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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by Masters and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Superman (Arcade)

Superman review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

Taito used to rule the corner stores with an iron fist. And as such, all we kids who cut class to go to the corner stores to play video games thought Taito was the shit. Superman was a big name cog in the mighty Taito wheel that included other beat-em-up notables like Thunder Fox and Crime City. I think the latter two were my absolute favourites, and whatís nice is that in revisiting them, I found that I still enjoyed myself quite a bit beyond the tingly feeling in your stomach that nostalgia brings. Unfortunately, Superman doesnít do any tingly things anymore. It just makes me yawn.
Street Fighter (Arcade)

Street Fighter review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

That guy in the first player slot with red hair, jerking about as if frames of animation are missing, is Ryu. You might recognize him; his hair has gotten darker with age and he has since doffed the ruby red slippers he wears in this incarnation. The blonde guy occupying the spot opposite his Japanese counterpart is the barefooted Ken. He seems to have gotten prettier with age, which is a good thing, because heís ugly as sin in this game. (Perhaps the Masters Corporation was on the cusp of multibillion dollar success, allowing young Ken to later go under the knife.) These are the only two characters you can select from.
Snow Bros. (Arcade)

Snow Bros. review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

Nick and Tom are snowmen. They wear little hats on the backs of their heads, and are dressed down, trailer park style in overalls, with no shirts. The two always smiling wonders have a daunting task on their plates - no less than 50 levels of one-screen-at-a-time action demands conquering, and the monsters patrolling each one-level screen or 'floor', have only one mission in life, and that's snowman homicide.
R-Type Leo (Arcade)

R-Type Leo review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

When you play the first few levels, your hardened fanís heart will melt with the realization that this is the sort of simple genius that makes for excellent shooting, and is deserving of its own sequel, or series. Under another moniker, Leo may have flourished, but it found itself in limbo during the shooter supply and demand pipeline between IREM and their fans. An excellent game they got - the game they wanted, they did not.
Rezon (Arcade)

Rezon review (ARC)

Reviewed on December 15, 2003

The people at Alhummer were some evil, sadistic sons of bitches. I canít stress this enough. They werenít so creative, but they were cold and calculating. Consider this: they took Iremís arcade, horizontal shooter hit, R-Type, and absolutely, positively ripped it off. But that was only the beginning. I mean, weíve seen R-Type clones before. But Rezon takes the cloning process to a whole other level.
Magician Lord (NeoGeo)

Magician Lord review (NEO)

Reviewed on December 14, 2003

Begin as blue-clad Elta in the Dale of Evil Gods, and descend the very rungs of the ladder of hell to recover the Eight Books of Wisdom from the God of Destruction, Az Atorse. Magician Lord is dead serious, and if you don't believe me, simply witness the names of places and enemies. Travel the Corridor Leading to Hell and wreak havoc on the parapets of the Castle of Devils, taking on guardians like Beautiful Assassin, and bosses like Hell's Creation (the guardians guard the bosses lairs) on the fiery eight-stage path to the final showdown.
Pulstar (NeoGeo)

Pulstar review (NEO)

Reviewed on December 14, 2003

The legend goes this way: a handful of surly IREM expatriates fled the unimaginative rut they were in to explore greener pastures. They were unhappy with the way R-Type II turned out - it was simply more of the same. They wanted to up the ante, and create their vision of a true follow up to the perennial quarter-muncher. A sort of Super R-Type, to borrow a name. That game is Pulstar.
Last Resort (NeoGeo)

Last Resort review (NEO)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

If youíve played R-Type - the perennial arcade side-scrolling space shooter - and you didnít like it, you will hate Last Resort Itís that simple. You will hate it for its extreme difficulty, you will hate it for its unforgivable 'back you go to the last checkpoint 10 minutes ago' attitude.
Donkey Kong Junior (Colecovision)

Donkey Kong Junior review (CVN)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

While the perennial favourite, Donkey Kong, had a little red-capped, thick-mustached plumber leaping barrels sent careening his way by the big guy himself, Donkey Kong Jr changes things up completely. Now Mario is exacting some measure of revenge, somehow managing to capture the big ape and chain him up (any self-respecting PETA member's alarm bells would go off if they saw young Jimmy having a go at this).
Super Street Fighter II Turbo (3DO)

Super Street Fighter II Turbo review (3DO)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

