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Review Archives (All Reviews)

You are currently looking through all reviews for games that are available on every platform the site currently covers. Below, you will find reviews written by EmP and sorted according to date of submission, with the newest content displaying first. As many as 20 results will display per page. If you would like to try a search with different parameters, specify them below and submit a new search.

Available Reviews
Assassin's Creed (PlayStation 3)

Assassin's Creed review (PS3)

Reviewed on February 04, 2009

The idiot guards conspire to make one point very clear: Assassinís Creed is a game set amongst a flock of intolerable dumbness.
Sam & Max: Season One (Wii)

Sam & Max: Season One review (WII)

Reviewed on January 28, 2009

But youíll find nothing on the Wii quite like Sam & Max: Season 1.
Naruto: Rise of a Ninja (Xbox 360)

Naruto: Rise of a Ninja review (X360)

Reviewed on January 21, 2009

Thereís a good game to be enjoyed underneath the underachieving direction that fails to cater for any audience the game may be aimed at. Youíll just have to employ a little bit of ninja guile to discover it.
Kidz Sports: Crazy Golf (Wii)

Kidz Sports: Crazy Golf review (WII)

Reviewed on January 18, 2009

Compared the rest of its Wii budget label brethren, Crazy Mini Golf is by far the favoured game, but itís a little like saying testicular is your favourite form of cancer.
EverQuest II: The Shadow Odyssey (PC)

EverQuest II: The Shadow Odyssey review (PC)

Reviewed on January 14, 2009

EverQuest II has fought hard to redeem itself from the hollow shell it once was, and itís made this possible by dumping uncountable options right into the lap of the player. Returning players will find an extension of worth and new players have found a great tie to jump in.
Big Bang Mini (DS)

Big Bang Mini review (DS)

Reviewed on January 13, 2009

Iíve learnt to destroy heat-seeking cod skeletons with fireworks. Now excuse me while I save the world.
TrackMania DS (DS)

TrackMania DS review (DS)

Reviewed on January 05, 2009

The sulky shot soon turned into a toast. I have no idea how the Scots at Firebrand have managed it, but Trackmania DS is a triumph. I canít help feel this may have been to spite me.
The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga (PlayStation 2)

The King of Fighters Collection: The Orochi Saga review (PS2)

Reviewed on January 04, 2009

You could, in fact, buy the entire compilation for Ď98 alone, and not a single person would blame you. But included is five years of iconic team battling all held together by an over-branching plot that would do numerous RPGs proud, the trip back in time is indeed appreciated.
Perfect Dark Zero (Xbox 360)

Perfect Dark Zero review (X360)

Reviewed on January 04, 2009

Co-op modes commonly up the enemy count with the inclusion of a second player, and as well they should. Taking a friend in tow demands more targets to aim at, and Zero obligates. It obliges in the form of crippling overkill.
Zoom! (Genesis)

Zoom! review (GEN)

Reviewed on December 25, 2008

Indigo Prophecy (PlayStation 2)

Indigo Prophecy review (PS2)

Reviewed on December 23, 2008

Itís around here that Marcus stops worrying about his mental health and starts trying to be middle Americaís answer to Chow Yun Fat on a tabletop-sized slab of LSD. Itís about here you may want to start thinking about employing your consoleís off switch.
Football Director DS (DS)

Football Director DS review (DS)

Reviewed on December 15, 2008

Football Director DS is a promising youth team player. The foundations for a worthwhile asset are there for all to see; it simply needs to be carefully cultivated in the future to reach full potential.
Pony Luv (DS)

Pony Luv review (DS)

Reviewed on December 01, 2008

Here, all you need to is run through a virtual checklist of tasks that keeps your horsie happy, then put the bugger to work to earn more cash which gets swallowed up by further investing in the original checklist. And thatís it.
Disgaea DS (DS)

Disgaea DS review (DS)

Reviewed on November 26, 2008

It's this trio that quickly become the driving force of Disgaa, be it through Etna's constant sadistic mocking every time Laharl makes a mistake or Flonne's unflagging insistence that both of her new demon friends are basically good people underneath all the mindless slaughtering and evil cackling. Such is the force behind the threesome's interactions that it's all too easy to forget that there's a competent strategy game lurking between all the comic capering.
Last King of Africa (DS)

Last King of Africa review (DS)

Reviewed on November 22, 2008

Last King of Africa is like a Best Of album that does away with all the tracks that never really worked and exist only to bolster the self-esteem of the band, keeps everything that did well enough in the singles chart to indicate the fan baseís enjoyment, then transfers it from vinyl to CD.
Ninjatown (DS)

Ninjatown review (DS)

Reviewed on November 17, 2008

Ninjatown has thrown me for a bit of a loop, so much so that I just know itís going to lead to the kind of introduction Iíve been trying to avoid for years, so I might as well get it out of the way early then sulk in the corner for a while. Here goes: Ninjatown has a cute, fluffy exterior that cunningly hides a devious centre.
Alisia Dragoon (Genesis)

Alisia Dragoon review (GEN)

Reviewed on November 12, 2008

But she does have need of two things that set her apart: a quintet of highly-destructive pets that faithfully tail her wherever she treads and the rather handy ability to channel flickering forks of lightning into the faces of evil hostiles ranging from hives of undead monkey-bats to teleporting guardsmen swinging mammoth claymores.
7 Sins (PlayStation 2)

7 Sins review (PS2)

Reviewed on November 06, 2008

7 Sins too many.
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter 2 (Xbox 360)

Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter 2 review (X360)

Reviewed on November 05, 2008

You finally accept that you're safe. You switch off. Thoughts of caution are pushed to the back of your mind and you think about the next trial, the next slice of war. You're wrong to do so. There's not going to be a happy ending.
X Com: Terror from the Deep (PlayStation)

X Com: Terror from the Deep review (PSX)

Reviewed on November 04, 2008

You start the game with bloody harpoons guns! The only way to close the vast technologic gap between races is to slaughter in mass number, steal the weapons from their corpses, and have your boffins at home make you human-friendly versions.

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