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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by Masters and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Mobile Light Force 2 (PlayStation 2)

Mobile Light Force 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 05, 2005

Having played the game, I know now that I could have done very well without experiencing MLF2, thank you very much. Aside from its corny cover, and the fact that the Mobile Light Force acronym can be sounded out as “milf”; there’s very little special about this game. It’s a port of the arguably unspecial Shikigami, from Alpha System. (Not to be confused with the first MLF–on the PlayStation–which is a port of Gunbird, from Psikyo. Don’t ask me…)
Stolen (PlayStation 2)

Stolen review (PS2)

Reviewed on June 04, 2005

Stolen is a stealth title featuring a sexy female thief, and in a world dominated by ultra-cool and macho Solid Snake types, the black leather clad Anya Romanov (think Underworld) is a welcome as well as delicious sight.
Sonic Mega Collection Plus (PlayStation 2)

Sonic Mega Collection Plus review (PS2)

Reviewed on May 04, 2005

The hit games are as wonderful as I remember them being, featuring the speedy blue rodent ripping through Green Hill, Labyrinth, Oil Ocean, and Angel Island Zones, to name a few.
Darwin 4081 (Genesis)

Darwin 4081 review (GEN)

Reviewed on April 29, 2005

Basic Darwin involves shooting down ugly hordes of oddly coloured butterfly things, worms, and scores of other foes that resemble random broken bits of plastic left at the bottom of a child's toy box. You simply won't know what to make of this stuff.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (PlayStation 2)

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time review (PS2)

Reviewed on April 29, 2005

You must see to it that in the epic battle of man versus his surroundings, man conquers, and conquers frequently. You'll regularly accomplish this much, only to be beset by the undead and re-animated warriors set against you.
Shinobi (PlayStation 2)

Shinobi review (PS2)

Reviewed on April 19, 2005

What of the game design we thrilled to in Shinobi III, the game most widely considered to epitomize Shinobi? What of double jumps and rainbow shuriken showers? Oh, they're still here. They just don't matter.
Contra (NES)

Contra review (NES)

Reviewed on March 19, 2005

Contra’s weapons don’t blow their loads in retarded, premature fashion as is the case with other games in the genre. These weapons kill hard and die harder. The Laser rips through anything in its path, the Machine gun eats up alien troops like Fruit Loops, to say nothing of the Spread. The Spread? you query, clearly curious. The spread cuts swaths through hopeless, hapless oncomers.
Alien Hominid (PlayStation 2)

Alien Hominid review (PS2)

Reviewed on March 11, 2005

Yes, this little terror can decapitate America's finest intelligence officers and then pick his teeth. If he's feeling kinder, he can toss a mounted agent instead of getting brains on his wrinkly lips, but then, what's the fun in that?
The Incredibles (Game Boy Advance)

The Incredibles review (GBA)

Reviewed on March 11, 2005

The Incredibles is easy like Sunday morning. I breezed through the thing in a few subway rides to and from work, losing only a life or two in the process, playing at a time when I am at my most bleary eyed and cack-handed.
The Incredibles (PlayStation 2)

The Incredibles review (PS2)

Reviewed on March 11, 2005

The story of Bob Parr and his gifted family of superheroes (wife Mrs. Incredible, children Violet and Dash) is told inexcusably poorly. When you finish the adventure, you still won’t know what the movie is about.
Maximo: Ghosts to Glory (PlayStation 2)

Maximo: Ghosts to Glory review (PS2)

Reviewed on March 08, 2005

I’ve played a handful of good 3D updates lately—Castlevania’s Lament of Innocence was one such solid title—but Maximo outdoes that game and just about any I can think of, at least on one crucial level. Other good 3D follow ups do justice to their predecessors, but Maximo is arguably better than the two 16-bitters to come before it. That’s right, better.
Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PlayStation 2)

Castlevania: Lament of Innocence review (PS2)

Reviewed on January 26, 2005

There are hidden bosses galore, including The Forgotten One, a boss that has to be seen to be believed. The abominable creature has been locked far, far beneath the castle, hidden down and around swirling castle steps streaked fearfully with the scent of doom--the ultimate embodiment of that which should not be.
Silent Hill 4: The Room (PlayStation 2)

