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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by EmP and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Bomberman Land Touch! 2 (DS)

Bomberman Land Touch! 2 review (DS)

Reviewed on March 30, 2008

Touch 2 does a good job of throwing an insane selection of just how many games you play and at varying the difficulty of them all. You’ll also have problems with a game that asks you to slingshot yourself into the air to try and collect coloured bombs for point, but you’ll have less of a problem pulling the same bombs out of a pond when you take on a fishing mini-game. It will probably take you a few turns to rack up enough points to pass a stage that has a hanger spit out a constant stream of tanks at you that you need destroy by lobbing bombs into their path, but you’ll probably find it easier to finish off a game of air-hockey played with an explosive puck you need to explode in the face of your challenger
Mass Effect (Xbox 360)

Mass Effect review (X360)

Reviewed on March 30, 2008

Mass Effect isn’t a game that deals just in moralistic black & white. These choices, while straightforward enough at first, are often draped in an ugly shade of red.
R-Type III: The Third Lightning (Game Boy Advance)

R-Type III: The Third Lightning review (GBA)

Reviewed on March 24, 2008

R-Type III enjoys taking elements from the first game and then applying a generous new coat of difficulty. R-Type’s first level had you trade shots with a hulking, cannon-wielding robot as you both tore through a metallic cylinder. This is recreated with triple the number of gundam-ripoffs, but makes the last invincible, letting it pepper you with blasts until you force it to smash into the scenery.
No More Heroes (Wii)

No More Heroes review (WII)

Reviewed on March 23, 2008

But it’s when you reach these off-key boss fights that No More Hereos has it’s best moments. You meet Dr. Peace, western-style six-hooters and 70’s porn ‘tash, crooning into the empty stadium, telling you it was always his dream to perform on a stage like this and how the money you paid for the fight made it possible. You converse like two old friends, then you try your best to end each other’s life.
Fantasy Wars (PC)

Fantasy Wars review (PC)

Reviewed on February 27, 2008

What's refreshing is that the word 'strategy' isn't just in the genre's name out of some long-forgotten tradition: it must become the lynchpin of your game should you ever dream of progression.
Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None (Wii)

Agatha Christie: And Then There Were None review (WII)

Reviewed on February 21, 2008

The original PC version utilised a point and click interface to navigate Narracott's investigation, and the Wii takes that same approach sans mouse. Instead, the Wiimote is employed to use the on-screen pointer, which you aim at objects of interest to have your avatar interact with.
Sam & Max 203: Night of the Raving Dead (PC)

Sam & Max 203: Night of the Raving Dead review (PC)

Reviewed on February 19, 2008

Night of the Raving Dead brings all the good things the series has been steadily building upon and then some. It improves upon the lacklustre length of Moai Better Blues, keeps the quality of the script high, and, while the puzzles are still on the easy side, they’re still a step above those seen in the first season.
Art of Fighting Anthology (PlayStation 2)

Art of Fighting Anthology review (PS2)

Reviewed on February 17, 2008

Art of Fighting will break you harder than Ivan Drago.
Final Fantasy Tactics (PlayStation)

Final Fantasy Tactics review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 30, 2008

To win this fight, the game encourages you to run around the edges of the screen spamming Ramza's stat-up skills to boost him to super-human proportions while an enraged, mutated Weigraf chases you around like the victim of a poor Benny Hill sketch. After a few laps, Ramza will be so artificially bloated that Weigarf's heartbreaking final sacrifice will amount to naught.
Sam & Max 202: Moai Better Blues (PC)

Sam & Max 202: Moai Better Blues review (PC)

Reviewed on January 28, 2008

It even makes time to take sly shots at other games such as Portal’s teleport system, Duke Nukem’s inability to release a damn game on time and Metal Gear Solid’s over-dramatic death-scream. You know the one!
Ark of Time (PlayStation)

Ark of Time review (PSX)

Reviewed on January 22, 2008

But, no, that would imply that a light-hearted slant had been taken on the game. Instead, Richard's position and news story are SERIOUS BUISNESS! This leads him to undertake serious issues like helping a local fisherman find his rare white crab who jumped ship while he wasn't looking. Said fisherman isn't the sharpest knife in the draw, so just painting any old crab will suffice -- teaching you that newspaper writers are rife with treachery.
Brian Lara International Cricket 2007 (Xbox 360)

