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lasthero
Starting tonight, people will die. I'm a man of my word.

Title: WTF moment of the day.
Posted: May 30, 2006 (08:02 AM)
Steambot Chronicles

Alright, here’s my review for Steambot Chronicles. While it probably won’t be as popular as…RapeLay…>_>…I enjoyed the game and writing the review quite a bit. Weird fun, yeah.

Now.

Being a comic book fan, I see some odd stuff every now and then. The time Lois Lane got superpowers and immediately used them to whip Superman’s ass for no reason, that was odd. The time Spider-Man summoned a bunch of spiders to consume Shathra, the extra-dimensional spider-wasp woman, was odd. She-Hulk is nothing but weird crap (the current run is a good, funny comic, though; check it out if you have the chance)

But this…the stuff below…this hits me in a new way.

They’re called the ‘Great Ten’, and they’re basically China’s new superhero team in the DC universe.

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We’ve got the Celestial Archer, has some ties to Chinese mythology. Hasn’t gotten weird just yet, give it time.

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We’ve got the Ghost Fox Killer, and it just says that she “kill[s] evil men.” I get the feeling that involves sex somehow. Still not totally weird, though.

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Alright, the Mother of Champions. Her superpower is…







…wait for it…












waitfor it…


















…I swear, you’d never guess it in a million years…





EVERY THREE DAYS, SHE GIVES BIRTH TO 25 SUPER-HUMAN BABIES.


Wow. Just wow. I feel sorry for her. How is she even part of the team, really?

Celestial Archer: It’s a giant robot! I’ll shot it with my bow and arrow!
Great Fox Killer: I’ll seduce it!
Mother of Champions: I’ll…give birth 25 times, let the army raise my children over a few years, then hope the robot is still around!

It’s like something John Bryne would think up…yeah, nobody got that…

Anyway, that was just my WTF moment for the day.


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Title: Tomb Raider and the Ultimates
Posted: May 19, 2006 (11:30 AM)
Tomb Raider: Legends

There, finished! Don’t have much to say about it, but opinions are always wanted, as ya know. Moving on, let’s talk about something awesome

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GRAND THEFT AMERICA

This is one my favorite current storylines, but it’s not taking place in the normal Marvel universe, it takes place in the Ultimates alternates reality. For those who haven’t been around when I’ve explained it before, the Ultimates universe is like the Marvel universe, only…realer. The characters are more ‘in your face’, more ‘extreme’; the stories pretty much happen like they would happen in current day.

Now, let me set you up here.

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In the Ultimates universe, the hero group that you know as the Avengers are called…well…the Ultimates. The differences are:

-Captain America is pretty much the same as usual, though much stronger and much more…I don’t know…meaner, than the normal Cap. He beat the crap out of Giant Man when after he beat up his wife. Cool scene.
-Black Widow is an ex-Russian spy who’s not quite as ‘ex’ as she’d like people to believe.
-Iron Man is pretty much the same as always. Gets drunk. Hits on every woman he sees. Jobs to the Hulk.
-Thor is one of the biggest changes; he’s something of a hippy here. He has long hair, he hates Bush, and he believes he’s the true son of Odin, despite everyone believing he’s a nut. He has the power of Thor, but…well, you’ll see. Whether he’s the real deal or not hasn’t been made clear.
-Giant Man is a wife-beater, much worse than he was in the normal universe. He not only got into a fist-fight with his wife (a fist-fight in which his wife did a good job of holding her own) but he used this helmet of his to control a bunch of ants and make them attack her when she shrunk to Wasp size.
-The Wasp is something of a floozy here; she was cheating on Giant Man with Captain America, went straight with Captain America after Giant Man was kicked off the team for spousal abuse, then started cheating on Captain America with Giant Man. Besides her poor ability to pick men, she’s also Asian in this incarnation.
-Hawkeye is a full-fledged government agent in this incarnation; he has…or had a family, and he doesn’t wear a costume.
-And the Hulk is, well…

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Hulk is horny.

