Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Donkey Kong 64 review (N64) Reviewed on February 10, 2004 You are running through the jungle -- a virtual jungle, but a jungle nonetheless. Through the jungle you continue to run, you notice the purple textured rocks around you and hear the birdcalls. This jungle is aesthetically pleasing. You run towards a tree, climbing up to the top with your ape-like grip and jump off. But you don't hit the ground. You have grabbed onto a vine that is hanging from absolutely nothing. Ignoring this violation of the law known as gravity, you swing to the next vine. J...
	Verytex review (GEN) Reviewed on February 10, 2004 Area three takes us back 'outdoors', over Earth perhaps, high enough to skip through the clouds, but low enough to witness clearly the wake of alien conquest. Surely this 'ravaged metropolis' scene is shooter cliché, but decent execution of it never ceases to bring some degree of profound humanity to any blastathon. Regrettably, the crumbling buildings here are nondescript and repetitive, like the houses that whiz by seen through Fred Flintstones' windows as he runs through his own home.
	Zombie Revenge review (DC) Reviewed on February 10, 2004 Zombies are the greatest videogame villains of all time, with the exception of those darned Nazis. Whether they are chomping some flesh or just moaning erotically, you just can’t resist killing them. Sure, they have become a bit overexposed since that little game called “Resident Evil”, but who cares? Zombies still rock. But what if the game that those crazy zombies star in isn’t that good? Then you’re left with something along the lines of Sega’s Zombie Revenge.
	Top Spin review (XBX) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 ''Tennis? Boring.'' That is the response one might get when talking about Tennis. It's really not the most popular sport out there to watch, or play. If you give it a chance though, it is a lot of fun to play, like a really advanced version of Pong. Game developers have seen this, and many tennis games have been released over the years trying to reach the untapped power a tennis game could have. There have been a few successes over the years (Virtua Tennis, both Mario Tennis games). These three ...
	Shenmue II review (XBX) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 The original Shenmue was a pretty big hit for a Dreamcast game, considering the lack of owners, so naturally a sequel was highly anticipated. American gamers got a nasty shock though, when they found out Shenmue 2 would be coming out only in Europe, and Japan for the Dreamcast, instead they had to wait until the Xbox. Unfortunately, in all the time it took to get here, it's still basically a Dreamcast port, and Dreamcast graphics really don't measure up to the Xbox(seriously). While the bad gr...
	Dragon Warrior review (NES) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 ''Why am I still playing this game?'' I asked myself as I slowly trudged through enemy after enemy, desperately trying to build my level, and gold so I could cross a bridge and do it all over again. Despite the voices in my head pleading for me to stop I did continue going. That tends to be the weird thing with this game, (excluding voices in your head for some) despite this game's laundry list of flaws, it's surprisingly addictive, and you'll find yourself going and going and going.
	Master of Darkness review (SMS) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 In the early 1990s some very imaginative game designer noticed that both the fictional Dracula story and the real-life case of Jack the Ripper took place in the 1880s and 90s, and decided to bring the two together. AT LAST!
	Heroes of the Lance review (SMS) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 If you wish to study the phenomenon of 'binary gamer polarisation', one of the classic case studies is the 1988 cross-platform fantasy adventure Heroes of the Lance.
	Girl's Garden review (SMS) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 Bees and bears today
	Ecco the Dolphin review (SMS) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 'Eeeee ee Eeeee eee ee eee EEEEE!'
	Bram Stoker's Dracula review (SMS) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 --------- Note to readers: All chapter headings used in this review are quotes from Bram Stoker's 1897 novel 'Dracula' ---------
	Bokosuka Wars review (NES) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 Fear. Dread. BOKOSUKA.
	Paperboy review (SMS) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 Many Sunny Sundays in my adolescent years were spent at friends' houses after a sleepover just playing games on the Commodore 64 all morning. (Don't worry, I'll get to the MasterSystem in a moment.) You could wag your finger at me and say my friends and I should have been outside enjoying this sun, but such days often reminded us too strongly of the chart-busting Rick Astley song 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. We invented the term 'Sunny Sunday' to describe the smile-plastered lollypop-coloured exis...
	Altered Beast review (SMS) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 Altered Beast in all its forms has always worried at my psyche. It's a game for which I have strong pangs of contrary feeling. I say to myself 'I admire this game! It's very nasty and I like it!' But whenever I play it again, I'm never really sure if I do. It's resolutely novel and resolutely weird, with awesome nightmarish monsters and crazy flourishes. It's an important game in console history and in Sega history. It's the game which shipped with the Megadrive and was many a console-hea...
	Ace of Spades review (PC) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 There's a casino-bar where all the big movers like Mr Sidewalker go, where the playboys about town don't have to bet money (or anything apparently) and where half the staff seem to be enslaved by the other half. Playboys who win at blackjack and poker are fed the slave staff for nasty bondage sex, and then can play their way through to having the dealers and hostesses as well. This is the big bright cheery world of Ace of Spades (AOS), a hentai game of no repute alternating simple, rapidf...
	NAM-1975 review (NEO) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 The Deer Hunter
	Magician Lord review (NEO) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 ''What imprudence, you human being! Face your trial by god!''
	Voyeur review (MAC) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 Preface -- Just like the game it describes, this review is recommended for Mature Audiences only (15+). Both game and review are unsuitable for younger gamers, and will bore and confuse younger gamers, so if that's you I'm just trying to save you some time here!
	Marathon review (MAC) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 The Oath of the Vidmaster
	Factory review (MAC) Reviewed on February 06, 2004 Assembly lines are a necessary and largely invisible evil of our time. Ever since the industrial revolution, people have had to reluctantly man those unforgiving conveyer belts to perform such repetitive tasks as assembling greaseburgers, children's dolls, discount televisions or even toilet bowls. As work, it strikes most of us as a faceless, endless, utterly thankless job; mind-numbing and possibly even soul-destroying in its monotony. The last time you tore open the box containing the latest ...

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