Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Fahrenheit review (SCD) Reviewed on March 23, 2009 I’ve been gaming long enough to know what I enjoy. It’s not like there are certain games I’m not into just because I’m unaware of them – the genres I don’t play, I don’t play for a reason.
	Legacy of Ys: Books I & II review (DS) Reviewed on March 23, 2009 The back of the box says "this ultimate translation delivers the most substantial version of the famous story to date". It also refers to "new enemies and equipment". For North America, this is true. However, in terms of content, Legacy of Ys is nothing more than a re-release of Ys Complete I&II with new graphics, new music, and a new control system.
	LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga review (X360) Reviewed on March 23, 2009 LEGO Star Wars is not an easy game to describe with words. I can remember reading a few reviews for the LEGO games that have popped up in the last few years, and from them, all I understood was that the game was funny. I can even remember walking up to an in store demo of LEGO Star Wars, and not having the faintest clue what to do. I bought this game at bargain bin price, not knowing what to expect, except for a few laughs.
	Zombies Ate My Neighbors review (GEN) Reviewed on March 21, 2009 I found this game randomly while searching for something interesting to play. Its sheer strangeness attracted my inquisitive mind. I didn’t realize just how odd it would be, though. If the subtle allusions to other horror icons don’t draw interest, the utter weirdness will. After all, how many games have you fighting a giant baby that squirts you with its milk bottle and squishes you flat when it stomps on you?
	No More Heroes review (WII) Reviewed on March 21, 2009 In reviewing No More Heroes, it’s a natural instinct to compare the game to its spiritual predecessor, Killer7, but that won’t get you anywhere. The two games share a similar cel-shaded visual style and are both products of Suda 51, but that’s the extent of their similarities, save for the identical reactions they inspired from me: I don’t know what it is, but I like it.
	Watchmen: The End Is Nigh review (PC) Reviewed on March 21, 2009 I’ve decided that it’s pointless to judge Watchmen: The End Is Nigh as a genuine narrative addition to the Watchmen saga, because of course it fails. The graphic novel is considered the height of the medium by nearly anyone who reads it, and was penned by Alan Moore, one of the greatest writers of the last century; the game was made for no reason other than to cash in on the mainstream success that the license only just obtained a couple of weeks ago with the movie. You’ve seen thi...
	Starflight review (PC) Reviewed on March 20, 2009 When Binary Systems' space exploration adventure Starflight hit store shelves in 1986, it boasted some impressive features. I could recruit and train my crew, selecting among five different species. I could explore planets and harvest minerals or capture wild beasts. I could communicate with alien races in friendly, hostile, or obsequious tones, or I could communicate with high-powered weaponry.
	Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? review (GEN) Reviewed on March 20, 2009 The biggest security blanket the cartel of ne’er-do-wells revel in is that, though it certainly fares better than most educational titles, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? is still a more graphic version of doing your homework, and not even the nerdiest of us enjoy that.
	Kingdom of Loathing review (PC) Reviewed on March 20, 2009 Picture the scene. You face off against a scourge of this valley in mortal combat. The Council has request you aid the baron of this place, and you are eager to please.
	Unsolved Crimes review (DS) Reviewed on March 18, 2009 This night seemed to beg for a horrific murder. The power had been knocked offline for a couple of hours, and the storm was still raging. Rain had blown inside through the broken window – the killer's alleged escape route – and drenched the victim's dress and shoes. They were the only solid remnants of the young woman left in the dingy motel room. Her naked corpse had already been taken away, or at least, the mutilated pieces of it. Scattered chalk markings showed where each of her limbs ha...
	Major League Baseball 2K9 review (X360) Reviewed on March 18, 2009 In short, your hopes are strung along at first by a satisfactory visual presentation, with the telecast handled by two well-known baseball buffoons. It feels reasonably similar to a day at the park.
