Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Final Fantasy Tactics review (PSX) Reviewed on January 30, 2008 To win this fight, the game encourages you to run around the edges of the screen spamming Ramza's stat-up skills to boost him to super-human proportions while an enraged, mutated Weigraf chases you around like the victim of a poor Benny Hill sketch. After a few laps, Ramza will be so artificially bloated that Weigarf's heartbreaking final sacrifice will amount to naught.
	Eternal Sonata review (X360) Reviewed on January 30, 2008 When you walk upon this world, its beauty will leave you lost for words. The dazzling ambience of rich colour, every shade of the rainbow, is quite a sight to behold. It's almost as if Eternal Sonata is a vibrant dream, and that isn't far from the truth. This obscure tale unfolds within the confines of a dream; that of the famed composer, Frederic Chopin, who lies on his deathbed. And despite the unorthodox setting and cutesy characters, there are a lot of deep issues embedded in Chopin's...
	Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare review (X360) Reviewed on January 29, 2008 A world map hovers on screen and whirls around until the Middle East pops into view. The screen zooms in to a city along the west coast of Saudi Arabia, possibly Jiddah. We’re taken in closer, to the computerized image of two figures carrying an immobilized President Al-Fulani. A moment later and you’re looking through Al-Fulani’s eyes as he’s being thrust into the backseat of a car. As you’re driven through the war-torn city, you can do nothing but watch as masked terrorists fire guns, raid hom...
	Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones review (GBA) Reviewed on January 29, 2008 Your favorite character has perished in battle. Realizing there is no hope of reviving him, grief plagues you, and you pick up the pieces, go back to square one and restart the chapter with a scornful vengeance, coldly calculating your every move as to punish the enemy for your loss and avoid repeating the same mistake. It is the gift and the curse of the Fire Emblem series, the permanent loss of characters upon death and the sense of urgency and grandiose that goes with it. When coupled ...
	Furu Furu Park review (WII) Reviewed on January 28, 2008 Consider Bubble Bobble. You can still capture enemies in bubbles and collect the fruit they leave behind, only now there's no advancing to another screen. You just keep playing for most of two minutes—if you can survive that long, which isn't terribly difficult—and then your score is tallied. That's the beginning and end of Bubble Bobble, at least in Furu Furu Park.
	No More Heroes review (WII) Reviewed on January 28, 2008 There are a decent number of activities to take on in Santa Destroy, but the open-world portions are the game’s biggest weak point. There is a huge lack of polish in the city, and niggles like the shoddy collision detection and the inconsistent frame-rate are very noticeable. It’s difficult to shake the feeling that these segments would have been better handled through a menu screen than an interactive environment. The city is never a boring place, but considering how much time you’ll spend on the town, the lack of polish is troubling and could be a deal-breaker for some.
	Quattro Adventure review (NES) Reviewed on January 28, 2008 I was tempted to call Quattro Adventure a “compilation” until I realized what exactly that word implies. This long-forgotten (if it was ever remembered in the first place) NES title features four full-length games. I think of a compilation as being a re-release of a number of old titles that are either classics or overlooked potential classics that need an audience. Thing is, Quattro’s four titles were never released in any other form, because, as you may have guessed, they ...
	Sam & Max 202: Moai Better Blues review (PC) Reviewed on January 28, 2008 It even makes time to take sly shots at other games such as Portal’s teleport system, Duke Nukem’s inability to release a damn game on time and Metal Gear Solid’s over-dramatic death-scream. You know the one!
	No More Heroes review (WII) Reviewed on January 27, 2008 Meet Travis Touchdown. Things aren’t going very well for him at the moment. He’s living in a pathetic hole of a room at the No More Heroes Motel. He’s practically broke, but you wouldn’t be able to tell. His home is crammed with anime posters, miniature figurines (including a human-sized Gundam in his living room), an entire collection of luchador masks, and his cat, Jeane. He spends his days watching old films of anime or pro wrestling matches. He rents porn from the local video store, makes il...
