I saw this post on Craigslist and thought someone here might be interested. Emergingthoughts.com is looking for indie-music writers. It's a paid position and the site looks new, so it might be a good chance to get in on the ground floor somewhere.

I already have an internship at Pitchforkmedia. I wipe up all the excess pretentious shit.

When did that happen? I must have missed that post. In any case, congratulations!

That's a joke. I'm a Rehabilitation Science major, dude.

Genjuro and I are actually deep within the Priory of Scion, so yeah.

We're also hoping to land a job with Fergie to wash the piss stains out of her pants.

Oh man, no kidding. She's quite the pisser, too.

I knew you were in a medical-related program, but you write about music so much that an internship with Pitchforkmedia didn't seem that farfetched. I know you mentioned them before, but honestly, I had no idea if you liked them or hated them, and obviously I missed the blatant sarcasm in "pretentious shit." Wow, that was a moment of idiocy through and through.

Now, let's move on to more important topics. Will you be cleaning Fergie with a sponge, or your tongue?

Will you be cleaning Fergie with a sponge, or your tongue?

A combination of will.i.am's ass hair & Mr. Bubble.