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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by all eligible authors and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Blood Drive (Xbox 360)

Blood Drive review (X360)

Reviewed on January 28, 2011

If you remove the hearts from Twisted Metal and Left 4 Dead and boil them down to their core ideas, what you have in Blood Drive is a near perfect fusion of the gameplay found in each. Twisted Metal has you steering cars occupied by sadists in a demolition derby and Left 4 Dead has you killing endless waves of zombies. Blood Drive has you participating in demolition derby events while running over loose zombies that have roamed onto the field...
asherdeus's avatar
Cthulhu Saves the World (Xbox 360)

Cthulhu Saves the World review (X360)

Reviewed on January 28, 2011

Thus begins the Old One’s quest for backwards redemption -- defeating some evil so he can unleash a greater evil. Sulking along the sandy beach he arrived at, he rescues his first party member, a star-struck water-based healer who incorrectly paints Cthulhu as her rescuing knight, and stomps off to his first village where he undertakes such heroic tasks as Saving A Boy’s Dog From A Cave.
EmP's avatar
Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time (PC)

Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time review (PC)

Reviewed on January 27, 2011

Doc Clock: The Toasted Sandwich of Time wants to tantalize you with inventive gameplay and a fabulous 2D side scroller environment like a viewing into the past. However, one fatal flaw brings the whole construct crashing down. Building different devices to survive the hazards of the future is an intriguing idea, one crushed by shaky and inconsistent physics.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX (Xbox 360)

ZP2KX: Zombies and Pterodactyls 20XX review (X360)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

You could choose to mow them down with machine pistols or shotguns. With rocket launchers, plasma cannons or flare guns. With flamethrowers, assault rifles, proxy mines, grenade launchers or samurai swords. Railguns, icebeams, mini-nukes, souped-up pistols, golden guns or just a plain old kick to the head.
EmP's avatar
Xexyz (NES)

Xexyz review (NES)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

Humanity nearly wiped itself clean off the map, and the Mother Nature attempted to aid the process with a few hundred natural disasters. Peaceful fairies then came along and built a nation on the bones and smoldering ruins of humanity and called it Xexyz. To keep peace and order, they established five cute anime girls as princesses, and everyone lived happily ever after.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop (Lynx)

Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop review (LYNX)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

Like Kung Food, Dirty Larry compensates with enough health that you can get lucky and progress through much of the game. Both are examples of games that are fundamentally poor and have used above average size lifebars to try to hide the damning facts, that hits on opponents often don't register and situations they create incur unavoidable damage on the player. Both are barebones concept games with zero creativity after the initial concept and failed execution throughout.
Leroux's avatar
C: The Contra Adventure (PlayStation)

C: The Contra Adventure review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

This easily could have been an instance of jubilation of multiple satisfactions... had Konami grown a brain.
pickhut's avatar
Mass Effect (PC)

Mass Effect review (PC)

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

fleinn's avatar
Xenon 2: Megablast (Genesis)

Xenon 2: Megablast review (GEN)

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

I respect Xenon 2 for the envelopes it pushed, but this doesn’t qualify it for a free pass; it doesn’t excuse its mistakes. Remember its innovations fondly, if you like, just don’t revisit them. There’s no reason to; no reward for your efforts. Just one final note from Bitmap Brothers saying “By the way? We know you cheated to get this far, and we hate you.”
EmP's avatar
Kung Food (Lynx)

Kung Food review (LYNX)

Reviewed on January 22, 2011

Kung Food is recommended if your only system is the Atari Lynx.
Leroux's avatar
Cave Story (Wii)

Cave Story review (WII)

Reviewed on January 20, 2011

I knew after ages of searching through scores of dull family games, pointless platformer reboots, and obscure puzzle games that I would find a WiiWare game actually worth the price of admission. This game, ladies and gentlemen, is Cave Story. Never mind that this game is free on PC, the Wii version gives us a few new goodies, as well as updated graphics and sounds, the ability to use a controller instead of relying on a keyboard, and the same amazing gameplay that make it worth the $12 ...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (PlayStation 3)

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood review (PS3)