	Legend of the Ghost Lion review (NES) Reviewed on March 18, 2009 Bread is the ONLY way to heal Maria, so you'll always want a good supply of it on hand. In fact, the entire game revolves around how much bread you possess, as your goal at any given time will be to run to a dungeon, find all the treasure and get out as quickly as possible. If you have enough bread, that will be easy. If not, you'll be at the mercy of the game's lackluster combat engine.
	Resident Evil 5 review (X360) Reviewed on March 17, 2009 Throughout the first chapter — while trying to escape an entire city that hated me, while hiding in dark corners and climbing walls to escape the bloodthirsty masses — Resident Evil 5 provided a heart-pounding, frightening, and thoroughly playable adventure with some disturbing real-world implications. I knew these people weren't evil, just sick... but I killed them anyway. I had to kill them to survive — they were bursting through ceilings, climbing through windows, hiding behind fences. By the end, I was shooting everyone on sight, and feeling pleasure. Heaven help me if there was an actual innocent soul wandering the streets.
	Ultima: Quest of the Avatar review (NES) Reviewed on March 17, 2009 RPGs have always been about trying to combine disparate genres into a seemingly endless cycle of nerdier and nerdier products. It started when a bunch of guys sat down, threw some board games and copies of Tolkien on a table, and ended up with Dungeons & Dragons, which resulted in some other guys sitting down, throwing D&D rules in with computer programming manuals and creating Wizardry. RPGs have been combined with every conceivable genre, from first-person shooters (The Elder Scrol...
	Dead Head Fred review (PSP) Reviewed on March 17, 2009 Sometimes, when my life is overtaken by drudgery, I like to think about how it would be if video games were colours that you could mix together to get an entirely different hue. For instance, what kind of a shade would we get by combining Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones with a layer of Metal Gear Solid slapped on top of a canvas made from Splinter Cell? Would it be utter manliness set against ancient societies, Nazis, political intrigue and whips, or would it be a feste...
	Jake Hunter: Detective Chronicles review (DS) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 Because of humorous mystery games like Phoenix Wright, you may have forgotten that murder is a serious business. Jake Hunter is here to remind you of the harsh reality. Under the name Jinguji Saburo, the private detective has been solving crimes in Japan for over twenty years. Rebranded for North America, Jake Hunter: Detective Chronicles revisits three of his earliest cases. Unfortunately, you'll be following his footsteps rather than stepping into his shoes. A lack of real i...
	MadWorld review (WII) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 There’s a man dying in front of you. Blood is pouring out of his torso like a fountain, and the gash across his gut is deep enough to suck. He’s staring at you with wide, agony-stricken eyes, screaming at you for help. There’s not a lot of time, so you have to act quickly. There are several ways to approach this, though. You could just let him die. But that’s not what your sponsor wants, what the fans expect, or the what the rules imply. Besides, it’s just… boring. So what will it be? A s...
	Blue Dragon Plus review (DS) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 Blue Dragon Plus is ultimately too well-designed an RTS to allow for the most basic strategies, but at the same time, it doesn’t offer the most complex, either. Simply grouping all of your units together and rushing mindlessly from one encounter to the next often won’t cut it, especially when the difficulty escalates in the latter half of the adventure. At the same time, attempting to formulate any advanced strategies, trying to really make the most of your available unis, will result in aggravation.
	Grand Ages: Rome review (PC) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 Grand Ages: Rome is made by the same developers and initially could be mistaken to be the same game as IR. The strict attention to detail is still prevalent, as is the fluid economy and employment system. The one big thing that GA introduces is more variation. With its predecessor, it was easy to apply the same strategy to every map – maps which were all too similar to one another. The obvious aim of its spiritual sequel is to mix things up a little. This is something that's prominent from first play-through.
	Fenimore Fillmore's Revenge review (PC) Reviewed on March 16, 2009 Missing the mark in everything it tries to achieve, Fenimore Fillmore's Revenge is a catastrophe of an adventure game. Thoughtlessly designed and amateurishly crafted, it quickly descends into a pile of pointless gibberish and unfinished ideas. Fortunately, it's so insignificant that it's not worth getting upset about. If you're stupid enough to play it, make sure you disconnect your speakers first.

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