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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Raptor (PC)

Raptor review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Raptor uses a vitality bar, so beginners won’t be intimidated as they would be by an R-Type-ish one hit wonder. That vitality bar can be extended if you’ve got enough money. Money can’t buy you love, but life - now there’s a perfectly reasonable investment.
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God of Thunder (PC)

God of Thunder review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

GoT (you’ve gotta admit, it’s one of the best acronyms in the world of gaming, ever: got GoT?) gives us a top-down perspective on the goings-on in the world of its hero, much like The Legend of Zelda. But don’t confuse the challenges of Asgaard with the strictly action–RPG swashbuckling of Hyrule; there is a lot more brainwork for Thor to do than bomb cave walls and pull tongues to open doors.
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Philosoma (PlayStation)

Philosoma review (PSX)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Oh my. This could have been a legendary game. Really. Unfortunately, it falls a bit short. Philosoma is a shooter that should really appeal to all the different niches of shooter fans. It attempts side-scrolling, vertical, behind-the-ship, in-front-of-the ship and isometric overhead/horizontal stages, with varying results.
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Splatterhouse (TurboGrafx-16)

Splatterhouse review (TG16)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Ah, the classic moments we owe to Splatterhouse! Guide Rick past chained zombies affixed to the walls, slipping the gastric juices they spit up in your path! Jaunting ghouls offer themselves up as target practice for your two-by-four - splatter their guts onto the walls! And that's only the first level, people. It gets better!
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The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (Game Boy)

The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening review (GB)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

You'll love how Link’s Awakening throws you into the thick of things right away (remember striking out into the rain in Zelda III?), and without a weapon! We are unsettled by the sense of urgency, and it’s very fun to be so off balance so early on. The trumpet-led music harkens back to the very first game in the series, The Legend of Zelda, stirring you into action with appropriate and welcome fanfare.
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Super Mario Land (Game Boy)

Super Mario Land review (GB)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Nintendo might have simply taken their classic Super Mario Brothers game and shrunken it down, stripped it of its colour and some of its depth and dubbed it Super Mario Land, and GameBoy owners would likely have been happy. Instead, the big N decided to give their then fledgling handheld unit a sort of Mario gaiden, and the result was very special.
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Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge (Game Boy)

Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge review (GB)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Where Castlevania: The Adventure was slow and plodding, Belmont’s Revenge is fast paced by Castlevania standards, and is as much fun to play as the best the series, and is about as good as the side-scrolling adventure genre has to offer. Castlevania III and Super Castlevania IV are often considered the best games in the series, and if they are representative of the best 8-bit and 16-bit offerings respectively, then Belmont’s Revenge is easily the best portable title.
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The Castlevania Adventure (Game Boy)

The Castlevania Adventure review (GB)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

I thoroughly enjoy this terrific franchise, and I look forward to each release with newfound excitement. When I first saw screenshots for The Adventure, I fought an urge to immediately conclude that the game would be a winner. It looked good, its lack of colour notwithstanding. And certainly sound and gameplay quality was never a problem for Konami's 2-D, whip-toting heroes of Gothic tradition. Until now.
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Nemesis (Game Boy)

Nemesis review (GB)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Don’t get it twisted. Nemesis is a remixed, scaled down Gradius, plain and simple. You fly from left to right and fire on everything in sight, encountering weaklings flying in formation, Moai heads literally spitting out Cheerios, and giant ships that move up and down firing sliver-like lasers for you to squeeze between. Konami/Ultra have down an admirable job here, making Nemesis one of the best shooters available for on-the-go killing sprees.
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Wizards & Warriors X: Fortress of Fear (Game Boy)

Wizards & Warriors X: Fortress of Fear review (GB)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

I love side-scrollers, and someone knew this. I was duped, led astray, and the rest of it. I would gladly take on any Castlevania adventure (even The Adventure), The Legendary Axe, hell, even a rusty bladed generic Rastan mission. But X (may I call you X?) doesn’t deserve my hack and slashing skills, nor does it deserve yours. More importantly, our hack and slash skills are unlikely to measure up to this evil cartridge's challenge.
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Donkey Kong (Game Boy)

