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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! (NES)

Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! review (NES)

Reviewed on June 01, 2006

Franceís most stalwart athlete, Glass Joe, quickly finds out his career is heading for a humiliating end, as his punches are easily dodged by Mac, who then responds by sending jab after jab into Joeís face. The fight is short and brutal ó with Glass Joe spending more time face down than the average hentai game chick.
overdrive's avatar
God of War (PlayStation 2)

God of War review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 30, 2006

Do you have a job? If not, you will eventually. Assuming that youíre not going to mooch off your parents for the rest of your life, youíll have to face the harsh reality of the working world someday. Chances are, it wonít be pretty. Maybe youíll start things off as a lowly bagger at a grocery store. Or maybe youíll suffer countless hours in the hell known as babysitting. If you manage to finish your college education, your degree may help land you a job in a reasonably professional environmentÖW...
disco's avatar
Steambot Chronicles (PlayStation 2)

Steambot Chronicles review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 29, 2006

Steambot Chronicles is cool like that; thereís an overlying story, sure, but progressing it rarely requires you to do anything hard. Hell, it rarely requires you to do much at all.
lasthero's avatar
RapeLay (PC)

RapeLay review (PC)

Reviewed on May 28, 2006

To some extent, RapeLay represents a substantial evolution in hentai gaming: diverse, real-time, interactive sexual intercourse. But let's be honest. In RapeLay, you rape women. Well-programmed or not, it's despicable.
zigfried's avatar
Final Fantasy IV (PlayStation)

Final Fantasy IV review (PSX)

Reviewed on May 27, 2006

Iíve played Final Fantasy games involving cute ďslam dancingĒ animals, a stupid creature called NORG, and implied man-on-man action in a notorious place called the Honey Bee Inn. What I havenít experienced is a Final Fantasy game as insanely difficult as the fourth installment. Perhaps the first couple games featured on Final Fantasy Origins were the most challenging, but those PSone incarnations were on a glorious easy setting that made things a breeze. This isnít the ca...
djskittles's avatar
Metroid: Zero Mission (Game Boy Advance)

Metroid: Zero Mission review (GBA)

Reviewed on May 25, 2006

It is the start of one of the most cherished franchises, one that spawned sequels many consider to be among the best games of all time. It's ending surprised everyone, becoming one of the most iconic moments in gaming history. It is ingrained into our collective consciousness, an experience anyone who plays games knows about. And it's a bad game. Yes, you heard me. The original Metroid was nearly unplayable thanks to some poor decisions, limitations in the hardware, and simply awful design ...
mariner's avatar
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Genesis)

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 review (GEN)

Reviewed on May 25, 2006

Being Sonic isnít as easy as one might think. Once one looks past the glamour of being a world hero, his job is pretty tough. Sonicís arch-nemesis, Dr. Robotnik, is constantly kidnapping the furry animals of the world and only Sonic can save them. This might seem like an easy task at first but it is much more difficult than it presents itself. The reason for this complication is because Dr. Robotnik has set up machines to try to take out Sonic so he doesnít have to take out the blue hedgehog him...
espnking2002's avatar
Battalion Wars (GameCube)

Battalion Wars review (GCN)

Reviewed on May 23, 2006

Military games are a dime a dozen these days. When was the last time a major World War II-based combat simulation not being released for a home console or PC? How many times can we take on the AI-controlled Germans and still feel like weíre playing a unique game? Havenít we deployed platoons, shot down enemy fighters, endured D-Day, blown up, and used tanks to plow our way through enemy forces enough times to make the whole experience seem unoriginal? Nevertheless, playing war hasnít seem to hav...
disco's avatar
Tenchu: Dark Secret (DS)

Tenchu: Dark Secret review (DS)

Reviewed on May 23, 2006

Youíve got your back against the wall, and your heart is pounding. Around the corner from where you stand, a guard is restlessly pacing back and forth down the corridors, armed to the teeth with deadly weapons. Youíve been watching him for three minutes now, trying to figure out the manís movement patterns. Will he turn right and exit into the adjacent hallway? Will he make an abrupt U-Turn and head back toward your position? Doesnít he realize that heís being watched from an enemy less than thi...
disco's avatar
The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age (PlayStation 2)

The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 23, 2006

Lord of the Rings is the all-time classic fantasy novel, and now movie experience. Tolkien would be my favorite writer if it wasn't for R.A. Salvatore and the movies would be my favorite film trilogy if it wasn't for Star Wars (the original three of course). With all the hype The Third Age was getting, I was hopping that it would be the source of entertainment that broke the "runner-up" streak that Lord of the Rings has had with me. It did, but unfortunately not in a good wa...
styoung's avatar
Trauma Center: Under the Knife (DS)