	MX vs ATV Untamed review (PS2) Reviewed on January 27, 2008 There seem to be scores of cookie-cutter ATV racing games to choose from these days, all of them involving taking the four-wheelers through winding, bumpy courses, endeavouring to both win races and earn big points for pulling stunts along the way. Untamed adds motorbikes (and a few other novelty vehicles) to the mix, in the hopes of spicing things up.
	Teenage Queen review (AMIGA) Reviewed on January 27, 2008 COWER, BRIEF MORTALS.
	Zillion review (SMS) Reviewed on January 27, 2008 The last time I played Zillion was a few years back, and it was actually the first time I've ever completed the game. It felt great finally doing that after only venturing a few inches inside the underground base back when I first played it as a child. Back then, I had no idea what I was suppose to do, since the process of going from one room to another seemed like an impossible task. But when I attempted to take on the game again a few years back and took the time to understand how thing...
	BattleToads review (ARC) Reviewed on January 26, 2008 Despite also being the last, the arcade version of BattleToads is definitely the best entry in the series, and in a total coincidence marks a radical departure from all the other games.
	Gals Panic SS review (SAT) Reviewed on January 26, 2008 This atypically console-native edition of Gals Panic is hands down the best offering in the beloved “uncover a glowing silhouette to see some skin” genre – which is why it gets a seven. No seriously, it’s actually a surprisingly decent puzzle game featuring virtually identical gameplay to the arcade-only Gals Panic 4 along with that installment’s unusually tame content.
	Pirates of the Burning Sea review (PC) Reviewed on January 26, 2008 One of the biggest problems with MMOs is repetition, not specifically the grind of gaining levels or earning money. Actually, one of the most abrasive elements of repetition is addressed in the little snippet above. With all the World of Warcrafts and Everquests and Lineages and the legions of similar games who only mix up the gameplay slightly, it's nice to see a game where with only one screenshot, you can see a big difference. Nowhere will you see dwarves with huge glowing axes, or spell casters, or half naked elf women dancing for money in town square.
	Endless Ocean review (WII) Reviewed on January 26, 2008 Endless Ocean provides a unique challenge to both a reviewer and a player in that it seems to resist straight-forward description. While it can be said that the experience of playing any game will differ from player to player since no two people will want to play a game in quite the same way, Endless Ocean is essentially stripped of what little shared experiences gamers may have. There is virtually nothing to in Endless Ocean other than swim aimlessly among the fish of its...
	NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams review (WII) Reviewed on January 26, 2008 Everyone’s had a memorable dream or two. One of mine that comes to mind was when I was Link from The Legend of Zelda and I was fighting giant M&M’s. I don’t get it either but it was epic. One dream I hope I never have is flying around with a transsexual purple jester named NiGHTS, which is unfortunately the case in the much overdue sequel to the Sega Saturn sleeper hit (no pun intended), NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams for the Nintendo Wii.
	Contra 4 review (DS) Reviewed on January 25, 2008 Heroes aren't what they used to be. There haven't been any good, mind-blowingly badass characters in years. Sure, there's the occasional exception like Solid Snake, but the vast majority of today's protagonists are either a bunch of generic gunmen clad in fancy armored suits or whiny, self-absorbed, spiky-haired teenagers. So we get better stories and understand these new characters' perspectives and motivations. That doesn't necessarily make a good game. What happened to guys like Mike Haggar,...
	Super Swing Golf: Season 2 review (WII) Reviewed on January 25, 2008 After earning your Pang, you can then then head to the clubhouse to spend them on things like cute bathing suits and alternate club sets, if they're available in the inventory. Most of these accessories affect not only how your chosen character looks, but also how he or she performs.
	Neptune's Daughters review (C64) Reviewed on January 25, 2008 Sometimes, when I replay old Commodore 64 classics, I realize that some games are challenging for all the wrong reasons. Instead of simply requiring quick reactions, strategic thinking or simply concentration and nerves of steel, games from my youth have turn out to have been as difficult as they were because of sloppy controls. As I replayed Neptune's Daughters today, I was sorry to notice that this is one of those games where the challenge is not so much a design feature as a design flaw.

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