Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by Masters and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
	Castlevania review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 Could Konami have known? Did they have even the slightest inkling that their clichéd tale of a stout, brave-hearted adventurer up against a haunted house and all its various and typical denizens would spawn over a dozen incarnations? Surely not. Yet, something like fifteen years after the first adventure featuring Simon’s side-scrolling simplicity, we are playing Castlevania in pseudo-3D, jaded as we watch impossibly real polygonal presentations of Simon’s pretenders to his legacy doing their thing, while big budget orchestrations sing along sweetly.	4/5
	Cabal review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 So you wanna be a guerilla (what, playing as Donkey Kong isn’t enough?). As mentioned, you can take a buddy along, so that the cabal now has two members (and it's a good thing, because I'm not sure that one constitutes a cabal). The two of you are quite deadly and nothing will intimidate you.	4/5
	Astyanax review (NES) Reviewed on December 31, 2003 Thankfully, the story told here can be skipped by pressing the start button. However, should you care to know, Astyanax is a young blonde high school freshman, selected for a world-shattering mission by fate (what else?) and accosted by a fairy from another world named Cutie (what else?). She drags you into her world to rescue a fair princess (Princess Rosebud of Remlia) - against your will. Despite her constant apologies and her help with magic during the proceedings, you can’t help but hate her for getting you into this mess. You were going to lose your virginity that night, and then this!	4/5
	Bonk's Adventure review (TG16) Reviewed on December 29, 2003 Hudson made a departure from their axe and boomerang throwing Higgins play mechanics, and decided that Bonk would be equipped with all his necessary weaponry right on his person. When you first play the game, and watch your onscreen character in all his cuteness bashing equally cutesy enemies with his noggin, you won’t be able to hide your smile. Much of Bonk’s appeal lies in his ability to be endearing but not nauseatingly so.	4.5/5
	Super Star Soldier review (TG16) Reviewed on December 29, 2003 The challenge in SSS is very high, and very fair. The boss patterns are clever and taxing, and as I intimated earlier, the smaller scale of everything in motion on the screen simply allows for more of everything on the screen. More bullets, more enemies, trickier dodging patterns. And just as important: more bullet slipping on your part: your smaller ship allows you to pull off all manner of godlike projectile-evading mastery.	4.5/5
	Ninja Spirit review (TG16) Reviewed on December 29, 2003 The main character’s name is Moonlight (not the most fearsome moniker, true enough, but full of, er, grace). His father has been killed and Moonlight seeks revenge. The opening scene is nothing special - it certainly isn’t as eye-catching as the one in Revenge of Shinobi, and the fact that it’s unapologetically cliché does not help. The saving grace is witnessing Moonlight’s transmogrifying into a wolf. I know we all have to do it sometime, but it’s so satisfying watching a ninja do it.	3.5/5
	Night Creatures review (TG16) Reviewed on December 29, 2003 The premise of the game is surprisingly compelling. You are a farmer, stricken with a curse. You were bitten by a bat that turned out to be Hecate, the Queen of Darkness. You must hunt down and destroy this nefarious night creature that afflicted you thus, or die trying. Or worse yet, stay alive, but take too long in your mission, and become a night creature yourself. Oooh! Biting irony!	2.5/5
	New Adventure Island review (TG16) Reviewed on December 29, 2003 As you fight through the Hudson-trademark, vibrant, ultra-colourful scenarios, you’ll encounter fuchsia snails, yellow cobras, purple frogs, and green clovers. Alright, the clovers bit was just to see if you were paying attention. Deadly, unattended campfires, skulls surrounded by flames, and the mainstay of the Adventure Island enemy roster - the invisible web-climbing spiders, will all chime in to make life difficult for you.	3.5/5
	Wardner review (GEN) Reviewed on December 22, 2003 Wardner strikes a blow for overweight kids everywhere. Because the hero of Wardner is… well, fat. And he’s not one of those fat kids looking (illogically) for a supermodel either; his girl is also pretty portly. There’s nothing more annoying than someone of the George Costanza mindset: ''I can’t date her because she’s bald.'' But, you're bald! (Don’t worry, I won’t digress any further into the universal applications of my Seinfeldian knowledge.)	3/5
	Valis: The Fantasm Soldier review (GEN) Reviewed on December 22, 2003 I didn't even really want to review Valis. Another reviewer (we'll call him ''Zigfried,'' a close personal friend of mine), showed me his 3/10 opinion on the game, but he pointed out that for the sake of justice, we have to offset the ridiculously high scores for the game seen around the net with our low scores, so here is my review. You could probably call this review: OUT FOR JUSTICE if it was a film, but it's not, so let's forget I mentioned it.	2/5