Okay, now, the current storyline is Grand Theft America. About a year or so ago, Dr. Banner had one of his Hulk escapades, and the Hulk tore a hole through New York City looking for Betty, who was, at the time, dating Freddie Prinze Jr. (which led to a rather awkward “Hulk horny! Hulk want Freddie Prinze Jr!” quote) 300 people were killed, but the fact that Dr. Banner was working for SHIELD or who the Hulk actually was never made it out to the public. Until recently.

Long story short, someone leaked the information, there was a trial for Dr. Banner, they knocked him out and put him on an empty battlecruiser, and dropped a nuclear bomb on him in an effort to kill him. Didn’t work, but eh.

Anyway, the same someone who leaked the information made up a story about Thor, and a convincing story at that: Thor wasn’t the son of Odin, he was a crazy hippy who stole an experimental belt and hammer from his government. The Ultimates turned on Thor and took him down.

Next Hawkeye’s family was brutally killed; a bunch of shadow troopers broke in, slaughtered his wife and kids, and took Hawkeye away for torture and testing. And guess who SHIELD saw on the security tapes and blamed for it?

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Captain America gets ambushed, puts up a crazy fight, but is eventually dragged down and holed up in SHIELD headquarters.

Now, it should be made clear that, in this universe, the Ultimates are more like soldiers than superheroes. They go where the government goes to, they have a huge reserve of super-powered soldiers behind them, they their might around the world and whatnot. So, pretty much like it is today, with superpowers.

It looks like the world decides to push back.

They attack out of nowhere, striking hard on American soil. With the Ultimates heaviest hitters out of action, SHIELD is overrun by an army of superhumans; hell, the USA is overrun. The president flees. The army is smacked down. They even knock down the Statue of Liberty. And then, they announce themselves:

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The Liberators. A team made up of united nations fighting against the US’s dominant ways. They effectively take over America in about…eh…two hours. Natasha, the Black Widow, was working for them, got the intel they needed, spilled the news about the Hulk, framed Captain America, and currently holds Tony Stark captive by sleeping with him and pinning him down to a bed with a gun in his face. Loki, the Norse God of Mischief, was the one who tricked them into taking out Thor. Hank Pym, the Giant Man, made robots for them.

Needless to say, I’m interested to see how things’ll turn out.
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Title:
Posted: May 16, 2006 (09:52 AM)
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What the hell?

Okay, okay. I...don't know how to put this. I understand the need for advertising. And, don't get me wrong, I like anime and I don't mind the occasional fanservice. We have more hentai reviews than anyone else, so I guess having a banner for 'Do You Like Horny Bunnies' makes sense from a commercial standpoint But this...eh.

I don't hate it. I just feel really...weird about it. Disturbed, I guess. :/
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Title:
Posted: May 12, 2006 (03:24 PM)
Yeah, okay, breaking report. I'm trying to stop two-blog-posts in one day, but something's caught my eye...

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These are booth babes? Ugh. Man, they really are overrated. The one in the middle looks like a man; does anyone else see that?
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Title: JL: Task Force
Posted: May 12, 2006 (11:47 AM)
Justice League: Task Force


Okay, it's not Tomb Raider Legends. I wish I could come up for some reason, but, being honest, I just did not feel like reviewing that game. Superheroes, though, are always up my alley, and I've been wanting to fill out my retro reviews, so...

Note: The cover for this game sucked ass, so I found a Pete Ross picture and used it instead.

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Title: Life is sucking. >_<
Posted: May 10, 2006 (10:05 AM)
Had a lot of brother troubles as of late, plus I've had college exams up my ass. Shall have a review for Tomb Raider: Legends tomorrow, and probably something else to make up for lost time.
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Title: Captain America KICKS ASS.
Posted: May 04, 2006 (01:07 PM)
Civil War is rocking the house.

Okay, let me fill you in on what’s going. The first issue of Civil War came out yesterday. Awesome stuff. In a nutshell:

-This team of superheroes called the New Warriors got in a fight, and they would up destroying a school and killing a bunch of kids.
-The superhero community is getting mad flak for this, and there’s major talk of having all the superheroes registered.
-Some heroes are for it, some heroes are against it. Iron Man leads the ‘for it’ side, Captain America leads the ‘against it’ side.
-The Human Torch got beat up outside a club by some angry clubbers.
-Tony (Iron Man) got spit in the face by an angry mother of one of the dead children.

NOW.

