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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Hydlide (NES)

Hydlide review (NES)

Reviewed on February 05, 2011

Hydlide is madness contained within a plastic gray cart. To play it for too long and contemplate its dimensions and features is to go insane. It's an RPG of the worst sort, one that pads its gameplay out with grinding and guessing and gives you nothing else--no plot, no side quests, no other clues or NPC. You explore the tiny area to which are confined, bump into scores of enemies in order to kill them, listen to the same looping and overly high-pitched music, and perish many times in ...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
LittleBigPlanet 2 (PlayStation 3)

LittleBigPlanet 2 review (PS3)

Reviewed on February 02, 2011

Today’s play session lasted several hours, but I could have just as easily have devoted weeks to the same endeavor. There are literally thousands of options left for me to explore. I’m not sure that I would have believed just how much there is to the LittleBigPlanet 2 community if I hadn’t had the chance to experience it for myself. The people at Media Molecule and Sony have the right to be proud of what they have accomplished, and so do the creative gamers who have become a part of it.
honestgamer's avatar
Eternal Sonata (Xbox 360)

Eternal Sonata review (X360)

Reviewed on February 01, 2011

Eternal Sonata is a J-RPG in which you follow a group of anime-inspired characters through an adventure that seems like most every other. Among the main three characters are Polka, a terminally ill teenage girl who's going on a soul searching journey; Allegretto, a homeless guy who excels in swordsmanship and has the hots for Polka; and Fredrick, the incarnation of renowned pianist Fredrick Chopin who is convinced that the fantastical world that Polka and Allegretto live in is his dream a...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Crimecraft: Bleedout (PC)

Crimecraft: Bleedout review (PC)

Reviewed on January 30, 2011

It has the chance to stand out from the crowd, to not be just another also-ran, but it would be unfair to say it’s there right now. Should it continue down this path, its future looks promising.
EmP's avatar
Krazy Kreatures (NES)

Krazy Kreatures review (NES)

Reviewed on January 30, 2011

No lovable Russian ballet or upbeat tunes. All you get to start with is silence and an empty rectangle with a cursor inside. Before you can yawn, it rains cats and dogs. Literally, cats, dogs, and a few other animals begin piling up in the rectangle, and it's your duty to sort them out, making vertical, horizontal or diagonal trios of each animal to clear them off the screen and score. Later levels use “things”, which must be arranged in quartets; people in quintets; and monsters in sextets. Eac...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Sega Touring Car Championship (Saturn)

Sega Touring Car Championship review (SAT)

Reviewed on January 30, 2011

The Saturn has been home to many a racing title, mostly created by Sega's own departments. They all tend to vary in quality, but regardless, each of those titles are memorable for something. Daytona USA, the big one, is a flawed port, but still enjoyable thanks to fun play mechanics, good track design, cool bonuses, and a great, cheesy soundtrack. Sega Rally Championship is known as a solid port, despite suffering from being too much of a straight one. Manx TT has sheep. You get the point. So wh...
pickhut's avatar
Blood Drive (Xbox 360)

Blood Drive review (X360)

Reviewed on January 28, 2011

If you remove the hearts from Twisted Metal and Left 4 Dead and boil them down to their core ideas, what you have in Blood Drive is a near perfect fusion of the gameplay found in each. Twisted Metal has you steering cars occupied by sadists in a demolition derby and Left 4 Dead has you killing endless waves of zombies. Blood Drive has you participating in demolition derby events while running over loose zombies that have roamed onto the field...
asherdeus's avatar
Cthulhu Saves the World (Xbox 360)

Cthulhu Saves the World review (X360)

Reviewed on January 28, 2011

Thus begins the Old One’s quest for backwards redemption -- defeating some evil so he can unleash a greater evil. Sulking along the sandy beach he arrived at, he rescues his first party member, a star-struck water-based healer who incorrectly paints Cthulhu as her rescuing knight, and stomps off to his first village where he undertakes such heroic tasks as Saving A Boy’s Dog From A Cave.
EmP's avatar
Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time (PC)

Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time review (PC)

