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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (Xbox 360)

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night review (X360)

Reviewed on February 10, 2011

On the other hand, the Reverse Castle possesses the Crissaegrim. This sword, only obtainable as a dropped item by a particular monster (one so weak, you'd never expect it to hold something so godly) is one of my all-time guilty pleasures in gaming. In an instant, Alucard goes from a mere overpowered protagonist to a deity of unholy destruction, flinging waves of agony in front of him with every tap of the attack button. Even the fearsome Guardian suits of armor will fall in no time, while many bosses can be obliterated before they even seem to be fully aware an intruder is in their lair. Few things in gaming can provide the sort of savage, sadistic joy this sword does.
overdrive's avatar
Phantom Fighter (NES)

Phantom Fighter review (NES)

Reviewed on February 10, 2011

It's pitch-black and freezing. The wind doesn't chill your bones as much as the stillness hanging over all the Chinese villages. The hustle and bustle of human life had been replaced by the horrified screams of the villagers as the kyonshis, undead creatures of East Asian folklore, devoured them, and then there came only complete silence. Even the insects dare not buzz and pasturing animals remain invisible. If a man were to listen ...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Super Meat Boy (PC)

Super Meat Boy review (PC)

Reviewed on February 07, 2011

Like all good stories involving giant saw blades, exploding pieces of sentient meat, and evil fetuses, this one is about a girl.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
The Sims 3 (Xbox 360)

The Sims 3 review (X360)

Reviewed on February 07, 2011

The Sims 3 is everything casual games strive to be. Whether you’re a fan of the wildly popular virtual life simulation series or not, there’s never been a better time to jump in than now. There’s something for everyone here, all presented in the attractive signature style that made the series so popular in the first place. The Sims isn’t a series that necessarily caters to any one type of gamer specifically. Instead, it makes a far more ambitious appeal to society as a whole, offering an unrival...
Calvin's avatar
The Ball (PC)

The Ball review (PC)

Reviewed on February 06, 2011

Ballin'
EmP's avatar
Hydlide (NES)

Hydlide review (NES)

Reviewed on February 05, 2011

Hydlide is madness contained within a plastic gray cart. To play it for too long and contemplate its dimensions and features is to go insane. It's an RPG of the worst sort, one that pads its gameplay out with grinding and guessing and gives you nothing else--no plot, no side quests, no other clues or NPC. You explore the tiny area to which are confined, bump into scores of enemies in order to kill them, listen to the same looping and overly high-pitched music, and perish many times in ...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
LittleBigPlanet 2 (PlayStation 3)

LittleBigPlanet 2 review (PS3)

Reviewed on February 02, 2011

Today’s play session lasted several hours, but I could have just as easily have devoted weeks to the same endeavor. There are literally thousands of options left for me to explore. I’m not sure that I would have believed just how much there is to the LittleBigPlanet 2 community if I hadn’t had the chance to experience it for myself. The people at Media Molecule and Sony have the right to be proud of what they have accomplished, and so do the creative gamers who have become a part of it.
honestgamer's avatar
Eternal Sonata (Xbox 360)

Eternal Sonata review (X360)

Reviewed on February 01, 2011

Eternal Sonata is a J-RPG in which you follow a group of anime-inspired characters through an adventure that seems like most every other. Among the main three characters are Polka, a terminally ill teenage girl who's going on a soul searching journey; Allegretto, a homeless guy who excels in swordsmanship and has the hots for Polka; and Fredrick, the incarnation of renowned pianist Fredrick Chopin who is convinced that the fantastical world that Polka and Allegretto live in is his dream a...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Crimecraft: Bleedout (PC)

Crimecraft: Bleedout review (PC)

Reviewed on January 30, 2011

It has the chance to stand out from the crowd, to not be just another also-ran, but it would be unfair to say it’s there right now. Should it continue down this path, its future looks promising.
EmP's avatar
Krazy Kreatures (NES)

Krazy Kreatures review (NES)

