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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Guilty Gear XX (Arcade)

Guilty Gear XX review (ARC)

Reviewed on January 08, 2004

Tread carefully, young gamers, for you are entering dangerous territory. You may THINK you are prepared for Guilty Gear XX, but you are wrong. You may be tournament-worthy in several games that house the ''Street Fighter'' name. You can manhandle the competition in a variety of games created by those 3 mystical initials ''SNK''. You may even perform wondrous feats of acrobatic aggression that span three dimensions in the combative worlds of Namco, Sega, and Tecmo. But to assume that a company su...
reverend's avatar
Toki (NES)

Toki review (NES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2004

Toki is an ape. He even walks like one, and it's an endearing trait. I was pretty impressed by the genuine monkey gait he gets into, especially when he's going down a slight grade, and you see his little legs adjust and buckle as they work down the incline. It's a really cool sight, and it had me smiling. Speaking of smiling, Toki smiles a wide, gap-toothed grin after clearing a level, which looks a little bit like this: =B
Masters's avatar
Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES)

Super Mario Bros. 3 review (NES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2004

We miss the point. The majority of the video game demographic is comprised of young males, so it's no wonder. We are a petty, short-sighted, goal-oriented animal. When Brad asks Sheila, ''how was the sex?'' she replies emotionally, ''an hour of wondrous lovemaking,'' seemingly putting her whole being into the response. Even so, Brad won’t be impressed: ''but did you come?''
Masters's avatar
Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES)

Super Mario Bros. 2 review (NES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2004

The story is a departure from standard Mario fare. Bowser's off making kids with a mysterious sperm receptacle of a woman (the guy's like Michael Jackson - he doesn't keep the poor mother around). The demented offspring of the unsavory union would later help him rule with an iron fist in SMB3. So, to amuse himself in his nemesis's absence, Mario enlists the help of his friends: gangly green-clad brother Luigi; the stocky, mushroom-domed Toad, and the ''I can too fight just like the boys - see I'm not the quarry this time'' Princess Toadstool.
Masters's avatar
Star Soldier (NES)

Star Soldier review (NES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2004

Right away, fast moving enemies cascade down the screen. You’ll see the inspiration for the follow up game, Super Star Soldier for the Turbografx-16 (well, obviously), but also for Blazing Lazers for that same system. You'll play this game and think, ''the vertical shooter genre hasn't come very far, has it? Star Soldier had it all!'' That's very high praise you're giving out, you know. But other than the fact that variety is lacking, and there’s no real ending, it’s true. Star Soldier does appear to have it all - Hudson Soft be praised.
Masters's avatar
Shinobi (NES)

Shinobi review (NES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2004

Tengen makes us laugh right away, however unintentionally. The title screen is supposed to feature the face of our hero, beneath the traditional black ninja mask. His expression should be menacing, confident, his eyes should communicate this to us. Instead, Tengen has him slightly cross-eyed, beady-eyed, and wholly lacking proper pupils. You think to yourself, ''man, if they can’t get this right…''
Masters's avatar
Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom (NES)

Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom review (NES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2004

Ninja Gaiden 2 was as beautiful as NES platformers come! Well, understandably, Ryu hasn’t changed - his sprite is virtually identical in all three games. Most of the enemies are different naturally, and they’re a decent bunch, the mostly mindless menagerie comprised mainly of zombie types and robots. Sadly, there are no high-kicking Karatekas knocking you off cliffs, or afro wearing boxers doing the same. The game has a decidedly futuristic tilt, and as such, it's robots, robots, robots, with a good deal of alien weirdness thrown in for good measure.
Masters's avatar
Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos (NES)

Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos review (NES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2004

Wrestle with darkness, dancing flames and an airborne android in the mysterious Tower of Lahja before beginning the fourth leg of the journey, where waters flow eternally and Naga Sotuva lives on, a blasphemous embodiment of dinosaurs out of time. Defeat him, and face permeating cold and ice and spikes, the unwelcome mat to the seemingly premature placement for the final confrontation with Ashtar. But indeed this is the evil place where he quietly, hermetically awaits your company, as if birthed from his dark womb that crackles with deathly energy.
Masters's avatar
Ninja Gaiden (NES)

Ninja Gaiden review (NES)

Reviewed on January 07, 2004

If you’ve played the arcade game with the same name, forget what you’ve seen. The Double Dragon-esque play and look of that somewhat overhead coin-op has been replaced by straight up side-scrolling swashbuckling and a massive dose of taxing platform-leaping. If Super Mario Brothers is your nemesis, you may well forget about taking on the Jaquio and his forces - you’ll be sliced and diced, dropped into bottomless pits and, despite unlimited continues, you will curse and beset upon your controller with intent to kill.
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Minesweeper (PC)