Silent Hill 4: The Room review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 08, 2004

If you've always wanted to know what the fuss was about concerning this sleepy resort town of Silent Hill, with its decaying, blood-stained populace of hurtful wraiths and broken people--it's not this.
Forgotten Realms: Demon Stone (PlayStation 2)

Forgotten Realms: Demon Stone review (PS2)

Reviewed on November 27, 2004

Demon Stone had two strikes against it right from the start. It feels like Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (blah), and one of the three main playable characters looks like Scott Stapp, formerly of Creed (double blah). Luckily, it manages to outdo the game depiction of that Tolkien classic, though regrettably, there is nothing to be done about the rocker's distasteful likeness.
King of Fighters: Maximum Impact (PlayStation 2)

King of Fighters: Maximum Impact review (PS2)

Reviewed on November 17, 2004

You couldn't introduce new blood without making at least one of them a busty babe, and so Lien enters the fray, serving up the expected combination of violence and sex we seem to crave from our gaming women. During the intro sequence, she chokes out some nameless dude, and then finds it necessary to zip down her jumpsuit front enough to expose exceptional cleavage which you might liken to two 14-pound bowling balls bursting out of a single ball bag.
Shrek 2 (PlayStation 2)

Shrek 2 review (PS2)

Reviewed on November 09, 2004

A lot of people loved Shrek 2. I wasn't one of those people. I thought it was funny, just the way slapstick scenarios and fart gags are funny at the time, but hardly qualify as enduring humour. And so the Shrek name would not arrest me--a non-fanatic--at the game store and whisper into my ear that I must have it. If it did, it would mean I should see someone about hearing voices. If you think it might speak that way to you, you illustrate the only circumstance in which Shrek 2 comes highly recommended. (And you should also see someone about hearing voices.)
R-Type Final (PlayStation 2)

R-Type Final review (PS2)

Reviewed on October 27, 2004

How do you uphold a legacy and follow one of the best games ever made? Final is inferior to Delta, there's no doubt of that. The actual gameplay isn't on the same level: Delta boasted seven ideally crafted stages with beautiful music and detailed background designs. Given the PS2's greater capacity, Final is almost a step backward, only managing an inspiring CGI intro, a handful of standout stages and possibly a single great tune. Final seems to concede level design to its older sibling, concentrating on something else entirely to be its unique selling point.
Atomic Robo-Kid (Genesis)

Atomic Robo-Kid review (GEN)

Reviewed on October 09, 2004

Where to begin? ABK's faults read like a grocery list--of spoiled items. Your character, an annoyingly cute R2-D2 wannabe, is too large and clunky and slow. What this amounts to is having to drag your excruciatingly lethargic metallic carcass around until you manage to earn a speed up icon. Without one, you won't stand a chance. To that point, allow me to fast forward to the site of the game's supreme manifestation of this greatest flaw, a sticking point that is almost laughable in its hideousness.
Cubes Invasion (PC)

Cubes Invasion review (PC)

Reviewed on October 06, 2004

Besides the regular mode of play, there is also a treasure hunt version included in the Cubes Invasion package, which asks that you abandon normal square-clearing mentality in favour of 'freeing' only the pieces with a bag of treasure on them. When you're just starting out, you'll only need to connect one or two bags to proceed to the next stage. But by the time you reach say, stage 20, tons of bags will be crying out to be released from their coloured jails and the stage will likely start you out with the blocks already encroaching dangerously near the top of the well. The evil!
Spider-Man 2 (Game Boy Advance)

Spider-Man 2 review (GBA)

Reviewed on September 02, 2004

The disappointing adventure is based loosely on the happenings from the hit movie. I say loosely, because the creators of the game saw fit to throw in a host of enemies and situations that have nothing to do with the film in a misguided attempt to give us 'more' than a simple movie play through. I can see the merit in providing us more than just Doctor Octopus as the lone boss character from the feature, and yet--it seems ultimately messy and unfocused to offer up The Lizard and Rhino (among others) as combatants for no good reason in the context of the story.

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