Reviews by goldenvortex

Super Fantasy Zone review

Despite being average at its core, Super Fantasy Zone certainly possesses a unique charm and pleasant aesthetics. Taking a similar structure as its predecessor, Super Fantasy Zone combines the cartoonish buoyancy of any 16-bit platform…

goldenvortex · February 1, 2009

Reader Sega 32X

Zaxxon's Motherbase 2000 review

To this day, I have no idea why I'm a 32x fan. I mean, I know the entire concept of the 32x was stupid and that the majority of the 32x game library (if you can call it a library. I think bookshelf would be a more appropriate description)…

goldenvortex · July 28, 2008

Reader Sega CD

INXS: Make My Video review

Now, I’ve only played a handful of games that I’d describe as truly awful. These games were either unplayable due to horrible controls, an awful grasp of the subject matter or they were just plain boring. However, despite my exposure to…

goldenvortex · July 10, 2008

Reader Arcade Review of the Week

Splatterhouse review

Before games were considered a form of violent stimuli, even before the Mortal Kombat Kontroversy, there was Splatterhouse… Sadly, my first memory of this game (and the following series) came not from a sneaky arcade experience or quick…

goldenvortex · February 5, 2008

Reader Genesis

Primal Rage review

Blood! Gore! Dinosaurs!!! What more could a pre-teen want in a fighting game? As an innocent nine-year old, I saw Primal Rage as an infinite taboo. At a glance, it seemed to take Mortal Kombat, a game rife with controversy, and replaced…

goldenvortex · May 19, 2007

Reader Atari 2600

Custer's Revenge review

If anyone finds Custer's Revenge disturbing, horrible or anything other than hilarious, then you've clearly got issues with your sense of humour. Sure, as far as games go, it's crap but when people tell me that it's tasteless, I just tell…

goldenvortex · May 19, 2007

Reader GameCube

Super Mario Sunshine review

To be blunt, I hated Nintendo’s approach to a 3-D Mario game. The idea of playing through the same level eight times, isn’t exactly my idea of a fun game. Super Mario 64 is one of the most popular Mario titles, and arguably, games of all…

goldenvortex · March 21, 2007

Reader PlayStation

Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee review

Does anyone remember Abe? It seems that developers Oddworld Inhabitants have misplaced him, and his absence has indirectly affected the company in some way. Oddworld: Stranger hit shelves in the Spring of 2005, and despite being critically…

goldenvortex · March 7, 2007

Reader Genesis

Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind review

9/10… As I sifted through my dire collection of reviewing mistakes, one stood out more than others. It was an old and messy review for Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind. Here it said: “Warning: Not for the short tempered!! The…

goldenvortex · March 7, 2007

Reader SNES

The Legend of the Mystical Ninja review

While Goemon himself is rather recognisable, it’s pretty hard to actually pin down where you’ve seen him before. Since I’m a Brit, the only Goemon games that I can actually play are this one and its sequel on the N64, due to the fact that…

goldenvortex · January 12, 2007

Reader DS

WarioWare: Touched! review

The DS started Nintendo's incredibly irritating use of pathetic innuendos. While people are now ecstatic about playing with their Wii's and the Wii's of others in public, a year ago, they were obsessed with “touching”, “stroking” and…

goldenvortex · December 8, 2006

Reader NES Review of the Week

Kickle Cubicle review

I...I don’t know what to say. Kickle Cubicle is weird. I’ve played weird games before. Oh, I’ve fought Hilter in Advanced Daisenryaku, I became a woman in X-Change and I’ve even ran around in pyjamas and beat people up with a hash pipe in…

goldenvortex · November 24, 2006

Reader DS

Kirby: Canvas Curse review

Now, if you break down the key components of the DS, it's fair to say that Nintendo's gimmick-machine is either going to use its features either just for the hell of it or to use its tools do to what it was supposed to. Nintendo's current…

goldenvortex · November 9, 2006

Reader Game Boy

Pokemon Red review

The Hype (Don’t believe) Now, about a decade or so ago, this review would be gushing with praise. Chances are that it very well could’ve been the most positive review of anything to grace the internet. It would’ve had its head so far up…

goldenvortex · October 18, 2006

Reader SNES

Out of This World review

If you haven’t heard of Out of this World, then clearly you know very little about games. Back in the day, Out of this World was a creative triumph, merging action, strategy and adventure into one solid product. It mixed complex puzzles…

goldenvortex · October 17, 2006

Reader DS

Feel the Magic: XY/XX review

Stylish. Entertaining. Creative. These are three buzz-words that usually surround any DS game that makes extensive use of its features. Now, some of the time, this can be completely true, see: Kirby’s Power Paintbrush for more details. On…

goldenvortex · September 4, 2006

Reader PlayStation 2

Drakengard 2 review

Despite the fact that Drakengard 2 has progressed a lot, it’s a boring experience that lurks in the shadow of the original. The gloomy atmosphere, the doomed and melancholic characters and the path of despair that game led you down were…

goldenvortex · August 28, 2006

Reader Genesis

Golden Axe III review

Don't mistake Golden Axe III for a cheap cash-in on a popular series or a generic brawler. It's something more than just that. It takes the standard formula of the original, adds two new characters, a load of awesome combos and the ability…

goldenvortex · August 23, 2006

Reader DS

Yoshi Touch & Go review

The Test begins…….NOW! Yoshi’s Touch & Go! would’ve made a pretty good demo, test or one of those beta roms that you find of older games. That’s what it certainly feels like, something that isn’t yet completed. Poor you, Nintendo. You took…

goldenvortex · August 3, 2006

Reader GameCube

The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures review

Why do Nintendo always do this? Always. The Legend of the Zelda: The Wind Waker was nothing short of a classic. It provided us with the same magical atmosphere that Ocarina of Time introduced us to in 1998 but made that magic a little…

goldenvortex · July 28, 2006