None of this is the highlight. The absolute best part of this issue has to be when Captain America kicks straight-up ass and decides to go against the government. The scene: Captain America is on the SHIELD helicarrier, and SHIELD’s current boss (Fury is missing) asks him to help with the anti-superhero force that they’re putting together to stop superheroes who don’t accept the Registration Act. Cap says no. They bring in a bunch of guys with tranquilizers to take Cap down so he doesn’t rally against their cause…and this is what happens.

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Hell yes. [Sorry they're small, Photobucket always screws my pictures like this for some reason. To see them large, click here:

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Title: ????
Posted: May 02, 2006 (12:19 PM)

I’m not a particularly smart person, and I’ll be the first to admit. A lot of that comes from laziness, I could probably understand a lot more things I actually tried to. But, still, even when I do try, there are a few things that just…boggle me.

List time.

Things I Just Don’t Get

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~DC Comic’s Crisis of Infinite Earths~

If you’re a simple guy like me and you look at the above image, you probably think something along the lines of WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. As knowledgeable as I (would like you to think) am with comics, I couldn’t tell you. For the life of me, I can’t wrap around it.

There’s this guy named Anti-Monitor who…like…wanted to rule all the realities and stuff. And there were more than one Superman, and…like…he came to Earth-One, and Earth-Two…and there’s different versions of all the heroes…and…gah.

It’s not hard to find information about the Crisis, but every time I look it up, it’s this huge block of text with a dozen links that reads like a school report. If memory serves, they did all this to bring the different universes together, since they had some major continuity issues with the storylines and…eh, whatever. It’s better off forgotten…except, we can’t forget it, because they just had to bring it up again with the recent Infinite Crisis and the One Year Later stuff, where they’re skipping ahead a year in the timeline, because…eh, I won’t get into it.

At least Power Girl came out of all that mess (I think)

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I like Power Girl.

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~The Attraction to Angelina Jolie~

She can’t act worth a damn, and she never could. Tomb Raider? Alexander? That crap-piece with Brad Pitt? I can’t even remember her in a role where she did not suck out loud. She has no talent. None. And I could understand that looks have more to do with movies than talent these days, but damn, she’s not even hot. People make fun of me and my love of manly women, but damn, Jolie looks like some one hit her upside the head with a blunt object. Repeatedly. Hard. I see her mug everywhere; I can’t turn on the TV without seeing her adopt (some might say ‘kidnap’) some kid from some third-world country, I can’t go to Food Lion without seeing a dozen magazines tell me about how she’s with Brad Pitt/cheating on Brad Pitt/hitting Brad Pitt. Who cares?

~Genj, Sportsman, and Boob’s taste in music~

I don’t know, I just can’t get down with the indie stuff. I’ve tried. Listened to that Death Cab for Cutie stuff, Artic Monkey or whatever, a couple other bands with weird names. It just feels…fluffy to me. VM sends me some metal every once in a while, and some of it’s good, but most of the time…well, to me, it sounds like a bunch of guys randomly hitting stuff and screaming, which I get plenty of at college. And weird, disturbed lyrics. I’ll listen to the stuff, but I feel the need to listen to something comprehensible and good immediately after (usually Johnny Cash)

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~African American Representation in Video Games~

I’ll admit, given the way my parents raised me, I might have the tendency to blow this out of proportion. But when I see games like 187: Ride of Die and 50 Cent: Bulletproof, and when I see characters like Barrett (above) who are just blatant stereotypes, I can’t help but feel…eh. I realize there are demographics and things that company’s have to appeal to, but is it too much to ask for a black guy in a videogame who doesn’t:

A) use dancing as a fighting style
B) play basketball
C) belong to a gang
D) carry semi-automatic weapons
E) have a horrible grasp of the English language.

Yeah, I play the race card; it’s not like the argument holds any less water than the stereotypical women debate. Though, being fair, there have been some notable black characters recently: Raven (Tekken 5) and Zasalamel (Soul Calibur III), so I’ll at least give Namco some credit. But not much.

Title: Voodoo Chile
Posted: May 01, 2006 (01:02 PM)
Because it amuses me to do so, I'm going to put up a preview of an up and coming fanfic of mine's here. Realize that not a whole lot of people reading the blogs are fantasy inclined, but eh, maybe someone'll say something. I was writing fiction before I was writing reviews, and I want to stay sharp on both sides, you know? Yeah.

