Review Archives (All Reviews)
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Demon's Souls review (PS3)Reviewed on November 01, 2009What would happen if Godzilla and the Alien from Ridley Scott's movie had gone to hell to merge together, then came back as a hideous demon with a lean eight-pack(yes I said eight since it's not human..) and a mean punch that Captain Falcon would be proud of? Why you would get the towering monstrosity known as the Dragon God! Its roars are deafening even from far away. Your heart is beating fast. Its rage is seething uncontrollably that it never stops moving. Yet all you can do is wonder ... |
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Imadoki no Vampire: Bloody Bride review (PSX)Reviewed on October 31, 2009As you'd expect from any Atlus release, the concept is nothing short of unique: thrust into the billowing cape of Phaid, teenaged vampire prince of the netherworld, you've been temporarily exiled to the mysterious human realm known as "Japan" in search of a virgin bride, not for tawdry thrills but in order to sup upon her sweet, innocent blood. |
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Mr. Do! review (CVN)Reviewed on October 30, 2009Mr. Do is a clown. That's strike one against him. In this self-titled Colecovision debut he harvests cherries lying ripe in bizarre single-screen sub-terrains. His underground world is one of pastel and patterned colors, dirt-munching monsters and easily excavated soil which he burrows through with ease. If only his natural predators weren't so abundant, he might have it made, but alas Mr. Do is forever on the lam, digging for his next cherry under the dogging jaws of Badguys and Diggers, Bl... |
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Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars review (PSP)Reviewed on October 30, 2009Constant action. Constant fun. That’s Chinatown’s style. There isn’t any dating, there are no strip clubs and you won't be wooing your fat cousin with burgers and drinks. |
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Aion: The Tower of Eternity review (PC)Reviewed on October 30, 2009A persistent question throughout both Aion's beta and the early days of live was "Will this game kill WoW?" It popped up in the world chat channel more often than "Can I borrow 10 gold?" That by itself is pretty mind blowing, but really, it's a stupid question. No, Aion is not going to kill World of Warcraft. No game coming out in the foreseeable future is going to knock WoW from its throne, but that's the wrong question to ask anyway. Why should it need to? |
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Resident Evil: Director's Cut review (PSX)Reviewed on October 30, 2009The game that put Shinji Mikami on the map may owe an obvious debt to the creepy Cthulhu-conjuring madness of Alone in the Dark, but there's a reason that his own franchise went on to become an unstoppable money-making juggernaut while its predecessor slipped away into obscurity. |
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Valhalla Knights: Eldar Saga review (WII)Reviewed on October 29, 2009The downfall of mankind began with a meteor shower. Those little space rocks were a bad omen; not long after they fell, legions of monsters swarmed across the countryside. Millions were slaughtered, society collapsed, and the few remaining survivors of the various races banded together to save what was left. It took them a while, but they managed to drive back the hordes and lived happily ever after. Their descendants, on the other hand, weren’t so lucky. Evil has returned to the land of Eldar, ... |
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Demon's Crest review (SNES)Reviewed on October 29, 2009The abyssal awesomeness of Demon's Crest should have made it a darkly glittering jewel in Capcom's crown rather than a jester's cap of bells. Not only can you expect a stylish showcase of the macabre, but an unconventional formula that's best described as "Mega Man from Hell." |
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Tecmo's Deception: Invitation to Darkness review (PSX)Reviewed on October 28, 2009This is the story of Henry the merchant, a loveless miser who nonetheless ventures to the darkest depths of distant Zemekia in search of the fabled Castle of the Damned and handsome profits. After all, even the sadistic blackguard reputed to dwell there must surely appreciate those little niceties like silken bat wings, eyes of newt, and the carefully bottled tears of heartbroken virgins. Unfortunately this portly peddler's greed comes to an ignoble end when he finds himself impaled upon poisoned steel spikes that suddenly shriek forth from a nearby wall. |
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Obscure: The Aftermath review (PSP)Reviewed on October 27, 2009Another scene that comes to mind is one where you are trying to get an elevator moving while a monster charges at the open doors. These scenes kept me on my toes for the whole experience and make me feel obliged to recommend Obscure: The Aftermath to Survival Horror fans. But it’s a recommendation that comes with baggage. |
