Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Cooking Mama 2: Dinner with Friends review (DS) Reviewed on December 01, 2007 Sit back, let the timer run out, and you will still end up with a perfectly presentable dish and one of 68 new recipes for your lack of effort. Doing well gets a good score, but I’m not really the kind of guy who calls up friends to brag about my delightfully moist, and let’s not forget virtual, chocolate cake.
	The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass review (DS) Reviewed on December 01, 2007 Things starts how they always start in the Zelda multiverse, with the kidnapping of that dappy bint of a princess whose only point of existence is to be spirited away by dark forces at the start of every new adventure. In a new development twist for the series, Phantom Hourglass is a direct sequel from Wind Waker on the Gamecube, meaning that it inherits the THE BIG TWO flaws that chapter suffered from
	The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass review (DS) Reviewed on November 30, 2007 My professional obligations completed, I forgot about Hourglass. It's easily done because, as I alluded to earlier, it's crap. But now, bollocks to it, I'm going to tell you why.
	Trauma Center: New Blood review (WII) Reviewed on November 30, 2007 With two doctors available for each stage, you can partner up with a skilled buddy to zap viruses and set bones. As the timer ticks down and you combine your skills, you'll be sharing an experience unique to Trauma Center. It's fantastic if you can manage it, but let's face it: not all of us have friends, let alone talented ones. For such individuals, there may be times when the game feels nearly impossible.
	Wizardry: Proving Grounds of the Mad Overlord review (NES) Reviewed on November 30, 2007 You’ll open the battle against a shadowy figure with an vague name like “unseen entity” and have to wait a turn or two before the foe’s real name is revealed. And that can be dangerous, as this “unseen entity” could be a Murphy’s Ghost, which primarily exists to give young parties a high-experience foe weak enough for them to beat without much risk OR it could be any of many undesirable level-draining undead.
	LUXOR: Pharaoh's Challenge review (PS2) Reviewed on November 29, 2007 If you've played a lot of puzzle games besides Tetris, you've probably encountered one where your goal is to stop colored marbles from rolling too far along a winding track. This is typically accomplished by tossing a few marbles of your own so that three of a single color end up next to each other, flash and then disappear. Sometimes, a chain reaction is possible, with multiple groups vanishing at once. Sound familiar?
	Time Crisis 4 review (PS3) Reviewed on November 28, 2007 Time Crisis 4 doesn't stray far from the formula its predecessors embraced. There's really no reason it should. As your characters walk into an airport, someone tosses a smoke bomb their way and just like that, the action has begun. From that lobby, you'll make your way through all sorts of chaotic events that range from a gunfight in the streets to a stroll through a dark cave to a helicopter ride where you're causing everything but the towering skyscrapers to explode in a fiery inferno.
	Twinkle Tale review (GEN) Reviewed on November 28, 2007 As I was making my way through Twinkle Tale, I was wondering why I play shooters. After all they aren’t the most appealing games. They are extremely basic, often very frustrating and repetitive (especially after spending hours on a single part), and nowhere near as technically advanced as the games that people play today. Yet we still play them. And in many ways they are more rewarding and ultimately more entertaining than anything else on the market, regardless of its graphics, re...
	The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening review (GB) Reviewed on November 28, 2007 I always thought that nerds on the Internet who wine “it’s all about the gameplay!” when their favorite game gets ripped on for some stupid gimmick or whatever were idiots. Obviously gameplay is the most important aspect of any game, but I would be damned if graphics, sound, replay value, etc don’t matter at all.
	Super Mario Land review (GB) Reviewed on November 28, 2007 Besides not having color, one of the main reasons why I didn’t care for the Game Boy was because of its games. It had some solid titles, such as Bionic Commando, Castlevania, and Kirby’s Dream Land, but they were all watered-down ports of NES games. In the end most of the crap that came out for the Game Boy either sucked or was a port. This wasn’t the case with every game though. Two of the Game Boy’s few unique games were the well-known puzzler Tetris, and Super Mario Land, Mario’s first...
