Title: Latest Review +
Posted: June 15, 2009 (02:02 PM)
BONUS - The original, unfinished review I was moaning about:
On first impact, God Hand will destroy you; whether you're a skilled player or someone who just wants to have a good time, it will rip you a new one. God Hand does not discriminate. And don't even assume you'll get past the first stage with only one or two loses: you'll be lucky to have made it past the very first segment without dying more than three times. Now this first area, called (look up later), seems to start off quite simple, with you, the main character, named Gene, stumbles into a western town. You're greeted by two punks, with mohawks and tight, leather clothing, who want to do nothing but kick the crap out of you. Beating up on these two troublemakers shouldn't be that hard, even with the puny health bar the developers glady bestowed upon you.
A little bit over a minute into the fight and you're on the ground, life completely drained... defeated.
You probably thought that, since this was a beat 'em up title, that mashing buttons would be enough to survive the fight. You were horribly, horribly wrong then. Granted, Gene lacks the ability to block, most likely because he's too manly to do so, but he can dodge like crazy, and you shouldn't take this ability for granted; it'll save your life more times than you can imagine. Though, I can understand your reluctence to use it at first, considering its odd placement on the controller. Basically, you move Gene with the left analog stick, but you dodge, either by strifing left and right, flip backwards, or duck, with the right analog stick. With practice, however, you'll get the hang of dodging in a fight, and it'll become second nature.
You'll still get your ass kicked, though.
Dodging, while very useful, is only one handy tool in Gene's arsenal of abilities. You're going to need to constantly use his entire set of tools to even survive battles. As you continue to fight thugs, who, as you progress through the game, end up being dominatrixes, clowns, robots, and so much more, have this tendency to block only after you throw a couple of hits. If you continue to attack while they block, they'll break your combo, and if you're not careful, counter with a deadly move that will likely end your life. Thankfully, you possess a move, a guard breaker, which, literally, breaks through their guard, granting you the opportunity to pound them even more, possibly putting them into a stun, that, in turn, with the press of the O button, allows you to lay an additional smack down by violently mashing the O button again with all your might *breathes* It can be a bit hard to pull off, since you have a small window to perform before the punk unblocks, but when you actually succeed, it'll have a damaging effect.
You will still get your ass kicked.
Don't worry your pants off, because you also have a set of special attacks, called Roulett Moves, that you can use at the press of the R1 button. Though, you'll need to find and collect Roulette Orbs first to perform them. Once you have some and hit the button, everything on screen will suddenly move in slow-motion, and you'll only have seconds to choose your desired move. Next thing you know, Gene is performing some crazy attack, which usually involves kicking someone's sack or running on a thug's face, sending them flying across town.
Then... there's the Godhand, your biggest asset. It's not exactly something you can call up whenever you feel like it, however. The Godhand is something you have to build up in the tension gauge, through constant fighting. Once it's built up to the point that the gauge is glowing orange, feel free to let it rip any time you need it, then watch as you turn into this unstoppable, untouchable fighter that unleashes his normal attack at a frighteningly fast pace. For a limited time, of course.
With the help of all of these techniques, and when used properly, you'll become quite the badass, manly fighter in God Hand.
But you'll still get your ass kicked.
So is there actually anything you can do to not get your ass kicked in this game?
Posted: June 15, 2009 (03:51 PM)
Good review. I now want to play God Hand. I like the slimmer version, too. I think sometimes it's safe to assume that just saying "guard breaker" will get the gist of the move across. This is something I will apply to a Ninja Gaiden II review, if I ever write one.
Posted: June 15, 2009 (05:13 PM)
Thanks. I guess what went wrong was that I didn't really feel like making a review of the game in the first place. Then I figured I probably won't end up reviewing it for a very long time if I pass on it now, so I decided to go for it, and at that point, I didn't really think of anyway to write the review. Just jumped into it.