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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
World Bowling (Game Boy)

World Bowling review (GB)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Silly ethnocentric me, I had completely classified bowling as a purely American game. Entirely blocking out its ancient origins, I now thought of it only as a pasttime of inflated importance for men with thick, black-rimmed glasses or an excuse for hard-working guys to build up their beer guts. Leave it to Nintendo to break down my walls of ignorance. Did you know evidence of bowling dates back 5000 years, to the time of ancient Egypt? Romans and Germans also participated in slightly altered...
woodhouse's avatar
Clock Tower (PlayStation)

Clock Tower review (PSX)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Of course, graphic adventures don’t boast a murderer who randomly pops out of lockers, down chimneys, and from other seemingly innocuous places looking to decorate the walls with fresh entrails.
sho's avatar
Michael Jackson's Moonwalker (Arcade)

Michael Jackson's Moonwalker review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Hey there all you sweet little boys and girls, I hope you’re ready for something really . . . special. How would you like to go on a totally magical journey of action and discovery with your super big brother, the vaguely glistening King of Pop – MICHAEL JACKSON???
sho's avatar
Ghosts 'n Goblins (Arcade)

Ghosts 'n Goblins review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Ghosts ‘n Goblins takes the concept of respectable difficulty well past the point of merely "hard" and leaves it somewhere in the realm of "utterly ridiculous."
sho's avatar
Ghostbusters (NES)

Ghostbusters review (NES)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Everyone knows that video games based on popular licenses are usually lackluster and best forgotten, but the NES port of Ghostbusters cleverly avoids sinking into that trap – no, it bravely charts a course towards its disastrous new low thanks to a triple threat of mind-numbing repetition, frequently nonexistent controls, and abysmal level design!
sho's avatar
Rez (PlayStation 2)

Rez review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 16, 2004

Rez defied my every expectation. Of course, when you’re dealing with a game like Rez, it’s a bit hard to go in knowing exactly what you’re going to get. The only thing that was clear was that Rez was advertised as a music-based “rail shooter” (a shooter where you have no freedom of movement, or are “on rails,” as it were) that was going to integrate audio, video, and gameplay into one never-before-seen type of experience. With Rez, I was expecting a game with a unique (but perhaps unimpre...
hoodedjustice's avatar
Madden NFL 2004 (PlayStation 2)

Madden NFL 2004 review (PS2)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

Every other year since Madden '98 I buy the new Madden game. This year I wasn't going to break that tradition. Madden 2004 looked amazing. All the screen shots, commercials, and the hype about the new features. I couldn't wait to get it. It looked like the Jessica Simpson of video games. Unfortunately, the graphics didn't look anything like her and the computer intelligence had her I.Q.
espnking2002's avatar
Castlevania (NES)

Castlevania review (NES)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

Who can forget listening to the seminal tune “Vampire Killer” as one tread beneath the tattered red curtains and moldering walls of the first stage, whipping down groups of ghouls clad in ragged shrouds, and avoiding the panthers who would suddenly spring to their feet and lunge after us? Simon may not have a face, but he certainly has an atmospheric environment to blindly stumble about in.
sho's avatar
Jungle Fever/Knight on the Town (Atari 2600)

Jungle Fever/Knight on the Town review (A2600)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

Knight on the Town is both excessively short and excessively pointless, its graphics laughable and its eroticism humiliatingly poor. In other words, a quintessential example of Atari pornography.
sho's avatar
Chiller (Arcade)

Chiller review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

Chiller has carved a raw slice of infamy for itself thanks to a gruesomely graphic horror theme; the gore splatters freely as evil dead and innocent humans alike fall into the line of our crosshairs and prepare to meet their respective makers! And what better place to start our adventure than a nice, wholesome torture chamber complete with practically nude men and women writhing in torment?
sho's avatar
Call of Duty (PC)

Call of Duty review (PC)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

What would videogames be without international conflict? World peace is undeniably a noble goal, but a game about dancing in a circle with your brother man wouldn't be quite as entertaining as one about, say, fighting the Nazi menace through World War 2 Europe. Previously the Medal of Honor series has been the leader in this particular field, but now Activision and Infinity Ward have landed on the genre's metaphorical beach with Call of Duty.
autorock's avatar
Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne (PC)

