Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Time Hollow review (DS) Reviewed on September 26, 2008 There’s been a rash of new DS titles recently – Kirby Super Star Ultra, the remake of Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, and the craptacular Sonic Chronicles. Yet, out of all the releases this week, most people have forgotten about one that would be the best had Nintendo not decided to release Kirby this week. That game is Time Hollow.
	Double Dragon II review (GB) Reviewed on September 26, 2008 So each one of these guys requires the same strategy. Lure them up or down to your level, hit the uppercut, hit the knee drop, run away before they recover and do the same thing over and over until the chap's down for the count. That's it. There are no variations to this formula and no tricks to dissuade you from using it.
	Contra Advance: The Alien Wars EX review (GBA) Reviewed on September 25, 2008 The sad, blunt truth is that the GBA is a black hole as far as creativity is concerned. 95% of companies have decided to "grace" it with Super Nintendo ports rather then strive to make it the 2D revival it should have been; franchise after franchise has been squandered on ports of games I can find for $5. There was, however, a sole company that held strong in the face of such corruption, pumping out quality 2D games like it was 1994. Eventually, though, the titles like Castlevania: CotM...
	Vampire Rain: Altered Species review (PS3) Reviewed on September 25, 2008 Vampire Rain is supposed to be something of a horror game. But all that it delivers is the horrifying sensation that you need to run. Not because of the imminent danger – vampires attack frequently, are hard to kill up close, and can slaughter you in less than three seconds – but because of how tired this game will make you feel.
	Toxic Crusaders review (GB) Reviewed on September 24, 2008 At the beginning of each segment of each stage, players get to choose between Toxie and any of his four sidekicks. I can't be bothered to remember their names because all of them are, for all intents and purposes, the exact same as Toxie. All five characters are the same size, have the same mobility and fire projectiles at the same speed.
	Burning Fight review (NEO) Reviewed on September 24, 2008 I've long enjoyed the art of combat. I get my kicks by travelling through thug-infested streets with naught but my own body to defend me, or a trusty iron pipe to bash in the skulls of bikers, hippies, lawyers and various other sorts of human refuse.
	Infinite Undiscovery review (X360) Reviewed on September 23, 2008 When the moon (known as the Throne of Gods) is chained up by the one called Dreadknight, the world is overthrown by evil. The chains run through the atmosphere, all the way from the moon to quaint towns and cities, turning vast areas into monster havens. At the same time the planet’s life is being destroyed, striking fear in its occupants while creating a theme Square Enix fans have come to embrace.
	Portal review (PC) Reviewed on September 22, 2008 So get this: I’ve got a friend who has never played Portal yet can still recite the game’s maddeningly catchy end credits song, word for word, along with his two nerdy buddies – I might be one of them – who like to sing the tune in public places just to freak people out. He’s cited the mechanical GLaDOS, the closest thing Portal has to a main character, as one of his all-time favorite villains, and has even brought up HK-47 (of the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic seri...
	Two Worlds: Epic Edition review (PC) Reviewed on September 22, 2008 If Two Worlds is modelled as closely on Oblivion as it looks to be, then Reality Pump have missed the point entirely. The open world remains in full force and the art design is plagiaristically similar, but Two Worlds' judgement of what makes a high-quality digital RPG is way off. Bethesda mustn't know whether to laugh or cry.
	Mount & Blade review (PC) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 The term Fantasy RPG has a very entrenched definition. One assumes a linear plot-heavy game with an overworld map and random turn-based combat where small parties with members numbering in the single-digits fight each other with magic and the occasional steampunk. Elves, Dwarves, and the occasional magic-powered mecha might make an appearance.
	Monster Madness: Grave Danger review (PS3) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 If you want a new-gen Smash TV with corpses other than slightly homosexual-looking guys in body-tight red jumpsuits made from latex, then your choices are already pretty limited. Monster Madness: Grave Danger is pretty much the only way to go, but that’s okay. As long as you don’t belong in certain pigeonholes, you could have some fun here.
