Review Archives (All Reviews)

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	NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams review (WII) Reviewed on January 26, 2008 Everyone’s had a memorable dream or two. One of mine that comes to mind was when I was Link from The Legend of Zelda and I was fighting giant M&M’s. I don’t get it either but it was epic. One dream I hope I never have is flying around with a transsexual purple jester named NiGHTS, which is unfortunately the case in the much overdue sequel to the Sega Saturn sleeper hit (no pun intended), NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams for the Nintendo Wii.
	Contra 4 review (DS) Reviewed on January 25, 2008 Heroes aren't what they used to be. There haven't been any good, mind-blowingly badass characters in years. Sure, there's the occasional exception like Solid Snake, but the vast majority of today's protagonists are either a bunch of generic gunmen clad in fancy armored suits or whiny, self-absorbed, spiky-haired teenagers. So we get better stories and understand these new characters' perspectives and motivations. That doesn't necessarily make a good game. What happened to guys like Mike Haggar,...
	Super Swing Golf: Season 2 review (WII) Reviewed on January 25, 2008 After earning your Pang, you can then then head to the clubhouse to spend them on things like cute bathing suits and alternate club sets, if they're available in the inventory. Most of these accessories affect not only how your chosen character looks, but also how he or she performs.
	Neptune's Daughters review (C64) Reviewed on January 25, 2008 Sometimes, when I replay old Commodore 64 classics, I realize that some games are challenging for all the wrong reasons. Instead of simply requiring quick reactions, strategic thinking or simply concentration and nerves of steel, games from my youth have turn out to have been as difficult as they were because of sloppy controls. As I replayed Neptune's Daughters today, I was sorry to notice that this is one of those games where the challenge is not so much a design feature as a design flaw.
	Sega Genesis Collection review (PS2) Reviewed on January 25, 2008 I especially appreciated the wonderful Ristar, one of my favourite Genesis games, which I was unable to unlock in the Sonic Mega Collection, despite doing what was ostensibly necessary to unlock it. The little star-bodied mascot with the rubber arms is as entertaining as ever, clutching enemies and slam-dancing them to death amidst the most colourful of environs the Genesis ever saw.
	Final Fantasy VIII review (PSX) Reviewed on January 23, 2008 For all the effort Square put into making Final Fantasy VIII’s plot interesting, it failed to trigger the emotional fireworks within me for one simple reason: I didn’t care.
	Flying Hero: Bugyuru no Daibouken review (SNES) Reviewed on January 23, 2008 The graphics were bright and colorful and it was pretty entertaining to see Sofel’s take on certain staple elements of shooters — such as the 1943-ish gunship in the game’s third level which leads to a boss fight when the final two crew members leap off the crippled boat and merge into a gigantic pirate bird.
	Ark of Time review (PSX) Reviewed on January 22, 2008 But, no, that would imply that a light-hearted slant had been taken on the game. Instead, Richard's position and news story are SERIOUS BUISNESS! This leads him to undertake serious issues like helping a local fisherman find his rare white crab who jumped ship while he wasn't looking. Said fisherman isn't the sharpest knife in the draw, so just painting any old crab will suffice -- teaching you that newspaper writers are rife with treachery.
	Vexx review (GCN) Reviewed on January 21, 2008 Whether you know it or not, you’ve played Vexx before in other forms. We all have. This is one of those games that rips off every other game of its genre that came before it and contributes nothing of its own. It contains no original ideas, no memorable characters, no real entertainment value… no conceivable reason for even existing other than to make money, which it won’t because no one would buy a game like this. I hesitate to call the game “bad,” yet I have no idea who to recomm...
	Sonic & Knuckles review (GEN) Reviewed on January 21, 2008 Sonic the Hedgehog 3 should never be played by itself. Ever.
	Brian Lara International Cricket 2007 review (X360) Reviewed on January 21, 2008 No matter the skill setting of the team you're playing, be it mighty Australia to pitiful America, there's about a 50% chance that they'll either be an LBW awarded or the ball will smash into the bails. Either way, look to bowl out entire teams for under 50 runs.
