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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Base Wars (NES)

Base Wars review (NES)

Reviewed on December 22, 2003

If the tedious fights were taken out of Base Wars, or if the faulty computer intelligence had been fixed, a better baseball game would have been produced. As it stands though, Base Wars is just an inferior hybrid.
sgreenwell's avatar
Wardner (Genesis)

Wardner review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 22, 2003

Wardner strikes a blow for overweight kids everywhere. Because the hero of Wardner is… well, fat. And he’s not one of those fat kids looking (illogically) for a supermodel either; his girl is also pretty portly. There’s nothing more annoying than someone of the George Costanza mindset: ''I can’t date her because she’s bald.'' But, you're bald! (Don’t worry, I won’t digress any further into the universal applications of my Seinfeldian knowledge.)
Masters's avatar
Valis: The Fantasm Soldier (Genesis)

Valis: The Fantasm Soldier review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 22, 2003

I didn't even really want to review Valis. Another reviewer (we'll call him ''Zigfried,'' a close personal friend of mine), showed me his 3/10 opinion on the game, but he pointed out that for the sake of justice, we have to offset the ridiculously high scores for the game seen around the net with our low scores, so here is my review. You could probably call this review: OUT FOR JUSTICE if it was a film, but it's not, so let's forget I mentioned it.
Masters's avatar
Twin Cobra (Genesis)

Twin Cobra review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 22, 2003

Twin Cobra is Raiden with boxes. It's also an overhead helicopter shoot-em-up. A shoot-em-up that is mediocre at its absolute best, for a system that was inundated with shooters, some of them phenomenal. Without proceeding any further, it's safe to say that if you're not a fan of the genre, you shouldn't give this game even a moment's notice.
Masters's avatar
Truxton (Genesis)

Truxton review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 22, 2003

The vertical shooter, Truxton, at the time of its release looked alright. Not spectacular, even then, but alright. With time, the game has not aged gracefully.
Masters's avatar
Toki: Going Ape Spit (Genesis)

Toki: Going Ape Spit review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 22, 2003

A cloaked bad guy named Stark made off with your number one booty call, making a monkey out of you, and to add insult to injury, he made a monkey out of you. Naturally, catching up with the withered old fool and killing him and his monster menagerie will make you human again, and return Miho to your large, swollen... arms.
Masters's avatar
Thunder Fox (Genesis)

Thunder Fox review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 22, 2003

Thunder Fox for the Genesis, like the arcade version, features five intense levels of straightforward anti-terrorist ass-kicking. You'll have to tackle terrorists on their carrier, in their mining facility and their headquarters, among other locales. The knife you brought to the party just won’t cut it. But not to worry: as you stab, jump kick and 'somersault kick' foes into submission, they will give up the goods that they’re carrying. Flame throwers, assault rifles and single shot bazookas are all up for grabs in the wake of incapacitated insurgents.
Masters's avatar
Breath of Fire II (Game Boy Advance)

Breath of Fire II review (GBA)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

Overall, Breath of Fire 2 is a game that's just below great because of a bad translation and a lack of new content from the previous release.
sgreenwell's avatar
Madden NFL 2003 (PlayStation 2)

Madden NFL 2003 review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

Tougher than tough actin’ Tinactin! Tastier than Outback Steakhouse! Better to watch than Little Giants! A better deal than Greyhound buses!
sgreenwell's avatar
Crazy Taxi (PlayStation 2)

Crazy Taxi review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

Ever Wonder Why 'Taxi' Has An I But 'Candy' Has A Y, Unless It's An Exotic Dancer? Me neither, so luckily I'm reviewing Crazy Taxi and not our country's exotic dancing scene!
sgreenwell's avatar
Berzerk (Arcade)

Berzerk review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

Every once in a while, the screen will fade, the sound clatters even more unrecognizably, or the button will jam, but these are inconsequential annoyances which do not interrupt the unconscious flow of gaming.
sgreenwell's avatar
Final Fantasy X (PlayStation 2)

