Review Archives (All Reviews)
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Breath of Fire II review (SNES)Reviewed on September 16, 2011Perhaps the poor NoA censors just couldn't comprehend what they were playing, shrugged their shoulders and let it all go through without chopping out minor details like how the villain is a demon using a Christianity-like religion as a front to absorb peoples' souls to increase its power. Or how, in spectacular fashion, the final boss utilizes the game's "anyone can die" mantra to such effect that I still look at the entirety of that confrontation as one of the most epic in J-RPG history. |
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Operation Secret Storm review (NES)Reviewed on September 16, 2011As if dodging throwing stars from several Jackie Chans isn't enough, realizing that about half of your punches aren't landing only boils your blood further. It might be a welcome boil if the payoff were worth the while. Unfortunately, once you remember that Operation Secret Storm is a Color Dreams title, you lose any hope that the payoff is of worth. |
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Bodycount review (PS3)Reviewed on September 15, 2011Somewhere along the way, the vision for this game was lost and what remains is a jumbled, unsatisfying mess. There are good ideas here - the controls work very well and the core ideas the game calls on have potential. It's just very poorly conceived. Nothing really meshes together and I got the feeling that it was just put to market because they'd spent so much on it already and it was too expensive to try to salvage it. I can't really recommend Bodycount to anyone. |
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Star Fox 64 3D review (3DS)Reviewed on September 13, 2011Unfortunately, Starfox 64 3D doesn’t benefit as much from that finally-genuine third dimension as you might suppose. Depth effects look terrific in the cutscenes that bookend the various stages, certainly, but the levels were never designed to actually utilize three dimensions in any meaningful way. This is essentially a cluttered rail shooter with vast expanses of empty space serving as the backdrop while in the foreground, floating debris from ruined space stations and asteroid fields serve as the points of interest. |
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Gradius ReBirth review (WII)Reviewed on September 11, 2011Gradius ReBirth, the first game in the ReBirth line that's currently exclusive as WiiWare downloads, also happens to be the console follow-up to Gradius V. However, if you're expecting 3D, flashy graphics like its 2004 predecessor, then you will be disappointed, as the title imposes a retro, 16-bit visual presentation. |
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Mega Man review (NES)Reviewed on September 10, 2011I relish fighting off a legion of floating animate flames or blasting shark-faced missiles out of the sky. I still get a giant kick riding the annoying moving platforms in Gutsman's stage. No matter how many f-bombs left my mouth when said platforms dropped me at key points, I still played. |
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Call of Duty 3 review (PS2)Reviewed on September 09, 2011Whether it be the Americans, Canadians, British or Polish, there will be arguments and in-fighting as the troops are faced with imminent death while pushing into occupied territory. Well, maybe not the Poles, as their main purpose seems to be to provide Treyarch an excuse to toss a touch of tank combat into the mix. |
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Kyotokei review (WII)Reviewed on September 09, 2011Kyotokei tries to be the horizontal Ikaruga and it does what it sets out to do in a perfunctory fashion, lacking distinction or panache. That being said, if you loved Ikaruga, you’ll like Kyotokei, because how many other colour based shoot-em-ups are there really? |
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Rampage review (NES)Reviewed on September 07, 2011It's understood that many arcade games are repetitive, but most of them packed on the challenge and changed up what variables they could to make each level at least feel different. Such tiny changes keep a game from going stale. Rampage does neither, and suffers for it. |
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Driver: San Francisco review (X360)Reviewed on September 06, 2011Driver: San Francisco surprised me by showing how much life the series still has left. If it weren’t for Ubisoft's infuriating obsession with curbing piracy and secondhand sales by way of the terrible uPlay platform, I'd have given the game an even higher score than it already has. |
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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom review (NES)Reviewed on September 05, 2011All the time spent trying improve your Temple of Doom skills could be better spent mastering far more interesting games, ones that don't consist of banal collecting in a confusing mess of platforms. |
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Sexy Parodius review (SAT)Reviewed on September 04, 2011Going into this installment for the first time, with experience of the previous three titles to aide me, Sexy Parodius still managed to surprise. |
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El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron review (PS3)Reviewed on September 04, 2011El Shaddai has a lot of interesting ideas, but it fails to fully implement them. |
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Bonded Realities review (X360)Reviewed on September 02, 2011You control a quartet of preschool kids who, while playing in a sandbox, get warped to a mystical world and placed in bodies more capable of monster battling than the average tyke. Kind of like Avatar without the ungodly budget. Or the contrived "nature and conservation are good" plot. Instead, the contrived plot here revolves around the typical world-dominating dictator. Or it does eventually. |
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Disney Guilty Party review (WII)Reviewed on September 01, 2011There are three settings. As a rookie, you won’t have any trouble at all. Just mashing buttons or waving the Wii Remote around is enough to pass half of the challenges with flying colors. Before long, you’ll earn a promotion and the game offers more resistance. You should still do quite well, but then you’ll earn yet another promotion and suddenly all of the mini-games leave so little room for error that (until you’ve played them a number of times) you’ll fail them as often as not. |
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3D Pixel Racing review (WII)Reviewed on September 01, 2011Unlike other gimmicky racing titles, there are no tricks, upgrades, weapons, or anything else to distinguish 3D Pixel Racing from your typical racing game apart from presentation. Even if you do master the controls, it's hardly worth the payoff. |
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Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten review (PS3)Reviewed on August 30, 2011While the story is new and its high-quality presentation is a delight that long-time fans by now take for granted, you’ll likely be surprised by some of the other improvements. For instance, it’s now possible to assemble your own pirate ship so that you can raid the Item World. On trips to your own Item World, you’ll find parts that you can use to customize your ship, plus you’ll battle more pirates than ever before. You can even have your custom pirate crew head online and raid other folks’ worlds, or help them out if you prefer. |
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Jikkyou Oshaberi Parodius: Forever with Me review (SAT)Reviewed on August 28, 2011I feel like I'm telling a joke if I even mention those three bosses: a singing panda, a school girl with bunny ears, and a living spaceship with a giant bra walk into a bar. |
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Rock of Ages review (X360)Reviewed on August 27, 2011The persistent silliness is supplemented nicely by a unique mix of action and strategy elements. A given round begins with the human hero locked in a fortress on one side of the map while his antagonist is sequestered in a similar structure on the map’s opposite edge. Between those two points, on the high ground, there are two mines. Your followers feverishly work to fashion a large stone boulder that you will then guide as it rolls down the slope and toward your enemy’s fortress. You try to avoid taking damage so that you retain as much of your mass as possible and can break through your foe’s gate when you arrive. |
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Dragon Quest VI: Realms of Revelation review (DS)Reviewed on August 27, 2011Dragon Quest VI's main draw will always be its extraordinary plot and immense world. The plights of each world's citizens feel real, raw. They’re moving and inspire players to do all that they can. The enormous map will ensure that you're still discovering new places well into your fiftieth hour. But most of all, once you’ve uncovered that last inch of land, you'll be sad it's over. You'll look back on all that you've done and ask, “Why did it have to end?” |
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