Reviewed on January 18, 2011

Even before its release, Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood was the victim of utter scrutinization. Many knew the premise, but most wondered if the ideas present weren’t more than fancy add-on content. Multi-player they said. You don’t need to make an entirely new game for that! Angry retort from the R.E. 5 fans I suppose. How so many could say such a thing about one of the most ingenious, incredible franchises is beyond me, especially after the sequel. It now seems that I...
True's avatar
Alien Syndrome (Arcade)

Alien Syndrome review (ARC)

Reviewed on January 16, 2011

When we think about Sega of the 80s, we remember such classics like Space Harrier, Shinobi, OutRun, Phantasy Star, and After Burner; games that helped turn the company into a... temporary powerhouse. However, Sega did release a ton more games during that era, a disturbing amount, at times, and because of that, nearly all of them have been forgotten by the general gaming public. It's only when these games appear in a compilation, or when specific characters make cameos, that people go, "Hey! I re...
pickhut's avatar
Fallout: New Vegas (Xbox 360)

Fallout: New Vegas review (X360)

Reviewed on January 16, 2011

It’s well past midnight and I cannot sleep. My conscience weighs heavily on me for what I have done. I have tried to prevent bloodshed, but in the end I have killed so many. I have tried to stand up to injustice, but in the end I have buckled under the weight of the corrupt and powerful. I have let down friends so I could avoid making enemies.
jerec's avatar
WWF: Betrayal (Game Boy Color)

WWF: Betrayal review (GBC)

Reviewed on January 16, 2011

Hunter trots backstage and discovers that his wife Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley has been taken by The Rock and co. Vince McMahon catches up with him, tells him that if he can rescue Stephanie, then he can have a title shot. Take all of those illogical plots from NES games and combine them with professional wrestling and this is what you get. It's almost ridiculous enough to be an actual WWE storyline, one written by a total mark.
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Medal of Honor (PlayStation 3)

Medal of Honor review (PS3)

Reviewed on January 14, 2011

Medal of Honor can barely claim to being more than half a game, the half it does right, it excels. The other half isn’t bad for a first attempt -- but that’s not really good enough, is it?
EmP's avatar
The Magic of Scheherazade (NES)

The Magic of Scheherazade review (NES)

Reviewed on January 14, 2011

Leap off that steed and cast away that shining armor. It's time to take the hot sands, to don a turban and wield a scimitar with deadly grace. Leave behind those fantasies that have been final for fourteen games or those quests of the dragon kind, and delve into The Magic of Scheherazade. It's a wonderful RPG that maintains the sword and sorcery feel, yet changes the setting all together. It's not set in a world like medieval times, but more akin to Arabian Nights. With much t...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
101-in-1 Sports Party Megamix (Wii)

101-in-1 Sports Party Megamix review (WII)

Reviewed on January 11, 2011

I’m simply going to present the facts. Nothing here works. Even with its budget title status, it’s not worth the price of admission.
EmP's avatar
Jim Henson's Muppet Adventure No. 1: Chaos at the Carnival (Commodore 64)

Jim Henson's Muppet Adventure No. 1: Chaos at the Carnival review (C64)

Reviewed on January 10, 2011

If you're a seeker of esoterica or a man with a penchant for playing poorly made license titles, then Jim Henson's Muppet Adventure: Chaos at the Carnival is just the ticket. It's the crème de la crème of awful. Most wouldn't expect much of a Muppet game, maybe mediocrity at best, but I'm sure few would expect to be at the very bottom of the gaming totem pole. It's a license title with hardly any elements that attach it to its source material, loaded with just about every gaming flaw y...
JoeTheDestroyer's avatar
Domino Rally (Wii)

Domino Rally review (WII)

Reviewed on January 09, 2011

You know those Japanese games with stupid-sounding gimmicks that rarely get released outside their native country, in fear of not selling well? Domino Rally is one such game that made it outside. Judging by the name, you're thinking this is just some domino... rally game. And you'd be sorta right. Domino Rally is about a man, or thing... this superhero, let's say, called Minon. He, or it, wears a yellow track suit, a face mask, and electronic visor with the words "Go! Go!" on it, l...
pickhut's avatar

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