Donkey Kong review (GB)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

You can't get a much better game than this for on the go play. Donkey Kong is the stuff, really it is. It's not what you think: it's not just a little plumber named Mario (formerly Jumpman) leaping over barrels sent his way by an angry ape. There's a lot more to it this time 'round.
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Bonk's Revenge (Game Boy)

Bonk's Revenge review (GB)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

It pains me to sum up this Bonk experience, because there are little in the way of saving graces. And I love the series. And I loved Bonk's Adventure for the Gameboy despite its utter lack of challenge and intensity. Charm saw it through! The utter lack of challenge is back in this sequel, but the charm is nowhere to be found.
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Bonk's Adventure (Game Boy)

Bonk's Adventure review (GB)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

Bonk's Adventure for the Gameboy starts off looking like it's going to be a direct port of the Turbografx-16 classic. But it's not! The game stars the same big-headed caveman who bonks all his enemies with his noggin, and the story and some of the locales are the same, but things have been changed up just a bit, and that's somewhat refreshing.
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Tagin' Dragon (NES)

Tagin' Dragon review (NES)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

When you eat warm food, you feel warmer, especially if it is a juicy, mouth-watering sirloin steak you just took a bite out of.
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Pesterminator (NES)

Pesterminator review (NES)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

With a name like Kernel Kleanup, how can you lose? Easily, that's how. For one thing, the dorks at Western Exterminator and Color Dreams didn't even spell it right. It's Colonel, not Kernel. And he must think he's got that rat right where he wants him, what with the hammer cleverly hidden behind his back and all. Still, a wave of familiarity will hit you like a brick in the face even you've never played this game. How so? Well, odds are you've probably seen this guy on the Mossimo shirts from ba...
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Gyromite (NES)

Gyromite review (NES)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

When Nintendo came about from its humble foray into arcades to raise a home console system, they felt this strange need to categorize all their games for you. You had the Sports Series, the Adventure Series, even the Programmable Series, and so on and so forth. Each of their conveniently labeled genres lived up to their silly monikers and earned Nintendo a spotless reputation. What is startling but not altogether surprising to find out now, however, is that most of these games have aged like che...
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Mr. Gimmick (NES)

Mr. Gimmick review (NES)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

I've played some mighty weird games in my tenure here as a reviewer. One allowed you to swim through a sea of milk and featured an evil tapir as the final boss. Another placed you in the role of a blue blob whose primary line of offense consisted of projectile vomiting his nucleus at his aggressors. Still another game allowed you to grow a raccoon's tail and use it as a flying implement whenever you collected something so simple as a leaf. Granted, that last one turned out to be massively popula...
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Urban Champion (NES)

Urban Champion review (NES)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

In 1984, Nintendo was the luckiest company on the face of the gaming planet. With Atari taking a shameful nosedive into oblivion, Nintendo had a clean slate on all fronts. After moving the foundations of the arcade scene, Nintendo seized the opportunity to make a boatload of games that everybody could enjoy. There were games for the sports enthusiast, games for the new rising breed of platforming fans, and enough quirky small packages of miscellany to keep all gamers on their toes.
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Taboo: The Sixth Sense (NES)

Taboo: The Sixth Sense review (NES)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

I suppose it's not fair that I went into Taboo: The Sixth Sense with a predisposition to dislike it. Then again, it's reasonable not to expect much from a non-game whose sole purpose is to give you the most obtuse answer possible to any given question. Taboo falls into its own special category along with a handful of other games designed solely to piss off the average gamer, because it's not a game. It's a short, five-minute activity that was poorly passed off as an exciting product that could h...
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Seicross (NES)

Seicross review (NES)

Reviewed on December 09, 2003

I have no idea what this game is really about. All I know is that of the four games that came with my $2 NES, it was the only one I had never heard of. The label on the cartridge is standard 80's artistry - rides on hovering bikes sideswiping each other on a futuristic landscape. It elucidated little of the mystery within save for rudimentary aesthetic details. Hesitant though I was, I knew it would have to be the first game I tried out. After a short session of rigorously blowing on the pin con...
snowdragon's avatar

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