Review Archives (All Reviews)

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	Discipline: The Record of a Crusade review (PC) Reviewed on January 13, 2008 Long ago, some forgotten professional reviewer bemoaned the notion of a restrained hentai game. H-games should be outrageously grotesque and push the limits of good taste, he opined. Cum should fly freely across the screen. Orgies should abound. Discipline: The Record of a Crusade works towards that ideal by presenting stunning levels of repellent perversion. Where else can you watch a young lady savor a steaming bowl of rice topped with globs of semen?
	Life Force review (NES) Reviewed on January 13, 2008 If you have seen the movie Silent Hill then you may remember the moment before Rose descends into the underground labyrinth to confront the so-called "demon". She stands briefly before a map, closes her eyes, and attempts to commit the path she must follow through those winding halls to her memory. Her experiences thus far in the film have taught her to expect any assortment of horrifying abominations to obstruct her way, thus any misstep she might make would likely result in her death....
	Omega Five review (X360) Reviewed on January 13, 2008 Omega Five isn't the most original shoot 'em up title ever made; in fact, it doesn't even try to do anything new to rejuvenate the genre. It sticks to the basics and reuses moments from other shmups, like when you encounter a giant, flying centipede in the second stage. As the level begins, you only see it pop in and out of the trees in the background, but it eventually dives into the foreground. Seconds later, it maneuvers around the screen while shooting bullets everywhere, forcing you ...
	Super Paper Mario review (WII) Reviewed on January 13, 2008 Turning Mario & Co. into paper cut-outs was a surprisingly good on Nintendo’s part. After all, it led to the creation of the excellent Paper Mario RPGs on the Nintendo 64 and Gamecube. Super Paper Mario is the third installment in the series, but it alters the formula to the point where it's almost unrecognizable. While this prevents the series from becoming stale, the changes weren't necessarily for the better. While some of the additions to Super Paper Mario are clever...
	Montezuma's Revenge review (C64) Reviewed on January 13, 2008 Back in the good old Commodore days of gaming, when a game took half an hour to be loaded from tape and 'shockingly realistic animations' meant some sprites went through two frames, graphics meant very little to us. I'd say they meant nothing, but that's not entirely true: we did want them functional. Colours were there to help distinguish what happened on the screen, not to make your jaw drop. As long as we could tell what was going on, we didn't really care about any eye candy. We preferred to...
	Xenogears review (PSX) Reviewed on January 12, 2008 Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.
	Miracle Warriors: Seal of the Dark Lord review (SMS) Reviewed on January 12, 2008 I remember the first time I played Final Fantasy 2 (AKA FF4 in Japan) from start to finish. It was quite nice. One day I thought about playing the whole game again. But then, when I pressed 'Start', before I got control of Cecil & Kain (the heroes), I had to watch a several-minute-long intro. The Intro was interesting the first time, but not this time. I wanted to kill monsters ASAP, not see again the boring reasons that made Cecil start doubting his role as an army commander.
	Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition review (WII) Reviewed on January 12, 2008 There’s nothing more satisfying than the realistic feel of physically aiming at and bursting the decrepit watermelon of a zombie’s skull with the morbid Gallagher's hammer of your shotgun blast. There’s nothing more invigorating than feeling that sigh of relief twist into a horrified grimace as you realize there are ten more behind you - and instinctively, almost mechanically turning 180 degrees and balancing firing, dodging and reloading with the dexterity of an octopus until hordes of our corr...
	Everquest II: Rise of Kunark review (PC) Reviewed on January 12, 2008 Even when you leave the lush vegetation of Timorous Deep it becomes clear that the aspect of soloing is especially strong within the Everquest II universe, meaning you don’t need to scourge for a party before you try to take on even the simplest task. It’s an option that a lot more MMOs could do with including.
