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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by JoeTheDestroyer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Rhythm Heaven Fever (Wii)

Rhythm Heaven Fever review (WII)

Reviewed on February 20, 2012

Rhythm Heaven Fever asks that you "relax and have fun." Heck, it even tells you that outright in the opening cutscene. It doesn't want you to become too absorbed or obsessed with beating a high score or freaking out when you make a mistake. Just kick back and enjoy the ride!
Godzilla 2: War of the Monsters (NES)

Godzilla 2: War of the Monsters review (NES)

Reviewed on February 15, 2012

Welcome to Godzilla 2, where every mission is a tedious uphill struggle against a collection of nearly undefeatable colossi. Not unless you want a jaw-jacking challenge with little reward will you find this game entertaining. The first mission will be enough to convince most to stop playing all together and forget that Toho ever developed their own Godzilla game.
Tales of Phantasia (Game Boy Advance)

Tales of Phantasia review (GBA)

Reviewed on February 10, 2012

While the 'Kangaroo' incident is insulting to fans who craved a legit localization, it's not nearly as infuriating as wading through 20+ hours worth of dull, clunky battles with annoying voice acting. Namco should know better than to flip off their fans with weak ports and lousy translations.
White Knight Chronicles (PlayStation 3)

White Knight Chronicles review (PS3)

Reviewed on February 08, 2012

White Knight Chronicles would have been better had Level 5 focused on creating an entertaining single player game with an engrossing story, and then marketed the online components as a separate title. The developers spread their attention on each aspect too thin, and crafted a mediocre addition to the J-RPG library with a ho-hum story.
Eternal Eyes (PlayStation)

Eternal Eyes review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 28, 2012

One could make the argument that the game accomplished what it set out to do in providing a generic, affordable title. Eternal Eyes's issue isn't that it didn't succeed at what it attempted to do, but that it set its standards way too low. No one aspires to be an average singer, a mediocre actor, or a ho-hum painter with the cost of little training or devotion. Even at a discounted price, no one wants mediocrity.
Astyanax (NES)

Astyanax review (NES)

Reviewed on January 22, 2012

[Astyanax] may not stand above such brethren as Ninja Gaiden or Castlevania, but it sure beats out other rough awesome-wanna-bes like Castle of Dragon and Frankenstein: The Monster Returns. Astyanax doesn't suck up or beg for your love and respect; it commands it with a stiff punch that will break your jaw in six different places.... and you'll like it.
Tobal No. 1 (PlayStation)

Tobal No. 1 review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 21, 2012

I know people have made this sort of statement before, particularly regarding Zone of the Enders, but it felt more like a $40 FFVII demo that came with a free fighting game. Not a great one at that.
And Yet It Moves (Wii)

And Yet It Moves review (WII)

Reviewed on January 14, 2012

As you can guess, the game eventually becomes a tedious montage of screen-turning, causing the gimmick to overstay its welcome. It might not turned out so had the developers at Broken Rules added some new scenarios rather than recycling familiar ones, or even introduced other abilities than the same old song repeatedly.
Scarface: The World is Yours (PlayStation 2)

Scarface: The World is Yours review (PS2)

Reviewed on January 07, 2012

Adding difficulty is important to any game, but turning up the frustration factor too high with little payoff can cause anyone to burn out. With little variety, there's little to help cool the tension. You'll either tough out the frustration or spend your time on something more worthwhile. Either that, or you'll just play Scarface again and pretend it ends after you've secured the first half of Miami.
Cruise Missile (Atari 2600)

Cruise Missile review (A2600)

Reviewed on December 31, 2011

This is what Einstein was talking about.
Akane the Kunoichi (Xbox 360)

Akane the Kunoichi review (X360)

Reviewed on December 29, 2011

It all boils down to your ability to make use of very basic commands like jumping and attacking. Time your presses carefully and rule the day, but if you don't you can't blame unresponsive controls or faulty collision detection. If you think about it, it's so simple. Just hit two different buttons at the right times and you'll survive. It may be that simple, but it sure as hell isn't that easy.
Assassin's Creed (PlayStation 3)

Assassin's Creed review (PS3)

Reviewed on December 24, 2011

It's unfortunate that you have to chew through the boredom to get to the meaty parts. Assassin's Creed has very about it that's exciting or worthwhile. What few scenes that are are sandwiched between tedious activities and repetition. Without these activities, the game is too short; with them, the thrill is so intermittent that it's difficult to stay excited even when you get to the meaty parts.
Berzerk (Atari 2600)

Berzerk review (A2600)

Reviewed on December 17, 2011

Berzerk is a relic. It's not a project game--nothing on Atari 2600 is or ever was meant to be. It's an appetizer, something you pop in before you start a gaming session to get you pumped for more in-depth shooting.
Red Dead Revolver (PlayStation 2)

Red Dead Revolver review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 13, 2011

Read Dead Revolver's style will mesmerize and the intermittent fun will keep you, and maybe that's what hurts the most. I know I've said this before, but sometimes the worst 'bad games' are the ones you think you're going to love. Once the spell it has over you breaks, so does your heart.
Saints Row 2: Corporate Warfare (Xbox 360)

Saints Row 2: Corporate Warfare review (X360)

Reviewed on December 10, 2011

The lack of missions combined with the dull ending leaves you hungering, but not as terribly as before. The additions are more worth your money, and this DLC doesn't feel like a cleverly disguised advertisement for an upcoming Volition title. Ultimately, what should decide whether or not you purchase Corporate Warfare is how much you enjoyed Saints Row 2.
Saints Row 2: Ultor Exposed (Xbox 360)

Saints Row 2: Ultor Exposed review (X360)

Reviewed on December 05, 2011

Ultor Exposed crams a lot of potential greatness in its small package, yet forgets the most important element. Even the presence of pornstar Tera Patrick doesn't save the painfully generic and tame--the last word you would ever want to associate with a Saints Row experience--missions. All three of them.
Saints Row: The Third (Xbox 360)

Saints Row: The Third review (X360)

Reviewed on December 04, 2011

Not only is Saints Row: The Third more efficient, but it handles better. Vehicles drive more smoothly, animation is more fluid and takes full advantage of high definition, and each scenario stands on its own. I'll gladly trade the ability to wear a tie with my hoodie for quality activities, less repetition, and improved mechanics any day.
Wally Bear and the No Gang (NES)

Wally Bear and the No Gang review (NES)

Reviewed on November 29, 2011

Lesson learned from Wally Bear and the No Gang: taking drugs is reprehensible, but killing neighborhood dogs with hubcaps is a-okay!
Jackal (NES)

Jackal review (NES)

Reviewed on November 22, 2011

Jackal is a fine slice of 8-bit war game heaven. It keeps the action rolling forward, but isn't completely mindless. Mashing buttons and watching things explode isn't what Jackal is all about. Dodging bullet after bullet and learning to deal with each situation as it arises is the meat of the game, and Jackal handles it without killing the pace.
Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES)

Super Mario Bros. 2 review (NES)

Reviewed on November 14, 2011

Viewed as a sequel, SMB2 is a victory because the experience is as fresh and imaginative as it is challenging and exciting. Viewed as a repackaging, it's still a win because it's a stellar platformer with or without Mario and company.

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