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne review (PC)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

In Max Payne 2, about a third in, there's a bit where you, as the melancholy detective, sneak into the home of an informant in the murder case you're investigating.
autorock's avatar
Heavy Unit (TurboGrafx-16)

Heavy Unit review (TG16)

Reviewed on July 15, 2004

I’ve decided I have to be some sort of mentally ill glutton for punishment. You see, when confronted with a shooter of the lowly caliber of Taito’s Heavy Unit on the PC Engine, the average player likely wouldn’t get too far. They’d start up the game (likely because its somewhat suggestive title tricked them into believing they were playing some old-time masturbatory hentai shooter like Divine Sealing), immediately watch their underpowered ship get wiped out by the horde of skeletal (yet durable)...
overdrive's avatar
Ecstatica (PC)

Ecstatica review (PC)

Reviewed on July 13, 2004

Ecstatica is a survival horror game that few have played and many have missed out upon. Unlike most games of the genre which tend to start off slowly and allow the horror to slowly creep up on you with chilling awe it kind of throws you in the middle of it with horrid creatures roaming around after the seemingly innocent young traveller who has no idea what his or her (you can pick the sex of the character) fate is. He arrives at the small village of Tirich in hope of picking up some water for...
goldenvortex's avatar
Golden Axe (Arcade)

Golden Axe review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 12, 2004

Golden Axe is a game that will remain close to me until they shut the lid on my coffin. For over a decade me and some of my close friends have beaten this game countless times together and also solitarily although I had finished the console translation of the game on Sega’s own Mega Drive, or Genesis, whatever! It was years, however until I actually played the original Arcade version of the game, and I was almost blown away with not just the graphical and sound differences but also the massive ...
goldenvortex's avatar
Yu-Gi-Oh!: Forbidden Memoires (PlayStation)

Yu-Gi-Oh!: Forbidden Memoires review (PSX)

Reviewed on July 12, 2004

The Yu-Gi-Oh! franchise has been growing quite a bit, trying to become the next Pokemon in terms of popularity. The Yu-Gi-Oh! games have always been a mixed bag; some are pretty good, and some really, really suck. This game, in particular, is one on the bottom of the barrel.
heroofthewinds's avatar
SoulCalibur (Dreamcast)

SoulCalibur review (DC)

Reviewed on July 12, 2004

Most competent Dreamcast fighting game reviews talk about this game mechanic or that, as though the reversals of Dead or Alive 2 are somehow superior to the reversals of Virtua Fighter 3. I suppose there's merit to that approach. However, in Soul Calibur's case, the reversal (parry) system isn't what sets the game apart from the crowd. The eight-directional mobility and high/mid/low combination systems (both of which have become 3D fighting mainstays) don't differentiate ...
lilica's avatar
Super Hang-On (Genesis)

Super Hang-On review (GEN)

Reviewed on July 12, 2004

One of my least favourite genres of games are racing games and although a few of them have appealed to me over the years. One of these games was “Super Hang-on” for the Sega Genesis or Mega Drive, a motorbike racing game that was the sequel to the Master System game “Hang on”. The 16-bit version was released on the Arcade as well as the Genesis but that’s not being reviewed.
goldenvortex's avatar
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! (NES)

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! review (NES)

Reviewed on July 12, 2004

Most gaming protagonists do not need our help, for they have been blessed with the skills, weapons, physique and mentality to win at all costs. They strut about the screen, preening and flexing and sneering dismissively at all who dare inhabit their personal space. Look at these heroes! Solid Snake’s only true obstacles are the hundreds of girls who flock after him, Cloud Strife fears nothing but a bad hair day, and Mario can barely sneeze without knocking a dozen Bowser’s into a pool of molten ...
kingbroccoli's avatar
Miss World '96 Nude (Arcade)

Miss World '96 Nude review (ARC)

Reviewed on July 12, 2004

What might have seemed like a generic clone of a puzzle game is revealed to be an unforgettable night of explicit content – the wrong kind of explicit content.
sho's avatar

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