By the way, all this talk about the Wii has got me remembering when the Dreamcast was called 'the Katana'. Not that there's anything wrong with the name 'Dreamcast', but I always thought Katana was a badass name. It especially sounds cool when you put the word 'bitch' after it.

"Yo, man, where you going?"
"I'm going to go play with my Katana, bitch."
"Oh, alright. See ya."

On the flipside, with the Wii...

"Yo, man, where you going?"
"I'm going to go play with my Wii, bitch."
That'd be all to the conversation; someone would be getting their ass kicked after that. Meh.

~~~

Despite the coloring of Mars, Alba City rarely appeared red from an overhead view. The atmospheric simulators worked wonders; marvelous machines that pumped air and life into the dead world, made it a zombie planet of sorts. Good for humans to live. And struggle. And fight. And die.

All for his purposes, of course.

Scorpion couldn’t help but feel small as he surveyed the landscape, looking on from the roof of what had formally been the Red Dragon Syndicate’s headquarters. It wasn’t the city that made dwarfed him, though; no, if anything the city just emboldened him. He knew he could tame it, he knew he had the skill. The city was in shambles, the syndicates at war, weak men fighting for weak causes. A strong hand could take control of it all with minimal effort. Scorpion intended for that strong hand to be his.

The position of dominance, however, was considerably more daunting when Scorpion took into account the last one to hold it: Vicious. A man who ruled on pure fear and power. The dog that didn’t just bite the hand, but killed the master. The kind of great man that comes around in a rare while. Enviable.

The elevator behind Scorpion made a slight ring and sudden stop, followed by footsteps coming his way, but he didn’t bother to turn around. Simply Saguri returning from her tasks.

“I’ve returned, sir.” Her voice was thin; almost a whisper, almost a hiss. Alluring in a way, though Scorpion had not intentions on telling her so. “Our guests have arrived.”

“Oh? Good.” He nodded, but that was the only motion. “Saguri, come here for a moment, would you?”

A sigh from his subordinate. “Respectfully, sir, the dragon heads are busy and impatient men. The longer we keep them waiting, the less receptive they’ll be to your prepositions.”

“Don’t worry about that; I can be very convincing when I want to be.” A wayward gust knocked some hair in his eye, but he quickly flicked it away; the blonde didn’t go well with the landscape. “Come here. I want you to see this view.”

She walked up beside him and looked out, and it was only then that Scorpion bothered to glance her way. Seeing her dark hair flow in the wind, the thin strands blowing against her the smooth and slights curves of her face, gracing against the cheeks…she was a beautiful woman. Young as he was, he knew it. “It is quite nice.”

“Yes, it is.” He breathed the air in deep, what little of it he could get at that altitude. “Do you believe the dead are aware of our actions, Saguri?”

“Not being dead, I would not know for a fact, sir.”

He shook his head, chuckled. “Well, obviously. Give me your opinion. Please.”

Another sigh. “I believe that they look over us, contemplate, think. Envy.”

“Envy?”

She looked down, towards him, a curse of his height. “Yes, envy. They wish to be alive again, experience life. Or re-experience, as the case would be.”

“That’s rather presumptuous of you to think.” He smiled, wry and small and devilish.

“How so?”

“In death, they’re free from life and all the pain it brings. No more suffering. No more caring. Maybe we should envy them.” He took one final look over the scenery, letting the image sink into his memory. “I’m ready. Let’s greet our guests.”

~~~***~~~***~~~

Samurai Bebop
Session #5
Voodoo Chile

***~~~***~~~***
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Title: Separation Anxiety
Posted: April 28, 2006 (12:47 PM)
Spider-Man and Venom: Separation Anxiety

And there ya go. This one's a bit shorter than my usual stuff, but I like it. It's not like there was a whole lot to talk about, anyway.

