Review Archives (All Reviews)

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	Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines review (PC) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 ''Okay men, it doesn't look good... Our spy got killed trying to steal an enemy uniform. Our truck was blown up with our driver in it. The marine and me are left stranded in this building, and the sapper and the sniper are left hiding in the ruins, with an enemy patrol heading straight for them. There's only one thing for it....''
	Connections review (PC) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 There are some words that, while individually appear harmless, placed together make a terrifying combination. It's like putting ingredients for a bomb together, or something. One of those words is 'Educational'. Sure, it may bring up memories of days at school where the teacher who you know hated you more than everyone else made you read your 'F' grade homework to the class, after which the school bully hung you up by the underpants, but as a word it's not all that offensive. Another word is 'ga...
	Dungeon Keeper review (PC) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 Most games cast you as a simpering, whiter-than-white hero, who (most RPG games excepting) has virtually no character flaws and is always tall and handsome, or thin and pretty. The sort of people who in real life everyone would just hate ! And so it is with great pleasure that I tell you that Dungeon Keeper by Bullfrog encourages you to bring merry hell upon these people, and then some. At last, justice is served.... on a platter!
	The Curse of Monkey Island review (PC) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 A quick recap: (This paragraph contains MAJOR SPOILERS for the first 2 Monkey Island Games - you have been warned). The Monkey Island saga features Guybrush Threepwood, a young pirate, LeChuck, his undead nemesis, and Elaine, his true love. In the first game, Guybrush is a fairly young boy who wants to become a pirate. You take control as Guybrush arrives on Mêlèe Island, hoping to achieve this lofty goal. While on the island he meets and falls in love with Elaine Marley, the governor of the isl...
	The Secret of Monkey Island review (PC) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 It would be easy to simply fill this review up with pirate-y puns and lame pirate or monkey related jokes (after all, that's what the game did). I'll try my best not to though!
	Burai Fighter review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 ...Okay, maybe R-Type wasn't the best comparison, but it's close. Think Forgotten Worlds - that's more like it. Burai Fighter was one of the games that I got with my NES way back in the day, and it was the second game that I played on the machine. As such, although this game is far from the most technically impressive NES games out there, it really blew me away when I played it, and some of that magic feeling is still present every time that I play the game, even today. I will try my best not to...
	The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Space Mutants review (NES) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 The Simpsons have had mixed fortunes in the videogame world. Their self-titled arcade game was sheer class, and was responsible for the loss of a good deal of my pocket money when I was younger. Their console games, though, are a different barrel of beer. Rather than being good, wholesome, Duff beer, they are vile, evil, duff games. Bart vs. The Space Mutants is no exception, which is a great pity.
	Halo: Combat Evolved review (XBX) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 Launch. Game. Roll those words about in your head for just a moment. What springs to mind? Recent history dictates that it will probably be thoughts of lacklustre efforts like Ridge Racer V and it's ilk - games that certainly looked very pretty, but lacked any gameplay flair that set them apart from any previous system. Well hold on to your dungarees, boys and girls, because if that's what you were thinking, then Halo is going to leave you ecstatically surprised. Sorry to ruin any suspense that ...
	The Simpsons: Road Rage review (XBX) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 Take one of the best games of the last five years. Add one of the best television shows of the last ten years. You should have yourself a pretty fine game, should you not? Such is the thinking behind The Simpsons: Road Rage. The basic idea is that it's Sega's superb driving game Crazy Taxi, only with Simpsons characters and locales instead of the near-real life locations and over-the-top taxi drivers. However, The Simpsons have had a... shall we say unfortunate history in gaming - basically, Sim...
	Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 review (XBX) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 Tony Hawk is a bit of an odd man. While normal people spend their spare time reading, watching TV or taking healthy walks in the fresh air, our Tone prefers to spend his days travelling around on a skateboard, doing his very best to smash as many of his bones (and if he's lucky, his internal organs) as is possible by performing outlandish and frankly silly moves, all in the name of sport. But despite his dubious line of work, Tony deserves respect - not only from his fellow skaters, but also fro...
