Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Metroid: Zero Mission review (GBA) Reviewed on October 14, 2007 Welcome to Planet Zebes. Population: exactly 800 words.
	The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass review (DS) Reviewed on October 13, 2007 You Nintendo bastards. You think you can take over the world with your touch screens and your motion-sensitive remotes? This battle against the conventions of gaming has raged on for years, and now look what you’ve done. You’ve dragged Zelda into this mess. Haven’t you reanimated enough familiar franchises as is? Can’t you give it a rest? You can do whatever you want to Kirby and Metroid, but not Zelda, man! LEAVE MY ZELDA ALONE!
	WarioWare: Touched! review (DS) Reviewed on October 13, 2007 Wario Ware: Touched! is fun depending on what type of person you are. If you enjoy funny, light-hearted stories, unrolling toilet paper, and using a peeing statue to stop a forest fire this is definitely for you. You will do everything in this game from cutting, poking, sliding, and even blowing all via the touch screen, save the latter.
	Portal review (PC) Reviewed on October 12, 2007 A woman fires an obtuse, pale weapon in to a pit, jumps down roughly two stories, pops through a hole in her original level, and is propelled to an elevated platform. In the android supervisor’s Microsoft Sam-esc voice, “fast stuff goes in, fast stuff comes out.” Such is Valve’s new game, Portal, part of their Half-Life 2 Orange Box compilation.
	Folklore review (PS3) Reviewed on October 12, 2007 You see, unlike in other action RPGs, you don't have a sword that you replace over time. Instead, the Folks that you absorb are your weapons. Each Folk you absorb gives you a new ability, be it a flamethrowing badass' ability to throw a stream of fire, an ice-breathing dragon's skill to charge up blasts of ice, or something as little as the spear attack from a merman that stabs forward with a trident.
	Might & Magic III: Isles of Terra review (PC) Reviewed on October 11, 2007 And those limitations make themselves known as soon as the game begins. Among the initial tasks set before players is one involving destroying the swarm of rats that’ve taken over Fountain Head, the town where the game starts. Attempting to do this immediately will likely lead to a quick demise, though, as those rats are a bit too fierce for a beginning party. Heck, even exploring the back alley’s of Fountain Head’s not advisable as there are a few slime-like critters capable of giving a group of novices a tougher fight that they might anticipate.
	Guilty Gear XX: Accent Core review (PS2) Reviewed on October 10, 2007 Heaven or Hell? What’s it going to be, pal? You’ve got thirty seconds to choose. You going to go the good-natured paladin, or are you going to go with that flame-spouting anti-hero? How about the woman with the sentient hair? No? What about that aristocratic vampire? Not your style, eh? How about the swashbuckling womanizer, or the prepubescent pirate girl that’s pining after him? That veiled assassin with the pool cue looks like fun, too. Look at that ten-foot monster draped in a doctors coat, ...
	Underworld review (PS2) Reviewed on October 10, 2007 Yes, they made a game about the movie Underworld. According to all sources it was released exclusively in Europe in January 2004, and it received no media coverage whatsoever. There’s not a single word about this game in IGN, Gamespot, GameFAQs or even this site, apart from the purely technical data like the fact that it actually exists or who distributed it. If I found this game myself it was only because it was being sold (obscenely cheap, by the way) in some obscure game shop I happene...
	Super Metroid review (SNES) Reviewed on October 09, 2007 It’s raining. Not like a little sprinkle or a fine drizzle, but an all-out torrent. The water is running steadily down the sides of Samus Aran’s spaceship, sending mini-waterfalls cascading to the muddy ground below. No one is going to mind, though. The natives of Zebes have long since cleared out of here. The only welcoming committee Samus could have expected included a bunch of laser gun-toting Space Pirates and a host of intergalactic monstrosities. But right now, there’s only this vas...
	5 Days a Stranger review (PC) Reviewed on October 09, 2007 I feel a bit dirty reviewing 5 Days a Stranger, it having been brought to my attention via a tiresome fan board-spamming campaign.
	Ghostbusters review (SMS) Reviewed on October 09, 2007 How come Winston isn't in this game? I know he shows up later in the film, but still...
	Boom Boom Rocket review (X360) Reviewed on October 08, 2007 Are they birds? Are they planes? No, they’re an array of fireworks from Bizarre Creations (Project Gotham Racing series) Boom Boom Rocket (BBR), a game exclusive to the Xbox Live Arcade on the Xbox 360. Boom Boom Rocket is a music game similar to Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero. Instead of a dance mat or guitar, you use your Xbox 360 controller. For 800 Microsoft points ($10), Boom Boom Rocket is an interesting idea.
	Bomberman Live review (X360) Reviewed on October 08, 2007 Long gone are the days of the dump that was Bomberman: Act Zero, and good riddance. Bomberman Live doesn't quite bring a new level of gameplay into the franchise - yes, there are new game modes - but it's still the same, good old bomb the hell out of everything� mechanic we've come to know and adore. For those unfamiliar with the series, a match begins with one player in each corner of a maze of blocks, some indestructible, some not. The player makes their way around by blowing up blocks (and...
	Cooking Mama: Cook Off review (WII) Reviewed on October 08, 2007 I'm an actual chef (part time) and I can tell you that it'd be more worth it to just learn to cook. This game isn't really flawed, other than the Wiimote bugging out and flying up when you swing down, but it's not that fun.
	The Darkness review (X360) Reviewed on October 08, 2007 I have one thing to say about The Darkness: people give this game far too much love. This game wasn't bad. It wasn't good, but it definitely wasn't bad. The graphics are pretty in HD, the search quests are aggravating, controlling your darkness snakes is unpredictable, and aiming is imprecise. I can't tell you how many times I went to shoot for a light as to not be noticed while enemies were around and got slaughtered because they heard ba-bang bang and ran around some corner, guns-a-blazing. I...
	Halo 3 review (X360) Reviewed on October 07, 2007 “It's what you all been waiting for ain't it”
	BreakThru! review (SNES) Reviewed on October 06, 2007 Despite what you may think, BreakThru is, in fact, not a game about falling blocks.
	Worms: Open Warfare 2 review (PSP) Reviewed on October 05, 2007 Basically, Worms plays like Lemmings would if the goal was to kill things with exploding fruit instead of to reach an exit. Each team gets a preset amount of time to maneuver his worm into position to strike at an enemy unit, and then the roles reverse. It's not just the opposing forces that you struggle against, however. The terrain itself is full of obstacles that need to be dealt with, but the actual method of dealing is quite open ended. Trickshots that involve ping-ponging grenades off of multiple surfaces and into the lap of a hostile worm are quite satisfying, but not the only choice.
	The Darkness review (X360) Reviewed on October 03, 2007 From Studio Starbreeze(the studio who brought you The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay,)The Darkness goes where few first-person shooters go, which is actually focusing on the characters and plot. The big question is, does The Darkness succeed in drawing you into its seedy underworld, or does it fall on its face and feel just like the mediocre first-person shooters that are becoming a trend?
	Mega Man X6 review (PSX) Reviewed on October 01, 2007 X: "Oh, no! Zero died! I think. And there’s a virus that’s going to DESTROY THE WORLD! I got to stop that."

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