Smackdown vs. Raw 2006
From Russia With Love (PS2)
Megaman X: Command Mission (PS2)
Seperation Anxiety (GEN)
Shaq Fu (SNES)
Grandia III (PS2)
Grandia (PS)(Completed, but pending)
Wild Arms 4 (PS2-Probably save this one for Spring Break)
F-Zero X (N64) (Completed, but pending)
Pokemon XD (GC)
Xenosaga (PS2)
Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance (GC) (Completed, but pending)
Phantasy Star Collection (GBA) (Snorrrrreeeee...)

Now, what next...I'll probably put the finishing touches on the Fire Emblen review, uncrappify it. Any requests?
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Title: SYMBIOTES
Posted: April 27, 2006 (07:14 PM)
Alright, here’s the deal.

If all goes well and I can stop playing and watching the Godfather long enough (awesome movie and awesome game so far, should’ve gotten into it sooner) I’m going to release my Separation Anxiety review tomorrow. Now, I know the storyline behind Separation Anxiety and the symbiotes and everything major about it, but I’m not going to be able to touch on it all in the review because doing so would stretch it out too much. Plus, it’s a lame storyline and I don’t want to retell it.

But, I will recap the history of symbiotes in my blog here, because A) It might help you understand a few things in the review better B) It amuses me, because I really don’t care much about the symbiotes and love making fun of them.

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Yes, there are two Spider-Men in this picture. You don’t even want to know, believe me.

On subject. Originally, back when there was just one of them, symbiotes were pretty cool. The first symbiote was this thing that attached itself to Spider-Man during the Secret Wars and took on the form of his badass black costume.

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Just because it amuses me, I’ll put up a picture of Spider-Man and the Black Cat making out, too. Anyway, since the new suit gave him extra strength, unlimited webbing, and changed clothes for him, he didn’t ask much questions about where it came from or what it was. In reality, the costume wasn’t actually a costume at all, it was an alien symbiote that was feeding off his adrenaline and taking his body for joyrides when he went to sleep, making Peter feel really tired when he woke up. Long story short, Spider-Man got the suit off, the suit bonded with a suicidal photographer who hated Spider-Man and Peter Parker, a few ominous comics later and…

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Venom cometh. Notice how he doesn’t have the sharp teeth, the tongue, and the slobbering in his first appearance. I guess…some one decided slobbering green liquid was cool…

Venom had some mad potential to be a great villain. He was stronger than Spider-Man. He didn’t trip of the spider-sense (because the symbiote was part of Peter for a time, his spider-sense doesn’t register it as a threat and doesn’t react to Venom), which really threw of Spidey’s game, and he knew that Spider-Man was Peter Parker. He’d pop up at Peter’s house, his job, and just creep the hell out of him for the fun of it.

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(On a side note, ‘The Sand and the Fury’ has got to be the straight-up lamest name I’ve ever heard for a comic book story, and I’ve heard some bad ones)

But Venom’s badassness was not meant to last, and as time went on he just started sucking on a routine basis. He would job to Spider-Man, get put in the most cliché storylines, and he kept threatening to eat people’s brains.

“I’M GONNA EAT YOUR BRAINS!”

He actually said that. Though, to be fair, he actually DOES eat people’s brains. At least he backs it up.

Venom would eventually have a child…or, his symbiote would, because Eddie is a bit of a tool who has a habit of picking up suicidal and nutball girlfriends, and is therefore unlikely to have consensual sex with another woman any time soon. The symbiote’s spawn would go on to bond with the worst possible person on the planet it could have bonded with: A serial killer named Carnage.

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Yes, Carnage is on a surfboard. The Silver Surfer’s surfboard, to be exact. You…do not…want to know.

Now, unlike Venom, Carnage was never really cool. In theory he has the potential to be cool villain; he’s like Venom, only much more powerful (at least fives times stronger than Spider-Man) and without the weird sense of justice Venom had. He would’ve been cool if they’d just used him sporadically. But no, they whored him out, and eventually led up to the Maximum Carnage storyline that the game was based on.

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This was a fourteen part thing. FOURTEEN DAMN PARTS. So, yeah, he got milked.

But the series must have sold well, because there were many stories involving symbiotes after this, not the least of which included the Separation Anxiety four-parter:

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Interesting note: Eddie doesn’t have his symbiote during these issues (hence the name), but he does in the game. There’s probably a reason for that which I’m forgetting about, but it probably sucked.