Trauma Center: Under the Knife review (DS)

Reviewed on May 22, 2006

Cavity Sam has dedicated his entire existence to the medical field. Perpetually prone with gaping wounds, heís given millions the chance to poke and prod in order to develop the steady hand necessary to save lives. But we feel his pain, too. Every time one of his vital organs goes missing, his red nose lights up in distress, or his body emits a shocking buzz, we know Sam has sacrificed a little more of himself. Now, though, itís time for a break, because Trauma Center: Under the Knife...
woodhouse's avatar
Faxanadu (NES)

Faxanadu review (NES)

Reviewed on May 22, 2006

However, one cannot simply loiter near town enriching themselves through the lucrative practice of repeated suicide. The regions of Faxanadu are loaded with dungeons, as well as hostile, mutated dwarves that mean business! Considering the limitations of the NES, many of this game's assortment of baddies are simply incredible. Just look at the boss shaped like a monstrous torso as it bounces towards the hero, teeth gnashing in anticipation of their inevitable plunge through his armor into soft flesh.
overdrive's avatar
New Super Mario Bros. (DS)

New Super Mario Bros. review (DS)

Reviewed on May 21, 2006

Itís a tough legacy to follow, when you are the over weight, mushroom eating, fireball spitting, Italian plumber known as Mario. Super Mario Bros. hit the scene in 1985 and blew the world away. My first video game experience was Super Mario Bros. and thanks to its amazing adventure, I was hooked on a hobby that I have loved since. Albeit, a bit dated, the original Super Mario Bros. is fun at its purest form. While Nintendo followed it up with a slightly disappointed sequel, it was still more tha...
galactus21's avatar
Fable: The Lost Chapters (Xbox)

Fable: The Lost Chapters review (XBX)

Reviewed on May 20, 2006

Before the original Fable's release, lead designer Peter Molyneux hyped up the game so much that it seemed that it would be the most ingenious RPG ever. Upon release followers of Mr. Molyneux were disappointed to find that instead of the groundbreaking best RPG ever, what they found was a short, linear game that featured a bare-bones story and dumbed-down customization when compared to what was originally planned. Despite this, people still loved the game, mainly due to its fantastic presentatio...
styoung's avatar
New Super Mario Bros. (DS)

New Super Mario Bros. review (DS)

Reviewed on May 20, 2006

I knew better than to hope for a DS game that could capture all of that for me again. Nostalgia sets unrealistic expectations. No, Iím not bitter because things werenít exactly as I wished for them to be. In many ways, they came much closer than I ever expected. Instead, Iím upset because New Super Mario Bros. has too many issues that get in the way of a consistently good time.
honestgamer's avatar
Yu-Gi-Oh! Ultimate Masters: World Championship Tournament 2006 (Game Boy Advance)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Ultimate Masters: World Championship Tournament 2006 review (GBA)

Reviewed on May 20, 2006

World Championship 2006 is a great game that hints at a potentially excellent future. Unlike its drooling idiot siblings on the half-powered Yu-Gi-Oh! Double Pack, this final GBA edition combines all the card game's actual rules (including Fusion Monsters) with the thrill of purchasing and ripping open hundreds of virtual booster packs. The only things holding this particular Pak back are some audiovisual inadequacies and the sore lack of online play.
zigfried's avatar
Tomb Raider: Legend (PlayStation 2)

Tomb Raider: Legend review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 19, 2006

Fortunately, the boring fights only make up a small part of the game. You've got exploration. You've got puzzle solving. 1/3 suck, 2/3 good.
lasthero's avatar
Bombastic (PlayStation 2)

Bombastic review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 19, 2006

You bask in the glorious immolation of Aquis.
draqq_zyxx's avatar
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (Xbox)

Dreamfall: The Longest Journey review (XBX)

Reviewed on May 19, 2006

As a result, there are plenty of times where youíll be working through an area and the adventure is cut short because someone was alerted to your presence. The circumstances arenít always the sameósometimes youíre ducking around robots and shards of glass, while others you might be trying to let the sound of a train mask your movements from a watchdogóbut the frustration remains in tact.
honestgamer's avatar
Call of Duty (PC)

Call of Duty review (PC)

Reviewed on May 18, 2006

The Medal of Honor series has always amazed me with its atmosphere and perfect portrayal of war. Battlefield 1942 (and its successor) and Day of Defeat offered what it quite possibly the best World War II multiplayer experiences ever. But Infinity Wardís Call of Duty tops them all. It doesnít have the atmosphere of Medal of Honor or the options and multiplayer of the latter two (although it is atmospheric and has decent multiplayer), but it does exactly what...
Halon's avatar

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