Review Archives (All Reviews)

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	Home Alone 2: Lost in New York review (PC) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 A lot of the things wrong with America seem to be Macaulay Culkin's fault in some way. Thanks to The Pagemaster, kids are turned off from reading books. Ted Danson, a respectable actor even when paired with Kirstie ''Ugly-As-Sin Ice Queen'' Alley on Cheers, never fully recovered from the repeated blows to the groin and spleen that came together to form Getting Even With Dad. Macaulay Culkin was also the first child star I remember watching - almost voyeuristically, it seems - as he slid freely a...
	Daze Before Christmas review (SNES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 All around us, people are heralding the joyous events occurring roundabout the end of December. Families are dragging tangled balls of lights and fragile ornaments from their attics; perennial Christmas movies and specials are already littering the TV networks; the video game industry is gearing up for a projected season of record-setting sales with state-of-the-art new action blockbusters and fantastic RPGs. Me, I've been doing something GameFAQs regulars might appreciate but that the average l...
	Tom and Jerry review (SNES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 From the Book of Snow Dragon, Volume XLIV, chapter 2, verses 18-22, row 4, seat J:
	Beethoven: The Ultimate Canine Caper review (SNES) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 1992-1993 is my personal Golden Age of gaming. Sure, those who can legally buy their own booze and tobacco may pine for the days of shooting rocks floating out in space from the tenuous safety of a triangular space cruiser while those who are just now celebrating the growth of hair in certain areas might rue the passing of that long-gone dynasty where Cloud Strife and Co. ruled the GameFAQs Top 10 and their PlayStations with an iron fist. For me, though, 1992 and 1993 were a duo blessed by the H...
	The Sims review (PS2) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 When I reviewed Animal Crossing some eight months ago (that long?), I gave it a 10 based on how well it did what it set out to do - that is, simulate life - and on first impressions, and the game succeeded spectacularly in that regard. However, I failed to take into account the fact that if social lives could be tangibly measured, you would need one as a grain of sand to truly derive any redeemable value from it, and in essence I made myself look like a total fool. However, I am now older and wi...
	Monster Rancher 3 review (PS2) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 When your parents stuff you and your siblings into your clown car of a family sedan and drive you hundreds, thousands of miles even, to a colony where Amish people still churn butter, take the reins of horse-drawn buggies and have barn raisings on at least a weekly basis, they're trying to prove something to you. And that something is that life wasn't always so easy. The Internet hasn't been around forever, cell phones weren't so prevalent even a decade ago, and you had to put your waffles in th...
	Bombastic review (PS2) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Rarely is the justice bestowed upon sleeper hits that they truly deserve. Month in and month out, unsung hits fly under the radar of the gaming public at large. Whose fault this is, it's difficult to say. Are magazines covering the wrong games, or are players not looking hard enough for the silver linings? Five years ago, an obscure puzzler named Devil Dice came to the PlayStation and starred a diminutive imp, more cutesy than malevolent, who rotated dice with a nifty shuffle of his feet and cou...
	Legend of Mana review (PSX) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 When a true genius appears in this world, you may know him by this sign, that all the dunces shall be in confederacy against him.''
	Bushido Blade 2 review (PSX) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Among the annals of the Internet is a sweet website called Swords Online. There they have knives, daggers, and all other manner of pointy objects designed both for inflicting pain and showing off on the fireplace mantel. Swords from all eras of time are on the website as well, including some from the samurai age featured predominantly in this game. When I see some of the swords, daggers, and lances displayed on Swords Online, my mind naturally turns to this game. Bushido Blade 2 is a ballet of b...
	Pokemon Snap review (N64) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 If I'm prey to anything, it's a good marketing ploy. And what a whizzbanger this one is! Pokémon Snap (Nintendo, 1999) follows the path of milking the pocket monster cash cow - or rodent, as it were - with little diversion from time-tested formulas. Aimed toward very small children who think that an N64 controller is a highfalutin teething ring, it's basically a photo safari on wheels, as you take the helm in a spherical steel vehicle that looks somewhat like a gold Pokéball with a headlight int...
