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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by JoeTheDestroyer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Saints Row 2: Ultor Exposed (Xbox 360)

Saints Row 2: Ultor Exposed review (X360)

Reviewed on December 05, 2011

Ultor Exposed crams a lot of potential greatness in its small package, yet forgets the most important element. Even the presence of pornstar Tera Patrick doesn't save the painfully generic and tame--the last word you would ever want to associate with a Saints Row experience--missions. All three of them.
Saints Row: The Third (Xbox 360)

Saints Row: The Third review (X360)

Reviewed on December 04, 2011

Not only is Saints Row: The Third more efficient, but it handles better. Vehicles drive more smoothly, animation is more fluid and takes full advantage of high definition, and each scenario stands on its own. I'll gladly trade the ability to wear a tie with my hoodie for quality activities, less repetition, and improved mechanics any day.
Wally Bear and the No Gang (NES)

Wally Bear and the No Gang review (NES)

Reviewed on November 29, 2011

Lesson learned from Wally Bear and the No Gang: taking drugs is reprehensible, but killing neighborhood dogs with hubcaps is a-okay!
Jackal (NES)

Jackal review (NES)

Reviewed on November 22, 2011

Jackal is a fine slice of 8-bit war game heaven. It keeps the action rolling forward, but isn't completely mindless. Mashing buttons and watching things explode isn't what Jackal is all about. Dodging bullet after bullet and learning to deal with each situation as it arises is the meat of the game, and Jackal handles it without killing the pace.
Super Mario Bros. 2 (NES)

Super Mario Bros. 2 review (NES)

Reviewed on November 14, 2011

Viewed as a sequel, SMB2 is a victory because the experience is as fresh and imaginative as it is challenging and exciting. Viewed as a repackaging, it's still a win because it's a stellar platformer with or without Mario and company.
Halloween (Atari 2600)

Halloween review (A2600)

Reviewed on November 10, 2011

Once the shock wears thin, you'll still have inventive gameplay. However, the act of running from one room to another, saving children, trying to survive, and stabbing Michael Myers becomes a slow and tedious one. There's little in the way of fast-paced or addictive gameplay, so the simplicity and extreme repetition make for a rather dull experience.
Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge (Game Boy)

Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge review (GB)

Reviewed on November 09, 2011

Only six levels, very few chances to test out new weapons, and situations we've seen before (magical though they are)... Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge is not going to satisfy most gamers, especially those without a hankering for retro or a deep love for Mega Man. Only the hardcore fans will seek this one out and enjoy it, though maybe not as much as they would other contributions to the vast franchise.
Koudelka (PlayStation)

Koudelka review (PSX)

Reviewed on October 28, 2011

I can only guess that it was Koudelka's lack of polish that scared off the popular crowd, but its merits far outweigh its superficial flaws. Make no mistake, Koudelka is a stellar dark RPG with a great story, one that was sadly overlooked.
Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo (Turbografx-CD)

Akumajou Dracula X: Chi no Rondo review (TGCD)

Reviewed on October 27, 2011

Rondo of Blood prides itself on following Castlevania traditions while not relying on them solely. I could yammer on for ages about awesome level designs, great ominous scenery, and fantastic soundtrack packed with modern updates of memorable themes. However, you could attribute those qualities to any great Castlevania title. Rondo of Blood uses them in such a way that they serve as both tradition and homage.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (NES)

A Nightmare on Elm Street review (NES)

Reviewed on October 26, 2011

The Elm Street license, however, won't distract most gamers from noticing that this an unremarkable platformer. This is not to say it's unplayable. The mechanics, apart from entering buildings, are stable and functional; the platforming scenarios are passable; and the overall product is still far greater than many others that carry the LJN name.
Ghoul School (NES)

Ghoul School review (NES)

Reviewed on October 25, 2011

If anything keeps Ghoul School from mediocrity, it's the kitschy touch. It's entering the music hall and battling a monstrous music instructor and his carnivorous music note sidekick. It's cheesy enemies like the Grease Monkeys, cap-wearing primates that chuck wrenches. Sadly, camp is not enough to elevate the experience to greatness. The act of tediously searching through mostly bland environments wears you down.
Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse (NES)

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse review (NES)

Reviewed on October 24, 2011

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse is consistently great from start to finish. Each level begins with malevolent surroundings and devious music for a chilling atmosphere. It sends you through a gauntlet of challenging scenarios and against horrific creatures, building for a grand conclusion in a fearsome clash. Castlevania III is a fitting finale to a memorable trilogy, and easily the apex of the three.
Friday the 13th (NES)

Friday the 13th review (NES)

Reviewed on October 22, 2011

Horny pot-smoking counselors outrunning a masked maniac isn't enough to fill a side-scrolling action game, but it can definitely work for a cheesy film. There isn't enough there to inspire constant interactivity, and just running around and avoiding or killing Jason would be a dull task. However, padding out the finished product with broken ideas is less favorable than not bothering with the project.
DeathSpank (PlayStation 3)

DeathSpank review (PS3)

Reviewed on October 21, 2011

The sound of cold steel slicing through a demon's rough hide... The jangle of cash as it materializes in the vicinity of your enemy's corpse... The glory of a well-placed post-battle quip... and who can forget Justice! They're equal parts of what make DeathSpank an exhilarating action-RPG, one that boasts a generous amount of humor, action, and side quests.
Silent Hill (PlayStation)

Silent Hill review (PSX)

Reviewed on October 14, 2011

But when a well made horror game beckons you to advance further, dread replaces your enthusiasm. You wonder at what traps could be waiting, or what new grotesque menace could be lurking in the shadows waiting to unzip your torso and feast on your corpse. You advance further, counting your ammunition and health restoration items and hoping it will be enough.
Cursed Mountain (Wii)

Cursed Mountain review (WII)

Reviewed on October 08, 2011

While Cursed Mountain provides thick atmosphere, tightly designed levels, and an adequate battle system, it skimps on the aspects a horror title should contain: challenge and scare factor. Without challenge there's nothing to fear.
Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (NES)

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest review (NES)

Reviewed on October 04, 2011

It's almost beautiful how the old mechanics and concepts can be adapted into a different style of game, one that looks brilliant at first glance and feels adventurous and exciting. It all seems so picture perfect that when it finally goes wrong you can't help but shed a few bloody tears of your own.
Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em (Atari 2600)

Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em review (A2600)

Reviewed on September 30, 2011

It's rather salty...
Chrono Trigger (SNES)

Chrono Trigger review (SNES)

Reviewed on September 26, 2011

There are many facets of this time traveling quest that make it one of Square's finest masterpieces, from lovable characters to an amazing soundtrack, but no one particular piece takes the center stage and begs for your attention above any other. Chrono Trigger is in a state of old school RPG equilibrium; it's balanced just right.
Super Mario Bros. (NES)

Super Mario Bros. review (NES)

Reviewed on September 21, 2011

I found that even though the years have passed that I still hold a spot in my heart for the first Super Mario Bros. It showed me where games had come from and where they were going, and the vision it projected was enticing.

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