Reviewed on January 27, 2011

Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time wants to tantalize you with inventive gameplay and a fabulous 2D side scroller environment like a viewing into the past. However, one fatal flaw brings the whole construct crashing down. Building different devices to survive the hazards of the future is an intriguing idea, one crushed by shaky and inconsistent physics.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX (Xbox 360)

ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX review (X360)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

You could choose to mow them down with machine pistols or shotguns. With rocket launchers, plasma cannons or flare guns. With flamethrowers, assault rifles, proxy mines, grenade launchers or samurai swords. Railguns, icebeams, mini-nukes, souped-up pistols, golden guns or just a plain old kick to the head.
EmP's avatar
Xexyz (NES)

Xexyz review (NES)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

Humanity nearly wiped itself clean off the map, and the Mother Nature attempted to aid the process with a few hundred natural disasters. Peaceful fairies then came along and built a nation on the bones and smoldering ruins of humanity and called it Xexyz. To keep peace and order, they established five cute anime girls as princesses, and everyone lived happily ever after.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop (Lynx)

Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop review (LYNX)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

Like Kung Food, Dirty Larry compensates with enough health that you can get lucky and progress through much of the game. Both are examples of games that are fundamentally poor and have used above average size lifebars to try to hide the damning facts, that hits on opponents often don't register and situations they create incur unavoidable damage on the player. Both are barebones concept games with zero creativity after the initial concept and failed execution throughout.
Leroux's avatar
C: The Contra Adventure (PlayStation)

C: The Contra Adventure review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

This easily could have been an instance of jubilation of multiple satisfactions... had Konami grown a brain.
pickhut's avatar
Mass Effect (PC)

Mass Effect review (PC)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

fleinn's avatar
Xenon 2: Megablast (Genesis)

Xenon 2: Megablast review (GEN)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

I respect Xenon 2 for the envelopes it pushed, but this doesn’t qualify it for a free pass; it doesn’t excuse its mistakes. Remember its innovations fondly, if you like, just don’t revisit them. There’s no reason to; no reward for your efforts. Just one final note from Bitmap Brothers saying “By the way? We know you cheated to get this far, and we hate you.”
EmP's avatar
Kung Food (Lynx)

Kung Food review (LYNX)

Reviewed on January 21, 2011

Kung Food is recommended if your only system is the Atari Lynx.
Leroux's avatar
Cave Story (Wii)

Cave Story review (WII)

Reviewed on January 19, 2011

I knew after ages of searching through scores of dull family games, pointless platformer reboots, and obscure puzzle games that I would find a WiiWare game actually worth the price of admission. This game, ladies and gentlemen, is Cave Story. Never mind that this game is free on PC, the Wii version gives us a few new goodies, as well as updated graphics and sounds, the ability to use a controller instead of relying on a keyboard, and the same amazing gameplay that make it worth the $12 ...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (PlayStation 3)

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood review (PS3)

Reviewed on January 18, 2011

Even before its release, Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood was the victim of utter scrutinization. Many knew the premise, but most wondered if the ideas present weren’t more than fancy add-on content. Multi-player they said. You don’t need to make an entirely new game for that! Angry retort from the R.E. 5 fans I suppose. How so many could say such a thing about one of the most ingenious, incredible franchises is beyond me, especially after the sequel. It now seems that I...
True's avatar
Alien Syndrome (Arcade)

Alien Syndrome review (ARC)

Reviewed on January 16, 2011

When we think about Sega of the 80s, we remember such classics like Space Harrier, Shinobi, OutRun, Phantasy Star, and After Burner; games that helped turn the company into a... temporary powerhouse. However, Sega did release a ton more games during that era, a disturbing amount, at times, and because of that, nearly all of them have been forgotten by the general gaming public. It's only when these games appear in a compilation, or when specific characters make cameos, that people go, "Hey! I re...
pickhut's avatar
Fallout: New Vegas (Xbox 360)

Fallout: New Vegas review (X360)

Reviewed on January 16, 2011

It’s well past midnight and I cannot sleep. My conscience weighs heavily on me for what I have done. I have tried to prevent bloodshed, but in the end I have killed so many. I have tried to stand up to injustice, but in the end I have buckled under the weight of the corrupt and powerful. I have let down friends so I could avoid making enemies.
jerec's avatar

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