Five symbiotes, and only one of them was ever remembered or cared about: Scream, the one with the red face and the yellow skin. Her popularity more than likely came from her looking like Mary Jane in her human form and having a nice chest. Not trying to sound sexist, but it sure as hell wasn’t her lame ass personality.

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The chest. Definitely the chest.

Anyway, I’m bored with this now, and there’s not much else to the story. Nothing interesting, anyway. If you didn’t know, now you know. I’m going to go home and shoot people.
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Title: Vampire humping for the masses
Posted: April 18, 2006 (03:09 PM)
BloodRayne 2

This one was a bit of a surprise for me, had much more fun writing it than I thought I would. Change of pace feels nice, most definitely, and since the subject matter was so dark, I got to fill my review with lots of sexual innuendo and fear little of anyone complaining about it. Sweet. Anyway, tell me what ya think, as always.

Now, what next...

I'm thinking maybe Seperation Anxiety. Some old school brawling would be nice, and I could use the refresher.

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Title: Wondering...
Posted: April 13, 2006 (07:51 AM)
I've been thinking lately...maybe I'm too positive.

I'm probably a little too positive in life overall, but right now I'm thinking more on the review front. Like, take for instance, GUN. I loved GUN. I mean, I really loved GUN. But then I hear about other playing it, and they say it's shit. And, let's say for instance, my Suikoden Tactics review. Didn't exactly love it, but didn't think it was crap, either, and I'm in the minority with that. And, most recently, my Kingdom Hearts II review. I wrote that knowing that, somewhere along the line, someone would call the game and my review of it gay. And, lo and behold, a discussion about Brokeback Mountain breaks out in which Guts', jackass that he is, says the game sounds like 'ultimate gay', which is pretty easy to link to the way I described it.

Now, I think Guts is a total fucking prick, and I don't base that of his review skills or anything. But he's a total fucking prick with an opinion, and it's an opinion that I seem to get a lot of. A lot of people seem to like my reviews, just totally disagree with them.

I guess that's good, it's straight that I'm at least getting my format right and no one's accusing me of 'cookie cutter' reviews and whatnot, because that's something I'm really looking to avoid. But, at the same time, I don't want to just sound good, I want people to be able to rely on my opinion. Because, you know, I think that's what reviewing should be about: Half of it should be giving fellow gamers advice on game selection, half of it should focus on doing that is as original a way as possible. Having the second half is nice, but I don't want to gain a rep over time that labels me as a reviewer who just gives out high grades to everything that passes his way. Because, eventually, that'll mark me as a sellout, and I would straight up hate that.

So, I don't know. Maybe I should go on a hard streak, review games that are...just...harder. Like something that's a bit on the fringe, not a huge game. Something heavy on violence. Another FPS, maybe. I'd just hate to get to the point where people see a review for a 'pussy' game (games that are just automatically marked as lame shit by a lot of people, like Pokemon XD and Kingdom Hearts) on the front page and just start guessing it's me who did it...and they're right. I should switch things up more, I think. I don't know. Paranoid.

Also, on an unrelated note, my music teacher rocks. He's turning me on to some cool music.

Title: CIVIL WAR
Posted: April 12, 2006 (07:40 AM)
Kingdom Hearts II

Enjoy. Or not. But preferably enjoy.

Now, moving onward. I’m aware that, while some of you may not follow comics, you do sort of care, I suppose. You like Spider-Man or Captain America, but maybe you don’t really keep track of what they’re up to. Cool. But there’s a really, really big event coming up in Marvel Comics, called Civil War, and it’s probably going to have a big influence on the company in the coming years. The next time you check up on your favorite heroes, they could be all fucked up and you’ll be all confused. Not only that, but Civil War is looking to be an extremely well done series, worth checking out even if you’re not a fan. So here’s a little promo to catch you up.