Panasonic should thank their lucky stars (well, not so lucky) that Capcom allowed their favourite sons, Ken and Ryu to play on the 3DO's abandoned, decrepit property. Super Street Fighter II Turbo (SSFIIT) remains one of the few bright spots in the dark annals of the now defunct system's lifespan. Unless you absolutely abhor one on one fighting contests, this game is a must have for the 3DO owner.
Out of This World (3DO)

Out of This World review (3DO)

Reviewed on December 13, 2003

Imagine being in another world, totally different than this Earth - blue and purple-shadowed, otherworldly and brimming with sudden violence. Anthropoid beasts brood in black uniforms, walking the sunless earth, their faces telling of the grey atmosphere with matted, chalky complexions. Black as death are the animals they keep, resembling bulls, charging about when not kept in check. Lasers crisscross your panorama from the weapons of their two-legged masters, while their proud stone edifices and buildings push up from the ground like crooked fingers.
Side Arms (TurboGrafx-16)

Side Arms review (TG16)

Reviewed on December 11, 2003

Rather than the collection of illegal weapons you thought you would find piled on the counter when you asked for it, Side Arms is a side-scrolling shooting game from Capcom. Radiance Software ported the game over to the Turbografx-16 in a historical move; it was the Turboís first third party release.
TV Sports Hockey (TurboGrafx-16)

TV Sports Hockey review (TG16)

Reviewed on December 11, 2003

As the Turbografx-16 goes, surely Cinemaware has reached rock bottom with this, the third and final TV Sports release (I don't believe TV Sports Baseball was ever released). This is possibly the worst sports game I have ever played, and certainly the worst hockey game.
Victory Run (TurboGrafx-16)

Victory Run review (TG16)

Reviewed on December 11, 2003

This game, one of the few racers released for the Turbografx-16, chronicles the Paris to Dakar rally. The strains on mind, body and vehicle alike are enormous, and Victory Run is relentless. The game makes you feel the vehicle's emotions as it were. When you're going good, the immense metallic frame glides along aided by smooth suspension and both you and your vehicle are smiling. When you're not, the piece of junk struggles along, suspension twisted, tires bald, gears grinding.
Unreal Tournament: Game of the Year Edition (PC)

Unreal Tournament: Game of the Year Edition review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Do you have any friends? Well, do you? If the answer to this dubious and revealing question is 'yes', then you simply cannot do without playing Unreal Tournament. But I am not good at First Person Shooter games! You whine, clearly unimpressed (and most likely hiding your negative response to the first question!). To this I say, it doesn't matter! like The Rock before he hung up his spandex briefs.
Wolfenstein 3D (PC)

Wolfenstein 3D review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

The German voices are probably the biggest aural highlight (achtung baby!), and the dogs certainly represent the most impressive show of the games graphics. Human enemies are large and menacing, but they have a squashed look to them that makes us take the whole thing less seriously than we should. It's as if the cast of River City Ransom was dropped into a pseudo 3D environment and given guns and awkward accents.
Raptor (PC)

Raptor review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Raptor uses a vitality bar, so beginners wonít be intimidated as they would be by an R-Type-ish one hit wonder. That vitality bar can be extended if youíve got enough money. Money canít buy you love, but life - now thereís a perfectly reasonable investment.
God of Thunder (PC)

God of Thunder review (PC)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

GoT (youíve gotta admit, itís one of the best acronyms in the world of gaming, ever: got GoT?) gives us a top-down perspective on the goings-on in the world of its hero, much like The Legend of Zelda. But donít confuse the challenges of Asgaard with the strictly actionĖRPG swashbuckling of Hyrule; there is a lot more brainwork for Thor to do than bomb cave walls and pull tongues to open doors.
Philosoma (PlayStation)

Philosoma review (PSX)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Oh my. This could have been a legendary game. Really. Unfortunately, it falls a bit short. Philosoma is a shooter that should really appeal to all the different niches of shooter fans. It attempts side-scrolling, vertical, behind-the-ship, in-front-of-the ship and isometric overhead/horizontal stages, with varying results.
Splatterhouse (TurboGrafx-16)

Splatterhouse review (TG16)

Reviewed on December 10, 2003

Ah, the classic moments we owe to Splatterhouse! Guide Rick past chained zombies affixed to the walls, slipping the gastric juices they spit up in your path! Jaunting ghouls offer themselves up as target practice for your two-by-four - splatter their guts onto the walls! And that's only the first level, people. It gets better!

Additional Results (20 per page)

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