Brian Lara International Cricket 2007 review (X360)

Reviewed on January 21, 2008

No matter the skill setting of the team you're playing, be it mighty Australia to pitiful America, there's about a 50% chance that they'll either be an LBW awarded or the ball will smash into the bails. Either way, look to bowl out entire teams for under 50 runs.
World Snooker Championship: Season 2007-08 (DS)

World Snooker Championship: Season 2007-08 review (DS)

Reviewed on January 19, 2008

I lost my game 15-80, owing my points to a few lucky “Smash & Hope” shots and a high break of eight when I managed to pot a red and then the black. The few shots I took only really existed to draw the ire of the commentator who had heaped nothing but praise on my opponent. This is because the control scheme can politely be described as ‘tricky’.
Everquest II: Rise of Kunark (PC)

Everquest II: Rise of Kunark review (PC)

Reviewed on January 12, 2008

Even when you leave the lush vegetation of Timorous Deep it becomes clear that the aspect of soloing is especially strong within the Everquest II universe, meaning you don’t need to scourge for a party before you try to take on even the simplest task. It’s an option that a lot more MMOs could do with including.
Crazy Pig (DS)

Crazy Pig review (DS)

Reviewed on January 07, 2008

Crazy Pig is a bit of an enigma, and by an enigma I mean a flat-out lie. Billed as a dual game that allows you to raise a piglet from scratch and play a slew of mini-games, the title only really delivers on the latter promise. The raising of your porker is little more than throwing food and drink at it when the hunger and thirst levels are low, making a fuss of it when it's sad or cleaning the messy little bugger periodically.
Crackdown (Xbox 360)

Crackdown review (X360)

Reviewed on December 22, 2007

A lot of hype has been slapped upon non-linear sandbox-games as of late, but any disconcerting player can see through all the buzzwords and deduce that all your Deux Ex's, your Lost Cause's and your Knights of the Old Republic's all walk you towards a set destination – they just offer differing and often intertwining paths in which to reach them. In this regard, Crackdown’s really no different; however, how it manages to take a step above the majority of’ ‘open’ games is in just how many different paths it presents.
The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (DS)

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass review (DS)

Reviewed on December 01, 2007

Things starts how they always start in the Zelda multiverse, with the kidnapping of that dappy bint of a princess whose only point of existence is to be spirited away by dark forces at the start of every new adventure. In a new development twist for the series, Phantom Hourglass is a direct sequel from Wind Waker on the Gamecube, meaning that it inherits the THE BIG TWO flaws that chapter suffered from
Luminous Arc (DS)

Luminous Arc review (DS)

Reviewed on November 25, 2007

The more ‘professional’ reviewers out there have all led their reviews by saying something along the lines of “It’s no Final Fantasy Tactics” and I fully agree with them. Luminous Arc isn’t a dull, monotonous trek through a featureless and overly-convoluted series of caves: it’s an explosive rocket bungee through a gallery of neon-lit wonderment.
Escape From Paradise City (PC)

Escape From Paradise City review (PC)

Reviewed on November 18, 2007

. The bank robber, Porter, can pick up anything to small machine-pistols (and, in an odd decision to recycle fantasy prefixes on the weapon types, a rusty Uzi) to hulking assault rifles while the crooked cop, Chekov, has a greater command of henchmen but prefers to provide covering fire with handguns. The last of the trio, Angel, a female brawler pulled from death row, simply kicks a lot or arse. Via violence. The three serve individual purposes, embodied by everyone having separate skill branches which they can level up through RPG-like methods.
Sam & Max 201: Ice Station Santa (PC)

Sam & Max 201: Ice Station Santa review (PC)

Reviewed on November 11, 2007

It’s been a few months since I last played through the six episodes of Telltale’s Sam & Max resurrection (and then played through them all again to review the entire season as a whole!) and the general feeling was positive. The series retained most of the aspects that made the 1993 original Hit the road such a well respected title and established itself as one of the better revivals that companies out of fresh ideas like the throw out into the market these days. Edios raping Lara Croft’s rotting corpse – I’m looking at you! Leave the poor girl alone.

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