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Castlevania II: Simon's Quest review (NES)Reviewed on October 27, 2009This is either the crappiest translation in 8-bit history or a fiendishly clever plot to foist subscriptions to NINTENDO POWER upon precocious vampire-hating youths who were subsequently scarred for life by that awesome cover in which our hero clutches Dracula's severed but eternally undying head for all to see. |
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Army of Two review (PS3)Reviewed on October 26, 2009I am quite surprised to see that nobody has written a review for this game yet. Where to begin; this game does not take place in the present day, it starts in 1994, when private militaries start to take a stronghold in wartime affairs. The story quickly moves forward into the war on terror that started in 2001 and from there things get interesting, focusing on the problems of the day while adding a litte twist to the events and throwing in some humor. The characters are well put together and are... |
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The Colonel's Bequest review (PC)Reviewed on October 26, 2009Greed. Sex. Murder. Yes, The Colonel's Bequest has all the good things in life. It's even set in the heart of the Roaring Twenties, but unfortunately for the lovely Laura Bow there won't be any time for bootleg hooch or the devil's jazz. Our spunky flame haired sleuth instead finds herself surrounded by an ever dwindling cast of shifty suspects on Colonel Henri Dijon's crumbling bayou plantation, because nothing livens up a creepy old house quite like death. |
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Splatterhouse 3 review (GEN)Reviewed on October 25, 2009From the day it first oozed forth into unsuspecting arcades, the SplatterHouse franchise has been synonymous with outrageous violence, undying horrors from beyond the grave . . . and equally musty gameplay. Yet where its predecessors may have been stiff, simplistic side-scrollers, this third installment chucks out the old formula like so many decapitated heads in favor of brutal beat 'em up action featuring a few novel twists. |
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Too Human review (X360)Reviewed on October 24, 2009A more optimistic person than myself would probably assume that when a development team spends an entire decade on a pet project of theirs, they’re doing it for the love of the craft, to ensure that the final product is as perfect as it could possibly be. It seems infuriating that Too Human could wind up such a monumentally hollow bore after so much time on the workbench, until the realization hits you that good games only take a couple of years, at the most, to generate. When a ti... |
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Adam's Venture: The Search for the Lost Garden review (PC)Reviewed on October 24, 2009There’s not many locations you can squeeze into two hours, so they’ve all been gussied up accordingly. It’s only when the slightly subtle motifs of beating back darkness with your light are replaced by silver-tongued snakes and comments about how disaster befell the last woman to eat an apple in the Garden of Eden that you start forgetting it’s meant to be a game and start to wonder when you’re going to be told that when the Rapture comes, you’re going to be the first to die. |
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NHL 10 review (PS3)Reviewed on October 23, 2009NHL 10 is inarguably the epitome of EA’s drive to make the ideal hockey game and at this point, there really is no looking back. My only gripe is that after 09 we had so much more to look forward to. |
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Final Fantasy VII review (PS3)Reviewed on October 22, 2009Those who write Final Fantasy VII off as "emo" forget that it isn’t a game about a whiny group of teenagers. Cloud starts off as a cocky dick. The gamer is given the rare opportunity to witness the fall of this character. By the end, perhaps Cloud is a little depressing. But it takes him 40 hours of psychological and emotional abuse to get there. |
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Gemini Lost review (PC)Reviewed on October 21, 2009With infinite resources you might think that this game is a builder’s paradise, but unfortunately it’s not. Surprisingly, while the game gives you the freedom to collect as many resources as you want, it does not give you the freedom to build as much as you want. Aside from multiple houses, the game only allows one building of each type in predetermined spaces on the map, which usually means that you will accumulate wood and stone in your stockpile by the hundreds with no use for them. |
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Madballs in... BABO: Invasion review (PC)Reviewed on October 20, 2009Overall, Madballs is an enjoyable game for a while, especially at the $10 price point. However, it is not greater than the sum of its individual parts. If you want to play either a great shooter or a great platformer, there are other games that do it better at the same price range (have a look at Geometry Wars and Marble Blast Ultra). That being said, if you really want to do both at the same time, you could certainly be worse off, as the cartoony approach and style is charming enough to entertain, if only for a short while. |
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