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Okay, here’s the start. There’s this group called the Illuminati. It consists of:

Iron Man
Mr. Fantastic
Sub-Mariner/Namor (He’s like Aquaman, only stronger and an asshole)
Dr. Strange
Black Bolt (He can blow up a planet by talking. That’s all you need to know)
Professor Xavier

These guys meet behind their teams backs, and discuss matters. It’s basically an effort, suggested by Iron Man, to coordinate all the superheroes of the world without ending up like the UN. And it’s a noble idea…but it doesn’t quite work right. See, one of the first major decisions they make is to send the Hulk off into space, after he goes on a rampage in Las Vegas and kills 26 people and a dog. (don’t worry, the Hulk will be back. He’s currently in this miniseries called ‘Planet Hulk’. Him beating up aliens. Rocks) Namor, however, is strongly opposed to this, so much so that he punches Iron Man in the face and starts up a fight that Dr. Strange has to break up. And it only gets worse from there.

The next time they meet, Iron Man shows them a bill called the Superhero Registration Act. This act will make it illegal for people like Spider-Man, Daredevil…anybody with powers, basically; they’ll all have to be registered under the government, secret identities kept in ‘safe storage’. If they don’t, they’re violating the law (more so than usual) and SHIELD will send a task force to hunt them. So it’s a superhero crackdown.

And Iron Man supports it. Sort of.

Iron Man predicts that this bill WILL pass, that the climate makes it impossible for it not to. He also predicts that, when it does, many superheroes will be against, and many will be for it, and that things will get very ugly, very fast. So he suggests that, if the Illuminati show up and give support to it, they can diffuse it from within and soften the blow.

Namor just laughs and leaves, and when Iron Man implies that they might bother him in Atlantis over the bill, he says it would be an act of war. Mr. Fantastic agrees with Iron Man. Dr. Strange is utterly disgusted and tells them never to call on his aid again. Professor X isn’t around, because he doesn’t have a power anymore since the Scarlet Witch caused all but 198 mutants to lose their powers in the recent House of M arc (long and stupid story) Black Bolt…well, he can’t talk without killing everyone, but he does this thing with his hands, gestures. Iron Man just says ‘I think I get the gist’ in response, so BB’s position on the matter is still up in the air.

Now, here’s the setup.

Lots of heroes fighting each other.

It’s strongly believed that Captain America is going to be against the bill, and he’ll be the major leader opposing it, as an opposite to Iron Man supporting it.

The Fantastic Four are going to be split in half. It looks like Human Torch/Invisible Woman and Mr. Fantastic/Thing at this point.

Spider-Man is going to be against it, but he has to side with Iron Man because Tony got him to agree to this blood oath prior to. Spidey’s new suit is also made by Iron Man, so it would be awkward to fight against the guy using his own tech. More than likely, though, Spidey will switch sides, and that switch will signal the change back into his classic costume.

The event is going to start in earnest in May, with Civil War #1. The bill basically gets a boost when a group of lame B-rate superheroes called the New Warriors get into a fight with some lame B-rate supervillains…a battle that causes an elementary school to explode. While all the children were inside. Baaaaadddd.

Anyway, I’m fairly psyched for the event. Looks badass. If you’ve always been fringe with comics and you’re considering getting in, this is the time.

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Title: Yo.
Posted: April 11, 2006 (06:29 AM)
Took a week off (kind of) for some personal stuff, and DAMN, did I miss a lot.

I won't say anything on all the...stuff, I suppose; it's not really my place (though, I will say that I consider DarkFact to be a dick. That perception has nothing to do with HG, though) I've already talked to everyone I need to talk to on the matter, and I'm not taking sides or anything. I will say that it does sadden me to see my reviewing buddies leave...well, 'leave' is kind of a weak term; I see plenty of them outside of HG, but it does kind of suck, still. Feel kind of lonely, now. But, for the record, I will say that I have no intention of leaving. Not that anyone really cares much either way, but eh.

On that note, I'll have a review for Kingdom Hearts II coming this afternoon, which people like Bluberry and Scott will no doubt use an excuse to call me homosexual in AIM chats because I actually liked the game. It's not my favorite game ever, but it's pretty good, and it's so much better than the first you have to give props.

Also, something I started wondering this morning: Anyone know just how successful telemarketers are? Does anyone actually ever buy the crap that they try to sell off?

Telemarketer: Hi, I'm interupting your important life so I can sell you a useless foot sponge that will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Customer/Victim: Well, GOOOOOOOLLLLYYY. Let me put my personal life on hold and let my dinner get cold so I can purchase this!

Edit:

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