Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Polar Panic review (X360) Reviewed on February 03, 2010 With his home destroyed and family captured, this Ursus maritimus snuffs out Globoco, one life at a time. Sounds like the setup for a gruesome action adventure, but Polar Panic is actually an adorable puzzler. Murder may be the main goal, but the animated adversaries make sure it isn't morbid.
	MAG: Massive Action Game review (PS3) Reviewed on February 03, 2010 As the battles progress, they prove to be too large to happen the same way every time, but also orderly enough not to be complete chaos. While you're not directly influencing the battle elsewhere all the time, you are still aware of and often depend on the other players there to complete the missions. Whether you rise to become a leader, or a good soldier.
	FIFA Soccer 10 review (X360) Reviewed on February 03, 2010 The referee will even miss fouls, be inconsistent with bookings and red cards, and make incorrect calls of offside from time to time and, while that annoys the hell out of me when it doesn’t go my way, I can’t help but hugely appreciate the way EA have shoehorned an element of human error into computer-controlled official.
	NBA Live 10 review (PS3) Reviewed on February 03, 2010 The characters in this year's game move with more faithfulness to their real-life counterparts. The difference isn't huge, but it's there and it's just one of many tweaks that I absolutely appreciate. Other upgrades have also been made to things like the pick-and-roll control, opponent AI, blocking, dribbling, foul mechanics, rebounding, character models, sweat shading (you know you love it when the players glisten credibly), arenas, lighting and everything in between. I can confidently say that if you were to pinpoint every minor change, type up a comprehensive list and print it out on paper, you'd fill several pages.
	No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle review (WII) Reviewed on February 02, 2010 Some have said No More Heroes is like nothing you've seen before. Unfortunately, fans can't say the same for its sequel. It often feels like a budget-priced, sugar-free facsimile of the original; less of a time investment, but ultimately less satisfying. That being said, I enjoyed Desperate Struggle enough to know that newcomers will be floored by its action and insanity.
	No More Heroes review (WII) Reviewed on February 01, 2010 I've rarely played a game that prides itself on being "punk". Grasshopper Manufacture even revamped their logo with the motto "Punk's Not Dead" to reflect this brand new attitude. Yet it's not like Suda 51 changed styles. In essence, the demented game designer has been making punk games all along with his unconventional fusion of abstract pop art and minimalist game design. The only problem was he never had an image to fit his style...
	Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - The Crystal Bearers review (WII) Reviewed on February 01, 2010 The biggest flaw facing those who give The Crystal Bearers a chance is the way that the game requires so much tedious backtracking. Though the world that you'll explore throughout your adventure is beautiful, it's relatively small. That should mean that you almost never get lost, but it turns out that the available map is a lot like a blond airhead: fun to look at but useless in a jam. With that being the case, you'll need to rely on signposts that pepper the various roadways.
	Sonic Unleashed review (X360) Reviewed on January 31, 2010 At first, I couldn't figure this game out. I mean, in the few moments of clarity in which I felt like I could get my head around the possible thought processes that might lead to a game like Sonic Unleashed, I caught myself wondering how the two completely contradictory ideas therein even came to exist within a single development team working on a single game, and then I had to reboot.
	Technomage: Return to Eternity review (PSX) Reviewed on January 31, 2010 So, who has heard of Technomage? Admittedly, the very fact that you are reading this heavily suggests that you do, but you have to admit, this was a very quietly released game, made by the German company Sunflower. Again, not heard of them? It's okay, neither had I. So, an all but unheard of game, made by an all but unheard of company. This never bodes well.
	Joshua and the Battle of Jericho review (NES) Reviewed on January 30, 2010 Given Wisdom Tree's notoriety in retro circles, their take on the mediocre puzzler Crystal Mines should not have been any good. Yet while most of Wisdom Tree's games copied from other genres and forced Bibilical stuff in, most of Joshua's hundred levels create small stories so it doesn't feel like just an action puzzler. Though the puzzles are quite good too, as Joshua blasts around with his trumpet (how Jericho was destroyed, you know,) collecting five question blocks and adequate...
	Vandal Hearts: Flames of Judgment review (X360) Reviewed on January 30, 2010 On one level, Flames of Judgment proudly lives up to the original's standard. This Live Arcade release did bring me back down memory lane a few times. The problem is that it didn't do so for very long. The average turn-based strategy game I've played seems to have about 25-35 main quest battles. Here, there's about 15 or so.