Minesweeper review (PC)

Reviewed on January 06, 2004

I've got too much time on my hands, and I don't know what to do with it all
retro's avatar
Klax (NES)

Klax review (NES)

Reviewed on January 05, 2004

Some people are just so desperate to get rich quick, even if it means stealing another person's idea. The makers of Klax seemed to have an intention of cashing in on the success of the puzzle game that took the world by a raging storm, Tetris. If I didn't know any better, I'd assume that they did a poor job of cloning Tetris and getting rich off of it, since I'm the first one to review Klax for the NES on this massive site.
retro's avatar
Magmax (NES)

Magmax review (NES)

Reviewed on January 03, 2004

Magmax allows you to go nowhere fast. I wasn’t aware that the game was one of those simplistic early looping shooters until it registered in my laser-riddled brain that my glazed eyes had been seeing the same backgrounds pass by, over and over and over…
Masters's avatar
Life Force (NES)

Life Force review (NES)

Reviewed on January 03, 2004

Take on a massive brain/Cyclops, press through tight spots raining volcanic rock, and reach the famous fire level. It might not look like much these days, but the raging, pseudo-sentient arcing flames were a technological marvel at the time of the game’s release. Was the NES really doing this? Yes, it was, and it still is.
Masters's avatar
Kung Fu (NES)

Kung Fu review (NES)

Reviewed on January 03, 2004

The little guys are midgets clad in green, who do an admirable job of keeping pace with the huggers. The first time you see them, you might think to yourself, ''hey, the huggers brought their kids to work,'' or something like that. At least, that's what I thought. I thought the whole idea of having these little guys involved in the fight was slightly disturbing. Are they child soldiers? Or is the game poking fun at midgets? Who can tell?
Masters's avatar
Gradius (NES)

Gradius review (NES)

Reviewed on January 03, 2004

From deep space and the theme that accompanies it, we fly full tilt into the earthly environs of level one. Dormant volcanoes line the ground, until at last, one volcano proves to be active, and violently so. Hide, and pray, and shoot, and survive the angry magma to fight Gradius' only boss (outside of the final one, snicker. More on him later). A nondescript ship faces off with you on the right of the screen and moves up and down, loosing volleys of slivery blue lasers. The same pattern is necessary for every level when he greets you. Take his eye out for the first time in level one, knowing that it won’t be the last.
Masters's avatar
Light Crusader (Genesis)

Light Crusader review (GEN)

Reviewed on January 01, 2004

As gaming has progressed through the years, new technology has enabled us to play new concepts which were not possible before. Platformers and shooters suddenly accommodated a third dimension for us to explore with the invention of the thirty-two-bit era. Many new options seems available to developers with each release and us gamers can look forward to several new ground breaking games each year.
djy8c's avatar
The Simpsons: Hit & Run (GameCube)

The Simpsons: Hit & Run review (GCN)

Reviewed on January 01, 2004

Gamecube owners, take note of Simpsons: Hit & Run, the newest Simpsons game by Radical that, in following with its predecessor Road Rage, takes some other company's smash hit and puts a distinctly Springfieldian spin on it. The victim this time: Grand Theft Auto III.
snowdragon's avatar
ESPN NHL Hockey (Xbox)

ESPN NHL Hockey review (XBX)

Reviewed on January 01, 2004

I was with a group of friends at a party, the Xbox was set up, and the owner of the system owned the game as well. We settled down, got comfortable, and got ready for some two-on-two action. I'll stop you right there: we were fully clothed. I promise. Back to hockey then?
Masters's avatar
Acid Drop (Atari 2600)

Acid Drop review (A2600)

Reviewed on January 01, 2004

Today’s topic in the wide world of Atari 2600 reviewing is a true oddity. Salu’s 1992... yes 1992... release, Acid Drop. Apparently, the Atari 2600 still had a following in Europe in the early 90s, and Salu released several titles during this period. Acid Drop was a clone of the1990 Genesis release, Columns. How well did the classic puzzler transfer to the limited hardware of the Atari 2600? Well, to be sure, Acid Drop is a mixed bag. The gameplay itself ...
ddsilver's avatar
Barnstorming (Atari 2600)

Barnstorming review (A2600)

Reviewed on January 01, 2004

Steve Cartwright, of Activision brings us the focus of our discussion today, Barnstorming. This was Cartwright's freshman effort for Activision, and it turned out pretty well for him. Steve Cartwright went on to have an incredible career in video game programming, and this game was a brilliant start. Cartwright really knew how to coax maximum performance from the Atari 2600.
ddsilver's avatar

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