	Twin Cobra review (GEN) Reviewed on December 22, 2003 Twin Cobra is Raiden with boxes. It's also an overhead helicopter shoot-em-up. A shoot-em-up that is mediocre at its absolute best, for a system that was inundated with shooters, some of them phenomenal. Without proceeding any further, it's safe to say that if you're not a fan of the genre, you shouldn't give this game even a moment's notice.	1.5/5
	Truxton review (GEN) Reviewed on December 22, 2003 The vertical shooter, Truxton, at the time of its release looked alright. Not spectacular, even then, but alright. With time, the game has not aged gracefully.	1.5/5
	Toki: Going Ape Spit review (GEN) Reviewed on December 22, 2003 A cloaked bad guy named Stark made off with your number one booty call, making a monkey out of you, and to add insult to injury, he made a monkey out of you. Naturally, catching up with the withered old fool and killing him and his monster menagerie will make you human again, and return Miho to your large, swollen... arms.	3.5/5
	Thunder Fox review (GEN) Reviewed on December 22, 2003 Thunder Fox for the Genesis, like the arcade version, features five intense levels of straightforward anti-terrorist ass-kicking. You'll have to tackle terrorists on their carrier, in their mining facility and their headquarters, among other locales. The knife you brought to the party just won’t cut it. But not to worry: as you stab, jump kick and 'somersault kick' foes into submission, they will give up the goods that they’re carrying. Flame throwers, assault rifles and single shot bazookas are all up for grabs in the wake of incapacitated insurgents.	2.5/5
	Thunder Force II review (GEN) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 This early Genesis release is not graphically or sonically stunning, as can be expected (old games still impress in these categories, but we needn't expect them to), but the lackluster presentation is not wholly or even largely the reason why the game fails to impress.	2/5
	Journey from Darkness: Strider Returns review (GEN) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 Sega's Strider was every bit as engaging as Capcom had made it in the arcades. Truly, it was a memorable experience with only two weaknesses worth mentioning: the length of the adventure, and the limitations of the hero's jumping abilities. Strider 2 does nothing to correct the former but admirably corrects the latter. Not bad then, right? Well, it wouldn’t be, but remember the aforementioned strengths of the original game? You know, the beautiful scenes and sounds? Well forget about them. They’re gone.	2/5
	Strider review (GEN) Reviewed on December 21, 2003 Much of the game’s hype was due to the fact that it was the first 8 meg cartridge ever. Certainly it was not just a case of Sega and Capcom pounding their chests with no real reasoning behind the extra space; upon comparison with other platform games of its time, the 8 meg 'monster' that was Strider clearly drew upon the added power do something unprecedented. It didn't compromise. It represented an arcade translation where the programmers didn't have to say ''Ok, what do we take out first?''	4/5
	Splatterhouse 2 review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 In the first game, Rick's girlfriend Jennifer was spirited away from his underdeveloped arms right before his pimply face, creamy with bursting whiteheads. The Hell Mask appeared to provide delicious two-fold resolution. He donned the evil, false visage and it took hold of him, charging teenage bone, sinew and muscle, until a fearless full grown murderer of the undead was forged (plus, it hid his acne).	2/5
	Sonic the Hedgehog review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 The fast and the furious Green Hill Zone. Barreling over bright green hills, digging your heels in as you race through lush valleys of green, leaping for coins and coming back down to green earth - this is what the entire game should have been about. Sad that the heights of enjoyment should be reached in Sonic’s first mission, sad that gamers should be teased so cruelly, as the roaring velocity of his run, (increased even more with the special speedy shoe icon, and even more while Sonic spins) comes to an abrupt halt with the conclusion of the zone, never to reach such intensity again.	3.5/5
	Sol-Deace review (GEN) Reviewed on December 20, 2003 So now you have three streams of fire, one from the core, and one from each arm of the ship. You can get the arms to fire at different angles by moving the core forward and back. This is quite cool! Take note, nonbelievers! Sometimes, I have the core firing forward, the top arm firing 30 degrees up and forward, and the bottom arm firing 45 degrees down and forward! This allows for GOOD SCREEN COVERAGE.	3/5

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