	Project Gotham Racing 2 review (XBX) Reviewed on November 28, 2007 Although Project Gotham Racing is one of my favorite Xbox games, I know that there’s plenty of room for improvement. After two years of solid playing I’ve accumulated more than five hundred thousand total kudos, earned gold medals on the hardest races, and unlocked everything that the game has to offer. But with that being said I’m also aware that it isn’t for everyone. To accomplish this goal I had to go through several hours of frustration that would’ve caused most gamers to quit. In the matte...
	Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars review (SNES) Reviewed on November 28, 2007 Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars was the first RPG I ever played and I couldn’t of asked for a better one.
	Unreal Tournament 2004 review (PC) Reviewed on November 28, 2007 As much as I love multiplayer first person shooters, the general idea of the genre is getting quite redundant. You pick up a gun, hunt down enemies until you’re dead, respawn, and repeat the process. Maybe you’ll even grab a flag or diffuse a bomb in the middle of it all. There are some other variations, but you are always performing the same actions over and over again. It’s sort of like running a route in American Football, except you’re usually running the same one with only slight variations...
	Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock review (X360) Reviewed on November 28, 2007 Guitar Hero III is the best game in the series by far, and a great game in its own right. Prior experience with the series isn’t necessary because anyone can pick the game up and have fun. The range and quality of music helps in making it accessible to everyone, and this will be reinforced with the post-release stream of downloadable content.
	Kane & Lynch: Dead Men review (X360) Reviewed on November 27, 2007 It all went along according to plan: me and five or six other players charged a restaurant with the intent of getting a briefcase filled with money that a senator is holding onto. Of course, it wasn't gonna be easy, as displayed by the number of bullets that flew our way when we got closer to the shop. Guards outside did their best to keep us out of the building, but we pushed on, with our guns and with our grenades. Seconds later, with dead bodies littered everywhere, both guards and unfortunat...
	Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker review (DS) Reviewed on November 27, 2007 Just as the upgrade and customization features abolished everything Pokemon has shown us in the past five years, DQM scores another point for monster synthesis. You could literally spend hours testing monster combinations and still have only scratched the surface.
	Geometry Wars: Galaxies review (WII) Reviewed on November 27, 2007 This is it. Hordes of enemies are closing in on you from every direction. You can’t get out of here alive. Don’t look so sad; you’ve fought well. Your exploits will be forever immortalized on the Leaderboard. How many times have you cheated death in these past few minutes? How many of the enemy forces have you slaughtered for your nameless cause? The only death toll you’ll ever know is the high score ranking at the corner of the screen. It’s not like that matters now, anyway. You can’t keep this...
	WWE SmackDown vs. RAW 2008 review (DS) Reviewed on November 26, 2007 WWE Smackdown Vs Raw 2008 delivers the first DS wrestling game ever and the first 3D wrestling game for a Nintendo handheld. Unfortunately, the action is truly limited to a 2D form. Instead of controlling wrestlers with a control layout similar to Smackdown 2: Know Your Role, you perform moves by tapping buttons on the touch screen. For example, you can tap a quick attack icon or a powerful attack icon, then swipe or spin your stylus in the direction requested. It’s rather fun, but doesn’t a...
	WWE SmackDown! vs. RAW 2008 review (PS3) Reviewed on November 26, 2007 WWE is laying the smackdown again, but not just on a few home consoles, but on every modern console. This is the first go around for a Smackdown game on the PS3, so fans will definitely be expecting better graphics and realism and Yukes delivers.
	WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2008 review (X360) Reviewed on November 26, 2007 WWE is laying the smackdown again, but not just on a few home consoles, but on every modern console. This is the second go around for a Smackdown game on the Xbox 360, so fans will definitely be expecting more action than ever and Yukes delivers with even better visuals and a more realistic experience.

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