Reviewed on January 30, 2011

No lovable Russian ballet or upbeat tunes. All you get to start with is silence and an empty rectangle with a cursor inside. Before you can yawn, it rains cats and dogs. Literally, cats, dogs, and a few other animals begin piling up in the rectangle, and it's your duty to sort them out, making vertical, horizontal or diagonal trios of each animal to clear them off the screen and score. Later levels use “things”, which must be arranged in quartets; people in quintets; and monsters in sextets. Eac...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Sega Touring Car Championship (Saturn)

Sega Touring Car Championship review (SAT)

Reviewed on January 30, 2011

The Saturn has been home to many a racing title, mostly created by Sega's own departments. They all tend to vary in quality, but regardless, each of those titles are memorable for something. Daytona USA, the big one, is a flawed port, but still enjoyable thanks to fun play mechanics, good track design, cool bonuses, and a great, cheesy soundtrack. Sega Rally Championship is known as a solid port, despite suffering from being too much of a straight one. Manx TT has sheep. You get the point. So wh...
pickhut's avatar
Blood Drive (Xbox 360)

Blood Drive review (X360)

Reviewed on January 28, 2011

If you remove the hearts from Twisted Metal and Left 4 Dead and boil them down to their core ideas, what you have in Blood Drive is a near perfect fusion of the gameplay found in each. Twisted Metal has you steering cars occupied by sadists in a demolition derby and Left 4 Dead has you killing endless waves of zombies. Blood Drive has you participating in demolition derby events while running over loose zombies that have roamed onto the field...
asherdeus's avatar
Cthulhu Saves the World (Xbox 360)

Cthulhu Saves the World review (X360)

Reviewed on January 28, 2011

Thus begins the Old One’s quest for backwards redemption -- defeating some evil so he can unleash a greater evil. Sulking along the sandy beach he arrived at, he rescues his first party member, a star-struck water-based healer who incorrectly paints Cthulhu as her rescuing knight, and stomps off to his first village where he undertakes such heroic tasks as Saving A Boy’s Dog From A Cave.
EmP's avatar
Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time (PC)

Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time review (PC)

Reviewed on January 27, 2011

Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time wants to tantalize you with inventive gameplay and a fabulous 2D side scroller environment like a viewing into the past. However, one fatal flaw brings the whole construct crashing down. Building different devices to survive the hazards of the future is an intriguing idea, one crushed by shaky and inconsistent physics.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX (Xbox 360)

ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX review (X360)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

You could choose to mow them down with machine pistols or shotguns. With rocket launchers, plasma cannons or flare guns. With flamethrowers, assault rifles, proxy mines, grenade launchers or samurai swords. Railguns, icebeams, mini-nukes, souped-up pistols, golden guns or just a plain old kick to the head.
EmP's avatar
Xexyz (NES)

Xexyz review (NES)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

Humanity nearly wiped itself clean off the map, and the Mother Nature attempted to aid the process with a few hundred natural disasters. Peaceful fairies then came along and built a nation on the bones and smoldering ruins of humanity and called it Xexyz. To keep peace and order, they established five cute anime girls as princesses, and everyone lived happily ever after.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop (Lynx)

Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop review (LYNX)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

Like Kung Food, Dirty Larry compensates with enough health that you can get lucky and progress through much of the game. Both are examples of games that are fundamentally poor and have used above average size lifebars to try to hide the damning facts, that hits on opponents often don't register and situations they create incur unavoidable damage on the player. Both are barebones concept games with zero creativity after the initial concept and failed execution throughout.
Leroux's avatar
C: The Contra Adventure (PlayStation)

C: The Contra Adventure review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

This easily could have been an instance of jubilation of multiple satisfactions... had Konami grown a brain.
pickhut's avatar
Mass Effect (PC)

Mass Effect review (PC)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

fleinn's avatar
Xenon 2: Megablast (Genesis)

Xenon 2: Megablast review (GEN)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

I respect Xenon 2 for the envelopes it pushed, but this doesn’t qualify it for a free pass; it doesn’t excuse its mistakes. Remember its innovations fondly, if you like, just don’t revisit them. There’s no reason to; no reward for your efforts. Just one final note from Bitmap Brothers saying “By the way? We know you cheated to get this far, and we hate you.”
EmP's avatar

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