	Half-Minute Hero review (PSP) Reviewed on January 29, 2010 Told in a generational sort of manner that's reminiscent of a more expanded Dragon Quest V, the plot in Half-Minute Hero won't win any awards for narrative originality. It obviously isn't trying to, either. Instead, it has fun rushing players through a laundry list of RPG cliches. The rapid-fire nature of plot twists prevents every 'surprise' from growing tiresome, even when you saw it coming whole seconds ahead of time, because you're constantly moving to a new location or task.
	Mass Effect 2 review (X360) Reviewed on January 28, 2010 Defending Mass Effect has never been easy, since the game’s unpolished mechanics, cumbersome driving segments and barren, repetitive environments form a strong case against it. The case against it is so strong, in fact, that I often have questioned my own enthusiastic evaluation of the game. So thank you, BioWare. Thank you for taking all of the criticism to heart, for fixing nearly everything that was wrong with the first game and for giving me a sequel for which I no longer need to make excuses. Mass Effect 2 is as extraordinary as its predecessor was, but it no longer needs justification. It really is that good.
	NCAA Football 09 All-Play review (WII) Reviewed on January 27, 2010 NCAA Football 09 for the Wii sports the All-Play gimmick that is supposed to help video game football newbies get acclimated to the game. However, the game is so poorly executed that it’s a bigger rip-off than the outrageous prices you pay for concessions and programs at sporting events. EA really fumbled the ball with the awkward controls and overall presentation, making the game virtually unplayable.
	Torchlight review (PC) Reviewed on January 27, 2010 To its credit, Torchlight is much more than just a cash-in on our nostalgia. As much as it is an homage to its diabolic predecessor, Torchlight easily stands on its own as a game. Rather than using those familiar Diablo elements as a crutch, it takes those elements and gives them just enough of a twist to make them fresh again.
	Bayonetta review (X360) Reviewed on January 24, 2010 The nimble and unusual lead character perfectly matches the fast-paced, responsive combat. Bayonetta features a blend of third-person melee and gunplay similar to Devil May Cry; sword slices are followed by pistol shots, although you're free to personalize your fighting style by attaching different weapons to each appendage. If you don't care for the sword-and-pistol combination, then use the whip to toss angels into the air, and blow them away with the Kilgore cannon!
	Death By Cube review (X360) Reviewed on January 24, 2010 You might call it a post-apocalyptic battlefield simulator, or a Geometry Wars clone or perhaps you'd even call it art. Certainly, the minimalist approach makes a case for that last descriptor. There's something beautiful about the simple way that the beautiful red oil splays across the screen, blood-like in its consistency. There's a subdued grace, too, as your robot glides over the desolate grid that makes up his world's landscape. There's even a certain emotional element driving his quest to set things right in a world he finds so different from the one that he once knew.
	Bayonetta review (X360) Reviewed on January 24, 2010 At first, I was concerned about getting into Bayonetta, due to my "experience" with the Devil May Cry series. Now, as of this writing, I've only completed Devil May Cry 1 and played the Devil May Cry 4 demo, and I was terrible with both. In DMC1, I was dying at least... a million times in every chapter, and in the DMC4 demo, the boss killed me. I didn't think the boss death was bad at first, until a DMC expert I knew told me it was an extremely easy boss to kill. So, with those two wonder...
	Lady Tut review (APP2) Reviewed on January 23, 2010 I believe Lady Tut is the first game I ever solved, and it was worth it. Three-level deals that wiped me out with a roided-up version of the first level after one loop don't count. Neither do games that repeat at the highest difficulty. LT is a series of nine mazes with exotic monsters and turnstile doors that flip ninety degrees so you can alter the maze. Pick up one key and open a lock to the next level--or, later, go get another key way on the other side of the maze, to open the SECOND...
	Snack Attack review (APP2) Reviewed on January 23, 2010 Too many dot-maze games risked little in aping Pac-Man. Snack Attack commendably bent dots-in-maze conventions to bizarre and individual effect. Its three-level loop featured garish orange walls, gumdrops worth one (green) or two (red) points, a wind-up noise to start things, and a stupidly smiling pumpkin that appeared at random intervals in the center. The screen top flashed WRONG at those who dared breach the EDL; axis of moving. So wonderfully childish, and my first concern troll, too...

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