Title: ADVENTURES IN ORIENTEERING
Posted: October 02, 2006 (07:28 AM)
For those of you who don't remember (all of you. Not like I expect you to, though) I signed up for an Orienteering class recently, because I need a PED credit. I would've signed up for something else, because I didn't even know what orienteering was until a few months ago, but everything else good was taken. Weightlifting goes like...the night it comes up, of course. Rock climbing. All gone.
The only other thing available was...I think...dancing. Special dancing. I forget the name of it, exactly, but it's the kind of dancing when you twirl around a streamer and, well, that's about the last thing I need on what little reputation I have.
So, the deal with orienteering is that I show up on two saturdays and two sundays, we go through the woods, and use maps to find these little markers, and I get an automatic A. Attendance is 90% of the grade, so I don't even have to do the exam online, I'll still get an A. First day was cool because we didn't do anything on the first day but go over the basics, and my instructor's one of those teachers who really enjoys his job and is actually fun to be around. Love teachers like that, makes the whole semester smoother.
But, Sunday, we went to the woods. Oh, what a day.
I hate spiders. I hate spider webs. I hate spider webs with the spiders still on them. I hate briar patches. I knolls. I hate streams. I hate horse shit. I hate snakes. I hate dogs. I hate the forest and all that it conceals. I don't mind the walking so much, that was good exercise, can always use that, but damn. I'm in the forest looking for the stupid marker, trying to discern which little dot on the map indicates my current position, and to make matters worse, my partner is one of those prissy little valley girls who hates the woods even more than I do and won't shut up about it. I had a thorn sink DEEP in my flesh, hurt like mad.
Anyway, I figure it'll help if I dress a little better next time, so I'm bringing my army gear for the next two days. Hope that makes a difference.
Oh, and on another note, DO NOT BUY Just Cause. That game is total crap. The controls are twitchy, the missions are dumb, and it's just an ugly on top of all that.
Posted: October 02, 2006 (10:24 AM)
I HAVE THE NIMBLE BODY TO DO THAT TWIRLY RIBBON DANCING AND THE CAPS LOCK TO WRITE THIS IN ALL CAPS.
Posted: October 02, 2006 (03:57 PM)
THIS JUST IN: LASTHERO IS A GIRL!
The other day, the piston broke through my bike's engine while I was going about 50-60mph or so. It threw me a good 10 feet, landed me on my face, and skidded me another 10 feet or so. Bike, jacket and helmet written off.
I'm fine though, what with being so damn hardcore.
Point is, if I complained everytime something like seeing a spider or getting jabbed with a thorn happened, I'd never leave my blog!
I once went orinenteering. I taunted a badger into a rage and it chased me. I'm sure I said this last time you brought up the subject. Bastrd thing was like lightening.
Posted: October 02, 2006 (05:23 PM)
Posted: October 02, 2006 (05:26 PM)
Thank you for telling me that, EmP. Your amazing and somewhat ludicrous-sounding tale of the world's nastiest faceplant has inspired me to reach new heights! Come next Saturday, I will:
1. Leap off a thirty foot cliff. Concussion and broken bones are so cool!
2. Find the deadliest, most venomous snake in the North Carolina mountains and antagonize with EXTREME prejudice.
3. After the snake bites me and my legs swell up like I have elephantitis, I'll show you pictures so you can see how awesome I am!
Posted: October 02, 2006 (10:16 PM)
I like Just Cause.
Posted: October 02, 2006 (11:13 PM)
You know, REAL MEN don't go around chasing snakes and badgers. We go and hit on girls by showing off our hip Mars Volta dance moves.
Posted: October 03, 2006 (09:53 AM)
REAL men would rather have testicular cancer than listen to Volta.
And my money is on Lasty doing NONE of those things.
Posted: October 03, 2006 (12:27 PM)
The Mars Volta give me a hard on they're so manly.
Posted: October 03, 2006 (04:14 PM)
I went orienteering when I was 10. It wasn't fun. It was on this school trip where I also climbed over an electric fence. That wasn't fun either (but it was a challenge!).