Title: I was expecting to be in it for the long haul
Posted: November 05, 2009 (08:33 PM)
Five months, six months, a year, we were expecting to take care of my Dad's recent condition for quite some time. However, we were all shocked, even the nurse and doctor, that he passed away early this afternoon. Not even two full weeks passed since his sudden switch. I don't think it has completely sunk in yet, especially since the entire situation was so sudden. I mean, just about 2 weeks ago, he was just completely normal, and now he's just gone thanks to cancer. On the upside, the doctor said he didn't suffer at all during his final moments, and the nurse said the last thing he did before he went was smile. On a selfish downside, I'm possibly going to lose $3000, because at the moment, I'm the only one that can afford my Dad's cremation (they didn't have a monthly payment plan or anything, they wanted the money up-front). I feel awful for feeling this way, but at the same time... that's a lot of money lost that I tried so hard to keep for years. That was quite possibly one of the most uncomfortable situations I was in, because my Mom and brother was staring at me just thinking about it at the funeral place, as if I'm the one who killed my Dad. Don't get me wrong, I would have done it even without all the death stares and uneasiness, since it's my Dad, but that wouldn't have made it better for my financial situation. This isn't how I was expecting the paragraph to end, and I can't think of anything better, because I'm tired as hell.
Posted: November 05, 2009 (09:34 PM)
Wow... I'm really sorry to hear that, man. =( I really don't know what else to say, except that in a way, it's probably better this way because you won't have to see him suffer any for however many months they had predicted. Not sure if that knowledge helps any, but... I hope it's some consolation.
Cancer sucks, but at least it sounds like it happened rather quickly and painlessly. But still; a death is a death, regardless of how quick orpainless it is, and especially if it's someone this close to you. I don't expect this to make it any easier for you. Just take it easy for a while until things settle down for yourself. I'm sure you'll be alright.
Posted: November 06, 2009 (01:20 AM)
The money thing is such bullshit, isn't it? I love how we get charged because someone we love died. It's just... really... fucking bizarre.
There are certain things I think our taxes should pay for. Health care and funeral costs (at least the burial/cremation) should be covered. If a little less of our money went towards military research we could probably avoid these kind of painful situations.
Posted: November 06, 2009 (07:03 AM)
Sorry to hear this happened.
" If a little less of our money went towards military research "
Oh c'mon. We need enough weapons and nukes to blow up the world 9 times over. We need moar!
But seriously, I agree we need to spend taxes more intelligently.
Posted: November 06, 2009 (10:29 AM)
I'm sorry about your loss.
Posted: November 06, 2009 (02:29 PM)
I'm really sorry. I've never been through something like that, so I don't know how you feel right now, and I'm dreading when that time comes. So all I can say is I'm sorry.
Posted: November 06, 2009 (08:39 PM)
I'm so sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family.
Posted: November 06, 2009 (10:28 PM)
You have my condolences as well -- I'm very sorry for your loss.
Posted: November 08, 2009 (04:10 PM)
In the time I spent away during the team tournament, I learned a few things, among them how terrible and burdening funeral costs are. Between coroner release of the body, obtaining certificates of death and paperwork odds and ends, so many people nickel and dime on tragedy it's horrifying. The funeral industry is generally professional, willing to try to make things work for people and comforting I've found (circumstances were different albeit), although it is costly and I can't speak of its lower tier. It's the piggybackers -- like Verizon forcing a person to pay an additional fee and undergo a credit check to change the name of the deceased's cell phone bill -- that will infuriate to no end.
The best advice is to try not to let them. It's tough grieving a person, and even tougher when you're close enough you have to deal with the paperwork behind it. Talk with a lawyer (a church might be able to recommend a good one) concerning anything tricky -- mortgages and loans, debt, titles and deeds -- and get a tax professional to assist next season. Delegate tasks that need to get done if possible.
Be strong for others and let your healing wound make you stronger. Best wishes.
Posted: November 09, 2009 (11:03 PM)
Thanks for the advice.