Review Archives (All Reviews)
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Sonic Heroes review (GCN)Reviewed on January 02, 2005According to Jak and Ratchet, platformers should have big freakin guns and lots of vehicles and stuff. Sly says we should have stealth. And even the king, Mario himself, seems to think we should spend our time collecting stars. I feel like I'm Charlie Brown walking amid all the aluminum trees, searching for the true Christmas spirit, or platforming spirit as the case may be. Doesn't anyone know what platforming's all about? And then I see it, the only real Christmas tree there. Sure, it's ... |
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Tetrisphere review (N64)Reviewed on January 01, 2005Picture a spinning orb floating in space. It’s comprised of a bunch of tetrad blocks, meshed together flawlessly to form a prison of sorts. Inside this fragile abode, a robot anxiously darts about like a firefly caught in a bottle, trying to escape. Your job in Tetrisphere is to make it possible for your imprisoned friend to do so. |
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Steam Hearts review (TGCD)Reviewed on January 01, 2005In a sea of shmups crammed with tricks, powerups, and gadgets to help wipe out the enemy, it takes a pretty damn strong hook to create lasting, vivid memories. Steam Hearts accomplishes this with ease. |
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Metroid II: Return of Samus review (GB)Reviewed on January 01, 2005Label me elitist, dub me curmudgeonly, call me “old school” to a fault. Certainly, I originally purchased Metroid II out of a sense of obligation -- the cart being the follow-up to my favorite NES game -- and with little desire to actually enjoy myself while playing it. I perceived injustice being done -- I allowed myself to view this black-and-white atrocity as little more than an outright insult to an undeniable classic, an effort lacking in heart as much as in hype from a... |
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Metal Gear Acid review (PSP)Reviewed on December 31, 2004Initially though, who could blame players for thinking that Metal Gear Acid was doomed to failure. Stealth action and turn based strategy combined, fused together in an unholy coupling of high hopes and soon to be crushed dreams. How wrong we were. A combination such as this in lesser hands could have/would have/should have spelt disaster, with Konami at the helm however we're already moving in the right direction. |
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Metroid Prime 2: Echoes review (GCN)Reviewed on December 31, 2004The rest of the expectedly excellent bosses pose mighty challenges, too, and reside in their usual "OMG why here?" locations to boot. From Chyakka, a possessed moth that periodically dips into the dark world's ubiquitous poisonous fluids for an immense burst of strength, to the Alpha Blogg, an underwater predator that attempts to ram Samus into oblivion, the only thing more imposing than their visages are the actual methods needed to defeat them. |
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ESPN College Hoops 2K5 review (PS2)Reviewed on December 31, 2004A Game John Wooden Can Appreciate |
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Fatal Labyrinth review (GEN)Reviewed on December 30, 2004The scene opens in a small village set in the shadow of a huge castle; the castle Dragonia no less. Ghouls have come forth from this edifice and stole the holy goblet from the village, and so condemning the world to darkness. Panic is spreading around the town and residents are worried they won’t be able to hang their laundry out no more. So you have been chosen to venture forth into the castle to retake this goblet, and then slay the dragon that sits stop the tallest tower for good measure. |
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TwinBee review (NES)Reviewed on December 30, 2004If I’d been the big cheese at Konami, there never would have been a multitude of TwinBee games released over multiple platforms. Hell, I never would have even allowed the characters of TwinBee and WinBee to even appear in my company’s Parodius games as playable ships. They’d have been stricken from the record and my first prayer before falling asleep at night would be that no one ever remembered a single game bearing that name ever existed. |
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Mario Power Tennis review (GCN)Reviewed on December 29, 2004Nintendo scarcely makes sports games (wow, that doesn’t really roll of the tongue). It just so happens that when they do, nine out of ten of the times you have an excellent game that defies the minds of many sports haters. I for one love games like Metroid Prime and Paper Mario. You know, adventure, action, RPG and the like. But as soon as I got my hands on Mario Power Tennis, I was overjoyed. Camelot has an expertise at combining a realistic sports atmosphere with oodles of... |