Final Fantasy X review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

Final Fantasy X is the exact product of what everyone said it would be. The visual entourage that dazzles and delights rarely lets up. The game upon full completion reaches far into triple digits according to the game's hourglass. Furthermore, this installment of Square's all but worshipped franchise really does throw caution to the winds in more ways than one. To be brief, Final Fantasy X is almost everything Square said it would be. Sadly, this doesn't mean that it is jus...
jdog's avatar
Crystal Castles (Atari 2600)

Crystal Castles review (A2600)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

It’s been nearly two years since I dusted off the old Atari 2600 and allowed myself
jdog's avatar
Thunder Force II (Genesis)

Thunder Force II review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

This early Genesis release is not graphically or sonically stunning, as can be expected (old games still impress in these categories, but we needn't expect them to), but the lackluster presentation is not wholly or even largely the reason why the game fails to impress.
Masters's avatar
Journey from Darkness: Strider Returns (Genesis)

Journey from Darkness: Strider Returns review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

Sega's Strider was every bit as engaging as Capcom had made it in the arcades. Truly, it was a memorable experience with only two weaknesses worth mentioning: the length of the adventure, and the limitations of the hero's jumping abilities. Strider 2 does nothing to correct the former but admirably corrects the latter. Not bad then, right? Well, it wouldn’t be, but remember the aforementioned strengths of the original game? You know, the beautiful scenes and sounds? Well forget about them. They’re gone.
Masters's avatar
Strider (Genesis)

Strider review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 21, 2003

Much of the game’s hype was due to the fact that it was the first 8 meg cartridge ever. Certainly it was not just a case of Sega and Capcom pounding their chests with no real reasoning behind the extra space; upon comparison with other platform games of its time, the 8 meg 'monster' that was Strider clearly drew upon the added power do something unprecedented. It didn't compromise. It represented an arcade translation where the programmers didn't have to say ''Ok, what do we take out first?''
Masters's avatar
Splatterhouse 2 (Genesis)

Splatterhouse 2 review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 20, 2003

In the first game, Rick's girlfriend Jennifer was spirited away from his underdeveloped arms right before his pimply face, creamy with bursting whiteheads. The Hell Mask appeared to provide delicious two-fold resolution. He donned the evil, false visage and it took hold of him, charging teenage bone, sinew and muscle, until a fearless full grown murderer of the undead was forged (plus, it hid his acne).
Masters's avatar
Sonic the Hedgehog (Genesis)

Sonic the Hedgehog review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 20, 2003

The fast and the furious Green Hill Zone. Barreling over bright green hills, digging your heels in as you race through lush valleys of green, leaping for coins and coming back down to green earth - this is what the entire game should have been about. Sad that the heights of enjoyment should be reached in Sonic’s first mission, sad that gamers should be teased so cruelly, as the roaring velocity of his run, (increased even more with the special speedy shoe icon, and even more while Sonic spins) comes to an abrupt halt with the conclusion of the zone, never to reach such intensity again.
Masters's avatar
Chip's Challenge (PC)

Chip's Challenge review (PC)

Reviewed on December 20, 2003

Crammed inside the miniature mysteries of Microsoft's pack-in puzzler Chip's Challenge is a larger conundrum that bears worth pondering. What kind of game is this, really, and who is it for? It's easy to picture people who normally are puzzle game fans becoming bored of it quite easily, but then again, who's to say they won't try and keep on keepin' on through all 144 levels of this 16-color riddle? What starts as a simple game to waste your time may evolve into a ruthless slave driver who deriv...
snowdragon's avatar
Sol-Deace (Genesis)

Sol-Deace review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 20, 2003

So now you have three streams of fire, one from the core, and one from each arm of the ship. You can get the arms to fire at different angles by moving the core forward and back. This is quite cool! Take note, nonbelievers! Sometimes, I have the core firing forward, the top arm firing 30 degrees up and forward, and the bottom arm firing 45 degrees down and forward! This allows for GOOD SCREEN COVERAGE.
Masters's avatar

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