	Wild ARMs XF review (PSP) Reviewed on September 21, 2008 It truely is a fantastic example of the genre, but it's immediately obvious that innovation isn't the reason why. The game's biggest departure from genre conventions is that its play field is divided into hexagons instead of squares. This makes sense given the battle system of the last two traditional Wild Arms games, and adds a small bit of series recognition to the game, but the practical impact is nonexistent. The game feels very familiar immediately. Move a unit, select its action, move on. Simple.
	S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky review (PC) Reviewed on September 20, 2008 There was a point about halfway through the new S.T.A.L.K.E.R. when I realised I was playing a radically different game to the one I started a couple of days previously. The change is a gradual one, but by the time the phenomenal ambition of the early levels has become a mere memory, it's certainly noticeable. There's a conflict of interest at the heart of Clear Sky between radically open warfare and traditional first-person shooting. Neither of these facets achieves its aims perfectly, but there remains a lot to love about GSC Game World's latest creation...
	Doom 3 review (PC) Reviewed on September 18, 2008 When a group of artists labour for months or years on some magnificently coded and presented piece of gaming software, I can't help but feel uncomfortable about kicking their hard work – but Doom 3 is unfortunately boring and there's not much else I can do to it. I remember being pleased when id software announced they were going to switch their focus back to the single player experience with this title, coming as it did after a string of deathmatch oriented games, but the result is claustrophob...
	Battle Circuit review (ARC) Reviewed on September 17, 2008 Capcom has made a lot of beat'em ups during the late 80s and most of the 90s, some of which were street brawlers that involved mayors and ninjas, knights and magicians that fought inside dungeons that possibly included dragons, and a game where you run around in giant robots, tearing stuff up. So, after making a variety of brawlers, how does Capcom attempt to make another one without it feeling like a rehash?
	Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 FES review (PS2) Reviewed on September 16, 2008 Like the average fan of RPGs, I typically do not look back on my years in high school with fondness. So when Atlus began showing trailers of Persona 3, the most recent spin-off in the ever edgy Shin Megami Tensei series, I was obviously skeptical of the unusual format in which the player equally divides his or her time between school work and dungeon-crawling. I mean, this is the same series that had tried to revive Hitler; how did we go from that to sleeping through Engli...
	P.N.03 review (GCN) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 Late 2002 was a happy time for Nintendo fans. Capcom's famed Production Studio 4 announced a quintuple threat of games for the floundering GameCube, including a cel-shaded superhero game, a new entry in the Resident Evil franchise, a since-cancelled mythological shooter, an intriguing noir game, and a very stylish looking shooter named Product Number 03, or P.N. 03 for short. Anticipation for the games grew and grew, but when P.N. 03 came out in Japan, not too many pe...
	The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion review (X360) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 It brings sharply into focus exactly why Oblivion’s quick save and save anywhere features are downright vital. There’s a reason you and you alone are tasked with saving the entire world aside from Patrick Stewart telling you to do so: this reason is because everyone else in the region is a bloody retard.
	Hacker review (C64) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 To understand why Hacker became a cult classic, first it's necessary to know that the actual game is only part of the package. Think back to 1985, when games were already sold in stores, in a way not all that different from today - flashy boxes with cover art, blurbs of advertizing and little screenshots on the back, and a new smelling game and paper manual inside. Hacker, in the meantime, has a non-descript box with very little information on it, and inside, only a Commodore 64 cassette tape. N...
	Spore review (PC) Reviewed on September 14, 2008 The premise behind Spore is simple, really. Take a cell and grow it up until you reach space travel. Sounds simple, don't it? That's because it is. Spore is a very railroaded game until you hit the final stage, then it becomes sandbox. There are multiple paths that you can take in your own race to space, but they all lead to the same objectives in the end; which just so happen to be the game's biggest letdown.

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