	Zombie Nation review (NES) Reviewed on January 11, 2008 When I saw the cover art for Zombie Nation, I initially thought, "Whoa, this game looks awesome! I can't wait to kill all these zombies! I don't really know what that giant head is laughing about in the background, but whatever, this game has to be good!" I soon discovered that the giant head on the cover was laughing at me. Not only laughing, but cackling. Cackling because his crappy old game sold again(I bought it used). His plan to lure me in by means of box art worked ...
	Mega Man X6 review (PSX) Reviewed on January 10, 2008 With the release of Mega Man X5, series director, Keiji Inafune, had completed his vision. As far as he was concerned, the X series was finished. The suits at Capcom thought otherwise. Mega Man X6 is little more than a cash-in on the franchise's popularity and is a soulless, unnecessary addition to the series.
	Uninvited review (NES) Reviewed on January 10, 2008 "LOOK OUT!! The last thing you remember before blacking out was a shadowy figure appearing in the road in front of you. You heard your sister cry out as you swerved the car into this tree. You realize that you are alone. Your sister must have gone for help." Chyeah right! We all know she was kidnapped, this is a horror game after all. What you just read, before my little piece of commentary, was the introduction to, "The Uninvited."
	Gargoyle's Quest II review (NES) Reviewed on January 10, 2008 Remember that red jerk from Ghosts n' Goblins? The one who'd be sitting with his back turned and when you got close enough he'd start flying around and knock your armor off? If not, here's a pic:
	Might & Magic III: Isles of Terra review (PC) Reviewed on January 10, 2008 Some RPGs strive to hold you by the hand from the first meetings with townspeople (''Do not forget to EQUIP your weapons and armor after buying them!'') to your final victory over the master villain (or in RPG slang, ''end boss''). In either subtle or distinct ways, the player is led from one town to another, one boss after the next, a bunch of quests in a set, clear order and if you're lucky, a couple of optional ones on the side. Then there's Might & Magic 3 which does quite the opposite. In a...
	Jagged Alliance 2 review (PC) Reviewed on January 10, 2008 The island nation of Arulco is, without a doubt, in the biggest mess it has ever been in. A mad and ruthless queen has seized control of the country and its mines, and money is her only concern. The population has been reduced to poverty, a well-funded, oversized army keeps them in check, and as the queen grows richer and richer, the once glorious country is in shambles. A rebel force exists, but lacks the weapons and the manpower to make a difference. But that's where you come in. Armed with a ...
	Claw review (PC) Reviewed on January 10, 2008 Speaking of challenge, there is plenty of that in Claw, but there is also a very well balanced learning curve. The first levels aren't all that hard to complete, and even somebody who has never played a platform game before will get through them with only a little practice. The difficulty steadily increases, though, and by the time you are halfway the game, every new level seems impossible at first.
	Silent Hill Origins review (PSP) Reviewed on January 10, 2008 The spectre of Dahlia—the cult’s resident fanatic, bent on raising a god borne of pain and suffering—still serves as thematic backdrop for a lonely trek guided toward fate by broken doors and crumbling streets which gape at oblivion.
	Super Mario Galaxy review (WII) Reviewed on January 10, 2008 If anything embodies the simple beauty of videogame entertainment, it is Nintendo’s Super Mario series. For many gamers, its creative level design and instinctive gameplay underline the entirety of their gaming experience as much as the iconic characters are ingrained into their psyche. Super Mario Galaxy follows tradition and is so beautifully and imaginatively constructed it beggars belief. But while Galaxy revels in its old school prowess combined with its innovations, there are times when th...
	MX vs ATV Untamed review (PS3) Reviewed on January 09, 2008 That means that if you hate the MX moments, you'll likely despise the frequent stretches where you're forced to drive a motorcycle. The worst news of all, though, is that you have to clear each track twice consecutively within a series of events. Once you finish a race the first time, regardless of your position, you have to turn around and immediately play through it again (or exit out and lose your progress).
	NBA 08 review (PS3) Reviewed on January 08, 2008 NBA 08 is a solid basketball game featuring attractive visuals, a great soundtrack and the very entertaining NBA Replay mode. Basketball fans will especially find many of the modes very appealing.

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