So, after a bit of a writing hiatus to recharge my batteries from the TT, here is my review for Wild Arms.
Tough one to write, so I hope it comes off well. I spent most of yesterday afternoon alternating between staring off into space and sporadically typing for a bit. And it took about 2 hours just to wrap things up. Hopefully my next review isn't so painful to write.
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|honestgamer - September 17, 2009 (01:14 PM)
I've been in that position several times, overdrive. Fortunately, things have always calmed down again and I've been able to review comfortably. I hope the same happens for you. It probably will after another review or two...
|aschultz - September 17, 2009 (01:16 PM)
I usually don't look at a review in-depth unless I like it, and I do like this one, because it describes the fun sort of game I'd always wondered about--something that is nostalgic for others and yet still beyond my range. Something that I remember guides and reviews for but never had the chance to look at, and it leaves me saying, that was fun to learn about series/game X.
That said, I can picture that you maybe struggled to push some sentences through. Here's my impression--I plead no contest to that I still make these sorts of mistakes myself!
I'm still not sure what the conventions are for picking apart a staff review, so I'll leave it here.
"that's game's sterling" - that game's sterling
paragraph 3 is a bit tangled and can be said quicker. Maybe it can be eliminated altogether or crumpled into one sentence to introduce the strong paragraph 4.
"getting from point A to point B is easier said than done" slightly flabby phrase
"twists and turns" see above
"(heck, it wasn't an original idea even in 1997, when this game was released)" a bit of an aside to your lead-in & I don't think the conversational bit matches up well & I think you do a good job of explaining some interesting plot details anyway.
"things do get dragged down a fair bit by a handful of puzzles" "-> A few puzzles drag the game down."
"Murphy's Law" part is funny but a bit more brevity might make it even funnier. It's just perfect as a botched buildup to the final payoff but all the same you may be doing a bit yourself--talking about it a bit too long.
The "I hate you" dolls are very funny and maybe they could be mentioned in the review and not just the final thought?
|overdrive - September 18, 2009 (10:43 AM)
Some good catches there, ASchultz....especially the third paragraph, as I didn't like the way it read, but couldn't think of a way to make things better yesterday. Thanks a lot. Made a few alterations and hopefully, it reads a bit better now.
|aschultz - September 18, 2009 (02:49 PM)
Glad I could help. And glad you were able to enjoy writing the review as from feedback thread. It's the sort where you probably don't want to let the rules get in the way of having fun and making it fun with a first draft, and you didn't.