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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by JoeTheDestroyer and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Zombie Nation (NES)

Zombie Nation review (NES)

Reviewed on October 28, 2012

In a shooter, extremely loose controls serve only to infuriate gamers by adding an element of cheapness to the difficulty. This is precisely what the game does, and it pays for it in the end. Instead of an action-packed mixture of beauty and quirk, Zombie Nation is an unstable and tedious shooter.
Haunted House (Atari 2600)

Haunted House review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 27, 2012

I'll dare to say what other niche fans will consider blasphemy: Haunted House has aged poorly.
Zombies Ate My Neighbors (SNES)

Zombies Ate My Neighbors review (SNES)

Reviewed on October 25, 2012

Without missing a beat, I crushed all opposition, rescued every neighbor, and stockpiled weapons and items like mad. With fluid and fast-paced mechanics paired with simple arcade-style action, it was difficult not to stomp my enemies into the ground and develop a complex.
Frankenstein: The Monster Returns (NES)

Frankenstein: The Monster Returns review (NES)

Reviewed on October 24, 2012

...[Frankenstein: The Monster Returns] is a ho-hum action title unworthy of your valuable time and brain cells. Skip it and read the original novel instead.
Frankenstein's Monster (Atari 2600)

Frankenstein's Monster review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 22, 2012

Its thanks to its simple structure, swift pace, and impressive implementation of an actual ending that Frankenstein's Monster is a stellar entry into Atari 2600's library. Unfortunately, it's not a well-known title, though it deserve to be. I say this because it's unlike other obscure Atari 2600 titles in that it's actually worth playing for fans of the console.
Dr. Chaos (NES)

Dr. Chaos review (NES)

Reviewed on October 15, 2012

At no point was I required to execute tough leaps or weave through a complex arrangement of platforms while worrying about a nearby winged skeleton. Everything was straightforward and obvious, and actually quite dull. Such vapidity brought down the experience as a whole and left me with a new unfortunate outlook on the game.
Ghost Manor (Atari 2600)

Ghost Manor review (A2600)

Reviewed on October 14, 2012

Ghost Manor sacrifices incremental difficulty boosts for variety, essentially providing you with multiple "level ones" that lack the challenge, bite and addictiveness of a typical 2600 game.
BloodRayne (GameCube)

BloodRayne review (GCN)

Reviewed on October 11, 2012

BloodRayne is not a taut scare game or a breathtaking artsy experience. It's an over-the-top action title with horror elements that hits all of the right marks, and sometimes that's all you need.
Zombie Shooter 2 (PC)

Zombie Shooter 2 review (PC)

Reviewed on October 09, 2012

Even as a cheap thrill, Zombie Shooter 2 fails to impress, as its unwarranted frustration factor will leave you looking for a more intense and less irksome experience.
Clock Tower (PlayStation)

Clock Tower review (PSX)

Reviewed on October 03, 2012

Clock Tower has some bite to it, mostly because you are not as enabled as Leon Kennedy or even Alan Wake. Your choice of heroes includes a school girl, her not-combat-trained friend, an investigator, and a reporter. In other words, you're screwed.
Soul (Xbox 360)

Soul review (X360)

Reviewed on October 01, 2012

I wish I could further yammer on about Soul and its face-breaking difficulty, but the truth is it's a very simple, straightforward game. What you see is what you get. You guide a soul through passageways and try not to touch obstructions. This is familiar territory, as it has been covered by many a flash game.
King's Knight (NES)

King's Knight review (NES)

Reviewed on September 10, 2012

Although it sounded like an interesting hybrid of shooter and RPG, the mix wasn't enough to hold my attention as a kid. Without the game's selling point to hold me in thrall, there was nothing to dull the stiff challenge I experienced.
Power Blade (NES)

Power Blade review (NES)

Reviewed on September 06, 2012

The situation only worsens when you secure a power suit, which turns any level into a massive abattoir. Thanks to the god complex that weapon upgrades like the power suit might give you, 90% of the game’s potential challenge is rendered null and void. Where's the entertainment in that?
Little Ninja Brothers (NES)

Little Ninja Brothers review (NES)

Reviewed on August 18, 2012

There are random encounters, for instance, but they don’t appear in the manner you might expect. Battles take place in real time on various battlefields. Basic stones serve as obstructions and ponds act as HP-draining traps. While negotiating such hazards, you must deliver knuckle sandwiches of justice to unruly beasts and wicked ninjas.
Starship Hector (NES)

Starship Hector review (NES)

Reviewed on August 17, 2012

It may seem like too much to take out a swarm of ships coming at you when you have to dodge four to eight bullets at the same time AND manage to take out the cannons to prevent further shots, but damn it, that first stage will teach you to do so, and you'll love it.
Mystery Quest (NES)

Mystery Quest review (NES)

Reviewed on August 08, 2012

The thing is there's very little I can do to make this game sound interesting. It's so incredibly simplistic that it's boring. Having to guess your way through half of it doesn't improve the experience. In fact, between fighting off the torpor brought on by uninteresting gameplay and managing your frustration caused by irritating jumps, you'll more than likely find yourself in a rage quit situation before too long.
Swamp Thing (NES)

Swamp Thing review (NES)

Reviewed on August 08, 2012

Swamp Thing is too damn hard!
Bad Dudes (NES)

Bad Dudes review (NES)

Reviewed on August 08, 2012

The true heart of the problem with Bad Dudes is that it's incredibly boring. I don't know how, but Data East managed to take something that looks awesome and turn it into a burly snoozefest.
Peter Pan and the Pirates (NES)

Peter Pan and the Pirates review (NES)

Reviewed on August 08, 2012

It's like Equilibrium slapped together a basic platformer, crudely inserted characters from the television series, then tacked on the ability to fly and called it a day. Even if you are a fan of the show, you deserve way better than this. You're much better off browsing old episodes on YouTube and forgetting this awkward license title exists.
Arkista's Ring (NES)

Arkista's Ring review (NES)

Reviewed on August 02, 2012

The game is enjoyable for the first forty stages or so, but still not brilliant. It certainly isn't good enough to justify 124 stages, or even half that.

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