Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Ape Escape Academy review (PSP) Reviewed on February 01, 2005 The problem is though, try as they might, monkeys are not very good at imitating other people. Sure, dressing one up in a suit and giving it a cigarette may make us all smile, but its constant ass slapping and habitual masturbation is hardly the definition of quality entertainment. And that becomes an all too fitting caveat made doubly relevant once Piposaru Academia gets underway.
	Phantasy Star Online review (DC) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 Imagine playing a console game online with a bunch of friends that are named after DBZ characters. Imagine playing a game where you can communicate with just about anybody in the world. Imagine playing a game that is so incredibly addictive, you forget to eat and sleep for a three days straight. Imagine all that, and you find yourself Sonic Team's innovative installment of the old Phantasy Star series called Phantasy Star Online.
	Alien Storm review (GEN) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 Alien Storm was released in 1990 and was yet another arcade game by Sega, which joined the ranks along with other arcade classics such as Altered Beast and Golden Axe. This game was released in the arcades and a few home versions for Sega's systems, the Master System and Mega Drive and a not so good port of the game was also dumped on the NES. The 16-bit version was the best of the home conversions and was a nice addition to the growing Mega Drive collection. Unlike most of Sega's arcade games ...
	The Legend of Zelda review (NES) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 Link moves with the elfish grace you might expect from his size. A quick thrust of the sword is enough to vanquish most foes, and when it’s not a secondary slash will do (at least, throughout most of the game). All he has to fear is the stream of fireballs Hyrule’s mermaid-like monsters launch from various rivers and lakes, as only a magical shield can deflect such attacks. Later, there are some projectiles even that armament won’t defend against.
	Snake Rattle 'N Roll review (NES) Reviewed on January 31, 2005 To reach the archway you see at the very top, you must zig-zag your way along a series of jumps. You leap forward, grinning because you know you can’t possibly miss the landing. And then you do. And again, and again. Many of these jumps aren’t straight, either. Some require you to wrap your way around a cliff mid-air. The problem is, it’s often hard to tell which move is required.
	Kimi ga Nozomu Eien review (PC) Reviewed on January 28, 2005 Kimi ga Nozomu Eien really comes alive in the second half. While the prologue always stuck Takayuki with Haruka, you can match him up with any of seven girls here, although some — like Haruka's really cute little sister Akane — are a lot tougher to catch than others.
	Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater review (PS2) Reviewed on January 28, 2005 "There's a saying in the Orient: Loyalty to the end."
	Chaos Legion review (PS2) Reviewed on January 28, 2005 Love. Betrayal. Vengeance. Richly artistic cinematics explore the depths of the human psyche and emotional repression . . . or something. Capcom gives these stylish but laughably-voiced cinematics the treatment they deserve by making them skippable and shoving them between levels so they don’t interfere with the action.
	Doom II: Hell on Earth review (PC) Reviewed on January 28, 2005 Doom is probably the only first person shooter that you can never grow tired of. It defined it’s genre back in the early 90’s and was possibly the most popular PC game of the time. Doom made FPS games what they are today, without the popularity of this gem back then I truly believe that games like Half-Life and Halo wouldn’t have been successful as what they are now. Doom 2 stands out in the crowd as one of the greatest first person shooters available and even today, the classic charm and da...
	ICO review (PS2) Reviewed on January 28, 2005 If ICO is one thing, it's underrated.
	T&C 2: Thrilla's Surfari review (NES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 If the first few stages are frantic, the ones that follow are downright overwhelming. Soon you’ll find yourself weaving down a raging river as hippo heads and rocks threaten to knock you into the soup. Soon you’ll find yourself careening wildly through a desert, dodging scorpion venom and snakes and rocks that all conspire to knock you into pits. And those are just the easy parts.
	Wild Arms review (PSX) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 Filgaia wasn't always the sparse, barren landscape you'll now find it to be. Once it was a hospitable and green land, filled with life of all sorts. The world’s desolate dunes were once lush hills, the uninhabitable deserts previously great forests that stretched out serenely into the horizon. Then there was war. Nothing apocalypses up a place more than a good war.
	Final Fantasy Anthology review (PSX) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 Being a crazed fanboy can cause people to do stupid things. Take me, for instance. I should really have no reason to own this game. I already play FF6 regularly, and FF5 isn't good enough for me to want to own a copy. But my Playstation was sitting there all lonely and this game was really cheap and, well, here it is. And thus that little urge I get to replay one of my favorite games of all time became irresistible, and I popped the FF6 disk in. Twenty minutes in convinced me that I should...
	Final Fantasy III review (SNES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 What do you think you’ve found, here, in this dying world? - Kefka, FF Anthology
	Tiny Toon Adventures 2: Trouble in Wackyland review (NES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 In the sequel, it seems a secret admirer has invited you to visit him at the fun house in an amusement park. Before you can get in, though, you must collect tickets from rides. You gain these only by successfully completing the rides. Things still don’t seem so bad. Then you try the different attractions and you realize something awful: they all suck.
	Castlevania: Lament of Innocence review (PS2) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 There are hidden bosses galore, including The Forgotten One, a boss that has to be seen to be believed. The abominable creature has been locked far, far beneath the castle, hidden down and around swirling castle steps streaked fearfully with the scent of doom--the ultimate embodiment of that which should not be.
	The Flintstones: The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy review (NES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 Fortunately, there are plenty of reasons to keep trying, even when you find yourself dying more than you might like. For one, the levels themselves are quite pretty. Sure, they don’t boast a lot of polygons or even colors, but the artists rendered them in a quaint style that can cheer you as you travel through them. Dense jungles somehow seem cheerful thanks to vibrant colors. An undersea level oozes charm, as does a distant island resort you’ll visit late in the game.
	Final Fantasy III review (SNES) Reviewed on January 26, 2005 Three Imperial soldiers advance upon the mining town of Narshe in search of an ancient being of pure power — just the thing to help their liege, Emperor Gestahl, solidify his tyrannical hold on the world. Two are mere lackeys of the corrupt ruler, but the third, a young female named Terra, is different. Far greater than her companions, this lady possesses a beauty that far transcends mere appearances. She is destined to help save the world from its corrupting influences — and it will be beautif...
	OutRun2 review (XBX) Reviewed on January 25, 2005 Hey, remember OutRun Europa, Battle OutRun, and *gulps* OutRun 2019?......... Well, AM2 seems to have forgotten them. Or at least they want to forget, which is made more obvious with the latest sequel's title, OutRun2. And who would blame them? I mean, the quality of those previous games ranged from mediocre to just plain sucking balls. So, of course, it's no surprise they want the game to be the followup to the original classic, OutRun. And trust me, af...
	Idols Galore! review (PC) Reviewed on January 25, 2005 Kuro Miyabi stands at the top of his field. Place him in charge of any enterprise, no matter how anemic, and he'll turn a quick profit. Although he possesses a little skill, his success is not a result of any refined entrepreneurial acumen, but because he's willing to do whatever it takes. Blackmail and intimidation are his methods of choice, but really any scheme will do, the dirtier the better. Kuro is a goon, and damn proud of it.

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