	NBA Jam review (GEN) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 Most of us get wrapped up in our nostalgia and daydream about it to our own detriment. The programmers of NBA Jam took notes on their sporting fantasies and produced an immensely addicting game. I suspect they, too, had nerf hoops slung over closed closet doors and weren't good enough for the real thing. And felt the magic of being able to dunk--first when you jumped, then on your tiptoes--in that brief time when puberty was still wonderfully novel, when you swore that your own imaginary basketb...
	Aerial Assault review (SMS) Reviewed on February 03, 2004 At first glance, a horizontally-scrolling shooter such as Aerial Assault may be thought of as a pretty generic offering, giving the player a bunch of things they’ve seen many, many times before. Locations stretching from overseas to an enemy base to outer space. Giant bombers and ships as bosses. A bunch of small, generic little planes, tanks, boats, etc. attempting to prevent you from reaching each level’s boss.
	Blood Omen 2: Legacy of Kain review (XBX) Reviewed on February 02, 2004 People like vampires. It's true, they do. Understandable, really - they have really dapper capes, cool superhuman abilities, and, well, if it wasn't for vampires the world would never have been introduced to Buffy. So , yessir, people like vampires. Those nice folks at Eidos and Crystal Dynamics obviously realise just how much fun vampires are, as they've chosen to bring you the latest instalment of the best-selling Legacy Of Kain series. Which is good of them.
	Prisoner of War review (XBX) Reviewed on February 02, 2004 ... Information.
	Quantum Redshift review (XBX) Reviewed on February 02, 2004 Quantum Redshift tells the exciting tales of Dr. Sam Beckett. Sam invented a time machine that allows him to move to the past and inhabit everyday folks in order to change history for the better - stopping senseless deaths, saving marriages and other such good deeds. Along the way, Sam is guided by his good friend Al, a colleague from his own time who can appear to Sam (and some animals and children) in the form of a hologram in order to give Sam advice, moral counselling and the like. However, ...
	The Adventures of Rad Gravity review (NES) Reviewed on February 02, 2004 Rad Gravity: A hero blessed with a HAL-style computer with a giant eye, possibly the coolest name ever, a cool spaceship, a, frankly, glorious chin, and a quest to save the Universe (or something along those lines). Hang on, maybe the last one isn't exactly a blessing......
	The Battle of Olympus review (NES) Reviewed on February 02, 2004 Greek mythology is great. You've got great big monsters, dashing heroes, powerful Gods... it really is top material for a game. It is odd, then, that this vast wealth of inspiration has very rarely been tapped by developers - I guess it's just too easy to stick things in Space, or in the future. So it's refreshing to see a game that not only is set in ancient Greece, but is based on a fully-fledged, licensed Greek legend. Yessir, Battle Of Olympus brings you everything that is great about Greek ...
	Kung Fu review (NES) Reviewed on February 02, 2004 When developing a game, there is one very important, very difficult choice to make. A choice that may well affect the sales of the game. The choice of what to name the game. Some people may ask what's in a name. Would a rose by any other name still smell as sweet (as a famous dead dude once asked)? Well, yeah, it would. But, more relevantly, would you buy a game called 'Average Joe'? No, only the most Viewtiful will do. The name of the game is important. So when it came to naming this little NES...
	Lemmings review (NES) Reviewed on February 02, 2004 There are certain games that you have to have on one system or another. I'm fairly sure that it's some kind of legal requirement or something. Tetris is one such game. Lemmings is another (although you'd probably guessed that hadn't you....) As such when I saw a shiny new copy of Lemmings for the NES in my local game store I had no hesitation in buying it. So with a classic game in hand I scurried off home for what I fully expected to be hours of brain-taxing fun. I didn't count on the one thing...
	MC Kids review (NES) Reviewed on February 02, 2004 Burgers: Recycled pieces of old meat bundled together with other unidentifiable pieces of.... something, to make one, greasy, whole.

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