Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem review (GCN) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 I’m fairly certain that the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced in a video game happened in Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem. In one of the game’s many stops along the timeline of an ancient book detailing the history of a dark, unseen force, I found myself in the shoes of a Persian swordsman named Karim, who was journeying into the desert to claim a legendary treasure for his lover. The Forbidden City that Karim came upon looked startlingly similar to the one I’d explored as Roman sol...
	Sanrio World Smash Ball! review (SNES) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 So, Hello Kitty's Sanrio buddies DO have a competitive side. As the referee, she's above it all, but her pals grimace and showboat after each goal in the soccer and breakout amalgam that is Sanrio World Smash Ball. (SWSB.) It's still wholesome fun, from introductory-round enemies adorably whiffing easy kicks to the four-fruit passcodes for continuing at later matches. It even gets away with elevator music between matches. It's just far more intense than you'd expect from Sanrio.
	Metal Slug 7 review (DS) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 Not the handheld trainwreck you might have been expecting.
	Call of Duty: World at War review (X360) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 World at War is a mature and pragmatic representation of World War II.
	Zuma review (PS3) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 Zuma is a another budget priced puzzle/'casual' title from Popcap Games. Just like Bejewelled, it's all about making groups of the same colour disappear, but this time it's balls that you're popping, not gems. Please note that, throughout this review, we are avoiding any balls-related puns, because they're, well, balls.
	Gauntlet: Dark Legacy review (GBA) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 In fact, nothing moves quickly. It's hard to be intimidated by enemy generals — gigantic warriors capable of unleashing powerful close-range attacks — when they're plodding towards you with the speed (sans menace) of a George Romero zombie. And the thought of Death draining my life or experience wasn't that terrifying after I realized he was less the grim reaper than a cranky old man with a cane.
	Heavenly Sword review (PS3) Reviewed on July 15, 2009 Often, the most powerful sacrifices are made by one, but benefit many.
	Parodius review (SNES) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 Some gamers prefer a realistic gaming experience. Parodius is about as far from realistic as the Detroit Lions are from winning a Super Bowl. This is a space shooter that has your little starship avoiding a giant – albeit lovely – Las Vegas showgirl, surviving tight spaces in a candy crafted castle, warping about the playfield of a pinball machine and even blowing up penguins in a bathhouse brawl. Parodius is absolute nonsense, plain and simple, but I’ve never had so much fun in an...
	Operation Secret Storm review (NES) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 I'm not sure what surprised me more: the fact I only had to deal with seven or eight enemies before encountering the level's boss or that I was fighting the national bird of the United States in Iraq! Perhaps Color Dreams was slyly protesting America's decision to leave the Middle East with Saddam in power by having players beat up a symbol of their country to show they had the mettle to take out the "DICK TATOR". Or perhaps, the programmers were idiots. Considering two later bosses were a genie on a magic carpet and a demonic creature, I'm leaning towards the "idiot" hypothesis.
	Cocoto Platform Jumper review (WII) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 Platform Jumper looks like Rayman, plays like a lethargic Sonic and lifts the arcing attacks/temporary platforms from Rainbow Island. Notably, in aping games of actual worth, it manages to hobble together a Frankenstein’s monster of a title that actually works.
	Let's Tap review (WII) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 Let's Tap thinks outside the box. More specifically, right on top of it. The game offers up a hands-free control scheme where you place the Wii remote face-down on a box or flat surface. Tap nearby, and the vibrations travel to the remote and register as input. It'll even pick up the strength of the tremor.
	JSRF: Jet Set Radio Future review (XBX) Reviewed on July 13, 2009 When you really stop to think about it, Jet Set Radio Future is basically a fetch quest title: the main objective is to go around and search for tagged surfaces, so you can spray graffiti over them. Sure, it's slightly different since you're not collecting items when you find them, but the concept is the same. Apparently, Smilebit thought that wouldn't be enough, so they added a side quest where you do more fetching. Needless to say, this could have easily been an unfortunate wreck.
	Dawn of Discovery review (WII) Reviewed on July 12, 2009 Another feature that sets Dawn of Discovery apart from other simulation titles such as Civilization IV or SimCity is the occasional focus on maritime exploration. Instead of settling a single continent, you'll develop a bunch of smaller islands. This actually provides a unique dynamic, since you frequently come up against space constraints and also have to consider different fertility levels. For example, you might first land on an island where grain grows particularly well, but as your colony evolves from a simple fishing village into a city center, the people who live there will start craving hot spices, fashionable clothing and so forth.
	Jawbreaker II review (APP2) Reviewed on July 12, 2009 Jawbreaker 2 left me wondering: how small can a maze game be before it's not really a maze game any more? It lowers the bar further than I thought possible, as you run a clacking pair of teeth through five rows of dots with roving trap-doors between them. For all the cheery graphics, there isn't much to do, and yet it's more sophisticated than Jawbreaker, that silly clone of Gobbler, with enemies who actually get faster and smarter. Still, it's one of those games you can't b...
	The Witcher review (PC) Reviewed on July 12, 2009 Interesting, this game is nothing if not interesting. In so many ways the game is just enough different from all the rest of the RPGs to be considered quite good, in other ways interesting is quite odd indeed.
	Sins of a Solar Empire review (PC) Reviewed on July 12, 2009 This is a pretty darn good game. But it's just shy of being a great game. In fact it has improved my opinion of the RTS genre. I've had three RTS games that have really impressed me. The first of course is Age of Empires, I remember being very excited in my very first play of that game, the second was Company of Heroes, and this is the third. Interestingly it is the departures from the latest standard RTS fare that have re-ignited my interest in this form of PC gaming. Namely, it doesn't exactly...
	Mount & Blade review (PC) Reviewed on July 12, 2009 I ran across this game about a year ago on another game website. I noticed it was made a few years ago and it was a bit of an "Indie" hit. while it intrigued me I didn't want to pay for what was reviewed as an "almost but not quite" type of game. A couple months ago I tried the Demo.
	Knight Lore: Majou no Ookami Otoko review (FDS) Reviewed on July 12, 2009 Knight Lore was a breakout ZX Spectrum game where you walked through a huge castle presented in 45-degree-rotated view. You picked up reagents for a spell that would stop your nighttime lycanthropy, and each set of item locations offered a markedly different puzzle. The FDS version, which probably had to simplify some things due to memory constraints, tried to stretch itself with ungodly repetition. It achieved dilution, as anyone smart enough to solve its puzzles would see quickly.
	Valkyrie no Bouken: Toki no Kagi Densetsu review (NES) Reviewed on July 10, 2009 Valkyrie no Bouken: blah blah something grrarrh (VnB,) despite a fancy title, quickly establishes itself as mournfully bland before turning violently senseless. It achieves what personality it has by committing some baffling mistakes I haven't seen in other bad games. Unsure why anybody would write a translation patch for a game this weak, I Googled to find it was based on an anime series. I also found a detailed walkthrough on a dedicated website. Reading all the secrets hidden by the ga...
	Black review (PS2) Reviewed on July 10, 2009 Come 2006, the Xbox 360 had just been released, the PlayStation 3 had been announced, and Sony fans are eagerly not waiting for one as it costs a billion quid to purchase it. So what’s the best way for Sony to drown the fans financial sorrows? They could keep the hits rolling when the PlayStation 2’s contemporaries have declared themselves dead, or they could push the hardware so much that fans can almost convince themselves they’re playing a 360 game. Or maybe they should focus on the future an...

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