	The King of Fighters '94 review (NEO) Reviewed on January 20, 2008 It’s just another boring day at the office. As a mass murderer and leader of the international black market, Rugal doesn’t really have the time or patience for conventional fun. When he’s not busy slaughtering innocent people or conducting illegal operations, his life is pretty dull. His only real hobby is collecting trophies. Of course, they’re not the kind of brass cups and miniature figurines that you might think of. His trophies are the cast-ironed carcasses of all the fighters he’s killed i...
	Armored Core 4 review (X360) Reviewed on January 20, 2008 I stood on the lip of a craggy shoreline as ballistic missiles screamed towards my position. My mission was to safeguard the understaffed military headquarters that stood behind me. Set against the velvet backdrop of the night sky, they falter under the onslaught of bullets, rockets and pulsing laser blasts, their explosions causing a breath-taking chain effect as other missiles caught in the vicinity of their blast radius detonated early. The base I protect offer assurance...
	The Adventures of Bayou Billy review (NES) Reviewed on January 19, 2008 Since it’s a widely accepted fact that when it comes to action games we American gamers are veritable supermen compared to our nerdy, Dragon Quest-loving Japanese brethren, Konami laid the foundations for such future translations as Castlevania III, Contra: Hard Corps and Devil May Cry 3 by reprogramming Mad City so that it would be impossible to play. I mean not even CAPTAIN N can beat this, and he’s a GAME MASTER.
	World Snooker Championship: Season 2007-08 review (DS) Reviewed on January 19, 2008 I lost my game 15-80, owing my points to a few lucky “Smash & Hope” shots and a high break of eight when I managed to pot a red and then the black. The few shots I took only really existed to draw the ire of the commentator who had heaped nothing but praise on my opponent. This is because the control scheme can politely be described as ‘tricky’.
	Star Soldier: Vanishing Earth review (N64) Reviewed on January 18, 2008 The fifth level of this game has an almost Derridian, self-reflexivity to it: the screen goes black, you see the words "Level 5" in bold white text, and a deep male voice announces the stage's subtitle, "Terrible". Vanishing Earth is without a doubt the worst shoot 'em up on the N64. It's also the best. In fact, it is the only shoot 'em up on the N64. Unfortunately, it is so generic, so flawed, and so unresponsive that you'll feel like your playing underwater, that it isn't worth your...
	Monster Truck Madness review (GBA) Reviewed on January 18, 2008 Monster Truck Madness is a relatively unknown title with a number of merits. It has good graphics, pretty good draw distance, authentic monster trucks, and smooth frame rates. If anyone is interested in a fun pick up and play monster truck game, you will definitely want to check this one out. Monster Truck Madness is the definitive GBA monster truck racing game.
	Halo 3 review (X360) Reviewed on January 17, 2008 Halo 3 has plenty of amazing moments, but one of my favorites occurred in the game’s first half as I was fighting off Covenant defenses in war-torn Africa in a desperate attempt to destroy that thing our adversaries are digging up, that mysterious thing that the Covenant have managed to uncover from beneath the Earth’s surface, that thing that we all saw in the game’s announcement trailer a couple of years ago. I led my team of marines into a garage where we were able...
	MX vs ATV Untamed review (X360) Reviewed on January 16, 2008 Whereas I found that the motocross tracks were so tight and narrow that I spent too much time braking and turning to actually pick up the pace and have fun, the ATV courses really take the weight off and give me more time to appreciate some of the simpler pleasures of off road racing.
	Ratchet & Clank: Future review (PS3) Reviewed on January 16, 2008 In my opinion, the PS3 hasn’t had any exclusive games that appealed to me with the exception of Metal Gear Solid 4 and Final Fantasy XIII which are still a long ways away. However, when I saw previews for the new Ratchet & Clank game and learned it was coming out in Fall 2007, I was excited. I played the demo at the Penny Arcade Expo in August and loved it. My roommate has a PS3 but all the games he owns are crappy sports game so I had to fix that by waiting for my local Blockbuster to have a...

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