Review Archives (All Reviews)

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Available Reviews
	Area 51 review (ARC) Reviewed on June 30, 2011 It feels like Atari and Midway both invested most of their developing power into the graphics. At the time they were state of the art. Seeing realistic faces in a videogame that wasn't an interactive movie was a game nerd's wet dream. Seeing it put into effect was neat at the time, and it easily distracted people from the fact that Area 51 offered little more than repetitive action. However, such graphics didn't age well. Splicing the real world with semi-rendered environments looks ...
	Transformers: Dark of the Moon review (PS3) Reviewed on June 28, 2011 For a game that’s designed to promote a movie, Dark of the Moon will probably encourage you to skip it entirely.
	Dodge 'Em review (A2600) Reviewed on June 28, 2011 The cover art was of a stylishly-dressed couple in an old-timey car swerving wildly in that final moment before their agonizing, fiery demise. If you didn't clench the controls intent on going balls to the wall the instant the game started, this would happen to you, but with far more primitive visuals.
	Dungeon Siege III review (PS3) Reviewed on June 27, 2011 (...)That the animation and fighting stances are easy to to look at, as well as entertaining to play with helps as well. It is fun, it is interesting - and I'm buggered about it because it's so easy to have the deep group-dynamics that took weeks of perfection to accomplish - in other, more cumbersomely designed role-playing games.
	Bloody Wolf review (TG16) Reviewed on June 27, 2011 Enemies don't hit the ground and flash when they die. They grasp the gory open wound, take a moment to examine the blood on their hand, then thrust the hand toward the sky as if cursing their creator for fating them to cross paths with you. It's one of the many ways Bloody Wolf strokes your ego. Playing as a muscle-bound commando badass on a motorcycle apparently isn't enough of an ego boost.
	Courier Crisis review (SAT) Reviewed on June 26, 2011 Bluberry, The Legendary Reviewer, responsible for penning masterpiece reviews for such games as Ninety-Nine Nights, once joked that some development team should make a game about bicycle couriers. Imagine the shock when I told him a game like that has been in existence for well over a decade.
	F.3.A.R. review (PC) Reviewed on June 26, 2011 This means combat becomes an often entertaining game of cat-and-mouse. It’s bad news if you stay behind the same piece of cover for too long, as FEAR 3’s goons are more intelligent than that. They’ll lob in a grenade, or send someone to draw you out from behind. All the while, their defensive strategy is much the same as your own: hide, shoot, move, repeat. When you’re down to the last couple of enemies in a larger area, gunfights can end up drawn out for minutes, as you battle frantically for supremacy over the game’s AI.
	Fist of the North Star: Ken's Rage review (PS3) Reviewed on June 26, 2011 Fist is essentially a Koei Dynasty Warriors game [...] in a Hokuto No Ken skin.
	Duke Nukem Forever review (X360) Reviewed on June 25, 2011 The game’s steadily ramping barrage of obnoxious design choices almost feels like an endurance test as you inch closer to finishing the game. “Oh yeah?” the developers seem to say. “Well, how would you like a platforming sequence with an electrified floor? What about a boss that spawns smaller enemies indefinitely? How about an underwater level with clumsy controls and distorted vision, in which you have to keep constant tabs on your oxygen supply? How about an underwater boss?"
	F.3.A.R. review (X360) Reviewed on June 25, 2011 It is said that F.E.A.R can drive men mad, causing them to think and act irrationally. Developed by Day 1 Studios, the newly released F.3.A.R sets out to resurrect the very sense of the title. Unfortunately, F.E.A.R. 3 misses as a horror game, lacking in the fundamental element of effective scare. Players expecting to lay awake at night with a light on and closet door closed will greatly be disappointed. The inability to scare the player significantly hurts the game play, since after all the te...
	L.A. Noire review (X360) Reviewed on June 25, 2011 It’s all about the contrast. The best way to describe the appeal of film-noir, as I find it, is in the stark dichotomy between black and white – the dissimilarity of things. The most striking aspect of the films is in the way the lighting might reflect the softness of the female lead in juxtaposition to the rigid features of her male counterpart, the way the lines of their faces are more defined than the films that came before. On the verge of being overproduced, L.A. Noire takes strides in brin...
	Desert Falcon review (Atari 7800) Reviewed on June 24, 2011 After playing this game for a few hours, I discovered that my favorite power-up was the one that warped me straight to the boss, so I could kill it and move to the next level in the hopes of finding the proper three glyphs to do it again. You get FAR more points for wasting them than for doing anything else and Desert Falcon is a rather repetitive game, where one level blends into the next with no real difference besides the density of enemy waves and the background color.
	Castlevania review (NES) Reviewed on June 23, 2011 Zombies? Killer bats? Out-of-place panthers? Screw that, it's the candles Simon hated, and yet he eventually grew to love. Only by destroying them could he find random weapons and the sliced-out human hearts needed to give him the strength to throw said weapons. You see, Simon also hates close combat. He likes his space, and doesn't like murderous and nightmarish creatures penetrating his bubble. He'd rather throw a knife than stab a zombie, or toss an axe in an arc than chop down a harpy.
	Dungeon Siege III review (X360) Reviewed on June 23, 2011 Despite some subquests and optional grinding, it’s mostly a long winding trip down an inevitable path, and often times back along the inevitable path. Expect to do a lot of walking. This is a hallmark of the Dungeon Siege series, so it should be no surprise that it hasn’t changed. But developer Obsidian has tried to infuse it with a choice-and-consequence system. In theory, this seems like a great idea. But in practice, it’s the difference between an attack rating of 142 and an attack rating of 145. Was it worth reading through all that dialogue?
	Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4 review (PS2) Reviewed on June 23, 2011 If someone were to ask me what I thought the most fulfilling game I’ve ever played was, I would tell them that without a doubt it is Persona 4. Persona 4 is far and away the most fleshed out and satisfying RPG I have ever played in just about every single way. Categorically speaking this game is flawless.
	Bump 'N Jump review (A2600) Reviewed on June 22, 2011 Maybe a particular body of water is too long to clear in just one jump, so you'll have to time things in order to hit an island in the middle of the lake and immediately jump again to clear the rest of it. Or maybe two small ponds will be close together. If you jump at full speed, you'll easily clear the first one...and then helplessly watch as you said over the strip of land between them, only to crash into the second inches from clearing it.
	BlazBlue: Continuum Shift II review (3DS) Reviewed on June 20, 2011 While it might not be as good as the originals, Continuum Shift II is still a fight worth having.
	Zombie Shooter review (PC) Reviewed on June 20, 2011 Believe me, you will be tested. Many of the zombies do major damage, especially a certain pink type that shoots lasers. You won't, however, find the challenge ridiculous or completely unfair. The destructive power of your weaponry and plentiful ammo keep you in the game long enough to enjoy the destruction.
	The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D review (3DS) Reviewed on June 19, 2011 When I started playing the actual game, though, my perspective changed almost immediately. Link’s prophetic nightmare, the shivering elven boy on the straw mattress, the dying monarch of the forest summoning a fairy and the awkward bump against the fence that looks too much like an open waffle iron all unfolded almost exactly the way I remembered them from previous trips through the game, but I realized with surprise that something unexpected was taking place: I was loving each moment again.
	Red Faction: Armageddon review (X360) Reviewed on June 19, 2011 Of course, even though the Red Faction seems better suited to handle this Armageddon, Darius, being the main character, is able to single-handedly take out legions of these beings, by himself, throughout the game. So you're basically going to do the same thing over and over and... See where I'm heading?

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