	Sonic the Hedgehog Spinball review (GEN) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Smell that? Mmmm ..... sludge from the nearby subterranean cave network. Kid tested, mother approved. The first level of the game drenches you in the stuff, or at least puts it in very near proximity to your fragile body. You get an innocent enough introduction for such a quirky game: Sonic and Tails dip low in their trademark biplane to take out Robotnik's impossibly large fortress of doom, though in the twinkling of an eye, they're cleanly and mercilessly shot down. Tails manages to steer the ...
	Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama review (GEN) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 To call it a lapse of good judgment on my part would be a sickening understatement, because believe it or not, I actually had high hopes for Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama (Electronic Arts, 1994). When a friend shows you such an off-the-wall game, there is an innate obligation to play it and see what it's like just to appease your friend's desires. This is what happened to me as I sat helplessly behind a barrage of praise including phrases like ''This game is hilarious'', ''You'll love this game that...
	Ka-Ge-Ki: Fists of Steel review (GEN) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 After hesitantly accepting the HANGEDMAN CHALLENGE, I figured out why this game is called Ka Ge Ki. To understand the title better, one must break these three two-letter words down and investigate them individually.
	MLB SlugFest 20-03 review (GCN) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 To the best of my foggy recollection, baseball was invented in the late 19th century as the result of a bet between James Naismith and Abner Cooperstown to see who could come up with the manlier sport. Naismith, of course, had the foresight to see past the peach baskets and ladders and realize what great media scandals and bad video games Allen Iverson and Shaquille O'Neal would spawn, respectively. That man was a genius. The best Abner could come up with off the top of his head was Darryl Straw...
	Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour review (GCN) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour doesn't take itself seriously. Seeing as how last time I checked, Nintendo was still aiming for the fetal-to-crawling demographic, there's no reason why it should. The first game it reminded me of was the excellent Hot Shots Golf on the original PlayStation. That was the first game I can recall that made a cartoon out of the sport and yet still succeeded in being a magnificent simulation of the real thing. Now, here we are more than half a decade later, graced with a s...
	WarioWare, Inc: Mega Microgame$! review (GBA) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Do you have a short attention span? Do long, drawn-out adventures like Final Fantasy X hold your interest for a while and then gather dust on a lonely shelf with the rest of your unfinished games? Do you take pills because a talking head in a white coat brainwashed you and your parents into believing that your hyperactivity inhibits all normal interaction with society? If so, then you may not know it yet, but Wario Ware Inc.: Mega Microgames is screaming to you from the confines of its glass dis...
	Super Street Fighter II Turbo: Revival review (GBA) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 If anything, Super Street Fighter II Turbo Revival (Capcom, 2001) takes home the award for longest name of a Street Fighter game. Why, slap on some EX + Alpha Double Third Strike Zero X and you've got yourself a bona fide super jam-packed fighter! However, it's easy to see how such a game would be overlooked, seeing as how many people have already played SSF2 at some point in their lives if they dare to claim to be anything of a Street Fighter fan. This is in addition to the fact that many peopl...
	Monster Rancher Advance review (GBA) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Monster Rancher is a series that has enjoyed a smooth ride with very few major hitches, and it is possibly even more of a smash hit than Pokemon or Yu-Gi-Oh if you consider that it has met with prosperity despite lacking any hype or a successful cartoon (obviously a very important quality) to back it up. Though there have been so many variations implemented as to make the games more suited to highly eclectic tastes, overall the trilogy and its spinoffs have been well-received by critics and high...
	Tetris Attack review (GB) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 Some months back, I took a look at Tetris Attack, one of the greatest puzzlers to honor a 16-bit platform with its presence. Branded as a Tetris game but strangely infested by Yoshi and his weird friends, it would have been one bland puzzler save for one great feature: the ability to eliminate groups of at least three blocks, causing the ones above it to fall to the nearest stable ground. This opened up the possibilities of simultaneous multiple completed sets. When set up correctly, you could s...
	Donkey Kong review (GB) Reviewed on December 09, 2003 In the first level, you progressed upward through a series of tiers while bounding over barrels and swinging a hammer - your only line of defense against the unstoppable rolling barrel squadron.

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