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Metroid Prime review (GCN)Reviewed on December 27, 2004Prime. |
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Super Star Soldier review (TG16)Reviewed on December 27, 2004Call me psychotic (and not in the lovable Of Mice and Men way) but in my eyes, nothing gets me into the Christmas spirit quite like the opportunity to have a blast exterminating an entire civilization. I mean, the mere thought of climbing into some freak of technological nature, jetting into the far reaches of the galaxy and blasting everything stupid enough to even contemplate motion is enough to make me jollier than old St. Nick. |
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Evolution 2: Far Off Promise review (DC)Reviewed on December 24, 2004Sometimes, you just need to take a break from playing all those "complicated" RPGs. Ya know, the ones that span over fifty or sixty hours, and have battle systems that take at least an hour or two to get used to? Yeah, those RPGs. You need to escape from them every once and awhile and play something simple, something short, and something fun. Evolution 2: Far Off Promise could've been one of those games: it's short, it's simple...... but it's not fun. Which is very unfortunate, because it... |
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WarioWare, Inc: Mega Microgame$! review (GBA)Reviewed on December 22, 2004200 mini-games? Wow that sounds… |
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James Bond 007: Everything or Nothing review (XBX)Reviewed on December 21, 2004Picture this scene, if you will: Bond is heroically fending off hordes of nameless henchmen as gunfire chatters noisily and bullets whiz through the air, pinging off of body-armour or plunging into flesh. Bond's auto-target seeks out a fresh target to gun down, but sadly, it fixes on the enemy in the far distance rather than the sod standing two feet away who's unleashing a torrent of bullets into you. |
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Spider-Man 2 review (XBX)Reviewed on December 21, 2004Spider-Man 2 is a real piece of work, and I like it. It offers you complete control of Spidey, with all the freedom of movement that comes with it. And this time, it’s the real deal. |
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Ridge Racer review (PSP)Reviewed on December 20, 2004Before we get started however, there's the small issue of a recently added plural form to deal with. Serving as something of an ultimate Ridge Racer remix, Ridge Racers combines the myriad courses, drift styles and assorted beats of its predecessors in the creation of a single, glorious whole. Every track, every sound, everything you've come to know and love about the series, served up mix and match style with you, the gamer in mind. |
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Berserk: The Millennium Falcon review (PS2)Reviewed on December 18, 2004No longer content to wear a smiling yellow mask, death incarnate now dons a frightening visage of hollow-eyed contempt and clenched-teeth ferocity. The kindly divinities of biblical lore have fallen before the fourfold might of the Godhand, an unholy gathering of macabre cenobites inspired by Clive Barker’s hellraising quartet. Brought together by the baleful cry of a suicidal man’s selfish prayer, grandmaster Void and his compatriots Slan, Ubik and Conrad have summoned a menagerie of grotesqu... |
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Goldeneye 007 review (N64)Reviewed on December 18, 2004A tremendous earth-shattering explosion is heard from miles around. Surrounded by towering mountains, the echo is so forceful it feels as if the very fabric of time itself is collapsing. Reality seems to stand still as a bullet train speeds by, all the while slowly being engulfed in a crimson flame. Bodies are hurled across the barren tundra, overshadowed by the ominous night sky. In the midst of the chaos, a shadowy figure rises from the ruined aftermath of fiery scrap, unscathed. Turning off t... |
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Bloody Roar: Primal Fury review (GCN)Reviewed on December 18, 2004The Gamecube hasn't had the best success in the fighting genre. Soul Caliber 2 and other multiconsole ports have dominated a market with only one prominent first party fighter, Super Smash Brothers Melee. Based off this logic, Hudson's Bloody Roar: Primal Fury, a basic rehash of its Playstation 2 counterpart and the third installment in the Bloody Roar series, attempted to take its slice of the pie. On one end of the spectrum, the release provides a responsive and beautiful entry for the genre s... |
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