor and playing some newfangled video games. All of a sudden, the door opens and this family (my own, presumably) trudge in, a united front. The father figure opens his greasy chops. Apparently some expert over in parliament has done a wee bit of research on my favourite pastime, and it turns out that sitting in ones room for twenty hours of the day can create what they call “anti-social” tendencies. Bollocks to that, thought I, but who was I to...
The Getaway (PlayStation 2)

The Getaway review (PS2)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

If the vibrating function of my dual-shock controller was still alive today (which it isn’t, thanks Sony!) then I’m sure it would quake uncontrollably every time my copy of The Getaway finds its way into my PS2.
Tekken Tag Tournament (PlayStation 2)

Tekken Tag Tournament review (PS2)

Reviewed on April 25, 2004

Tekken was one of the first PSX games ever released, and the whole Tekken trilogy has become one of the most famous gaming franchises around. It should come as no surprise that one of the PS2 launch games was in fact a Tekken game, a port of the arcade game Tekken Tag Tournament. It keeps the same basic Tekken gameplay, but introduces the ability to tag in a partner along with a whole lot of flashy graphics and an absolute truckload of playable characters. I've seen more original concepts in one...

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